Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Two"How do you feel about skinny-dipping?" The question practically makes my head spin. She cannot be serious! I've never swam in the beach water, let alone naked. The thought makes my stomach churn. "I've never been," I say awkwardly. "I haven't even been to a beach before I went with you. To swim in the water? That can't be sanitary.""Harry, are you telling me that everyone who swims in the water is just swimming in pollution?" "Yeah, but it's the pollution they put in there. That's the thing about humans, they dump everything in the ocean." "Don't tell me you're going to give me a whole 'Go Green!' speech." Veronica crosses her arms and glares at me. "Because there's an environmental club at school for that." I groan and put my hand on the back of my neck. "I just don't feel comfortable with getting in the water naked." "Suit yourself, I'm going in." She turns and walks towards the water, calling over her shoulder, "You're welcomed to join, but if not, you can just watch." She kicks off her shoes and winks at me. I internally battle with myself and watch as Veronica pulls off her shirt, her back to me. I stare at the arch of her back as she raises her arms up, dropping the shirt to the ground. I can't make myself move forward. Veronica takes her pants off next, revealing black thong. I knew she was bad, but damn, how does anyone wear that? "Harry, I can feel you staring at me," she glances over her shoulder at me. Even with the good fifteen feet of distance between us, I can see the way her eyes lower to mine, a flirty smirk on her face. I try really hard not to stare at her perfect ass. "I just...uh," I can't even think. Veronica removes her bra, dropping it to the pile of clothes and then steps out of the thong, leaving it as well with the clothes. My mouth gapes at her bare body as she walks to the water, her brown hair blowing behind her. "Watch my clothes, yeah?" She calls out before getting in the water. I swallow back the lump in my throat and go to her pile of clothes. I want to get in the water but I'm not confident enough in myself. My body isn't perfect like hers. I'm too ashamed in myself and prefer having her see me in clothes that give her a reason to say I look hot. So, I push away the thoughts of getting in the water, and take a seat by her clothes. Veronica splashes in the water, dipping beneath the surface a couple times. The moonlight above us makes her like pale and majestic even at a distance. Her brown hair is now a soaked, black curtain down her back. The water goes to her waist and she turns towards me, her arm draped across her chest, hiding herself. "The water feels amazing, Harry. Won't you come in and join me?" She asks, having to partially yell over the soft waves crashing to shore. I want to. God I want to. But I can't stand my lanky body. "I've got a good view from here," I call back. She shrugs and turns back towards the water, going further. I watch her head go under the surface before coming out again a couple seconds later. There's a small ping! noise from beside me and I see Veronica's phone screen light up from inside of her pocket. I know I probably shouldn't, but one peek can't hurt. I glance back at Veronica who's now wading further out into the ocean. Ping! The phone calls for my attention and I bite my inner cheek. What am I doing? I shake away the thoughts of invading her privacy and take her phone out. The screen reads Aiden. My hands are shaking as I read the text messages on the lock screen, not even having to open the phone. Aiden: Fuck him yet? Babe hurry up and do it. I'm tired of explaining to our friends that... The text cuts off and I look at the one below it. Aiden: A hand job? Ha didn't think marcel would let you do that so early. Fuck him already. I feel the blood drain from my face as I read the text messages. It's true. I'm only part of her little game. She's just been playing me this entire time. I can't breathe, I just don't understand. My hand buzzes with another text, the stupid ping! breaking into my thoughts. I glance down at the screen. Aiden: Finish it up tonight. I want to fuck with him tomorrow. Can't believe you convinced me to add that stupid rule. I put the phone back into her pants' pocket, my hands shaking with an emotion I can't name. I feel the urge to vomit, to throw up every touch and taste I shared with Veronica. I'm such a fool. Such a fucking fool to think she cared. I get to my feet, a task that is more difficult than I can understand. My stomach heaves and I almost throw up right then and there. Veronica is still in the water and I watch her dip beneath it, enjoying herself. She played me. I'm another X on her wall. Another guy to add to her pile. Another fool that has been Mocked. I feel the tears stinging my eyes and I wipe angrily at them, hating their existence. Why should I cry for her?! Why should I feel anything for her besides hatred?! Because I can't hate her. That's the worst part of this whole fucking thing. I've not only fallen into her trap, but I've fallen for her. I'm such an idiot. I turn away from her and walk away, feeling the pain in leaving her with each step. The need to hold her again, it's still there. The ache in my chest that makes me feel heavier. "Harry!" Her voice calls out from behind me and I make the mistake of turning towards her. She's at her clothes now, holding her white shirt in front of her body, covering it from my sight. In her other hand I see her phone, the screen lit with the text messages. "I can explain!" I try to believe that her voice cracks because she has feelings for me and that she knows she hurt me, but that doesn't make anything better. I turn away and keep walking towards my car. I've never had anyone hurt me like this before. It's always been a physical pain, brought on by fists and kicks and hatred. But this is a raw consuming pain, flamed by her little Mockery game. "Harry!" Veronica yells again, my skin tingling at the sound. I refuse to show her I need her. I get to my car and try to put the key into the lock. I can't find the slot it goes in, my tears are too blinding, my contacts not doing anything to help the cause. I feel the sob leave my body, a sound I can't stand but can't stop. Her hand is on mine suddenly and I look down at her. I can feel my lip quivering, my eyes watering. Her hair is soaked along with her clothes that she hastily threw on. Her white shirt is now translucent and I can see her black bra beneath it. She's so beautiful. I hate myself for thinking it, but can't stop. "You can't drive like this," she whispers to me. I want to hate her. I want to seriously hate her. "I don't care. I want to leave." I try the key again but she stops me, taking them out of my hand. I can't even fight her. That's how pathetic I am. "Get in the passenger seat. I will drive." Veronica opens the car door and gets in, shutting it immediately. I have half the mind to just walk home. I can't live that far from here. The car's engine starts and the window rolls down. She glares out at me, her knuckles white around the steering wheel. "Get the fuck in the car. Now," she spits. I don't know why I let her control me like this. Maybe it's because I have no other choice. And maybe it's because I truly am too stupid to do what's good for me. I get in the car, knowing the night doesn't get to end as simple as driving away from my problems.