Chapter 7

You went with Markus and the other androids back to Jericho. Most of them just ran and left you behind with Markus. It was hard to keep up with the androids as they didn't get exhausted. Markus had been patient with you and didn't complain when you slowed down. As you reached the harbour and you saw the giant rusty container ship you were a bit disappointed. You didn't know what you had expected but you had hoped for something a bit more... more?

Androids sat all around, some needed to be tend to and others just looked afraid. The smell inside the old ship was intense and now you knew where Markus jacket had the smell of diesel from. It was mostly dark but they had lit a few fires in old oil barrels. It was a sad sight and you understood even more why they fought to get their freedom if Jericho was the only safe place to call home. You helped a few androids stop bleeding with the little supplies they had before Markus told you it was time to return to the city. He didn't dare to near the area where you left your car, as the police would be everywhere. He led you to a train station and gave you a small hug before he left.

"Your jacket." You reminded him and reached it too him. He took it but let it hang over his arm instead of taking it on.

"Thanks for everything, y/n." he said and nodded at you.

"Don't make it sound like we won't see each other again." You said and you could feel the tears start to well up in your eyes. You tried your best to blink them away, but they just started to run down your cheeks.

"hopefully I will see you soon." He simply said and turned around and walked away. As you were left alone on the station in the middle of the night, all the memories of the same night's activities seems to creep in on you. You could not stop thinking back to when Connor was having a minor breakdown on your couch and how you had hold each other like your lives depended on it. You could use Connor right in this moment. It would be nice to hold on to someone that would understand you. But... would you even be able to tell him? He was a deviant hunter at its finest. He was working against everything you worked for. You should actually be enemies, but just the thought of him made you feel a little warming in the snowy weather. As you boarded the train and you were high speed nearing the other end of the city you realized that you were shaking and you needed to get home soon. It wasn't just for the snow that was soaking your clothes but also the events that you wanted to forget. All the lifeless faces lying around in front of your feet only few hours before.

It wasn't until you got home that you let the tears run. Even though you felt so weak, you didn't want to show it if there were an deviant hiding away on you property. They didn't have to know about what you had seen. When they got to you, they were all so full of hope for the future. They could get those kind of news when they were safe in Jericho.

You threw your wet clothes around the living room, not caring about anything, before you went to your room and buried your head in your pillow. You tried your best to close out every emotion and just let the exhaustion overtake you and sleep. The extra energy you had used to fall asleep was enough for it to go faster.

---------------------------------------------------

You woke up to a crash of glass and bang of something hard hitting the floor. You shot up and were about to get up and see if someone was breaking in, but you stopped yourself before you did the most stupid thing you could have done. Walk right into the arms of someone wicked-minded enough to break in when it was light outside. And the fact that you were only in your underwear, made you an easier target for anything uncomfortable.

You slid down from the bed in a slow and silent motion and crawled under it and moved a few show boxes to the side in the process. You started to shake immediately but you tried your best to keep your panicked breathe in. You heard someone running around your house opening doors and it didn't take long for the person to get to your room. The door was smashed open and it hit the wall with such a force that you weren't sure it was still intact. The person stopped a few steps inside the room. You could see the person's neat shoes. Not the shoes you would think a burglar would wear. But who knew these days. There were a lot of different people that were unemployed because of the advance androids that were build, so maybe it would be someone rich suddenly becoming desperate enough to break into people's houses?

The person didn't move for almost a minute. You tried to hold in your breath but you hoped that the hand covering your mouth took the most of that little sound that would be. Suddenly the person bent down and sat on their knees. You gasped. They had figured out where you were. You reached immediately and rolled out from the side and got up, only to see Connors surprised face. You froze and a train of thoughts went through your head until you relaxed a little bit. He wasn't going to hurt you.

"What... the fuck are you doing, Connor?" You said under a shaky breath. Connor got up from the ground and corrected his tie before he spoke and strangely looked away.

"I... I was just informed that you weren't at work and hadn't called in sick. When I arrived at your house it looked like someone had tried to break in. The paint on the door was recently scratched off around the keyhole and when I looked through the window some of your stuff were scattered around the floor. I must have jumped to conclusions. I was just... Worried." He said and looked up at you for a split second and looked down again. Was he flustered? It was like a slight tint of blue was on his cheek that wasn't there before. When he gave you a quick look again you first realized that you had rolled out of bed the moment before. And the things that was scattered around your place were your clothes that you had violently thrown around the night before. So you were standing in front of Connor only in your underwear. You tried your best not to seem too affected by it and sat slowly down on your bed and covered yourself with your duvet.

