13

sierra jolts awake, her body's internal clock waking up her brain. she's slightly sweaty from sleeping in jacks sweatsuit and she reaches over to grab her phone to check the time. 4:54 am. "fuck," she whispers to herself. her alarm is set to go off in six minutes.

she looks over at jack who sleeps facing her. they could never fall asleep and wake up cuddling, but they were always touching, like right now his leg is draped over her own. she knows she needs to wake him up so she can go home and get ready for work, but he looks too peaceful to wake.

sierra sighs and lays back down and closes her eyes. they went to bed at midnight after staying up talking about nothing at all. she fell asleep first because she had work, and jack shortly after. the thought of him kissing her gently while he thought she was fully asleep replays in her mind and she smiles.

she drifts off to sleep, and what feels like seconds later, her alarm loudly goes off. jack groans dramatically. "turn that shit off," he says. sierra presses snooze and jack rolls over onto his stomach. sierra sits up and rubs his back, causing him to let out a deep breath. "go back to bed."

"i have work."

"call out."

"it doesn't work like that," she says, laying on top of him. jack sighs heavily through his nose and she kisses the back of his neck. "i'm gonna go." she says.

"no," he mumbles, sticking his arm out and grabbing onto her leg.

"jack, i have work," she says rolling off of him. he groans loudly and sits up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. he flattens out his hair and sighs. "good morning."

"morning," he says, his voice raspy and thick with sleep. he reaches over to her and grabs her chin, pulling her close to him and placing a kiss on her cheek. "you ready to go right now?" he asks. sierra nods and he stretches his arms over his head. "alright. let me go to the bathroom real quick." sierra nods again and he gets up to use the restroom.

she packs up her clothes that she wore last night and slips her feet into her heels. when jack comes out of the bathroom, shes all ready to go. jack throws on a jacket and slippers and motions for her to follow him. sierra yawns as she follows him down the stairs and he looks at her over his shoulder. "just call out, sierra."

"i cant," she says simply.

"yes you can."

"okay, and do what all day? if i dont work, i cant pay rent, and if i cant pat rent i dont have anywhere to stay, jack," sierra replies, her voice exasperated, and it's only 5:15 in the morning.

"as long as you got me, you dont have to worry about shit like rent."

sierra waves him off and continues on outside to his car. she doesn't mind his words, but she takes them lightly. it'll be a cold day in hell before sierra lets jack take care of her like that. she can deal with the gifts, but the line has to be drawn at him paying her expenses, because she'll feel trapped. and imagine if things go wrong? he can hang that over her head and play with her livelihood—she won't take that risk.

they hop in the car and jack immediately blasts the heat. he pulls out of his driveway seconds later and starts down the road. "you gotta clock in at 6?" he asks, looking at the clock on the dash.

"mhm," she says. jack nods and speeds up, grateful for the lack of traffic this morning. they ride in silence, sierra checking the clock every few seconds, as if the time will magically increase by five minutes.

they make it to her house, and she jumps out before jack can even properly pull into the parking space. she's inside in record time, throwing off her heels and running into her bedroom. jacks sweatsuit is off in seconds, and she's pulling on a blue pair of scrubs and her nurses shoes. she tosses edge control and her brush into her bag, and races outside and gets back in the car.

"damn," jack says, putting the car in reverse and backing out of the spot. sierra pulls down the mirror and starts fixing her hair to the best of her abilities. "i'll get you there, sierra." he says when he catches her drumming her fingers against the side paneling of the door while simultaneously checking her watch.

jack sticks to his word and pulls up to the hospital with five minutes for sierra to spare. "thanks, jack. i'll see you later?" she jumps out of the car before jack even gets the chance to respond, and without giving him a kiss.

"bye, i guess," he says to nothing in particular after she closes the door. he watches her jog inside the building, and then pulls away from the building and heads back home.

