Chapter- Fifty Three

That day Mingyu held you in his embrace for so long while you were crying. You couldn't stand it anymore and broke down in tears. Mingyu never listens to you. He told the manager that yes he had relationship with tzuyu, but they already broke up. And the worse thing happened. Tzuyu really swallowed sleeping pills in a huge amount. You saw Mingyu's worry from a far. When he cares about tzuyu a lot, why to act like he doesn't? You couldn't stand the pity he was showing you. You didn't need that at all. In this phase you already realized you could really live alone. Though it was frustrating, you didn't see mingyu as much as possible. And after two days of that media issue, tzuyu tried to commit suicide in that way.

You stopped the soft tone of violin realising there was someone in the rooftop. Looking back you saw Wonwoo was standing with his hands covered in his sleeves. You looked away keeping the violin down.

'Aren't you cold?'

Wonwoo told coming near.

You told no quietly. He took a seat beside you in the matt.

It was late afternoon. The sun was setting making the sky looking prettier. Wonwoo was looking at the sky placing his hands on his knee.

'Tzuyu is okay. Her sense came back.'

Wonwoo told. tzuyu's deed was something that was enough to lower seventeen's popularity. The whole kpop industry has gone crazy. Members were worrying too much for this issue. So this is an assuring news that she is ok. Wonwoo came to the rooftop to tell you knowing you were so stressed about this, as there was a good chance of destroying Mingyu's career.

'That's a good news.'

'Let's go eat something. Joshua hyung made you food.'

It was so unusual from wonwoo that he would worry about your eating.

'I'm not hungry.'

Your head hurts for the crying for all the day. And surely you were feeling hungry af.

'Come on, you didn't eat all day. Eat something you will feel good. Mingyu will come soon. Don't worry.'

'He won't come. He cares for unnie so much.'

Wonwoo couldn't look at your face. It was all puffy.

'Let's go. shua hyung is waiting for you.'

You were sitting your head down. Wonwoo put his hand softly on your hair, comforting you. That's so unusual of him.

You looked at him and stood up after. Who knows how the other members doing? It's a problem of whole team, not only yours.

'Where are the others?'

You asked while going down.

'Some of them went with Mingyu. They are returning maybe. Some of them are here.'

'Mingyu will now understand right? That we should break up.'

You looked at wonwoo trying back who was behind you.

'I don't know. He can't just gonna leave you.'

'Why is he doing this? Is he pitying me? Like he is responsible for what he did, and so he feels guilty. So he is gonna keep me.'

You asked walking. You know Wonwoo knows better than you as Mingyu's bestfriend. You see them talk a lot in the yard.

Wonwoo didn't reply. He didn't want to make things more complicated.

'Joshua hyung told he is very busy that maybe he just left for the studio.'

Wonwoo told taking out a chair for you. There were dishes made by shua on the table.

You sat down taking the fork wonwoo handed to you. You didn't know Wonwoo was good serving people.

'Call me if you need anything. Should I call Seungkwan or Vernon?'

'Hm? Why?'

'As you don't feel comfortable beside me. But I think they are sleeping in this hour.'

Wonwoo told pouring water for you. He told that so easily like nothing.

'I'm waiting in the garden, call me loudly if you need anything.'

You nodded eating mouthful. You weren't gonna call wonwoo in any way. You were embarrassed hearing from him.

..

As you knew mingyu didn't return that night. Yes he is a caring boyfriend. You felt insomnia for the whole night. You forgot the cigarette count. Everytime when there was a car sound, you were running to the window to see if it was Mingyu's car. You knew he wasn't gonna come today. Still you were thinking maybe he would. You fell asleep in sofa when it was dawn. And a knock in your door made you wake up from your nightmare. You woke up sweating fully. You could barely realize it was a dream.

'W-wait!'

You told getting down from the sofa. You noticed the clock. It was 11 in the morning. Oh when did you fall asleep?

You found an exhausted Mingyu standing the other side of door when opened it. He was looking tired with dark circles. He intensely was looking at you. He didn't see you for a whole long day and a night. You are looking like a little pink fairy mistakenly roaming in population. You should stay in the flowers.

'M-Mingyu!'

