twenty eight

"i should have loved you better." -loved you better, jonas brothers & dean lewis.

——

joshua listened quietly as jihoon spoke—every word tangled, broken, heavy with regret. the room was dim, the only light coming from the lamp beside the couch, casting soft shadows across jihoon's face.

jihoon's voice cracked halfway through his sentence. "i begged her, hyung. i was on my knees, crying, and she just... she told me to leave."

joshua sat beside him, his expression calm but full of concern. "you've both been through a lot, woozi. you can't expect her to just forget everything overnight."

jihoon ran a trembling hand through his hair. "but i love her. i never stopped. i thought if she could just see that, if she could just feel that—"

"love isn't always enough," joshua said softly. "not after the kind of pain you caused. she needs to believe that she won't go through it again. and that's not something you can fix with words."

jihoon looked down, his hands gripping each other tightly. "then what do i do?"

joshua leaned back, exhaling slowly. "you give her time. you let her breathe. she's scared, woozi. and you can't chase her while she's trying to protect herself."

"but what if she decides she doesn't want me back?" jihoon whispered.

joshua gave him a small, sad smile. "then you'll have to accept that. but at least she'll know that you were sincere this time. that you didn't walk away again."

jihoon's chest ached as he nodded slowly, tears still sitting in his eyes. "i just want to make it right. i want her to know i'm not the same person i was back then."

"then show her," joshua said. "not by chasing her. by proving it. through how you live, how you act, how you treat her from now on—even if she's not ready to let you in."

jihoon looked at him, quiet for a long time, before whispering, "thank you."

joshua placed a hand on his shoulder, firm but kind. "you'll be okay, woozi. you just need to give her what she's been needing all this time—honesty and space."

jihoon nodded, though his heart felt heavy, the image of misun's tear-streaked face burned into his mind.

the next morning, sunlight streamed through the kitchen window, spilling over the table where misun sat with her mother. her eyes were red, puffy, her voice soft and small.

her mother set down a cup of tea in front of her and sat across the table. "you don't have to say anything," she said gently. "but i'm here if you want to talk."

misun stayed quiet for a long time, her fingers tracing the rim of the cup. and then, in a trembling voice, she whispered, "i love him, mom."

her mother's eyes softened. "i know."

"i never stopped," misun continued, her voice cracking. "i tried to move on. i told myself i did. but seeing him again— hearing him say those things— it's like everything came back."

a tear slid down her cheek, and she brushed it away quickly. "but how am i supposed to trust him again? how do i know he won't just disappear one day and leave me broken all over again?"

her mother reached over and took her hand. "you don't," she said softly. "you can't know that. but you can choose what you're willing to risk. love will always be a risk, misun."

misun swallowed hard, her voice barely audible. "i'm so scared."

"i know you are," her mother whispered. "but you're stronger now. and no matter what happens, you'll survive it. you already did once."

misun's tears fell silently as she nodded, her mother's thumb brushing over her hand.

"take your time," her mother said gently. "don't rush to forgive him just because you miss him. when, and if, you're ready, you'll know."

misun looked down at her tea, her reflection blurred by the ripples.

"i don't even know if i want him gone," she said quietly. "i just... don't know what to do anymore."

her mother squeezed her hand. "then don't decide now. just feel. that's enough for today."