-

jack, urban, druski, and a few of their other friends sit around jacks living room playing video games. jack and druski team up while urban and woyne are on a team. the rest of them sit around and wait for their turns, passing around a blunt.

"jack, bro, you're ass!" druski yells frustratedly, slapping his controller and shaking his head. jack can only laugh at his outrage, not taking the game seriously.

"chill, man," he says, getting points for their team. urban momentarily lets go of his controller to hit the blunt, and then passes it to jack. he takes it from him, considering smoking for the first time in awhile. he's not a big smoker, it makes him feel weird and paranoid, so he rarely partakes in it.

just as he raises the blunt to his lips, his phone buzzes in his lap; a text from sierra. jack passes the blunt to druski and abandons his controller. sierra is another reason why he doesn't smoke regularly, or as much as his peers. she doesn't mind when people around her do it because she'll partake sometimes, but she still doesn't think it's a healthy habit to have. addiction is addiction.

sierra: can u pick me from campus at 8 pls??

jack: u don't need a ride at 6?

sierra: nah

jack: ... okay

sierra: what?

jack scoffs and shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. "bro!" druski yells at jack, throwing his hands up in the air. jack ignores him, his eyebrows furrowed. "man, somebody sub in for this nigga!" druski yells, pausing the game.

jack gets up and hands the controller to the first person he passes, his other hand typing in sierras phone number. "you good?" chauncey asks.

"yeah, i'm straight," jack mutters, putting the phone up to his ear. he runs into the bathroom and closes the door behind him and locks it. the phone rings for what feels like an eternity, and he nervously chews on the inside of his cheek.

finally, she answers. "hello?"

"whats up with you?" jack asks, keeping his voice light and neutral, though his brain is swimming with a million thoughts. she was being too vague—shady, even, in her messages. he doesn't need to know her every move, but she also doesn't need to hide things from him.

"what? i'm good," she says, confusion in her voice. jack hears the light tunes of lil baby in the back and almost laughs out loud. "what's up?"

"nothing, nothing. you sure you don't need a ride?" he asks, playing it safe.

sierra hesitates for a second on the other line. "i'm sure, i got a ride. can you still pick me up at eight?" she asks.

"yeah. what you got going on at eight?" jack asks, running a hand through his hair. his heart races with anticipation.

"just a quiz for my program. i wouldve taken it earlier but i was at work, so," she says honestly. jack nods even though he can't see her—all he can focus on is the lil baby playing in the back, and he knows it's not an uber because she wouldn't have taken one due to jack being available and willing to pick her up.

"oh, okay," he says. they're both quiet for a moment, and the switch up of lil baby to big scarr in the back causes him to break the ice. "who you with?" he asks as nonchalantly as possible, but his heart rate betrays him.

"a friend."

jack chuckles, but it's not because it's funny. "come on, sierra."

"what, jack? he's my friend," she says, and he can practically hear her roll her eyes.

"why didnt you just say that off rip?" he asks.

"i'm not about to have this conversation with you right now. i have things to do, but we can talk later, okay?" she says.

jack sighs. "alright, bye." and he hangs up, sighing and dropping his hands to his side. he spends a few more minutes in the bathroom, trying to get himself together before he has to go outside and face his friends, who will inevitably make fun of him regardless.

"you good, fam?" urban asks as jack comes back into the living room, the blunt hanging out of his lips. jack only nods and urban holds the blunt out to him.

jack looks at the blunt temptingly. he rubs his chin and shakes his head. "nah, man," he says, but it's not a definite no. apart of him really wants to.

"you sure?" urban asks, pushing it closer to jack. you could call it a vice for him, but he really just doesn't like how it makes him feel most of the time. a small portion of the time, he's chill and calm, and can actually enjoy the high.

"man, shit," jack says, taking the blunt from his friend and taking a long hit. he sucks in the smoke and blows it out, passing the blunt back to his friend and shaking his head. he coughs a little bit and fans the smoke out of his face. "fuck, man."

