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Chapter twenty eight: seven years later

Dear diary,

Evan and I were good in the beginning, I had gone and visited him as promised a few months later and he had been working so hard, he got hired to be in a few movies not long after and he was progressing so well as an actor. I was his number one fan.

I would text him daily in which he would respond within a mere few minutes or sometimes rarely a few hours depending if he was filming or studying. life seemed to be going good but I was missing him terribly and it made me feel sick with all the distance between us.

Then it all stopped, the phone calls, the texts and the plans. I hadn't seen him for two years now but I get updates from Julie stating how he had filmed in a series called American horror story murder house and then a movie called adult world. Though I wanted to act like I didn't care; I did.

Evan abandoned me, he ignored me. And worst of all he broke his promise which was to always keep in contact. What changed ?Maybe he didn't have enough time to care for someone like me when I wasn't up to his standards anymore; he was a celebrity and untouchable now.

I decided on not watching adult world because of the rumours circulating about him and an actor called Emma but I did watch American horror story in which I was very impressed.

I had hoped he didn't move on with someone else when I had been waiting for what felt like an eternity.

Plus there was one massive secret that I hadn't gotten around to telling him because of not wanting to ruin his budding career. A secret which I was prepared to share until he decided on not contacting me anymore.

But I need to make things right, I need to see him and that is exactly what I'm going to do.

**

"Mummy, wake up" Ember whined in my ear as she began to shake me on the shoulder.

Groggily I sat up and wiped my eyes "baby why are you awake ?"

"Because we are going on holiday and I got excited" she pouted with puppy dog eyes "do I finally get to meet daddy ?"

Impressed by how well her speaking had come on I nodded and kissed her forehead "we are seeing daddy today. But it's five in the morning and you need your beauty sleep"

"But I'm not tired" she grumbled with the same pouted expression.

Sighing I pursed my lips "hot chocolate and marshmallows?"

"Yes please mummy" she chirped enthusiastically "I want extra marshmallows"

Rolling my eyes I got out of bed into my slippers and house gown. I had moved into my own apartment in a nice area near to where Julie lives and I couldn't of done any of this without her.

She scolded me regularly for not telling Evan about Ember but truthfully she knew deep down that I was only trying to help him with his career. I didn't want him to feel restrained by the responsibility of parenthood when he needed to do this.

Career wise I had become a tattoo artist, I passed my degrees and got hired by a local tattooing shop. They complimented my work from the get go which gave me the confidence I needed. If you hadn't of gathered I am also now covered in tattoos- my legs anyway.

Henry and I were still close, he decided to go back to England as of recent but he was a big part of Ember's life and she even looked upon him like a father figure. Henry decided he wanted to pursue acting too so he made his own path which I was very supportive of.

"Here you go sweetie" I said to Ember who had her blonde locks sprawled across her forehead. Giggling to myself I stroked the loose hairs out her face and squeezed her cheeks with my hand.

"You're so cute" I said adoringly to my daughter who was now six years old. She would be seven in April which was only a few months away and I hoped time would slow down.

It so happens that the night in Scotland due to mine and Evan's drunken states lead to no protection being used. I used to cry about how stupid I was; wallow in my own self pity but truthfully Ember is who has got me through the dark patches in my life.

"How about we make you some smiley face pancakes ?"

Ember nodded "thank you mummy" she then eagerly began to sip upon her cream filled, marshmallow mess of a hot chocolate.

My phone began to ring as I finished up the pancakes and I saw that it was Julie. Happily I answered it not knowing why she would be calling so early as it was now six in the morning which is still far too early.

"Hello are you okay?" I asked with a pancake lodged in my mouth so I sounded rather silly.

"Hey darling, are you still seeing Evan today?"

I sighed "yes and I'm freaking out about it"

"I'm so glad, he will be so pleased to see you and finally meet his daughter"

"Yeah I'm just hoping he doesn't reject us" I admitted lowly "I mean it's been seven years. Why would he want to know now?"

"Stop that, Evan is a great boy and he will be the best father to little Ember. Please do this"

I swallowed "don't worry, Ember is far too excited that she would hate me forever if I cancelled now"

"I'm pleased, that little girl has your attitude for sure" she joked "though I need to tell you something and may be a hard pill to swallow"

I bit at my nails in anticipation, not sure as to what she had to tell me.

"Those.. rumours you heard about? I asked Evan on the phone a few days ago and he confirmed he is dating his costar Emma"

The room started spinning around me and suddenly I felt sick to my stomach; Evan had moved on. He really did and forgot all about me. This just made me fuel with anger and animosity- how dare he do this to me?

"T-thank you for telling me Julie. Least I know now not to make an effort" I scoffed dryly "I had even picked out a nice dress"

"You can win Evan back, he has always had a soft spot for you. So wear that dress-

"Never thought you would approve being a home-wrecker Julie ?" I stated amused

"Oh shush. You be as much of a home wrecker as you like and win our boy back"

Julie the one and only mother figure to approve of my toxic traits. God I loved her