You were too excited to see him. You didn't know you were missing him too much actually. You tried to smile but Mingyu didn't smile back like other days. Instead he waited for sometime and then came near you bending his neck, taking your whole face in his one palm he kissed you intensely. You couldn't process the whole thing what was he doing. Also the kiss felt like the ones what mingyu does before going anywhere without you, where you wouldn't be staying with him. It felt like a goodbye kiss, full of sorrow. Also it felt like the most delicate kiss Mingyu did ever give. It was feeling as he was trying his best to give you the softest kiss of earth. Like if he would be a bit harsh everything would destroy. You were so lost in his kiss that you didn't even close your eyes. Instead you were zoning out taking Mingyu's mole near your eyes. Mingyu didn't care about your not kissing back. You felt like an eternal time had passed while he was kissing. But it was not long at all. Before Mingyu's hand started to press your soft face, he released the kiss. He didn't want to hurt you anymore. He looked at you ignoring the fact that there was still a line of saliva between both of your lips.

You didn't know how to look at his eyes after that. But you heard a voice and had to look up. He called out with what he calls.

'Fairyssi!'

You could feel his low tone of voice in the air. He was looking like he had gone through a lot. Even his hair was messy, that is so unusual.

Mingyu was caressing your face with his thumb looking at your eyes. You suddenly felt nervous seeing his eyes. You looked away.

You walked a step and hugged him wrapping your hands around his waist. You could hear the sound of his heart.

'Is everything okay in the hospital? You looking tired.'

You told closing your eyes, feeling his heartbeats. You were avoiding contacts with mingyu recently after that day you told him to break up. You wanted to make him realize that you really meant it. But now after a long night of worrying about him made you soft that you couldn't but hug him dearly.

'Yes.'

Mingyu closed his eyes embracing you. He exhaled a deep breath that he couldn't tell what was supposed to. He made a hard promise to Tzuyu. She told something horrific. Mingyu couldn't make things more complicated.

You didn't want to bother him. Also you were too busy for the new song. You wanted to let their problems being solved without getting interrupted by you.

Even you don't see him often. He keeps spending time rather than dorm. His mom called you and you found out that he was staying home as much as he could. But you thought he was with tzuyu. Anyway you are no one to have a say in that. But all that you sometimes can realize that mingyu visits you in late nights, when he is sure you are sleeping. He comes and sits for some moment sitting in the sofa. Or sometimes he gets closer to you, on the bed beside you. But he never calls you. Also you realized when he put the blanket over you carefully. You just can't understand things till now. You just don't want to think about any of these, but all you know that though everything got complicated that made you feel to think mingyu didn't love you at all. You feel sad as well as good that actually Mingyu loves you so much. Though he isn't able to stay with you, thinking about the emptiness of his soul when he sits beside your bed, made you feel sad and also euphoric at the same time. You never knew you would meet someone like this, like a Kim Mingyu. The sorrow of the feeling of not having Mingyu so dearly like before are fading up with the time being. You exactly don't know why you don't feel extremely sad. It feels like you have so much tears to drop but somehow your eyes are so dry. You can't cry at all. All you do is zone out everywhere you go.

The water is cold. But you can't feel it much. The moon is shining brightly over your head. Suddenly you wanted to have a bath under the moon in swimmingpool. This is around 1AM. Most of the members sleep early because of hectic schedule. But somehow mingyu is awake and he came sit on the corner of pool with his knees folded. You noticed he didn't say anything after came here. He was looking at the moon bending his head, putting his palms in the ground. You didn't know what he was thinking, also you didn't want to know anything. You felt a bit amazed if he was following you earlier. How would he know that you came here? You can't stand his overprotective behaviour now. It's not like other members would come bother you when you take a bath here. Atleast it never happened.

You were standing still in the water with the water in your chest level. The water is dazzling because of the moonlight. You took off the baggy hoodie earlier before getting in the water. Now you were wearing the large sized inner with a short jeans. The long ribbons of the inner was irritating you so much. But you were standing calmly looking at your hand trying to catch the moon in water. You didn't notice but your skin was dazzling looking very pretty.

'You want to join?'

You came to mingyu and reached his leg level. With your wet body you hugged his thigh bending your face on it. You didn't know why you did that. You shouldn't act like that. But in this mysterious moment you couldn't resist what is truth. You know the thing had built in you and mingyu is not something that can break so easily. Still you didn't know why things happen like that.

'Are you scared?'

Mingyu told looking at the moon. He was so attentive. You felt a bit sad that he was not interested talking with you. He was not looking at you let alone hold your face. Holding your face when he talks to you is so common for him that it made you sad now.

'N-no.'

You told removing your hold from his thigh. You started going to the middle of the pool that was dangerous for you. The center point had no stairs so water there was so deep for you. You have to remember this while bathing or have to just maintain the water level before coming. But today you directly came here without any preparation.

'Isn't the water cold?'

Mingyu asked.

'No.'

You were feeling so embarrassed for asking him to join. Mingyu doesn't like water so much. And overall it's really a weird time for him. He is a routine guy.

