NINETEEN

I CONTINUE to cry while watching Vegas walking away from me. It's all my fault...it's my duty to protect the both of them but I failed to do that.

"V-vegas...I'm s-sorry..." I muttered but I know that he will not hear it anymore.

"P'Pete..." I glanced at Leo, "You should go inside...You need to take a rest, you have wounds.." He told me and I saw how his eyes looking at me sympathetically.

"It's my fault..."

Leo walked near at me, "P'Pete...we will find Khun Macau...stop crying..." He said as he caressed my back to comfort me.

If I was just hold him tighter...maybe he won't be kidnapped...this will not happened..

It's all my fault...If I could just track his location... I will go there without hesitation...

Wait? I wiped my tears and composed myself. I remember the bracelets I gave to Macau and Vegas.

I hurriedly got my phone and tried to track the location of Macau.

"Fuck!" I grunted when I saw that the location is in the mansion.

Did Macau forgot to wear that? Shit, why now!?

The only hope I have was that but, it immediately stumbled...

"Phi...let's get inside.." Leo held me in the arm and gently pulled me going to the mansion.

"I will talk to Vegas...I will explain to him.." I looked at Leo, "He will listen to me, right?"

Leo avoided my gaze, "You should take a rest, Phi..." He replied to me.

I shook my head vigorously, "No...how can I do that?" Tears started to flow again in my cheeks.

"Macau is missing...and I am responsible for that..." I uttered.

"Phi, you need to take a rest, both of you and Khun Vegas. Don't worry, tomorrow he will talk to you again." He said and opened the door of my room.

I sat down in my bed, "You can take a rest now, Phi. I will just bring you food here later." He told me before he went out.

As the door of my room closed, I roamed my eyes in my room. Vegas was not here...

Tears started to pooled in my eyes...while looking at the side of my bed where Vegas used to sleep.

How can I be so stupid and careless?

My eyes were starting to feel hurt because of too much crying but I can't stop it.

I laid in my bed and hugged the pillow that Vegas used when he's sleeping beside me.

I closed my eyes, and that's when tiredness kick in me that put me in slumber.

I HEARD a knock to my door's room, I opened my eyes and saw Leo carrying a tray...

"P'Pete, I brought you food. You can eat now." He said as he placed the tray in the side table.

I sat up, "What time is it? Where's Vegas?" I asked him.

"It's 11 in the evening and Khun Vegas already ate in his office, Phi." He replied.

"Thank you..." I said and Leo went out in my room.

I'm not hungry, I just want to see and talk to Vegas...

I stood up and fixed myself, I will go to his office because he's there. I went outside and walked my way to Vegas' office.

When I arrived in front of his office, I knocked three times before I opened the door.

I saw Vegas in his table, staring at his laptop. When he saw me, his eyes avoided my gaze, "What are you doing here, Pete?" He asked me.

"Vegas...I'm s--" My words cut when he spoke.

"Don't start with that, Pete...please.." He uttered. "I don't want to hear anything from you." His voice was cold as he speak to me.

I bit my lips, trying to stop myself from crying again, "I d-din't mean it...s-sorry, Vegas.."

"I d-did my best..to s-save Macau.." I told him, my hand gripped on my shirt because it's starting to shake...remembering how I am close to Macau but I could still not save him.

"It's that your fucking best? If you did your best, why you could not save my brother!? Is that your all, Pete!?" His voice raised. He gazed at me, I saw how his eyes full of hatred and pain.

"You p-promised me...You fucking promise me that you will protect Macau.. Am I wrong to trust you?" He said to me.

"V-vegas.." My voice cracked, unable to continue what I going to say because his words were like daggers that stabbed directly in my heart.

"Get out, Pete." He ordered and I couldn't do anything but to followed that.

As I went out in his office and closed the door, I heard Vegas' frustrated shouts and threw things.

I stopped and listen to his yells, "I'm sorry, Vegas..." I muttered and wiped the tears in my face.

"I will find Macau.. I will bring back Macau to us..." I silently promised to myself and went back to my room.

Leo's right. It is not the right time to talk to Vegas. But, I was stubborn and looked, I was hurting hearing him said those words to me..

I OPENED my eyes from deep slumber, and I sighed when I saw that there's still no Vegas in my bed.

It's been five days and we still not have any clues to Macau's whereabouts. And Vegas was still not talking to me, whenever I will try to talk to him..he's going to avoid or he will ignored me.

I know that we are not okay because of what happened but I will not still going to give up or leave him..

I love Vegas, if he will not fight for us right now...I am the one who will do it.

"I miss you, love.." I whispered and caressed the space where he's sleeping before.

I missed Vegas. After five days being alone, I missed his goodnight and morning kisses. I missed how I stared at him whenever he was sleeping. I miss how he would give me a warm hug and tell me to cuddle.

I really miss Vegas.

I sighed and stood up. I did my morning routine so I will continue to help the other bodyguards to search for Macau.

When I am done, I went outside and walked to the room where the bodyguards were.

"Good morning, P'Pete." They greeted me.

I smiled to them and sat in my table, "Leo, where's Vegas?" I asked him while observing the footage of the streets' CTTV.

