f o u r t e e n

Maeve knew it was coming. She didn't care. She quietly entered Headmaster Dumbledore's office, knowing full well there was a chance she might be expelled. She had hardly been paying attention in class, she was rude to almost everyone who tried to comfort he - she had even stopped attending choir practices. 

Dumbledore who had his back turned to her, was feeding something to his phoenix when he heard the door open. He turned back around, the sides of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. "Maeve. How are you?"

"I'm fine." the Hufflepuff said stiffly, coming to a stop a few yards ahead of the older wizard.

"Please," Dumbledore motioned to a seat across his table as he walked to his own chair, "sit down."

Maeve did so quietly. 

"I suppose you know why I've called you in today?"

"Yes." Maeve replied gruffly, looking at the wall behind him. "I'm going to be expelled, aren't I?'

"Expelled?" Dumbledore's brows rose up in surprise. "Oh no, my dear girl. Everybody has their own ways of grieving. Given that yours wasn't the most peaceful, one, I still understand."

Maeve crossed her arms over her chest as she looked the white-haired man square in the face. "Then why am I here?"

"Your godmother and I have been writing to each other ever since... the third task." he said carefully. "And so have Agilbert Fontaine and I."

Maeve had no idea who the latter was.

"We think, that given your past here - your mom, and Cedric... we think it may be in your best interest to spend a year in Ilvermorny." he continued. 

Maeve had heard of Ilvermorny. It was a wizarding school in the states. 

"So you are kicking me out?"

"Not exactly. Think of it as more of a change of environment. It should give you the time and space you need to grieve. Your studies will go on of course. And if you wish, you could even complete your education over there. Headmaster Fontaine is more than pleased with your performance this year - except for these last few weeks of course.  If you want to stay on by the end of your fifth year, you could stay. Or come back." he shrugged. 

"Do you even remember my mother?" Maeve said quietly. "Ever since I was a child she would tell me about the great Albus Dumbledore. But you couldn't even stop one of your students from being murdered in cold-blood." she said, venom prominent in her voice. "Everyone keeps saying Hogwarts is the safest, 'no one could be harmed there'-" she mocked in a falsetto. "But ever since my first year - Professor Quirrell, the Chamber of Secrets, Sirius Black breaking into Gryffindor House and now Cedric. You call this place safe?" she scoffed. "And now, referring to what Harry says, Voldemort's back. Do you honestly think Hogwarts and its students are going to just stand by as he attempts to kill 'The Chosen One'? Death is inevitable in this place."

"I understand your concerns, Maeve." Dumbledore stated calmly. "You can take your time to consider it. The school year ends in one week. You can tell me your answer then. You are dismissed."

_____

"Transferring to Ilvermorny? Are you seriously considering it, May?" Elizabeth asked, her mouth dropping in shock as the brunette told her the news. 

"I don't know, but I think I am." Maeve replied, looking down at the Black Lake's still water as she rested her head against one of the bridge's arches.

"I get that you want to forget what happened, but is leaving really the best way? If you stay, I could help you." Elizabeth said softly, taking her hand and squeezing it. "Susan, Zach, Megan - even your Slytherin friends. We could all help you."

"I know that." Maeve took her hand away slowly and placed it in her robe pocket, missing the blonde's hurt expression. "But... every time I think of where I am in the castle, I'll always be thinking about Cedric. Like that spot." she pointed at a place by the lake, "That's where I came out to Cedric and he tried to cheer me up. Every time I walk through the Hufflepuff common room, I just remember all those nights I'd spend playing exploding snap with Cedric. The great hall reminds me of how ecstatic he was when I'd first been sorted into Hufflepuff, she looked down at the cloth around her neck. "Even his scarf. I haven't been able to part with it ever since that day. Maybe leaving Europe for a while might actually help." she sniffed, trying to keep her tears at bay. 

Elizabeth nodded. "Whatever you choose to do, I will support you. But if you choose to come back, May, I won't be here anymore." 

"What do you mean?" Maeve looked at her with a small frown. 

"Next year is my last. I won't be at Hogwarts - and I'll probably be... with someone else."

"Wait a second." Maeve blinked. "Are you ending... whatever this is between us?"

"I don't want to." Elizabeth protested. "But I can't wait a year, Maeve. If you leave, we won't be together - ever. I'm sorry, but I can't do long distance. There are so many things I want to experience - with you."

Maeve's shoulders slumped as she digested the news.

"And I'm not saying this to make you stay. I'll still be supportive of whatever you choose to do - maybe not in the way you want me to, but I will." Elizabeth took a few steps away. "Take your time, May."

_____

Maeve rushed past the students in the corridors, making her way to Dumbledore's office after she had sad a brief goodbye to her acquaintance Francis. The Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students were scheduled to leave, and it was even more crowded than her first day when she and Cedric had been trying to reach the Great Hall in time. 

She knew what she had to do. What she wanted to do. She was going to kindly accept Agilbert Fontaine's offer and choose to stay at Ilvermorny - where she could stay away from all the memories that seemed to hit her at the most random places. Elizabeth was going to be a sacrifice, but Maeve was ready if it meant she could heal herself.