You looked back when Mingyu had got down into the pool shirtless. He was wearing a half pant only. You didn't notice when he put off his tshirt. Now his walking in the water was making sound that you looked back to see.

'Don't go any further.'

But you took some steps backwards looking at him. You never saw any human more beautiful than Mingyu. You didn't notice when you went to the center while seeing him. You just remembered it happened in a second that you felt like you were drowning. There was no ground under your feat.

'I told you not to go any further.'

You found yourself being hold by Mingyu. Woah he is standing on the ground so easily and you can't. What an insult! Mingyu told moving your wet hair from your face. He was holding your waist by other hand. Oh my god! Why is he so fine for? You Couldn't look back because you didn't see him closely for some days serially.

Mingyu knows how much you love him so didn't bother of your amazed eyes looking at him. There were a big surprise in your face of being saved by you. He wrapped you with both of his hands to make you feel safe.

'Are you okay?'

He asked but you didn't answer for not hearing.

'W-why are you here?'

You asked him as if you didn't ask him to.

'You just told me to. Is there any problem?'

Mingyu was talking slowly with his familiar low tone. He was heard tired. You kept holding Mingyu's nape for the whole time without talking. Suddenly you felt like there's nobody else in this world without you two. The moon and time made it feel like a scene from any other planet where there is only you and mingyu. You looked away for thinking like that. You are not a baby to think silly like this.

'Isn't the water cold?'

'It is.'

You felt Awkward again for not getting what to say. You felt there made a big gap already in this small time.

It got more awkward when mingyu kissed you suddenly when you were thinking to say something nice. He knew you were feeling haphazard.

You didn't know why you couldn't stop crying while in the kiss. Even after he removed it, you couldn't stop sobbing. You promised to yourself not to get so attached with anyone like this anymore.

'Why are you crying?'

Mingyu was seeing you holding your face trying not to cry. Your body was tremling because of crying. He asked when you started crying loudly. Nothing amazes mingyu more than how you cry. He didn't know someone can look so beautiful even when they cry before meeting you.

'Did I hurt you?'

Mingyu felt the softness of your lips with his hand.

'You hurt me mingyu!'

You told him screaming. You couldn't take it anymore. The complication of this beautiful relationship made you feel like a mad person.

'What? I didn't bite. Is it bleeding?'

Mingyu told trying to search it. You removed his hand from your face.

'Stop playing around mingyu. It's making me sick.'

Mingyu realized now. He knows it better that you were getting so sick of it.

'What should we do? Let's run away together and build a home near a beach, where no one would know us.'

'You fuckin liar.'

You told removing your hands from his nape trying to move from him.

'There's still a way to do that. You don't trust me anymore.'

Mingyu told looking at you.

You felt funny as he was talking about trust.

'I can't run away with a guy who loves someone else more than me. Who broke my heart like no one did.'

You told looking down. Ahh you never wanted to say anything harsh to mingyu. But now you just can't. You couldn't look at his eyes after saying those.

'I want to go.'

You told calmly. There's no point in blaming him. You want to forget everything. But mingyu was still holding you strongly. He was always so guilty for what he did. But hearing from you made him feel like he had done something beyond forgivable.

'Y/n! What do you want me to do? Tell me I'll do anything.'

'You are funny.'

'Y/n I'll fix everything believe me.'

Mingyu was holding your elbow not letting you go.

'M-Mingyu! I know what happened in the hospital. No need to hide from me. You promised her to break up with me. You told because she is mentally ill. You couldn't see the same thing happen again of her attempting suicide. But- but somehow you couldn't tell me that day. Instead you came and kissed me like it was a very nice day to live. Finish what you have started. I'm not going to say anything as I'm really no one.'

'Who are you y/n? Who is fairyssi?'

'Y-you do care about her far more than me. There's no fairy. Just don't hang me in there mingyu. Don't tell me that we would run away and live. Because that's never gonna happen when you chose someone else from your heart. No need to worry for me. It looks like you are showing me pity now. I'm sorry.'

Mingyu feels crazy. He can't sleep thinking about the complexity. Though he told tzuyu that he would break up with you for her well being. But it's impossible for him not to see you. Also he hates himself too much for caring about tzuyu. He felt he was going crazy.

'You may send a text telling you need a break up if you can't tell on my face. I waited and as well as feared thinking when you would come and tell me that-. Anyway it's getting late. Let's go.'

You told trying to remove his hold from you.

'Let go.'

'No.'

'Mingyu I bathed a lot. I don't want more today.'

'You will die if I let you go.'

He said as the water level was deeper than you.

