Chapter 18: Cry

Chapter 18: Cry

It’s my mom. She’s calling. I have to take this call or else I’ll be dead. I stood up.

“Hyung, I just need to take this call.” I said to Mark.

“Sure, I’ll just stay here.” he said.

I smiled at him and went a little far from Mark so he will not be able to hear our conversation.

I guess it will be a long conversation.

“Hello Mom” I said.

Mark’s place

Mark was just sitting there waiting for Rhianne. He looked at his watch.

“It’s already almost half an hour. What is taking her so long?” Mark said. “I’ll go and see her.”

Mark stood up and started to look where Rhianne went. He went backstage but he didn’t found Rhianne. He continued walking and walking until he heard something.

“I’m sorry.”

Mark looked at his left and saw Rhianne in a corner… crying.

Rhianne’s place

“Go home now. Please.” mom said.

I don’t want to go home. Not now. I’m a few steps away from my dreams.

“I’m sorry.” I said and ended our conversation.

I don’t want to make any quarrels with my mom. Today is my birthday and the least I want to have is to be happy for this day.

“Yah, are you fine? Why? What happened?” Mark told me the moment he saw me.

I looked at him and my tears suddenly fall. He immediately hugged me.

“Yah, why? Why are you like that? What is happening?” he asked.

The moment he hugged me was the moment I wanted to cry more. So I’m telling you, don’t ever hug me while I cry because I will cry more.

I don’t know. I wanted to be happy right now but I can’t. I can’t pretend that I’m alright. I can’t pretend that everything is fine. I simply can’t.

The moment I realized Mark was still hugging me. I removed myself from him.

“I’m sorry I wet your shirt.” I told him while I was removing all those tears on my face.

“As long as you’re going to tell me what happened, it’s fine.” he said. “What happened? I never saw you cry like that before.”

I just smiled at him, a fake smile. I wanted to tell you but I can’t Mark.

He sat down beside me.

“Now tell me. What happened?” he asked.

“I’m fine. Everything’s going to be fine.” I said then I smiled at him.

“How will I be able to know you more if you’ll not open up? You told me you’re going to let me know you more.” Mark said. “I’m here… as your friend. Cry as long as you want.”

Yeah, I told you that. But this thing is kinda personal.

“I’m not yet ready to tell it.” I said.

I was about to stand up but Mark pulled me back to my position.

“Then I’ll wait for it until you’re ready to tell me.” Mark said. “Even if it’ll take time, I’ll wait here, right in this position.” he said.

“Ahy, it’s like you’re forcing me to tell it.” I said.

“Because you need to unload all your feelings. Or else, you’ll end up being one of those people inside the mental hospital.” he said.

I looked at him angrily.

“What? It’s true. You’ll end up being one of those if you’ll not let all those bad feelings be unloaded.” he said.

I looked at him and he looked back at me. “Fine. I’m going to tell it. Happy now?” I said.

He them smiled.

“My mom called.” I said. “She greeted me a happy birthday.”

“That’s nice but…” Mark said.

“Then she asked me to go back home now.” I added.

His smile suddenly disappeared.

“Why? What did you answer?” he asked.

“I promised myself that starting now, I’ll not live in other people’s dream.” a tear suddenly fell from my eyes again. But I was able to wipe it. “I told her that I don’t want to. All my life, I’ve been a good girl. I always do whatever they want me to do. If they want me to be on top of class, I’ll study hard. If they want me to enter such a prestigious school, I’ll take the entrance exam and pass it. I’ve always been the good daughter but it seems like I’m still worthless.”

“But why does she want you to go home now? You’re a few steps away from your dream.” Mark said.

“She never wanted me to be a singer. She wanted me to be a missionary, a church missionary.” I said. “And whenever I try to be a singer, she makes me feel how bad daughter I am. That’s why I feel so worthless.”

“So she was the one you were talking about earlier.” Mark said.

I nodded.

“Remember the moment I told you about Prince of Tennis?” I asked Mark.

He stopped to think first. “Ah, the anime?” he said.

I nodded. “Captain Yamato was Seigaku’s former captain. The new tennis varsity players from middle schools were invited to a camp wherein high school students will be their opponent.”

I started to tell him about Prince of Tennis.

“On one match, Captain Yamato (the former captain of Seigaku which is a high school student now) and Captain Tezuka (the new captain of Seigaku which was on his senior middle school) were chosen as opponents. Tezuka’s abilities are way better than Yamato that’s why Tezuka was scouted by a German tennis group. But he chose to attend the camp together with his team because of what Captain Yamato told him before.” I said.

“What did Yamato said?” Mark asked.

