24

Minutes seem longer after Leslie showed up, it almost seems like time decided to work at a slower pace just to make me feel worse while waiting for Jungkook to come back. And the fact that I seem unable to know how to get him to talk about it is no help.

"The bitch of your ex-girlfriend showed up and tried to make me feel like shit" sounds too aggressive for my liking, even if it's the truth. And I'm also unsure whether mentioning it will be a good idea. Not because I don't want to talk it out, but what if he says he's thinking about going back to her? I don't even need him to be vocal about that, because just the way he reacts when he hears she was here will be enough to tell where he's mind is at.

I also think about the possibility of leaving, picking up my things and going back home. But I'm sure it'll end up with me avoiding to confront all of this when he reaches out to me.

I've been so deep in my thoughts, I'm not aware of how long I've been deeply concentrated in my own thoughts. I don't know how much time I've been thinking of ways to bring up the topic until I hear the door opening behind me.

—You're here —he sings, the joy in his voice is enough to know he's probably smiling right now.

I slightly turn my head to the door, seeing how that smile makes his whole face light up while he's taking off his leather jacket.

—You thought I'd leave?

—Nah —he scrunches his nose while shaking his head, making some of his locks move in sync—. But I'm happy to see you're here anyway.

I try my best to hold back the smile. Don't. It's not the moment now. But his tone combined with that playful smile makes it impossible for me to avoid it.

—I sent you a pic of the tattoo —he mentions, lying on the spot next to me—. You didn't see it?

—No, I haven't been on the phone today.

And that's solely because I didn't want to feel tempted to send him a text, or call him when he was in the middle of a session.

—That sounds like you've been busy —he rests his feet on the coffee table, next to mine—. What did you do?

—Not much —I shrug—. I looked around the house, but found nothing interesting —I pucker my lips, making him chuckle—; I watched a movie, too.

—What else? —he hits my side playfully.

"I met Leslie" "I kicked your ex-girlfriend out" "I was waiting for you to come back" Neither are a lie, but they don't sound good. But I know I won't be able to enjoy being around him if her name keeps popping in my head, with no answers.

—Leslie only wanted to apologize the other day?

I avoid his question, and jump directly to what I need him to answer. He looks confused by the sudden change of vibe and topic, but doesn't seem too surprised that I'm asking him right now.

—That's what's kept you busy all morning?

I don't reply back, I only look at him waiting for his answer. I know that if I snap back now, the conversation will be totally switched to a different topic and we will go in circles until he finally answers the question I asked.

—I thought that's what she wanted —he sighs—. That's what she said. But she kept saying how dumb she was, and how much she missed what we had —he grimaces—. I didn't need her to tell me directly she wanted to come back. And I didn't like the direction the conversation was taking, so I left and texted you to meet up —he scratches his nape—. She's also been calling me almost every day, and has sent me texts trying to hang out.

That makes my blood boil. What gives her the right to be acting like this with him, after everything she's done. And not only that, she also feels free to show up here when he clearly has been ignoring her.

—Sounds like a stalker —I murmur.

—Sounds more like someone who's been dumped and thought her plan b would still be available for her —he clicks his tongue—. She'll get over it.

After replying to my question, I feel him relax and let his head fall back over the backrest of his couch. Too bad i'm not done.

—You could've told me last night —I let out a sigh.

—It was late, and I wanted to enjoy being with you after not seeing you for a week. I told you the only relevant thing for me from that night, which was Leslie apologizing —he's still relaxed—. I don't care whether she wants to come back or not, because I don't want to.

—You know, it'd have been nice just to be prepared when she showed up here today —I turn to him.

This time, he's still as relaxed, but his eyebrows frown when I tell him his ex-girlfriend was here looking for him.

—What was she doing here?

I try to look for any kind of surprise, or curiosity. But I find nothing further than confusion and probably a slight hint of annoyance when he squints his eyes.

—She came here looking for you —I shrug—, said you two still had some things to talk about.

And also told me indirectly I was a temporary distraction.

He chuckles, tilting his head and rolling the tip of his tongue through his cheek before it's back to playing with his lip ring. It's one of his hottest habits, yet I can't fully thirst over it because my mind is somewhere else right now.