..'Mingyu I'll go dry myself and sleep. I've schedule in the morning.'

Mingyu went a distance away from the center where you could stand. But he was holding you the same way.

'Just leave me now.'

'Don't treat me like hoshi y/n. I'm your boyfriend.'

'Boyfriend!? Do you really believe that you still are my boyfriend?'

'Yes. You are always mine.'

He held you tighter saying so. Sometimes mingyu acts so crazy. And you don't feel good about that.

'No I'm not. You can't c-claim. Don't play so hard mingyu.'

Mingyu didn't listen and just pulled you closer strongly.

'I don't want to let you go.'

Mingyu told roaming his hand over your back. He stopped at the ribbon. You looked down feeling upset that you could never make mingyu understand.He is acting like he doesn't know this is not happening like before.

'Gyu! I'm sorry to say but.. but now I d-dont feel comfortable when you touch. It makes me feel like you are using me. I can't find a huge difference between you and hoshi now.'

Mingyu got shocked at your info. He never thought like that. He left you as soon as you told hoshi's name. Your lie worked. You thought mingyu the most intelligent would not believe it. But woah he really did and look at his face. He is looking so traumatised.

You said sorry to him whispering for lying like this. But mingyu couldn't hear it. Wrapping the big towel around your body you went away. But mingyu still followed you afterwards. He can't let a pretty girl walk wet in a house full of men. He feels more insecure than you.

'You want to come in or what?'

You told after entering your room. Mingyu didn't but he was waiting in wet body.

'Lock the door before going to sleep. Specially when you sleep naked. Guys are inherently evil.'

'Thanks for the information.'

Mingyu was proceeding going away but you called him again

'And thanks a lot more for not doing anything with my naked body when you come and see me when I'm sleeping.'

'T-there's s-some blanket over y-'

And your saying triggered mingyu so badly that he thought you meant him doing something wrong with you when you not aware. You totally said that willingly so that he wouldn't come. But mingyu is getting emotional thinking he is the worst man ever, he makes you feel uncomfortable.

'Why? You never wanted too see what's inside the blanket?'

You told so casually like nothing while drying hair. Mingyu was talking through the corridor still now.

'Y/n I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like that. Yes you are beautiful, but I can't just do what you would hate so much.'

'Oh you did if I wouldn't hate that?'

You were talking angrily. You got so angry suddenly. You were trying to humiliate him.

'I don't think so. Good night-'

'Why?'

You stopped himself from going away by asking

'Because you got someone hotter than me? That's a very good point though. I did never give you something that would make you happy. Even if sometimes you wanted for consuming alcohol too much, i resisted. Sorry for that. I'm such a loser. You did the right thing Mingyu.'

'What do you mean?'

'Nothing. I don't want to say anything regarding that issue.'

You told combing your hair attentively looking at the mirror.

'But she must got something amazing.'

'Hey hey what do you mean?'

Mingyu entered your room finally.

'I didn't mean something bad. Don't get angry. She is much sexier than me.  And I hope she let you do everything you want and don't hate anything like me.'..

'Is she really that beautiful than me?'

Your voice cracked. You were suddenly so sad feeling so much inferior to tzuyu. You couldn't believe you were living your nightmare. You were personally so hurt that someone else is much amazing than you that mingyu had to choose her.

'She is.'

You felt really defeated from his honest answer. You were so embarrassed that you couldn't even look at mingyu. You were acting easy.

'Good for you.'

Mingyu felt so guilty after saying that. You are so popular in kpop for your beauty. Mingyu can't remember if he saw someone as beautiful as you before. But he stayed still looking at you combing. You were looking so calm. There's no sign of jealousy.

'I do believe I'm never comparable to unnie. I told because I was feeling sad why did you choose her. That's it. I hope you would wake up in the morning seeing that pretty face every morning. I was so tensed when it was the beginning phase of our relationship. I used to think about a lot how would I wake up after you in the morning, I look horrible after heavy sleeping. See we grew up a lot.'

Mingyu felt hurt when you told that you thought you would get mingyu as your close one, as your life partner, but actually that's not going to be.

You thought you wouldn't get a sleep today because you aren't the main character. Mingyu loves and speaks for tzuyu. What a good way to go sleep!

Mingyu waited alone in his couch thinking about something so deeply. He gave up on falling asleep. He stroke his hair taking the drink. He doesn't know the alcohol count now. He wants you to sit beside him. There's a beautiful mole on your left thigh, he can't stop think about that. Your calm voice makes him feel comforted. He wants you to fix his hair and say 'when will we get to move in that house? Our home beside beach?'

To be continued...Vote and comment Words count: 4013