2

Ding!

The elevators doors glided open, and the transition from my home to my place of employment for the last four years was complete. My trusty secretary at Bibigo, the Korean food brand company, was immediately there to greet me.

"Na Heedo. Here we go," I said, ready for business as I turned left into the hallway. "Walk and talk."

"Good morning, Mr. Kim," she said in her way-too-chipper-for-the-morning voice. "Here's the report on the new line of bulgogi dumplings. The numbers look good. And here's your coffee."

I took the disposable cup while on the move toward my office. "Don't forget to reserve next week's company dinner at Gaja for six at six." Raising the steaming beverage to my lips, I took a sip, twisted my face, and proclaimed, "Ooh, that's hot." Glancing down, I noticed Heedo grimace at her mistake as she typed something into her tablet. "And for the love of God can we make sure Kwon Jiyoung is not seated next to me? His breath is so horrendous I can practically see the green hue escape him when he talks about himself."

"Yes, Mr. Kim," she said as we arrived and entered my small private office.

I tossed the papers on my natural maple desk, placed my coffee cup down away from my computer, and removed my jacket to hang on a coat rack by the large, picturesque window overlooking the business district of Seoul twenty floors down. Making myself comfortable, I took a seat in my ergonomic chair and checked my laptop for an update on today's schedule.

"No, no, no. I said I wanted twelve bags of tea not twelve bags of cars! Why would I want-" I cut myself off, gritting through my teeth, trying not to start the day on the wrong foot.

"I'll fix it, Mr. Kim," Heedo said, bowing slightly in an apology.

I took a deep breath and folded my hands on the desk in front of me, regaining my composure. "Thank you. I- I'm just a little stressed right now. As you know, the CEO of KIA is DOA which means they're going to snip the merger like it's a German Shepherd. I was really hoping it would go through."

After another minute of our morning rundown, I dismissed my secretary and sank back into my chair. The date on the computer screen glared at me like an emotional trigger, evoking a negative memory for the second time that day. Studying the default desktop background of a green meadow, I remembered how the wallpaper used to be of me and her on the beach, the sun setting behind us in glorious hues of orange and yellow. Then I let my eyes pan over to the empty space on my desk where a picture frame of us in front of our favorite hiking spot used to sit.

Now I hiked alone and any photos of her had been removed, including the ones on my social media. Not only was work making me anxious as I desperately tried to climb the corporate ladder of this company, but today's date was personally a day I would have liked to forget.

By the time five o'clock rolled around, I had actually been productive for eight hours and felt satisfied with my work. But when Hyunjin texted to meet me in the lobby like we usually did after a long work week, I contemplated my answer. After a moment of rummaging through the memories that today brought, I reluctantly declined.

Five minutes later as I was just about to lock up, Hyunjin fake-tripped through my doorway, his heavy feet stumbling to catch himself and stood upright with a mock-look of surprise.

"Imagine if I just fell flat on my face," he joked with a hearty laugh. "How was your day, bro? Why you gotta diss me tonight? It's Friday."

His jokey entrances always put a smile on my face and his hand on my shoulder was comforting but I stubbornly didn't let that lighten my mood.

"You know what today is," I huffed sullenly as I grabbed my phone and stuffed it in my pocket.

Hyunjin furrowed his brows and followed me out the door. "Did I miss your birthday?"

I didn't answer, knowing he wasn't serious, the soft thuds of our hard-soled leather shoes filling the silence down the hallway. Once inside the elevator, my friend turned to me with wide-eyes. "An anniversary?"

My stare concentrated on the panel of numbers by the door and I didn't move. "Today was the anniversary of our first date," I mumbled, my expression pained.

"And?" Even without looking up I could tell he was annoyed and unconvinced. "Shin Hari is so in the past. It's time to move one. Let's go out tonight. Get yourself out there again, man!"

It was my turn to be incredulous as I scrunched up my face in annoyance at him. "You know, most men who get rejected when they propose to their girlfriend are not expected to get out there so soon."