"I... had a rough night. Emotionally. So I totally forgot that I had to call in sick. I went to bed really late. Connor, you scared the living shit out of me!" You half yelled at him and you could feel how your whole body was still shaking. It was a very intimate moment and you couldn't lie to him. You were both exposed to each other in your own way. You physically without any clothe on but Connor was showing a lot of emotions, so it was like he had taking his robotic mask off. He told you he was worried about you and he showed that he felt embarrassed to have invaded your bedroom and seen you almost naked. He was shy about it. You almost wanted to smile by the fact that he wasn't hiding it at all. The last time you saw him show so much emotions was because he was afraid to die. This was good even though the situation was messy.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Connor asked you and his LED started to blink in a yellow colour. But you realized that it didn't go from blue to yellow. It was going from red. He was alarmed.

"Not really. I just need to calm down again. Jesus. But thanks for checking up on me, Connor." You gave him a smile and you noticed how his LED flashed red a few times before it went back to the normal blue colour and he smiled back at you.

"I am sorry. I will go out and let you... Get into some clothes. Oh. Sorry about the door." He backed out of the room like he wouldn't miss a glans of you and closed the door to your room behind him. You could see that there was a crack in the door where the doorstop on the wall had hit it. It wasn't all the way through so you weren't planning on getting a new door anytime soon. You quickly found some clothes and found Connor sitting in your sofa. It was like he was deep in thoughts because his whole body jerked like you had surprised him and he dropped the coin he was fiddling with. You looked from him to the window near the couch that was now shattered.

"I already called for a replacement of it. You don't have to pay for a new window now that it was my doing."

"I can't imagine your boss being very fond of that." You said and stepped around the glass.

"So, Connor? Why were you even at my office this morning?" You went past him and out in the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Connor was silent for a while and without even looking you could sense that his LED was working hard on his temple to find a good answer. You spilled the hot water all over the kitchen counter because you wouldn't stop shaking but you needed the tea to calm down.

"We are stuck I out investigation and we have some dead ends. Therefor I was checking up on everything that we have going through; including you." He explained as you sat down next to him. He watched as you sat the cup of tea down on the table in front of the couch. His eyes were on your hands. You felt a little embarrassed about him seeing it, but you tried to stay calm.

"And it was so important, that it couldn't wait until after work?" You said and took a long sip of the tea while looking him in the eyes, removing his attention from your hands. You could feel that there were more behind all of this. He was going more and more deviant, but he was the first one you had ever met, that fought so much against it. But maybe the consequences for him were much bigger than the others?

"I guess I couldn't wait." He said leaning forward and rested his elbows on his knees. A very human thing to do actually, because he was avoiding your stare now.

"That's very sweet of you. Did you talk to James?" You tried to lead the conversation over to something that wouldn't end in him snapping back into his android self.

"Yes. He was the one that told me you weren't there. It was strange how he wasn't concerned about your wellbeing. He said I shouldn't come here." Connors legs started to jump up and down under his elbows. It looked strange for someone like Connor to move so... much? He was always stranding straight or sitting up straight with his hands resting on his legs.

"Oh. Don't think anything bad about James. He's concerned about me." And you were sure that he must have thought that there was a deviant coming to get help or something. If he just knew what you had been doing the night before he would actually have come running. That's how James was.

"If I was him, I would have been here immediately to check up on you." Connor spoke out in the room more than to you. Your heart skipped a beat at that statement and you could feel your cheeks started to heat. You had so many weird emotions at once. You were still shaking from all the trauma that you had experienced lately but at the same time you could feel the warmth spread inside. You felt the need to take Connors hand. To just touch him and being connected somehow. Something to calm everything inside of you.

"But you are not James. You are Connor and you actually came to check on me." You said and without asking took his hand in yours. He didn't even flinched back like you though he would. He actually reached out for you with his other hand too and stroke your knuckles with his thumbs.

"You are still shaking. I am sorry that I had this effect on you." He said with sadness in his voice.

"It's not only you. I just... had a rough night. I saw some things downtown that no one should ever experience. But it didn't exactly help thinking I was going to be mugged." You looked down at your fingers as Connors steady hands worked the tension out of you with only the touch of his hands.