“Yamato was a senior before and Tezuka was only a freshman. Since Yamato will be leaving the school, he told Tezuka to be Seigaku’s pillar of support. Tezuka held that title for so long that he even ignored his dream in becoming a pro.” I said.

I smiled.

“I can see myself in Tezuka’s situation. I am someone who’ll support my parents and just ignore my dream to be a singer. For a long time, I wanted my parents to be so proud of me that’s why I left my dream hanging on the air until I heard this phrase that Captain Yamato said. ‘You feel more responsibility than anyone else. You have to be the team’s pillar. Isn’t that what you believe? Perhaps it’s time to fight for yourself. You’ve always sacrificed yourself for the sake of the team. Isn’t it time to set yourself free? Following the path you believe in isn’t a bad thing, you know?’ That was the thing he said. I always play that part until I was able to memorize it.”

“Then fight for yourself.” Mark said.

“That’s what I want. But performing on stage knowing that the person you expect to be supporting you will never support you, it’ll always be the greatest suicide my heart will feel.” I said.

Mark tapped my shoulders.

“They’ll realize it, soon.” Mark said trying to comfort me.

“I hope so.” I said.

“I don’t know how to comfort you. I never experienced such things. My parents always support me in whatever I do.” Mark said.

“Listening to me is the simplest way to comfort me. Thank you. I feel a little relieved.” I said.

He hugged me.

“I think it’s getting late. Let me take you to the dorm.” Mark said.

Mark was carrying the bouquet of flowers and the chocolate while I was carrying Patrick and Peter Pan.

“Uhm, by the way, thank you for all these things. I appreciated it so much.” I said.

“You’re always welcome.” Mark said.

We were walking back to the dorm and Mark opened the door.

“HAAAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!”

*confetti here* *confetti there*

“Oh, it’s not Rhianne unnie. It’s Mark oppa.” Jimin said.

I took a glimpse inside.

“Yah, there’s Rhianne.” Jackson shouted.

“What’s happening?” I said.

JYP suddenly appeared. “They prepared a small party for you. I told them that today is your birthday.”

I looked shocked. Why did you tell them? -_-

“By the way, why are you with Mark? Are you two dating?” JYP asked me.

“Yes they are.” Jackson shouted then Jimin immediately hit him and Jackson was like ‘What did I do this time?’

“Oh no, no. We’re not. It’s just that…” I was still talking when Mark interrupted me.

“We’re not  dating. I just managed to give her a surprise for her birthday today. Since she’s important for me. And besides, we want to know more about each other.” Mark said.

Important? Why did you say that? I immediately looked at Yerin.

Her eyes are burning with anger. Uh-oh.

“Ooh. It’s fine. You two really need to know more about each other since you’ll be in the same series. ” JYP said.

I smiled at JYP. Then I put down those stuffed toys and immediately went to Yerin.

“Yerin-a, what you’re thinking about us is not true. Please don’t get mad at me.” I said.

“I understand. I’ve always been just a sister to him. He will never like me anyway.” Yerin said.

“It’s not tha..” I said.

“Don’t pretend to care. You also wanted it. I’m happy for the two of you.” she said then left me.

Yerin went out of the dorm.

Mark approached me. “What happened to Yerin?” he asked.

“I think you should talk to her.” I told him.

Mark immediately followed Yerin.

Yerin & Mark conversation

“Yerin-a, where are you going?” Mark said while trying to stop Yerin.

“Don’t touch me.” Yerin said.

“Are you crying? Why? Why are you being like this?” Mark said still strying to stop Yerin from running.

Yerin suddenly looked back to Mark.

“I’m just the girl who listened to your stories, who saw the tears you shed, who felt the pain you’ve hidden, who looked you in the eyes with concern, the girl who was there for you.” Yerin suddenly cried.

Mark immediately hugged Yerin.

“Yah, uljima (don’t cry). I know that. That’s why I am very much thankful that God gave me a sister like you.” Mark said.

Yerin pushed Mark.

“I’ve always been the sister but never the lover.” Yerin said.

“You know Yerin, I’m not really the kind of guy who wants to date girls younger than my brother. (which is 1996) I don’t know what you have seen in me. But I’m not the right guy for you. I don’t deserve to be your man. A lot of men are still there, someone who’s better than me. Don’t close your heart. Open it for others.”

“Why Rhianne?” Yerin asked.

“Rhianne?” Mark said. “Look, Rhianne is a friend. It’s her birthday today so I want to give her a surprise birthday.”

“You never did that to me.” Yerin said. “You like her right? I’m not making illusions. Tell me, you like her right? Why her?”

Mark sighed.

