ch. 32

"you make me so angry and mad for no reason."

-boy in love

"princess! will you dance the night away with me as my date?"

even though the blaring music fill his ears, san can still hear his best friend proposing in the microphone. he pinches himself to make sure he isn't dreaming, a bittersweet smile on his lips.

he should have expected this.

he knew that someday, one of his friends would fall for the girl who is sitting out in the distance. everything about her is absolutely lovable: her laugh, her smile, her small height, her sassy personality...

absolutely everything.

but he never thought wooyoung to be the one to catch feelings for her.

the black-haired male is known for flirting, having multiple flings at once, and holding relationships that lasted for only a few months. throughout their friendship, he has never taken people's feelings seriously.

"there is no such thing as genuine feelings," wooyoung has told him. "the only thing that exists between people is attraction."

yet here he was, asking a girl out to be his dance date on one knee with all the love he has for her.

as expected, all but a single light turns on and shines on eunbi. everyone averts their gazes from the stage to the frozen female.

the way the light brightens her slightly pale skin, the way the light decorates her eyes with stars, the way the light makes his heart quicken its pace at the sight of her...

she looks like a beautiful angel who descended from the heavens above.

the music suddenly dies out and only silence resonates throughout the theater. awaiting the girl's answer, no one moves or makes a sound. the person beside her nudges her shoulder to prompt her to respond, earning a soft sigh.

he notices her lips curve into a small smile before she speaks.

"yes."

the crowd starts cheering as loud as they can while wooyoung stands up with a gasp leaving his mouth. the female next to her takes her phone and pushes her away from her seating, and so eunbi walks toward the stage to obtain the poster and bouquet of flowers.

with each step she takes, the weight of her foot crushes san's broken heart. the painful sensation travels through his body, making every part of him ache.

yet he still smiles.

you are used to this, he reminds himself. this is nothing new.

he forces himself to clap his hands together like the rest of members as a sign of congratulating their friend. the female reaches the top of the small set of stairs and enters under the spotlight, causing wooyoung to rush over to her side.

the sweet smile on his best friend's face makes the red-black haired boy feel sick to his stomach.

the raven-haired boy lays the poster onto the floor before engulfing her into a big hug, swaying her side-to-side. eunbi simply follows along without any objection as he releases the embrace and gives her the gorgeous flowers and the poster.

a few minutes later, the announcer ushers everyone back into their seats so they could announce the winners of each department. san, not feeling well, tells hongjoong that he will be heading to the restroom and leaves the auditorium.

when he exits the building, his feet guide him to the dormitory that is not far from the theater, drifting further away from the bathroom. he takes his time to walk in the cold weather, the wind trailing along his skin. the moon hangs up high in the sky along with the bright stars.

he lifts his hands to the blanket of darkness above him.

if it was possible, he would steal all the stars from the night and put them into eunbi's eyes.

he would give her the whole world if he could.

a tear falls onto the floor.

he arrives at the dorm after a while and immediately heads to his room, flopping onto the soft material of his mattress. his hand reaches for his phone and his earphones on his desk and connects the two. he opens his music app to turn on some music before he settles his device beside him.

"i'm going under and this time i fear there's no one to save me," the artist sings to him. "this all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy."

he closes his eyes, all focus now on the lyrics of this song.

"i need somebody to heal

somebody to know

somebody to have

somebody to hold."

tears begin slipping down his face.

"it's easy to say

but it's never the same

i guess i kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain."

the only thing he can feel is the sensation of his heart shattering into pieces.

"now the day bleeds

into nightfall

and you're not here

to get me through it all."

tears begin to slip from his eyes.

"i let my guard down

and then you pulled the rug

i was getting kinda used to being someone you loved."

he can no longer hear the piano playing or the artist singing in the background, the sound of himself sobbing into his pillow echoing throughout his room.

"someone you loved" by lewis capaldi.

a song about a breakup between two people.

people would say he is overreacting, that there is nothing to cry about if they were never a thing to begin with, that he should be happy for them.

but to see the person he loves be in someone else's arms...

it really does feel like the end of the world.