Chapter 11

Hey yall. Here's the next chapter. I'm sorry for not updating sooner. I was finishing my assignments so I didn't really have a lot of time but now I'm done. Just have to wait for exams. Also my parents don't know that I'm working on this so I will have to be extra stealthy. Anyway I hope you enjoy. Onwards My fellow readers.

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Renee's Pov

Lilith has been gone for a while, I was beginning to worry. Kate had used our code but that was a while ago. I know she can handle herself but a part of me worries. I looked around the camp. Everyone was doing their own thing but I noticed Dwalin wasn't here. I hope he's okay. Maybe he went to the bathroom plus the dude is tough so he can handle himself. Oh wait, Lils did say that Dwalin was with her, ugh you know what they can both take care of themselves. I looked up at the sky and saw the burning sky.

It looked so beautiful, almost as if the world was on fire but it wasn't it. It was so calming for me. I sighed as I looked over at Kate. Tonight was the night the company gets captured by the trolls. No doubt they're going to make us stay here but this can work to our advantage. I looked at papa and he was staring into the direction Gandalf left. He stood near the entrance of the farmhouse next to Bofur who was dishing up stew for Fili and Kili.

"He's been a long time."

"Who?"

"Gandalf!"

"He's a wizard, he does as he chooses. Here, do us a favour: take these to the lads."

Bilbo carefully took the bowls and made for the forest. I heard noises from the first and turned to see Lilith and Dwalin talking. I was so confused. They almost looked as if they were close friends. Thorin's not going to like that. I grinned at the thought of Thorin glaring at Lilith whenever the two have conversations. He looked like an abandoned puppy.

They came up to where I was. I looked up at them and smiled. Lilith sat next to me and Dwalin sat next to her.

"Hello Master Dwalin. Thank you for bringing her back. She would have probably been training till morning so you really made things a lot easier for Kate and I."

"Hey. That's not true, I can stop whenever I want." I looked at her with a raised eyebrow and smirked. She then huffed and crossed her arms with a pout.

"Oh calm down. I was only joking. Jeez, cranky much? Go get something to eat now or else Kate's going to drag you by the ear.. again." We both shivered at that thought. She got up and went to Bofur, who greeted her with a smile and gave her a bowl of stew. I turned to Dwalin.

"Mister Dwalin. I was wondering if I could ask you something. You can say no of course. Would you be open to training Kate, Lilith and I? We don't want to be useless. We know enough to handle people but orcs are a whole different story. We want to be useful on this quest. Would you consider it?"

Dwalin looked me in the eyes and was quiet for some time. I couldn't read his emotions which I was usually good at. I was starting to get nervous and was about to tell him never mind when Lilith and Kate came over to us.

"Good evening mister Dwalin. Hey si-you okay Ren? You look like you are going to combust."

"Oh I'm good. No worries. Just enjoying the beautiful weather." I spoke in such a strained voice. Kate knew I was lying by the face I made. I just sighed and told her what I told Dwalin.

She sighed and sat down on the other side of me while Lilith sat in her previous spot and ate her food. Kate was probably against my idea but we need to learn how to defend ourselves. We aren't some damsels in distress. I turned back to Dwalin to hear what his answer was. He looked as if he was deep in thought. Maybe he was actually considering it. I prayed that he was. He finally looked back at us with a serious look.

"I usually don't agree but after seeing Lilith's training, I think that perhaps you could all be great warriors. And Miss Lilith had already asked me if she could train with me. I don't really see the issue with training two more. So, I'll train ya, all of ya. But I'm not going to go easy on you because you're lassies. I'm a very tough teacher so you have to give it your all. We start at dawn."

We looked at each other in shock and then back at him with giddy smiles. We nodded, agreeing to his terms. He gave us a rare smile before getting up and heading over to Thorin.

Now we had to sit tight and wait for Papa and the trolls situation to happen. I look at the girls because we now have to take on project Thilbo to commence.

Kate's Pov

I couldn't believe that Dwalin actually agreed to train us. This is so exciting. I looked at the girls with a giddy expression.

"Please tell me that did not just happen. Omg Dwalin's actually agreed to train us. Wow this is going to be hellish but it's going to be so worth it."

We spoke about the plan when we heard running coming from the direction Bilbo disappeared a while ago. We saw Fili and Kili running towards us. We got up and ran towards them.

"Boys, what's the problem? Why are you running like someone's chasing you with a chainsaw? And where's Papa? You two are so dead." Renee glared at them and if looks could kill, they'd be six feet under.

"We sent him to get the ponies back from the trolls while we get you guys." Kili looked at Thorin who looked as if he was planning their funerals. Everyone got their weapons and headed in the direction of the trolls. We were about to join when a hand stopped in front of us. We looked and saw Thorin with a hard glare.

"What the fuck dude? We shouldn't be wasting time. Papa needs us so let's go." Lilith matched his glare.

"You will stay here and watch the camp. You are not trained to fight against trolls. Don't even think about following after us." He then ran towards the direction of the trolls. We just stood there before looking at each other and smirking.

"Phase one: complete. Now on to Phase two. We need to wait a bit. Then Lilith and you will go to the company while I throw stuff at them to piss them off. You guys need to distract them every time so that they don't get a hold of me. I'll inform Gandalf when he gets here. Remember we have to wait until morning. Alright let's do this. Remember to take a weapon to be safe. Also confuse them with our weird Gen Z minds."

