forty eight

"ever since you walked in, it's starting to feel like you might save my life." -save my life, niall horan.

——

she sat on the floor beside his hospital bed, her back pressed against the metal frame. the room was dim, quiet except for the soft beeping of the monitor and the hum of the air conditioner.

her fingers were wrapped tightly around his hand—cold, still, unresponsive.

"you scared me," she whispered, voice trembling. "you don't even know what that call did to me, jihoon."

her thumb brushed over his knuckles as a tear slid down her cheek.

"when wonwoo called... i thought it was over. i thought you left me again. i couldn't breathe, i—" her voice cracked, and she had to stop, pressing her lips together to keep from sobbing too loud.

she leaned her forehead against the side of the bed, eyes shut tight. "it's not fair. i just got you back. i just started feeling like i could breathe again... and then you do this."

her grip on his hand tightened. "you promised you'd take care of yourself," she whispered, a shaky laugh breaking through her tears. "you liar."

she lifted her head slightly, looking at him—his face pale but peaceful, lips slightly parted, his chest rising and falling slowly.

"i love you, you idiot," she whispered, voice breaking again. "so much it hurts sometimes. and i trust you—i do. i know you wouldn't ever leave me on purpose."

she sniffled, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "but jihoonie, baby, i need you to wake up. please. i need you to open your eyes and tell me you're okay. yell at me, tease me, anything— just don't stay like this."

her tears fell freely now, dripping onto the blanket. she pressed his hand to her lips. "please, jihoon. you're all i want. i don't care about anything else. just... wake up. i need you to tell me i'm not dreaming again."

for a moment, there was nothing—only the steady rhythm of the monitor.

and then she felt it.

a small, almost imperceptible movement.

his fingers twitched against her palm.

her breath caught. "jihoon?" she whispered, eyes wide.

his hand squeezed hers—weakly, but enough.

she gasped, stumbling to her feet. "jihoon— oh my god— are you awake?"

his eyelids fluttered, slow and heavy, before his eyes finally opened.

"...misun?" his voice was raspy, barely above a whisper.

she let out a sob, covering her mouth with her free hand. "oh my god, you're awake," she cried, her tears falling faster now.

he blinked, confused, trying to focus on her face. "hey... why are you crying?"

she laughed through the tears, shaking her head. "because you scared me, you idiot!"

he tried to smile, his thumb brushing weakly against her skin. "i'm sorry i scared you, sunshine."

"you passed out, jihoon," she said softly, looking at him through tear-filled eyes. "you haven't been sleeping. you've been taking care of everyone but yourself. and now you scared me half to death."

he sighed faintly, eyes heavy. "i'm sorry."

"don't be sorry," she whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. "just... promise me you'll stop doing this to yourself. promise me you'll rest. that you'll stay here with me."

his hand lifted slowly, clumsy and weak, brushing against her cheek. "i'll stay," he murmured. "i promise."

her tears spilled again, and she leaned down, pressing her lips to his forehead. "you better keep it," she whispered, voice shaking. "because i can't do this again. i can't lose you."

he smiled faintly, his eyes slipping shut again, but his hand never let go of hers.

"i'm right here," he whispered, just before drifting off.

she stayed there beside him, holding his hand against her chest, whispering through her tears, "please stay."