As she walked deeper into the castle, watching out the window as the Beauxbatons' carriages flew off, she noticed most of the corridors to be empty. Once she was in the West Towers, the hallways were completely deserted. 

She was about to turn the corner to the Headmaster's office when she was pulled back and shoved against a wall. 

Her eyes widened as she looked at the person across from her. "Draco?"

The boy shushed her harshly before letting her go and taking a step back. "I had to talk to you." he said with his lips in a think line as he avoided eye contact.

Maeve blinked, straightening her tie as she cleared her throat. "What about?"

"The Yule Ball." he sighed. "Granger wasn't the only heartbroken girl that night was she? The next day in Potions, I knew Pansy was too. What happened?"

The Slytherin asking Maeve what was wrong was the absolute last thing she would have thought him to say right then. 

"Why do you want to know?"

Draco glared at her before rolling his eyes. "Despite what you may think - I care for Pansy. We've known each other since we've been kids. I just despise the thought of making her a future Mrs. Malfoy." he huffed. "But against what I think, about half the Slytherins in my grade have taken a fancy to you. Even Blaise." made a face. "Pansy's been down ever since the Yule Ball. So tell me what happened or else I'll hex you."

Maeve internally rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe she was even considering confiding in Draco Malfoy of all people. "She was upset you walked out on her in the middle of the night."

"Of course I knew that." Draco scoffed. "What happened then?"

And then it hit her. This was the same guy who had told her Cedric would die during the Tournament - as if he knew it was going to happen. Unfortunately, she had no solid proof of him knowing. "I'm done talking about this." Maeve's lips drew into a firm line as she tried to walk past him. 

Unfortunately, Draco wasn't having that because he grabbed her and tried to pull her back when Maeve felt as if she was going to explode. "Depulso!" she yelled as she felt her veins run with magical energy and Draco Malfoy slid across the hallway, letting out a groan as he collided with the wall at the end. 

Maeve stared at her hands - shocked. She'd only heard of wizards and witches performing spells without wands. She hadn't a clue what yelling the word out would do - she just knew that it felt like the right thing to do.

"I said, I'm done talking about it Malfoy." she grit her teeth before turning on her heel.

"All I wanted to say was that Pansy can be a bit of a git when it comes to feelings. Maybe she hurt me, maybe I hurt her. I don't know. But I do know that she cares deeply about you. I doubt even she and Daphne are that close. If there's anyone she would tell anything to, it's you." the blonde choked out and Maeve turned - his serious eyes were evidence that he wasn't lying. 

Maeve said nothing as she continued for Dumbledore's office.

The Headmaster looked like he was talking to one of the portraits of all the ex-Headmasters on the walls when he turned his head. "Hello, Maeve." he said with his usual smile. "How are you today? I suppose the funeral must've taken a lot out of you."

"I'm fine." she quipped, looking down as she awkwardly shuffled her feet. "Thank you," she cleared her throat, "for telling everyone the truth about Cedric."

"He was their classmate. They deserved to know - no matter what the Ministry says." Dumbledore stated wisely.

Maeve nodded, gulping. "Um professor, I've reached a decision regarding our previous conversation." 

"About Ilvermorny? Do tell me." the old man answered curiously. 

Maeve took a deep breath, knowing all well what she was giving up as she responded to his question. 

"I want to stay. I think a change of scenery for a while might not be what I need. I'm going to go visit some family in the States this summer. But I don't think I can handle a whole year by myself in a foreign. And even if I heal there - it won't be at Hogwarts and the place will still hold bitter memories for me. I want to be able to walk through the castle without thinking about Cedric." she sighed as she ended - wondering why she was deciding against something she was so set on not even five minutes ago.

Dumbledore nodded. "That's brave of you, Maeve. I see Hufflepuff loyalty doesn't end even after death. It is a valued trait - that most would envy." he patted her shoulder. "I'll write to Headmaster Fontaine immediately." he started walking to his desk before turning around abruptly. "Oh, and Maeve?"

"Yes, professor?" the still-confused girl asked. 

"As someone who has lost a sibling, I do understand your pain - but regardless, you will be giving the O.W.L.s next year and I expect you to do you best. Professor Snape tells me you've had a massive improvement in his subject over the year. Don't let Cedric's death distract you from what you want to achieve."

Maeve blinked, and only nodded before walking out of his office, heading straight for the Black Lake.

_____

"Hi Chertric." Maeve sighed, settling down on the soft grass, looking ahead at the pile of rocks she had build to replicate Cedric. She'd made it a few days after she was out of the Hospital Wing while she was busy bunking classes. The boy's scarf was hung around one of the rocks with a moving picture of the boy and her pasted onto the topmost rock. Which was why Maeve had chosen the most discreet spot she could find. If anyone were to see her there, they would send her straight to St. Mungo's. 

She spread out on the grass with one glance at Cedric's laughing face. 