—I thought what I told her the last time would be enough to make her step back —he sits properly next to me—. That's everything she said? —looking into my eyes, he waits for my answer.

—She didn't say much more —I shrug—. Not like she needed to say much more anyway.

—I swear there's nothing going on. What I told you is everything there is to it.

—Okay —I shrug—. There's no need to get so worked up over it. Even if there was something to it, you can do whatever you want.

—There is. Because I care about what you think.

We stare into each other's eyes for a long minute, before I speak again just to repeat what I've just said.

—That's great, but doesn't change the fact that you could do whatever you want.

—Not again —he stands up, going back and forth over his tracks—. I can, but I still care about your opinion. And that's why I texted you that night. You're the only person I can think of right now, so I don't care about what Leslie wants.

—And I'm just saying I have no say on anything.

—But you do —he kneels in front of me—. You're unbelievable —a small chuckle comes from him—. I told you I'm into you, into you only, and your head is still spinning around trying to convince yourself you have no say on what I do. You do, so don't tell me I can do whatever I want.

I'm almost going to reply, going on with the discourse that indeed I have no voice in this situation, but then I'm aware of the rest he's said, the words he's used, the way he's looking at me with shiny eyes while he's kneeling in front of me. Realization must be totally visible o my face right now, because he starts giggling and scrunching his nose.

—Well... —I lick my lips, and lower my upper body a little— Thank god you said that, because I didn't mean it at all.

—I know —he silently chuckles—. Now, honest opinion on what you think I should do?

—There isn't much you could do right now —I shrug—. You made clear you were happy right now —he nods—, you've been avoiding her —he nods again—, you also told her you're seeing someone...

—I knew you'd bring that up —that malicious smile is making all my alarms get ready for anything—. Yeah, great girl indeed —he frowns momentarily.

—Are you going to talk in third person about me now? —I tease, raising one of my eyebrows.

—Who said it was you? —he teases back.

—Is it not? —I cross my arms over my chest.

He presses his lips together, trying to -needlessly- hide the smile that's forming on his face while we keep eye contact. He scrunches his nose again before looking away.

—I'm the great girl —I confirm, relaxing on the couch while letting my body fall back until it hits the backrest.

When I look down, Jungkook's eyes are still on me, looking at me while his lips curve up slightly. It seems like this conversation is over, but we both know this should only be the beginning of a longer conversation we should have -but that we aren't ready to have yet. His eyes show he still has a lot of things he still wants to say, but he doesn't.

Jungkook stands up again, making his way to the kitchen. One thing about him, he's unable to stay still for longer than five minutes. He's always moving his body, changing positions, and that's exactly what he is doing now.

✸ ✸ ✸

After having lunch together, we both go back to his couch, just to lie there for the rest of the afternoon. We haven't talked much, yet it's not like I care. At least not today. Binge watching one of the worst Netflix shows, just enjoying each other, after the conversation we had earlier is good. It's enough.

It's crazy how he makes me want to stop time. With him there are no worries, no career disappointments, no blurry past I seem to be unable to remember most of. It's just him and I, and I like it that way.

—What are you thinking?

It isn't until he asks that question that I realize I've been staring at him while I was spacing out. He's frowning, but that smirk on his face is still there. It always is when he's in a good mood.

He catches me off guard, which isn't anything new with him. He always does. So, at the same time I'm moving my eyes away from him, I try to think of an excuse.

—Umm —I take a look at the TV—. I was thinking... of a way to tell you this show is awful.

—I heard you laughing just ten minutes ago —he throws his head back, and parts his lips, surprised by my answer.

—Yes, by how bad it is —I reply back—. Let's choose something else —I try to reach the remote, but he moves it away.

Every single time I move the hand closer to the remote, Jungkook puts his hand away. Thinking it wouldn't work, I start pinching his ribs, making him flinch and giggle whenever my fingers grab his skin over the t-shirt.

—Give it to me. C'mon.

He's cackling and moving his body, trying to avoid my hands, yet he's still managing to keep the remote away. After one of those moves, we both fall to the ground. My back hits the ground, and instantly after I feel the weight of his body on my torso.

—Look what you've done —he places his hands on both sides of my head.

—You should've given me the remote. Technically, this is your fault.

—Is it?