"that's that cali kush."

a few hours later, jack pulls up to the nurses building on the clark campus and turns his car off. he leans his seat back and waits for sierra to come outside.

a few minutes later, jack sees sierra walk out of the building, still in her scrubs, followed by a tall man who he can't make out because it's dark. but jack straightens up and takes his chair with him. he leans against the window and watches the two of them interact, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel.

sierra and the guy hug briefly, but when they pull apart, they drag their hands together before finally pulling completely apart. jack sits up and lets out a heavy sigh through his nostrils. his eyes trail sierra the entire way to the car, even when she opens the door.

"hey," sierra says, leaning across the console and giving him a hug. she places a kiss on his cheek to butter him up, because she could feel the tension before she opened the door, and his rigid stance isn't helping either. "thanks for picking me up."

"mhm," he says, shrugging her off of him and starting the car. sierras jaw drops in the slightest, but she picks it right back up and puts her seatbelt on.

it's quiet and both of them can feel the tension in the car. it's thick and looks over them like a cloud, and neither of them want to break the ice, though something needs to be said. "what's wrong?" she asks, playing it stupid.

"you said we were gonna talk about earlier later, so talk, sierra. who was that?" he asks, not looking over at her. "and don't give me a bullshit answer like you did earlier." jack adds, just as sierra opens her mouth.

she recoils and tilts her head to the side. "watch your mouth. and that was issac, we're friends," she says.

"why couldnt you just say that earlier?"

"because i know how you get," she says, using his exact words and tone from yesterday. he finally looks over at her, and the look on her face almost makes him break. "don't be mad. he's just the homie."

"and how long yall been friends? because i didnt know about an issac when we were together," jack says. sierra takes in a breath, her heart starting to race. she never thought she'd have to talk about this with him.

"well i've known him since my freshman year, but i've seen him a lot recently because he started working in the hospital too," she says, and it's not a complete lie. they have gotten close, but not because of work. and it wasn't recently. issac was simply a crutch for her when jack and her split, he was someone who listened to her rant with an unbiased opinion. he was okay to be that guy for her at the time.

jack nods, but he still doesn't know how to feel. sierra senses his resigned demeanor but doesn't say anything and allows him time to think, even though there's nothing to really think about. they are just friends now, and nothing more.

when they get to sierras house, they both get out (in silence), and sierra lets them inside. she takes off her shoes and drops her bag by the door before telling him that she needs to go to the bathroom and running down the hall.

sierra does her business and walks out to see jack on her couch, his head in his phone. he doesn't look up when she comes out of the bathroom and she rolls her eyes. sierra saunters over to him and moves his arms off of his lap and drops down onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "you mad?" she asks, brushing his hair off of his forehead.

jack keeps his hands on the couch, but he so desperately wants to touch her. "hmm?" she asks, grabbing his face in her hands and looking down at him. jack looks away from her and she puts herself in his line of sight. "don't be mad at me." she says, kissing his cheek, his jaw, his neck , and then his lips.

he doesn't kiss her back, but his hands on her knees give him away. she smiles against his lips and pulls back. "you can kiss me back," she says. jack rolls his eyes, but his cheeks blush a light pink.

"you just always get your way, huh?" he asks rhetorically, placing a kiss on her lips. sierra shrugs, a smile on her face. "and i just let you."

"ding ding ding."

jack lets out a light laughs and wraps his arms around her waist. "alright, we both got out jealous ways out of our systems. we good?" he asks. it's not jacks biggest relationship flaw—it's not even top five, in sierras opinion—but he does have a jealous bone in his body. he was always secure in his relationship with sierra and knew where her heart was. he didn't worry about other dudes because he didn't have to worry about her. but sometimes, he doubted himself, which made him ultimately doubt her, and now that they're not even together, he's a little more on guard, given how they ended.

sierra nods. "we're good."

——

yerrrr how do u like the book so far? they working on their shit yktv