"In his office, I brought him food before I went here, Phi." Leo answered.

I gave him a smile, "Thank you." I muttered and continue to look for that fucking van who took Macau.

This is my everyday routine for the past five days, waking up, remembering Vegas, do my morning rituals, searching for Macau, asking about Vegas...

Right now, that's thing I could only do because Vegas don't want to talk nor see me...

I smiled sadly when I remembered our last interaction. I know that he's hurting because of Macau and I understand that.

I am just hoping that everything will go back, his love and trust for me will go back. Because, if not, I don't know what I am going to do if I will lose Vegas too.

Afternoon came, I released a frustrated sigh when I still couldn't find anything about Macau's abductor.

"Phi, it's time to have lunch. Take a break, let's eat in our quarter." Leo said while standing beside my table.

"I'm okay. You can eat now, I'll be the one who will just check the other footages." I smiled to him.

"Phi.." I cut Leo's words.

"I'm fine, Leo. I'm not hungry." I answered him.

He just nodded at me and gently bowed his head and left the room along with the other bodyguards.

I stopped and sighed heavily, "Where are you Macau?" I mumbled to myself as if Macau can hear it.

I massaged my forehead and stared blankly at the footages playing in my laptop.

I don't know what to do anymore, I feel so exhausted because of the past events happened to the mansion. But, I will not stop hoping that we can find Macau and save him.

Whoever those fuckers, I will kill them without mercy.

I was startled when the door opened and it revealed the man that I've been missing for the five days, "Leo, look for this loc--" He stopped when he saw that I am alone here.

I sat straight, "Vegas.." I uttered while looking at him. I want to cry and ran to hug him tightly.

I miss him.. I stood up and about to walk near at him when he turned his back at me and went outside the room.

I quickly followed him and when I saw him walking on the way to his office, I ran and held his arm.

Vegas stopped but still he didn't turned around at me, "V-vegas..please, t-talk to me.." I said and held him tighter.

He did not respond, "Vegas...please, talk to me...It's been a five days..." I uttered.

"I m-miss you, love...Would you talk to me again?" I asked him, hoping that he will talk.

My grip started loosen up when he remain unresponsive.. I was about to let go his hand when he spoke.

"How could I?" He turned around and looked at me, "How could I talk to you, that whenever I see you...I am hurting and remembering that it's your fault why my brother is missing.." He continued.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered.

"Does your sorry will bring back my brother?" He fired back. He released his hand from my grip.

"Answer me! Because, I am tired listening to your sorry, Pete." He said with gritted teeth. I felt how he's controlling his feelings.

"N-no.. But, I will s-search for him, Vegas... Trust me." I said and looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Trust you!?" He scoffed.

My eyes widen, "Do you not trust me, Vegas?" I asked him.

"How could I trust you when the people in my surroundings keep disappointing me!? Uncle Korn, my mother, my father, the fucking investors, the bodyguards, and you! You all disappointed me and I regret trusting all of you!" He said and turned his back at me.

My tears immediately streamed in my cheeks, "Vegas, I understand..but please, l-let me help you..." I mumbled.

"I don't need your help." He said and continue to walk, but he stopped again, "You can go back to the main family. Your work here is done."

When I heard that, my world literally collapsed. I hurriedly ran to him and hugged him, "N-no..n-no, V-vegas. Y-you didn't m-mean it r-right?" I said.

My lips was shivering, and my tears continously streaming down in my face.

"I d-don't want to g-go. I know that y-you need me.. I promise, I w-will help you. Just d-don't cut me off, V-vegas.." I cried and hugged him tighter.

No, please. I can't...I can't let him go.

He held my hands, "Just go back there, Pete. I don't want to see you here anymore."

"V-vegas, don't do this...please... I can't do that." I buried my face on his back.

"You can do anything. It's okay if you will i-ignore me again, just p-please.. let me stay by y-your side." I muttered while hugging him tightly, afraid to let him go.

"No, go back to Uncle Korn. You are done here. I am done with you." He said as if he doesn't care if his words would hurt me.

I shook my head, disagreeing to him. "What do y-you want V-vegas? You w-want me to k-kneel?" I slowly kneeled  and hugged his waist.

"I l-love you, V-vegas.. I w-will not rest just to find M-macau... Just don't d-do this, please. I c-can't.." I uttered while the tears keep flowing in my cheeks.

I don't care if I looked like I am begging him to take me back, I will do anything to change his decision.

Vegas held my hands again, but this time, he removed it, "Don't make me repeat my words again, Pete. Go back to the main family. Live your life just like before, a life without me." He sternly said and walked away from me.

"Vegas! Vegas!" I called him, hoping that he would turned around and hug me. But, I was wrong, he didn't looked back as if he really want me out of his life.

I clutched my chest, because of too much pain I am feeling right now. How could I live my life again...when the day I met him and accepted that I love him, he became my life..

My head hurts because I couldn't grasp what's happening. Macau's missing, Vegas ignoring me and then now...he wanted me out of his life.

I tried to stood up but my senses felt weak and the last thing I saw was Leo and Cad running at me before I collapsed.