"It's been eight months. Time to dust off the cobwebs. I know it's been a hard summer...and autumn..."

"And it's gonna be a long winter," I declared, bugging my eyes out for emphasis.

"Doesn't have to be," he scoffed. "Dude, when's the last time you got any action?"

"A strong case could be made for 2024," I sighed, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "The year I lost my dignity and mojo."

"Oh, a two-fer!"

The doors flew open on the ground floor, my mind calculating how fast I could get a taxi and arrive at the comfort of my high-rise apartment. "Which is exactly why I just wanna go home and drown my sorrows in a bowl of French onion soup and a good action-thriller movie."

Hyunjin shook his head at me as we walked though the lobby. "Can't let you do that as your best friend. We are putting an end to this dry season and hello to a moist year."

We stopped in our tracks right before the huge glass doors to the outside, and side-eyed each other. "No," I cringed at his choice of words. "That doesn't work at all."

He pouted his lips. "It's awful, I know. But today of all days we have to go out. You pick the place. Statistically, we could find your next girlfriend."

"Statistically, she could be just like my ex."

"I like those odds," he quipped with a raise of his brows.

We shared a chuckle as we exited the company building, my mind still planning to depart from him once outside.

"Kim Taehyung!" A shrill of a voice called from behind me, a familiar female co-worker named Yurim approaching us.

"Ugh," I grimaced under my breath. "She's going to invite us to the bar again."

"Just tell her no," Hyunjin mumbled just as quietly.

"Maybe I should go. Looks good for the boss. I don't think he likes me. I'm afraid he's going to ship me off to the office in Tokyo or something."

"You've been clean and sober for months, don't waste all that hard work."

"Hi, Yurim!" my co-worker and I greeted in unison, fake tones in our voices that we were happy to see her.

"Hi, guys! Everyone on the floor is going to Bar Cham for happy hour. Interested? Come on, Taehyung, you never join us," Yurim complained.

Hyunjin nudged my elbow, encouraging me to explain to her why I didn't want to go to a bar. Why I hadn't gone in months. Right in front of me, I felt like I had two options...go home in solitude or go out where I would be surrounded by people drinking.

Yet something my friend had said earlier did strike a nerve. Could there be a third option? If I were ever going to get over my ex, could I start now? Should I start now?

Eight months. Eight months of wondering where I went wrong. I mean, Hari had told me she was too young and wanted to concentrate on her acting/modeling career. So this past year I had kicked myself for not seeing the signs sooner and living in la-la land. I had thrown myself into my work and hobbies yet neglected some areas of my personal life like mental health. When I thought about movies where the main character gets dumped and goes through a grieving period, I shuddered at the thought of me wasting away in a messy apartment, take out containers littering the tables, trash overflowing, and a pile of dirty dishes in the sink as I wallowed in self-pity.

I didn't want to be that guy.

Fully facing Yurim, I gave her a pleasant smile ready to decline. "Sorry. Me and Hyunjin have plans. But have a good weekend."

Yurim's eyes darted between the two of us in confusion before she backtracked and joined a group from our floor waiting for a taxi. I felt Hyunjin's arm guide me in the opposite way.

"Where we going?"

