Chapter 32 - Roadtrip

Over the next few days, Y/N ignored Bakugou.

The humiliation of finding out that she had kissed him-- desperately kissed him-- was more embarassment than she could tolerate. She knew that if she was around him again, that feeling of shame would only grow. There were too many unanswered questions. Why didn't he tell her sooner? Could he see right through her and tell that the crush was genuine? Did he think the kiss was real? Had he kissed her back?

She didn't want to ruin what they had, but this added such a strong layer of awkwardness to their relationship that she didn't even know how to talk to him. Their conversations had always been competitive banter-- but in finding out that she had kissed him, that power had all gone straight into his hands. How could she ever feel like an equal again if that had happened?

It didn't help that Mina was planning a camping trip for the break and the entire class was invited. In the bustle of planning, there were too many instances where they were around each other. Y/N had to leave the room to keep her face from heating up and alerting her friends that something had happened. It was embarrassing enough with Kirishima knowing.

"We'll be renting a van to get to the campground," Mina said one morning at the breakfast table. "The cost will be split between all of us."

"I'll take my bike," Y/N said hurriedly. She quickly glanced at Bakugou who only glared at her-- but that could've just been his usual expression. It was too difficult to tell with him. Whatever it was, the thought of being forced into a compact van with him was already too much embarassment to deal with. "I like the drive."

Mina shrugged, not caring about it too much, but Bakugou wasn't stupid. He knew this was about him. He had been racking his brain for days trying to figure out why their last conversation had upset her so much. Wasn't it normal for them to make fun of each other? Why did finding out about the kiss make her so angry? What was so different about this?

"Momo will be making tents, but everyone needs to bring their own sleeping bags," Uraraka said. "Make sure you bring warm clothes! It'll be chilly!"

~~~

It wasn't a lie, Y/N did like to drive; it just wasn't the only reason she chose to do so.

She was slightly mad at herself for being a pussy, but she needed time to figure out what the hell she was going to do. As she rocketed down the road in front of the bus, she tried to think about her options-- preferably ones that would lead to things returning to normal.

It would be easiest to keep avoiding it, but in all honesty, she missed his company. They really were good friends, and it would break her heart if she lost that with him. There was a small bit of pride she had that she was able to make friends with the must unapproachable person in the class; Bakugou seemed to enjoy her company, and according to the group, that was rare.

She could confess her feelings for him. This option was at the bottom of the list for obvious reasons-- Bakugou would use it against her for the rest of their lives, or worse, reject her and ruin the friendship. Not an appealing choice for Y/N, and even thinking about it made her cheeks burn.

She could joke it off. Maybe he wouldn't even notice. She could force herself to go back to normal, maybe make him laugh about the situation with her, pretending that the kiss was just because she was drunk-- and they could go back to normal.

Or she could apologize. She could say that she was sorry for putting him in that situation, and that she hoped they could forget about it. Saying it was the alcohol's fault was partly true-- she wouldn't have kissed him without it--but knowing herself, it was most likely that she wasn't able to resist him anymore. There was nothing wrong with half truths.

Iida, who was driving the van, motioned for Y/N to pull off by the gas station with them. Y/N hadn't even noticed that it had been raining until she took off her helmet and the droplets ran down her head. Her jumpsuit and gloves had made her oblivious to it, and she was so deep in thought that she hadn't cared.

She held her helmet under her arm as she walked into the convenience store, Kirishima and Denki dashing in behind her. "Can we drive your bike?!" They both cried out in unison.

"Sure, if you've got a license for it," Y/N said.

They both groaned in disappointment. "C'mon, we won't tell anyone," Kaminari begged. "Just for a minute?"

"Sorry boys, not a chance. I don't trust you with my beauty," she said, nodding her head towards her bike. "I've put too much work into her to have you dunderheads crash it."

"I told you," Kaminari muttered to Eijirou, who looked equally sad about her answer.

"I'm happy to give you a ride though," Y/N said. "I don't mind guests."

They both gasped in excitement and high fived. "I call going first!" Kiri cheered as they walked away to pick out snacks.

When Y/N turned, she saw Bakugou approaching her. Fuck. She hadn't chosen what she wanted to do yet.

"Alright, spill," he snapped. "The hell is going on with you?"

"Nothing," she blurted, but it came out too quickly to be even a little bit convincing.

"What did I say? I have to know what I did to fucking apologize."

Y/N shook her head. "There's nothing to apologize for, I promise. This is a Y/N thing. Personal biz. You don't have to worry." She gave a fake smile.

"Then why the hell are you blushing?" He demanded. "This clearly has to do with me."

Y/N popped her helmet back on which obstructed his view of her face. "Just sweaty from the ride, that's all."

He snapped her visor up and glared into her eyes, stepping closer. "Is it about the kiss? Listen, It's not a--"

Y/N slapped her visor back down before he could see her reaction to mentioning the kiss. "Sorry, can't hear you."

"A helmet doesn't make you fucking deaf! How dumb do you think I am?" He was getting angrier the longer they talked.

"Fine, Jesus! We'll talk later, okay?" She said, raising her hands in surrender. "I just need to sort my shit out." Bakugou watched her walk out of the store and hand her extra helmet to Kirishima, who looked way too happy about it.

~~~

"So, what's going on with you and Kat?" Kirishima asked. The wind as they rode made it almost too difficult to hear him, but Y/N had practice in hearing her passengers.

She sighed. "How did you even know something was up?"

"I've known him for years now. I can tell when he's just regular moody versus something pissing him off. He's upset about something, I know it."

Y/N thought for a minute, letting the noises from the motorcycle bounce around in her head. Kirishima was a natural. He didn't squeeze too tight like Deku, and he wasn't nearly as rigid as Bakugou. He seemed to actually trust her, which was a nice change of pace. "I kissed him when I was drunk apparently. I feel like I ruined things," She confessed. "He's got the ultimate upper hand against me, which makes things really weird. We usually switch off. It's hard to explain."

"Why does that give him the upper hand?" Kiri asked.

Y/N paused. "We make fun of each other a lot. Like a weird game of chicken. But it's kind of like he's always going to win now. Any teasing I do will just be shut down because I humiliated myself," she said, the embarassment coming back. "Him just bringing it up gives him an automatic win."

"I mean... I feel like it's pretty evened out. He slept in your room, which is pretty--"

"HE WHAT?!" Y/N shrieked, almost losing control of the bike. She caught herself at the last second, balancing the bike again. "What do you mean he slept in my room?!"

"Oh shit, I thought you knew," Kiri said, laughing nervously. "That's how I found out you guys kissed. He walked out of your room the next morning and said you'd kissed him."

"Well now I'm worried it was more than a kiss!" Y/N cried, her head spinning. What the hell else had she done? Her heart was racing in panic.

"No no no, you guys didn't do anything else," Kirishima reassured. "I think he wanted to keep an eye on you. Make sure you were safe."

Her heart softened hearing that, but was it actually true? He had bought her breakfast, yelled at that man at the party for her, helped her feel comfortable fighting again, carried her home, helped clean her stitches, made her pancakes... Maybe he was just bad with words. The list of things he'd done for her got longer the more she thought about it.

"I guess, but... he's always like that, so that doesn't really even things out."

Kirishima cackled. "Bakugou? No way. He's never like that. In my three years with him I've never seen him take care of anybody. He only looks out for himself."

So all those things he'd done for her... It wasn't normal.

"What does that mean then?" Y/N asked.

Kirishima scoffed. "You're as dumb as he is if you can't put that together yourself."