Don't do it

- What kind of restaurant? - Ly asked when Rhiannon told her to schedule her final meeting with Paul Banks.

Rhi shrugged.

- Ask him. I don't mind.

Lydia assented and was about to walk out, but changed her mind. She needed to say it.

- Rhi, you know I care about you, right? - She asked very slowly.

Rhi lifted her gaze, frowning.

- Yes, dear, me too. - She answered, taking off her spectacles to look at her assistant in the eye.

- I don't know, nor is it any of my concern what has happened between you and him. - She gestured towards the file she held in her hand. The folder read PAUL BANKS. - But I sense you shouldn't dismiss it, you guys seem to have real feelings and it's not... you know... too late...

Rhi opened her mouth but no words came out. She thought she had everything figured out in California, but the moment she saw him again, she began doubting everything. She was equally glad and scared she was seeing him this one last time, so they could give it closure. Ly knew her very well and she seemed to understand this was no regular crush.

Rhi stayed quiet for so long, Ly felt she had crossed a line and she was about to get yelled at. Luckily, that wasn't the case. Her boss smiled and spoke softly.

- Thanks, Ly, I know. That's what I went to California for... to assess everything.

- I know that now. His face was worthy of a funeral the whole time you were gone.

Rhi failed to shun away a smile. She did not know he had had a rough time too. He was the most stoic, expressionless, and cool looking person she had met in a long time.

- You don't think this is awfully unprofessional of me? - Rhi was really worried she was setting a bad example for this brilliant girl.

- No, Rhi. At the end of the day, we are all just... - She moved her hands emphatically - you know... people... I know this is an exceptional occurrence and I understand how extraordinary it is. What I wanted to tell you is, if you still want to go through with... you know, what was planned, do it, but if you're having second thoughts... do not do it.

Rhi sighed, feeling thankful and relieved.

- Thank you so much, Ly. I promise I will try to do what's right.

Her assistant smiled and walked out.

-

Paul chose a nice steak house near his building, it was big, illuminated and, he thought, not too romantic. He knew this was the night he would get his heart broken.

He was early, like the day they had had their first meal together in spring. Everything was different now. It was December, all the trees were naked, the wind blew cold, the Rockefeller lights were glowing and he had lost all hope.

Rhi arrived, he saw her give her coat, scarf and hat to the hostess. He stood up as she walked to their table, offering her cold cheek for him to kiss. One last time, what more damage could be done now?

- First things first. - She announced as they sat down, handing him some papers. - These need signing. Then we can enjoy the night...

He looked at her, wondering what her idea of enjoying the night was. They ordered drinks and Paul began reading the papers. Rhi's phone went off. Lee was making the flight reservations for their honeymoon. The wedding was on. As the mobile rang, she thought she had to answer. She made a mortified face.

- I really, really have to take this. - She whispered. 

- By all means. - He told her, smiling.

She stood up and answered, walking to the lobby. Paul signed the sheets and stared at Rhi. The walls were made of glass, so he could see her tapping her heel and speaking to God-knew-who. Maybe it was her fiancé, maybe the wedding planner. She looked adorable. 

She spoke for around ten minutes, and when she came back, she found the papers properly folded in front of her chair. 

- I'm really sorry. - She said, putting the file away without going through it again.

- No problem. 

- You're very quiet today. - She observed, eyeing him over the menu she had in her hands.

- I'm trying hard not to say the wrong thing. - He confessed.

She bit her lips.

- You never do. - She muttered, and he smirked. 

The waiter arrived and they made their orders.

- Paul. - Rhi said ceremoniously. She immediately had all his attention. - You know how I feel about you, right?

He tilted his head.

- Not really, Rhi, I'm sorry. 

She nodded. She had made a good job concealing her feelings then.

- More or less the same as you. - She said slowly.

- Soul-tearing desire mixed with guilt, frustration and an equal urge to run away with me and FROM me at the same time? - He suggested.

She laughed, hiding her face behind her hands, but affirming with her head.

- I could not have said it better. - She commented, trying not to cackle too hard.

He half-smiled, too.

- I did English in college after all. - He added.

Rhi got serious after a second and scratched the side of her head, dubiously.

- I feel like a horrible person, because I couldn't shut down these feelings inside me, but at least I could stop it before something... irremediable happened.

- You're still getting married, right? - He went to the point.

She sighed.

- Yes.

He ran his hand through his hair and looked out the glass wall into West Street.

- I understand.

- Do you, really?

- I won't utter a word to try to convince you to give up your relationship for me. He saw you first.

Rhi felt a knot in her stomach. She could feel her eyes fill with tears. He looked alarmed, but she dismissed him with a gesture, breathing deeply.

- You're a wonderful man, Paul. Any woman would be lucky to have you. I wish it were me, really. But...

- You don't need to explain yourself. I respect your decision. Maybe someday we can be friends?

- Of course. I'm your fan, remember?

They both laughed.