😔 soft shidou (kinda angsty????? idk) 😔

Shidou rarely gets quiet.

He's the type to laugh too loud, kiss too aggressively, fill a room with energy like it's oxygen. Chaos is his love language. Confidence his armor.

But tonight?

He's... still.

Curled on the edge of the couch, hoodie sleeves pulled over his hands, staring at nothing. Hair messy, voice small. Almost unrecognizable.

Sae notices immediately.

He always does.

He pretends not to look for a second—lets Shidou think he has privacy—but his body shifts closer anyway.

Shidou doesn't move. Doesn't joke. Doesn't say something outrageous.

Just tiny breath, shaky and quiet:

"Do you ever think you could've done better than me?"

Sae freezes.

That's not a Shidou question. Not his voice. Not his fire.

Sae sits next to him, slow, controlled.

"What are you talking about."

Shidou laughs, but it's empty, brittle.

"I mean, look at you. Stoic, genius, perfect soccer prince. And then there's me. Loud, messy, crazy bastard who breaks things and... people."

He swallows, jaw tight.

"I don't even know why you put up with me sometimes."

Sae hates that tone. He hates it like it personally offended his entire bloodline.

He turns Shidou's face toward him with a firm hand, thumb brushing Shidou's cheek in a rare, gentle touch.

Shidou tries to look away. Sae doesn't let him.

"Ryusei."

Only Sae uses his real first name like that. It hits hard. It always does.

Shidou's breath stutters.

Sae's voice drops—quiet, certain, cutting through every ugly doubt like a blade:

"I don't put up with you. I choose you."

Shidou's throat bobs. He blinks fast—too fast.

Sae continues, fingers carding through Shidou's hair, slow and grounding:

"You're loud. And reckless. And annoying."

A pause. His eyes soften.

"And you care harder than anyone I've ever met."

Shidou's lips tremble.

Sae hates this. Hates seeing him like this. So he leans forward and presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes.

"You think I want... quiet?" Sae murmurs. "Some perfect little trophy who sits still and looks pretty?"

Shidou barely whispers:

"You kinda already have one."

Sae almost smiles. Almost.

"I don't want that."

He tilts Shidou's chin up, thumb brushing under his eye.

"I want you."

Shidou's breath shudders, finally breaking.

"But—"

"No." Sae cuts him off gently. "There's no 'but.' You're mine because you're you."

Then he pulls Shidou in, arms tight around him—like he's protecting something fragile, something precious.

Shidou melts into him instantly, clinging fistfuls of Sae's shirt like he's drowning and Sae is air.

His voice is tiny against Sae's chest:

"Sometimes I just... feel like I'm too much."

Sae presses his lips to the crown of Shidou's head.

"You're exactly enough."

Shidou sniffles. Actually sniffles.

"Don't say it like that, I'll fall in love with you harder."

"That's the point," Sae answers without hesitation.

Shidou laughs wetly, face buried in Sae's shoulder.

Sae pulls back just enough to look at him, brushing his thumbs under Shidou's eyes, wiping the beginnings of tears.

"I don't need better," Sae says softly. "I need you. Loud and ridiculous and irritating and alive."

Shidou stares at him—wide-eyed, vulnerable, undone.

"...Sae?"

"Yeah?"

"...Say it again."

Sae rests his forehead against Shidou's, voice low and sure:

"I choose you."

Shidou throws himself into Sae's chest again, hugging like he never wants to let go.

This time, Sae hugs back just as hard.

Later

They end up tangled on the couch, blanket half over them.

Shidou falls asleep on Sae's lap, breathing even and peaceful again, fingers curled in Sae's hoodie like a lifeline.

Sae strokes his hair absentmindedly, staring at him with that rare, soft look reserved only for Shidou.

Quiet, barely audible:

"You're not allowed to doubt yourself again."

A pause. Sae's ears turn red, but he says it anyway:

"...I love you too much for that."

Shidou smiles in his sleep.

And Sae stays awake a little longer, guarding him from the world like it's the easiest thing he's ever done.

art credit: https://www.tumblr.com/love---mandy/795736804403904513/the-starting-thought-was-clingy-shidou-feel-like