The mood seems to have switched as soon as our bodies collided against the floor, as if we had entered a new different dimension. Jungkook gently rubs his fingers over my cheek, just to move one of my locks away from my face.

—I'll take the blame for it, then —he whispers.

His silver chain feels cold when it first lies on my throat as he starts to bend over me. But I soon forget about that when his lips lock with mine. He moves slowly, each move of his mouth seemingly planned to drive me crazy by the way he sucks on my lower lip and lets go of it. The sucking sounds of our lips have always driven me to the next level, but today they feel intoxicating. My mind is filled with those sounds.

Jungkook traces the curve of my waist while lifting the oversized t-shirt, his tongue is playing with mine, and the only thing I can think about is how bad I want him. So bad that I seem out of my mind when he breaks the kiss just for a second to breathe, while I say out of breath:

—I want to do it.

When he moves his head away from me, just so he can look me in the eyes, I can see the insecurity and worry.

—I'm ready —I assure him—. I want to do more.

—Babe, I'm sure you are —his thumb plays circles on my belly—. But it's your first time, it should be more special than this.

But it is already special. Although that look in his eyes, while he's staring at me as if he were trying to read my mind, tells me I couldn't be more wrong. He moves his gaze away, and lifts one of his eyebrows, when he's lost in his own thoughts. When Jungkook draws his eyes back to me, they're shining with the crumbs of an idea he's just had.

—Let's go.

He gets up from the floor first, and helps me to join him while pulling my body with my hand. His fingers intertwine with mine, with a tight and secure grip, as Jungkook leads us to his bedroom.

—I thought you said you wanted it to be special.

—And I stand by that —he turns to me—. If you want to do it, we'll do it right now and here. But I'm asking you to wait, so I can make it worth it.

The honey tone in his voice almost makes my whole body melt for him. And, at this point, I'm not sure if he's doing it on purpose or if he's really that unaware of everything he does to me.

—What was your idea then?

The cuteness disappears as soon as I drop that question. The tiny smile is replaced by a malicious smirk, and his eyes stop shining witht he stars on them to start turning black with a darker and hotter gaze.

—I want you so bad, cocktease —he plays with the button of my pants—. Only thing I was able to think about today was you wearing this shirt —his fingers move down the zip slowly—. Waiting for me here... You have no idea what you do to me —he whispers on my lips.

My pants are loose around my hips, and that's the only sign I need to unzip his jeans. My hands slip under his t-shirt, lifting it up at the same time my fingers drive through his worked torso, feeling every muscle tense under my touch.

—Should I keep it on?

—Please, don't.

A kiss is placed on my chin, and he lowers to my neck while he's fighting to take off his jeans. How he's trying to keep his balance while giving soft kisses on my neck makes me giggle, but also turns me on the way he wants to be linked to be skin no matter what.

—You're laughing? —he asks with a challenging tone, looking at me with defiant eyes while a cute smile is contrasting— Let's see if you keep laughing.

He bites my lower lip and steps back, heading to his bed at the same time he gets rid of his t-shirt. I'm confused whether I should stand here or follow him, and I'm about to join him in bed, but I don't. When he sits in the middle of the mattress, back against the headboard and eyes fixed on me, I know what he wants me to do.

—Take everything off.

And I do. I start by sliding my pants down my thighs and push them away with a quick move of my feet. When my eyes go back to Jungkook, he's licking his lower lip and playing with his piercing, moving it gently with his tongue before his eyes connect with mine. I'm unable to break that connection, I don't want to, but I have to when I have to take my t-shirt off.

His dark eyes travel down my body and are fixed on my panties.

—Everything —he reminds me.

—You, too —I point to his boxers with my eyes.

He gives me a bigger smirk, nodding slowly as his fingers grab the elastic of his underwear. Teasing and mocking each other, we play who's getting totally naked first until we both start taking the last piece of fabric off our bodies. His cock jumps hard and free, and rests on his belly while he waits for me.

—Come here.

I nervously bite my lip, and start crawling to him on the bed. I've always been confident around him, always sure of how to behave with him, but the way he's looking at me right now is making all of that disappear.

—You're so perfect —his raspy voice fills my ears when I reach him—. So fucking beautiful —he pecks my lips—. You trust me?

With my whole heart.