"What happened downtown? Did someone assault you?"

"In a way. I don't want to talk about it right now. I actually don't want to think about it at all." You said and took a shaky breath and concentrated on the movement of Connor's thumbs on the back of your hand.

"I am sorry to hear that. Does this help? I can sense that your heart is regaining its normal rate." Connor analysed and you couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"It helps a lot actually. Your skin is very soft." You said smiling and observed his hand on yours.

"Would you mind if I hugged you? They say that human contact can help decrease stress." Did he even think about what he was saying now? Human contact?

"Did it help you the last time you were here?" You searched his eyes for any kind of regret or doubt in what he was saying but his face looked gentle and kind. There was no sign of the robotic Connor at that moment.

"It did. Would you let me help you?" He let go of your hands to let his arms spread wide for you. For the first time ever you saw Connor smile so big that you could see his artificial teeth. Perfect white teeth. You let yourself fall into his embrace. The way that you were sitting on the couch - slightly facing each other – made the hug more like you lying on his chest with the arms around his middle. He squeezed you tight and you were engulfed in the smell of him. He smelled so clean. It made you wonder who washed his clothes. Did he have an owner? Or a home? Where was he when he wasn't with you? At that moment you wouldn't mind if he just stayed there forever. It was so calming to know that someone like Connor was there for you, even though he wasn't meant to be. He was there because he wanted to.

"I have to admit that... I felt scared again." Connor confessed without breaking the hug. You closed your eyes and hummed.

"why?"

"I thought you were hurt. Physically. I thought I would find you lying in here bleeding out. I wouldn't have been able to help you. It was another kind of scared, but it felt the same." You could actually feel the vibration of his voice in his chest along with the biocomponent. In all your years of experience with androids, you had never really let yourself get this close to one of them and really feel them. You knew how everything inside Connor worked, like a doctor knows about organs. But laying your ear against his chest made you forget that he was different from you.

"I'm pretty sure that a Connor hug would mend any wound." You hummed and you felt so light when the vibration of a small laugh went through his chest.

"You think so? I haven't had much practise. I don't believe many would let me hug them." There was something so sad about that sentence that you finally looked up at him. He was staring at you with a loving grin. Had he been looking at you all the time.

"Is it hard? Being an android at the police station I mean?" You didn't want to push him to think that he's doing anything wrong showing his emotions but you were really curious now.

"It does give a lot of complications and name calling. But I am used to it. I have many hours where people are home from work and I can be there in peace and reading through files." You completely forgot your own problems for a bit. Listening to what Connor had to go through just because he was an android was heart-breaking. To think that he treasures the hours at night where everyone is gone? How can people be so cruel?

"So... You don't have a home?" You asked quietly. His face slowly turned a bit stiffer and his LED turned bright yellow. Shit, you had been pushing him too hard.

"I... don't." He said simply.

"You can come here whenever you want. Not just for the investigation, you know?" His eyes twitched a few times before he went back to his smiling self again. He gave you a little squeeze.

"Thank y/n. It means a lot. But right now I think I have to go. Hank may soon wake up from his night at the pub. We have to go through some files before going to the new lead we got." Connor explained but made no sign of wanting to stand up. But his words sure brought you back from cloud 9.

"New lead?"

"Yes. I have got a report that something happened close to the city centre last night. I have to find out what exactly but I have to pick up Hank first." You were suddenly busy looking everywhere but at Connor. Why was he still interested in hunting the deviants. Maybe he doesn't see himself as one of them or is still fighting against it? No matter what he couldn't figure out that you were involved.

"So you can't stay any longer?" You purred at him even though you were sure it didn't help much. It did bring a smile to his face which you wouldn't want to be without.

"I'm sorry, I have to work. The man who is going to fix your window is going to be here soon too. Did I mend all the wounds?" He said and you were surprised by his jokingly tone. 'Please stop fighting against your deviant self, Connor', your mind screamed.

"Not all of them." You teased back and let him squeeze you one last time before he let go.

"Well. Then I must come back another time." He confirmed and you both got up. Before he could do it himself you reached up and straightened his tie.

"I'll see you soon Connor." You said and watched him walk to the door. Yet again he backed out of the door to get a last glance of you before disappearing. You realized that this was going to be hard on you. You had to convince Connor to join the deviants at some point, or else he was going to find them soon and deliver them to the authorities and you couldn't let him do that. In the end you would have to choose.