"Cedric." she sighed, looking up idly as she watched the clouds pass over her head. "What the actual fuck is wrong with me." she groaned, rolling to her side, watching as a butterfly flew away from the sudden movement. "I was dead set on leaving Hogwarts. Why did I tell Dumbledore I wanted to stay?" she sat up abruptly, waiting for the pile of rocks to give her an answer. 

Due to obvious reasons, she received none.

But Maeve knew exactly what Cedric would have said if he was there - not in the form of a pile of stones at least. The truth was ugly and it hurt her to even think about it, but if Maeve knew one thing - it was that his advice was never wrong. 

And she knew it was only a matter of time before she would succumb and do the right thing.

She then sat with her hands wrapped around her knees, resting her head on them as her head cocked slightly; staring silently at Chertric. "Look at me." she scoffed at herself, rolling her eyes. "Could this be any more pathetic? I'm literally speaking to you as if you were real." she sniffed, tucking her head into her knees. 

After all, the first step was always the hardest.

Her fingers delicately wrapped around the yellow and grey fabric as she slid it off. The stone on top lost its balance and rolled into the lake, making the rest of the rock figure all tumble down. 

Maeve watched with sad eyes as the stones disappeared into the depths of the Dark Lake, letting out a soft sigh as all that was left was the still surface of the red water. 

The Hufflepuff was about to get up when a splashing sound was heard, and next to her a piece of paper landed with a slight splat. She turned just in time to watch the tip of a giant tentacle disappear back into the water. 

She picked it up, noticing that it was the photo she'd placed on Chertric's head. 

"Right." she smiled sheepishly at the lake as she slipped the picture into her robe pocket. "No littering in the lake. Sorry." she pouted, scratching the nape of her neck when her line of sight drifted over to the path that led to Hogsmeade in the distance. Her eyes widened, realizing that the carriages for the train back to London had started. She hardly wondered about the mysterious black winged creatures leading them as she sprinted to the castle, grabbing her luggage and reaching just in time on one of the last carriages to the small town. 

"May? MAY!" Zach sighed in relief, looking over his shoulder as he yelled. "EVERYONE, IT'S FINE. SHE'S HERE!"

Three other heads turned behind him and Maeve recognized them to be Susan, Megan and Elizabeth. It all felt like travelling through a Portkey because before she knew it, the train had started for London. 

"I really wish you would have told someone before disappearing like that." Megan sighed. 

Susan nodded in agreement. "We spent almost half an hour searching the castle and then the town for you. Thought you might have stopped by Honeyduke's for some travel sweets."

"Sorry. I had to take care of a few things." Maeve blushed furiously before looking across her at Elizabeth who had an indescribable look on her face. 

She tried to avoid a one-on-one conversation with the blonde prefect when - inevitably - everyone but the two had fallen asleep.

Knowing she couldn't evade it any further, she followed Elizabeth who had gestured for her to follow out into the aisle. It was empty - given since this was usually the point in the journey when all the excitement had relatively died down. 

"I'm guessing you spoke to Dumbledore?" Elizabeth asked, leaning against the window across the compartment door, and Maeve watched the country whiz by past her. 

Maeve nodded. 

"And? What did you decide?" the blonde asked with an inexplicable emotion in her eyes. 

"I..." Maeve took a deep breath. "I'm staying." 

Elizabeth's expression softened as she wrapped her hands around Maeve's torso - a sigh of relief escaping her. "Thank Merlin, Maeve." she kissed the blonde's head tightly as she hugged her tighter. 

Maeve gave her a weak smile as the prefect broke away. She almost immediately noticed the expression on the girl's face. "You don't seem half as happy, May. What's wrong?" 

The brunette looked away momentarily before looking back into her friend's bright caring eyes. "I can't do this - whatever we have between us - anymore."

Elizabeth blinked before taking a small step back. "Come again?"

"I'm sorry, Liz. I really am." Maeve tried. "It's not right of me to use you as a distraction - which is what I've been doing. And I hate myself for it. And it hurts me to say this, but we can't be together, and I don't want to give you false hope and have you clinging onto a miniscule chance that we might work." Maeve looked down at her feet, anxiously rubbing her hands together as she awaited a response.

"I um-" Elizabeth cleared her throat, and Maeve could tell the girl was trying not to give away what she was feeling. "I think I'm going to go sit with the other Hufflepuff prefects for the rest of the ride."

Maeve stood outside the compartment as Elizabeth went in. A few minutes later, the blonde was out with her bags. "May?"

The brunette looked up ashamedly, still hesitant to make eye contact as her gaze flickered from Elizabeth's face to the view outside her window. 

"Can I ask you something?" 

Maeve cleared her throat and nodded. 

"Is this related to Pansy in some way?"

Maeve looked into Elizabeth's eyes at the sudden question, having no clue how to answer it. The blonde, however, didn't need one because the look on Maeve's face was proof enough. She nodded silently, sucking in a deep breath before giving the brunette a small smile. "Well, I guess this is goodbye Maeve Kingston."

Word Count: 3100