I paused. Perhaps a certain place could brighten my cloudy day. "Cafe Selmarie," I responded without hesitation.

~~~~~~~

It had been a couple weeks since we had dinner there and I felt compelled to visit again. Someone had recommended the place last month for their exquisite French desserts and I had been looking for something quaint and cozy after so many meals at fancy restaurants. Not only was the food good there, but something else made me gravitate to the cafe and request we sit at the corner bistro table in her section.

Searching the dining area, my eyes roamed from one waiter to another waitress until - there she was!

My brows rose when I found her and I straightened up in my seat. Her smile was the first thing about her that had caught my attention the other time here, currently spreading wide across her face as she took in my caught-in-the-headlights expression.

"There you are!" Jennie exclaimed, as if she was searching for me too.

Her cat-like eyes were warm, full of amusement, and the little dance she did to show her happiness was endearing. Her hair fell perfectly down her back, her lips looked kissable, her heart-shaped face was so cute, and she smelled amazing.

"I- I mean," her cheeks reddening, "May I take your order?"

We made eye contact and held it, our gaze lingering, deepening the growing connection from our third time seeing each other. I decided to play with her like I did before, make me stand out from her usual customers. "Do you have eggs and toast?"

"Yes, of course," she responded, almost rolling her eyes at my antics.

"No, no. Not like that. It's a new trend in the food world where you put the eggs in the toast. You make a small hole in the bread and crack the egg into the hole and fry it," I continued with a straight face.

"That's a toad-in-the-hole. It's not on the menu Kim Taehyung," she reprimanded in a cute way.

My insides felt warm as she matched my vibe. "Ask the cook if he can make that for me. And make sure the eggs are cooked where the whites are on the outside and the yellow circle is in the middle."

"Actually, that's what all fried eggs look like."

"Actually, no, they don't." My eyes narrowed as I stared at her attractiveness, wishing we could continue this banter all day.

"Do you order like this at every restaurant?" Jennie finally asked. "Or are you just messing with me?"

I laughed at her teasing tone, my cheeks widening into a gleeful grin. "You caught me."

She smiled back at me, her arms crossed but the easy way we connected helped to calm me down just a bit more and give me a boost of confidence.

"You're so funny," Jennie said, which just made my day.

"You should bring up this new egg dish idea at the next meeting at Bibigo," Hyunjin piped up, in a jokey way.

"Ah...you two work there?" We nodded. "That explains why you're food snob - er, I mean, well versed in the culinary arts," she chided.

"Yeah, not snobbish at all," I grinned, lowering my voice.

Jennie averted her stare, her head down to the notepad in her hand, touched her neck then suddenly remembered her job was to write my order down. I found myself mesmerized by the way her dainty hand moved, her perfectly manicured red nails pleasing to look at. Finally she bowed after repeating our order and informed us that the food would be done in twenty minutes.

"That's why we keep coming back here?" Hyunjin asked, leaning back in his chair. "Not for the French apple tart?"

"Well, that too," I mumbled.

"You really like her?"

"She's pretty. And friendly. So far the chemistry is there."

"Of course. She's a waitress who works for tips," Hyunjin scoffed. "But...she is cute. Ask her out."

"It's not that easy. I'm not ready."

"I'll help you. Be your wingman if you will."

Minutes later Jennie's voice was heard before she was seen, appearing to place our dishes in front of us. "Auntie, I'm sorry, but I'm not wearing a mask. They don't work," she shouted behind her. To us, she announced each dish and added with a smile, "Anything else I can get you?"

"Jennie..." Hyunjin started, peering at the nametag over her chest. "Jennie...?"

"Oh, Jennie Kim," she shared, eyes bright divulging this new information.

"Jennie Kim, forgive me for being so forward," he said, focused entirely on her. I took a sip of my Coke and waited with bated breath how my friend planned to help me out. "Are you my appendix?"

"W-what?" she asked, brows creased.

"Because I don't know how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me wanna take you out," he flirted with a smoldering look.

I did a spit take, quickly reaching for my napkin while Jennie let out a sharp guffaw. "Ooh, I almost want to give you points for that one!" she retorted.

Once she was out of sight, I gave Hyunjin a "seriously?" look. "Did you make that up just for her?"

He ignored my question. "That line is gonna make whatever you say next look pretty good."

I gave him a dampened smile, impressed by his idea. "But...I don't know. I've been out of the game for so long. It feels...odd."

"Give it a shot. What have you got to lose? If anything, this is good practice for when we really go out and meet women."

Honestly, this girl could possibly be the last one I'll ever ask out. I liked Jennie's positive energy and vibe and how she carried herself with confidence. Her pleasant voice and joyful laugh were magnetic.

Or like Hyunjin said, she could be a test run. Maybe she would be great and maybe a potential relationship with her was only going to be fun for a while.

I sighed heavily, my shoulders hunching. "What's the point if it ends in heartache again?"

This time Hyunjin sighed deeply and rolled his eyes. "What I'm saying is that practically nothing is at stake. If she accepts or rejects you, in another four months or so, you'll be single again. In fact..." He lowered his head to check something on his phone. "Hmm...no sign of a boyfriend on social media...hey! She liked one of your posts."

"She's not off the hook yet."

Hyunjin put his phone away. "Anyways, this experience will help you understand what people see in you, what you want in other people, and how the whole dating process goes. You'll know what to expect, and not feel as terrified of trying, since you've done it all before."

I had to hand it to my younger friend. Sometimes he amazed me and acted wise beyond his years. "What if the terrifying thing is that I thought Hari was the one? And I make the same mistake again?"

"Dude! If you don't ask Jennie out, you won't have the experience and confidence to really woo and enjoy when the right girl comes along. You may not even know what kind of girl is right for you. So jump in and take a risk. Now, when you're young. It's much harder to date when you're forty."

The corners of my lips turned up, acknowledging the wisdom of his words, even though at the age of twenty-six there was no reason to think the world was ending if I didn't find a mate.

Yet, there was still a nagging thought in the back of my mind. I dug into my toad-in-the-hole, popping the yolk to let it run across the plate and pondered the possibility of diving into the dating game again. When I sensed a figure walking past the table, I looked up to face Jennie. She paused gracefully, her footsteps softening into silence when she caught me staring.

Baby steps.

"Jennie...you...you look like the kind of woman who knows how to fold a fitted sheet."

"I do! Thanks for the compliment."

"I mean..." My nerves tingled as awe transformed my face. "I don't know which is prettier today...the weather or your eyes."

I followed her glance out the window behind me and we shared a laugh at the dark clouds in the sky, the cold afternoon on this day in early February not exactly matching my attempt at a pick up line.

"How do you feel about that one? Pretty good?" Jennie asked in a light-hearted smug way.

Was she playing hard to get? Or was I failing miserably? Either way, when she hurried off to attend to a customer that was waving her down, I felt confident that I had at least planted a seed in her mind.

"Bro! What was that?" Hyunjin asked in between bites of his quiche.

I dipped some bread into the runny yolk on my plate and responded with assurance, "Timing, my friend. It's all in the timing."

