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Chapter forty four: Recovery

Evan was getting discharged today after a week of being in the hospital, his wounds had began to heal other than his bruised ribs. I decided to be there every step of the way with his recovery; or shall I say both myself and Julie. We were getting him back to himself though he seemed so broken and empty.

I was outside having a smoke with the wind batting my face like a chaotic current. My hair now sprawled across my cheeks and forehead. Henry was bothered by this, I could tell by his lack of texts. Truthfully I wasn't sure what this meant for our future, Evan was my soul mate.

The toxic fumes from the cancer stick burned down my throat and into my lungs; easing the anxiety that weighed so heavily upon my shoulders. I enjoyed the comfort of the breeze and smoke.

Suddenly a loud cough was heard behind me which made me jump with confusion. "May I pinch one of those?"

Recognising the voice I turned to see Evan who was clearly in pain by the way he was holding himself.

"Evan you're insane. You should of asked someone to wheel you down" I scolded as my fingers gingerly grabbed one of my smokes. "You don't listen to anybody"

Evan shrugged lazily "I am Evan Peters. Some bruised ribs isn't going to stop me from having a cigarette" he took the smoke from my finger tips and placed it between his lips; I then lit it for him.

"I stand by my statement, you're insane. You're only going to hinder your recovery" I affirmed with a roll of my eyes.

"I'm already recovered. You and my mom are too dramatic, Jesus" he whined like a child, the smoke flowing from his lips as he exhaled.

"Hmm bruised ribs doesn't seem like a full recovery does it?" I responded sarcastically "we are only looking out for you, you goofball"

Evan sighed and rested his head back, his hazel eyes now staring upon the bleak looking sky that didn't seem to have much emotion. "I'm surprised you haven't.. asked me what happened"

"Evan, I didn't want you to have to relive your trauma so soon" I admitted "besides, you've told the police and that is all that matters. Emma will get a prison sentence"

Evan nodded in thought "it was awful Maeve. I begged each day to see you and Ember. I am thankful to have been beaten to the point of a hospital trip as awful as that sounds, otherwise it may be different"

"Luckily Emma did share true love for you, otherwise she would of left you untreated" I said numbly, my cigarette being puffed harder this time as anger pulsed in my veins. "And who knows what would of happened to you"

"A very sick sense of love but sure. That woman was.. psychotic" Evan chuckled dryly though I could tell he was putting on a front; he was hurting mentally too.

"So tell me. How are you and Henry?" He asked out the blue which caught me off guard,

Evan's messy mop of brown hair was swatting him in the face now from a gust of wind which made me laugh, it covered his eyes briefly as Evan attempted desperately to peel it away.

"Me and Henry? Yeah, we are good" I admitted truthfully. I couldn't fault the relationship we had in all honesty and I did have feelings. Nothing compared to Evan but that was different. With Henry it didn't feel as complicated as it did with Evan-which was a new type of feeling.

Evan clenched his jaw and nodded "I knew since high school that you two were meant to be together. Not Evan and Maeve" yet again this was a fake front, Evan didn't want to say that. Instead I knew that deep down he wanted to shout all types of cuss words.

I grabbed Evan's free hand and squeezed it "Evan I thought you ended things with me and got with Emma. You can only imagine how I felt otherwise- I would of never gotten with Henry"

Evan licked his chapped lips "but maybe that's fate ? Maybe this was meant to happen"

I shook my head desperately as tears threatened to pool from my eyes "Evan you know I love you. My heart aches being in this position when you're my soul mate"

"Then choose me" Evan pleaded, his grip on my hand tightening. "Come on, us against the world"

I let go of his grip and let our arms fall floppy "Evan- I need to think about things first. Henry he...treats me good"

"And I didn't?" Evan jeered with a contorted expression "was I really that toxic for you?"

I shook my head "no! You were not toxic. We just had a fiery relationship rather than a comfortable one"

"I-I really thought we would be forever" Evan breathed, a single tear slipping from his chocolate coloured eyes. "I want to marry you and.. have more children. Be the father Ember deserves and I-I just wanted to treat you right"

My heart pounded at his words as butterflies danced in my belly, his words were full of so much hope and love that it took everything in me to deny him.

"Evan, give me time. It's all I ask" I replied just above a whisper "I need to figure out what is best for me for once. I'm going to be the selfish one this time"

Evan cupped my face and stroked my cheek "I'll wait for you. I will wait years if I have to but please remember how we make one another feel, it cannot be compared with anything or anyone else"

"I-I need to admit something" I blurted out with firetruck red cheeks and guilt riddling me to the core. It made me feel dirty and disloyal but he had to know.

"I have.. experienced a normal relationship with Henry"

Evan bit down on his lip and nodded his head, his jaw now tense and clenched from a deep, burning fire inside of him. "You slept with him?"

I nodded sadly "do you really want to wait for me now?"

"During that time you thought I left you forever. As much as I am angry, I love you more. Besides I'm only angry because of how jealous it makes me" Evan admitted with a comforting tone "this won't change a thing"

Smiling briefly I turned my head away and put my cigarette out with my boot "then I have so much thinking to do Evan"