“ I don’t know if I like her but remember the moment I told you about girls? There are girls who you meet, and then, you just kind of forget about them. You can meet them as friends. I was not able to forget you but you’re my friend. Rhianne is the type of girl where I just want to keep meeting her. She’s a girl who makes me want to be with her. I don’t know but that’s how I feel towards her.”

“I get it. She’s the one worth keeping.” Yerin said.

“You’re also worth keeping because you’re my sister. I just hope that you’ll be happy for me. And besides, we’re still getting to know each other. It doesn’t mean that we’ll be in a relationship.” Mark said.

“Fine. I’ll accept defeat. But if she hurts your heart, I’ll shave her head.” Yerin said.

Mark laughed. “That’s my little girl. Now let’s go inside and try to talk to Rhianne.”

“Oppa.” Yerin said while giving Mark a funny face.

“You acted weird with her. Yerin, Rhianne and I are friends. She doesn’t like me.” Mark said.

“Whether you think that you’re just friends, deep inside you wanted more.” Yerin said.

“But that’s not what I’m trying to say. What I’m trying to say is you acted weird with her. So talk to her.” Mark said.

“Aish. Jinjja. Fine.” Yerin said.

Mark tapped Yerin’s head. “That’s my sister.”

Yerin walked ahead of Mark then she looked back.

“Not because you know I like you means I’ll always do what you want.” then she entered the dorm.

Mark just laughed and entered it too.

15& dorm

I saw Yerin entered the dorm and approached me.

“I’m sorry for earlier unnie.” Yerin said.

“You don’t need to be sorry. I know how you feel, but Mark and I are just friends.” I said.

“For now but what about tomorrow? Or on the next day, or weeks, or months? We don’t know what will happen.” Yerin said.

“Yeah, we don’t know what will happen but…” I said then Yerin interrupted me.

“I accepted both of you. It’s just that don’t ever dare to hurt Mark oppa or else I’ll shave your head.” Yerin said then she hugged me.

“Happy Birthday unnie” she added.

I looked at Mark then he whispered in the air ‘I didn’t do anything’

I just smiled.

“Thank you Yerin-a” I said.

“Hey, Yerin.” Yugyeom said. “Do you want some drinks?”

Yerin nodded and went with Yugyeom.

It was never a perfect birthday, but I’m happy with it.

After the small party they gave to me, GOT7 went back to the dorms and we fixed our room. The room was a total mess. It’s like a typhoon entered here.

GOT7 dorm

Mark immediately went to his bed. Jinyoung and Jackson noticed it.

“Do you think he confessed already?” Jinyoung said.

Jackson looked at Jinyoung, “I don’t think so. Let’s ask him.”

They went to the room.

“Hey Mark! What’s up? What happened?” Jackson said with his teasing voice.

Mark looked at him.

“I didn’t confess.” Mark said.

Jinyoung and Jackson looked at each other, feeling so surprised. They looked back at Mark, “What?” they exclaimed.

“But why?” Jackson said.

“I don’t know.” Mark said.

“Aish. This hyung is starting to be afraid again. Yah, why didn’t you tell her?” Jinyoung said.

“The same reason why you didn’t tell your feelings for Yerin.” Mark said.

Jinyoung stopped for a bit. Jackson burst out in laughter.

“Hahaha. Jinyoung you too. Hahahah.” Jackson kept on laughing that’s why he can’t say what he wanted to say.

“Yah stop it Jackson!” Jinyoung said. “As far as I know, you liked Jimin.”

Jackson stopped laughing and looked at Jinyoung, “NEVER! As in N-E-V-E-R.”

“Fine!” Jinyoung said. “But what happened hyung?”

Mark sighed. “I was about to confess to her but the word friends entered our conversation. So yeah, I became afraid. It’s like I don’t know how to say the perfect words.”

Jackson and Jinyoung looked at each other. “TONGUE TIED” they said.

“Tounge tied?” Mark asked.

“Ahem. Ahem.” Jinyoung said.

I need a little more luck than a little bit

Cuz everytime I get stuck the words won’t fit

And everytime that I try I get tongue tied

I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit

Like the perfect one word no one’s heard yet

Cuz everytime that I try I get tongue tied

I need a little good luck to get me by this time

“You need a little good luck” Jackson said.

“Although that song means that you don’t know what to say to make a girl stay. But, it may be used when you don’t know how to confess your feelings.” Jinyoung said.

Mark just smiled. “I guess I need a good luck.”

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Today's our first day of classes but then we have no class! Yey! Hahaha. So I was able to update one chapter. I'm sorry for this chapter, nothing really happened. Haha. But I still hope you'll continue to read this! :)

MusicGirl3415