~~~~~~~

The following Friday, Hyunjin and I visited Cafe Selmarie, but to my dismay, when we were seated in your section, it was a different waiter who approached our table.

"Hello, I'm Jisung. I'll be your waiter today," he introduced himself.

"Where's Jennie?" I asked immediately, instantly regretting how desperate that might have sounded.

Jisung's eyes went round. "Oh? She had tickets to the LG Twins game so she asked for the day off."

"Ah...I see. Did she go alone?" I chewed on my bottom lip, catching a look from Hyunjin knowing where I was going with this. "Did she go with her...boyfriend?"

Our waiter let out a chortle and shook his head. "Jennie is single. And ready to mingle!"

That should have put my mind at ease but I still had a hard time reconciling that it was time for me to put myself out there and take the risk, as Hyunjin put it. Fear of rejection and disappointment certainly hindered any further action. Not to say that I couldn't practice the art of flirting.

Plus, there was something else I wasn't sure about. "Jisung, we are having a hard time figuring out what to have for dinner. And we were wondering if you could help us."

"Sure, that's what I'm here for!" Jisung said, lilt in his voice.

I caught Hyunjin's knowing look and continued. "Do you think we should have the steak or the asparagus and pasta salad?"

Jisung looked up at the ceiling then back at us. "I guess you could have a bit of both. They're both excellent."

My friend and I slowly panned over to stare at each other with a slight grimace. "And what should we have to drink?" Hyunjin asked, playing along.

"Oh...maybe a beer. Or a glass of white wine is nice I find," Jisung replied with a tilt of his head.

Having my suspicions still, I gave our waiter the side-eye, remembering how often I had seen him and Jennie always so close, talking so comfortably, secretly snickering from inside jokes. I just had to know.