They smirked before getting small weapons that they could hide. We went in different directions. I found a great place where I could see the trolls and the company with ease and the trolls wouldn't be able to see me. Alright let's do this. I have to wait until I see Lilith or Renee before I can start.

Third Pov

Meanwhile with the dwarves...

Well this is a funny situation. Dwarves being grilled like meat in a log by trolls while the others were in sacks on the ground, waiting for their turn.

They were yelling as the trolls were cooking.

"Don't bother cooking them. Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly."

"They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage."

"Well, that does sound quite nice."

"Never mind the seasoning; we ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away and I don't fancy being turned to stone." Bilbo's face lit up as he got an idea.

"Wait! You are making a terrible mistake!"

"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits."

"Half-wits? What does that make us?"

"I meant with the seasoning." Bilbo managed to jump to his feet.

"What about the seasoning?"

"Well, have you smelt them? You're going to need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up."

The dwarves yelled in protest.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?"

"Shut up and let the flurgaburburrhobbit talk."

"Yes, well, the secret to cooking dwarf is -"

"Yes? Come on!"

"It's -"

"Tell us the secret."

"Yes, I'm telling you, the secret is to skin them first!"

The dwarves yelled in their rage. A grin spread across Bert's face.

"Tom, get me a filleting knife."

"What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scruff them, I say, boots and all."

While that was taking place, Renee and Lilith went over the plan before stepping out with such confidence even though they were screaming internally.

"Sup motherfuckers. How are you all doing this fine night? What have we got here?" The trolls looked at Renee in confusion while the dwarves yelled at us to get away and run. Lilith comes up behind me.

"I don't think I want to know. Ooh food. I'm hungry." Renee rolled her eyes at her as they walked up to the pot. They turned to the trolls.

"You just ate. For fucks sake."

"Could you give us a boast please?"

Two of the trolls, William and Tom, didn't know what they were doing but decided to just help them. They lifted them on their hands, The girls asked for the ladle. They took a scoop and ate it. They looked at each, making noises, They hummed in agreement before turning to them. Lilith decided to flatter them so that they wouldn't be suspicious.

"That is very good. Compliments to the chef. It could however use some salt to balance it out but otherwise, chef's kiss. May I ask who the chef is?" Bert just put his hand up in confusion. Renee and Lilith clapped before asking to be put down. When they were finally on the ground, they turned around to face them, Renee took over.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen. Let's be civil about this, you surrender and you don't die. How does that sound?" No one understood what was going on. Out of nowhere a rock hit William in the face. The trolls turned into the diction the rock came from. The girls had to try not to laugh or else this plan was going to fail.

"Ow, you little snake. I'll get you for that." Lilith stood in front of Renee, putting her finger out and wiggling it left and right, shaking her head in sync. The trolls looked at her.

" Oi Boys. Be respectful when someone's talking. Damn who raised you? If either of us did that, our mama would be the shit out of us. She took shit from no one. Now apologise to my sister, or Ima beat yo ass."

They looked so terrified of her that they quickly apologised to Renee, who smirked. The dwarves were flabbergasted. Another rock came and hit Bert in the face. They were about to say something to Renee when Lilith gave them a look and kept their mouths shut. This happened a few more times before Bert finally broke.

"That's it. I'm not scared of a little girl. I'm going to cook you first and make the rest of your little friends watch." He went to grab Lilith before Renee stepped in front of her and slipped his hand away.

"No touchy. No touchy as the famous Kuzco once said. Gentleman, that is incredibly inappropriate. At least take us to dinner first. Damn we gotta teach some rizz or else you are never going to get someone. It's okay. We'll help you and by we I mean Lilith because I have no game whatsoever. Don't worry she's a master at this. You'll be pros in no time." Lilith nodded in agreement. At this point the dwarves gave up and just waited for the trolls to eat them.

Finally after waiting for who knows how long, Kate runs into view.

"Oi dipshits, we might not be able to kill you but our wizard can. Say hi Wizard. Fuck you and enjoy the sun." The trolls looked at her in confusion. Suddenly Gandalf got up on the big boulder.

"The dawn will take you all!" Confused, the trolls turned to Gandalf.

"Who's that?"

"No idea."

"Can we eat him too?:

Gandalf struck the rock beneath him with his staff. It broke in half with a crack. Sunlight poured into the clearing. The light touched the troll's skin, and turned them into stone as they screamed and howled. Within seconds, the trolls were nothing more than statues. Kate ran to the girls and did their special handshake.

"Boo yah. Phase two: complete."

The dwarves cheered as the trolls became stone. Gandalf looked at the girls with pride and gave their shoulders' a pat in congratulation. The dwarves finally relaxed at the fact that they wouldn't be eaten that night, and by trolls nonetheless. Dwalin groaned from the spit.

"Oh, get your foot out of my back!"

The girls laughed at them. Well they got what they deserved.

What could be next? The dwarves had no idea but the girls sure did. And boy, they were excited but nervous. 

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I think this was the most funniest chapter my friend and I ever wrote. She actually came up with the idea of the girls trying the stew. She deserves the credit. It was brilliant. I love the dwarves just give up when  the girls are stalling. The amount of faith they had in them, fucking hell. I think this is my favourite one so far. I hope you enjoyed it. I will try within the next week to update. Anyway see ya. Byeeeeeeee.

Roxie_Love