"Uh, no. I'm not gay," Jisung deadpanned.

I aggressively shrugged my shoulder at him. "So? Who cares?" I feigned lack of interest.

"Just for the record," Jisung told us before he turned to help another table. "Jennie and I are really close because our families are super close. We, like, grew up together. And even though she's a cute little thing, you can have her all to yourself."

I curled my lips, caught in my need for more information. Well, that settled the question if I had any competition with Jisung.

~~~~~~~

The next time I saw Jennie at the cafe, by myself since Hyunjin had other plans, I teased her about her absence. "A baseball game? How can you enjoy a boring sport like that?"

She scoffed, one hand on her hip, one leg bent as she stood by my usual table. "What are you talking about? It's the perfect blend of athleticism, strategy, and intelligence."

I leaned closer to her. "Athleticism? The players hardly move from their positions."

"It is physical. What makes it so interesting is that it's mental too. Ninety percent mental and the other half physical," she quipped with a chuckle.

"Oh..." I dismissed her comment with a wave of my hand and turned in my chair to cross my leg over the other, fully facing her. "When I watch a sport, I don't want to think. Just watch the players play."

Jennie waved her pen at me and asked, "So what sport do you like to watch?"

"Soccer."

She leaned back and brought her hand to her mouth like a makeshift megaphone. "Boring!" Shaking her head, she stuck her pen behind her ear and put away her little notepad. "You think baseball is boring? For ninety minutes, soccer players just run around, play with the ball, and hardly score. And you know what really gets me?"

Her brows furrowed and her hands went up in frustration before slamming on the table. I tilted my head at her, watching the show as she continued. "Games end up in a tie! How can you not have a winner?! What's the point of playing? Baseball, on the other hand, is like life. We all have our own individual innings, and it's up to us to make the most of our at-bats. Whether we strike out, walk, hit a single or home run, all the decisions we make in life affect the outcome of the game."

I actually enjoyed Jennie ranting and raving about her favorite sport passionately, and putting down soccer with just as much fervor. Studying her expressions, the animated way she explained herself, I could watch her all day. Her confidence and strong sense of self, not budging yet standing her ground with me, was attractive.

"Well, to each his own. I still say I'd rather eat glass than watch baseball. And soccer is the number one sport in the world, " I argued, puffing up my shoulders.

The whole time I sat there enjoying my food, I couldn't take my eyes off her as she worked, her shining dark hair falling over her white shirt, her cute short black uniform skirt showing off her milky thighs. Later after finishing my meal, I complimented her on the dessert as usual, this time a crepe Suzette.

"That was exactly what I needed after that meal. I can tell you really put your heart into creating all the desserts."

She turned crimson and tittered. "Jisung is probably wondering why I'm blushing right now. That's like the best compliment for someone who bakes."

"Hey, it's true," I simpered.

Moments later, Jennie returned to pick up the check. "Taehyung..."

The sound of my name rolling off her lips, the way she greeted me by name every time I dined here, was music to my ears.

"...you don't have to tip like this every time," she continued.

I stood up and pulled my jacket on, relishing the way I towered over her. "Consider it an apology for dissing your favorite sport."

She pursed her lips together. "So I should get into more arguments with you? Mr. Big Tipper?"

The way her eyelashes batted at me did not go unnoticed and it made my pulse quicken. "I'm just expressing my appreciation for good service. Thank you, Jennie."

"Thank you...Mr. Big...Big Guy!" she said, as she started to clear the table.

I froze mid-step on my way to the door. That nickname. It did something to me. And that night, as I fell asleep, I couldn't help it. I thought about Jennie.

But in my slumber I dreamt about my ex instead. Hari's face appeared as if haunting my dreams. The emotions I had bottled up resurfaced. I felt cold and stuck. And Hari was the reason. I wondered if I would ever feel again. Her rejection made me wonder if I would I ever heal again.

Because even though she made me fall in love, even though she made me sick to my stomach, even though she caused me so much pain - I thought she was the one.