—Yes.

With one quick move, he has me straddling him, and moves my body along with his while he tries to totally lie on the mattress.

—Remember when you rode my thigh?

The only mention of that makes my pussy clench and leak with anticipation. Of course I remember that.

—Yeah.

—Do the same thing on my cock.

I look at him confused, but I still try to move over his body. Too bad every single time I try, I end up in the starting position because I don't know exactly how to place myself. I'm interrupted by Jungkook's hand on my hip and his chuckle.

—Like this.

He holds his dick against his belly, and moves my hips down until we have our first contact. My clit throbs when his cock is placed perfectly in between my folds, and in an attempt to hold back my excitement over this, I press my lips together. Holding me tight against him, with now both of his hands on my hips, he moves me slowly forward on his cock, making me feel every single vein on his shaft. And when I'm almost going to reach the tip, he moves my back again. The friction of his skin against mine feels delicious.

Without feeling his hands guiding my moves anymore, I get ready to do it on my own. I move back and forwards with a slow pace, enjoying the electricity running through my veins with the gentle pressure on my clit.

My body asks me more, and I'm ready to give it all.

—That's it —I hear him moaning—. Make me feel it.

I move my hands all over my body, feeling myself, touching every spot, knowing myself better than I've ever tried to do.

Consumed by the pleasure, I close my eyes and let my head fall back. But soon after that white spongy cloud turns into a gray one. That pleasure starts being replaced by that strange feeling again, I feel scared, I feel... disgusted. Those hands rubbing my thighs don't seem like Jungkook's anymore, I don't hear his moans nor his heavy breath.

I'm close to succumb to all those dark thoughts, until Jungkook's hand on my cheek and his voice bring me out again.

—Babe, look at me.

I open my eyes, finding him closer than before, he's supporting his weight on his elbow so his torso can be slightly lifted up.

—Are you okay? —I nod— Sure? —I nod again.

—It's just... I'm not sure if I'm doing it okay.

Clearly, I lie.

—You're doing great —he kisses my shoulder—. Keep moving like that —his hands go back to my hips.

He starts helping me with those movements, making them feel easier to make, more pleasurable.

—Keep your eyes on me —he orders when I'm about to close them again—. I want to see your eyes when you cum.

My legs feel sore after a while, but that doesn't make me stop. I don't care about that slight ache, or the mess I'm right now while trying to reach my high and make him reach his.

—Fuck... yes.

He lets several choky moans, before he finally spills all of his seed over his abs. But Jungkook doesn't let me step, he wants me to cum now, and he's fully focused on me. His hands cup my breasts, massaging them, fingers getting closer to my nipples and pinching them softly, while I'm totally lost in him. I look at him up and down, lost in the way he's looking right now. His long locks messily falling on the pillow, and some of them are stuck to his forehead and cheek because of the thin coat of sweat, that beautiful and shiny necklace falling in between his marked chest, the drops of his cum adorning his abs, while his cock -that keeps showing up and disappearing from my sight- is all covered with my wetness.

—Cum on my cock —he encourages me—. Let me feel how much you liked it.

Holding myself to his forearms, in a sick attempt to get strength from somewhere, I start moving my hips faster. High pitched moans are feeling the room, while the wet sounds of my own pussy drills my ears and pushes me closer to orgasm.

He holds my jaw with one of his hands, forcing my look up just so my eyes are on his when I finally explode.

Jungkook takes care of everything after that. He cleans the mess on our bodies, and comes back to bed when he's made sure everything is okay.

I don't have time to think whether we should hug or not, because he's pulling me closer to his body, my head resting on his chest, before I can create the question in my head.

—How was it? —I dare to ask.

—Tonight it was confirmed you showed up in my life just to kill me —he chuckles.

We stay in silence for a few seconds. I don't have the strength to speak, I don't feel like wanting to, when his fingers start massaging my scalp delicately. I know that if he keeps doing this, I'll fall asleep in no time.

—Let's go on a date —he suggests.

—Hmm? —I open my eyes, looking back at him.

—A date. Tomorrow night.

—I'm working tomorrow night.

—I'll pick you up when you finish your shift —he suggests—. Are you with Tam tomorrow?

—Nope.

—Then it's settled —he holds me tight—. Do you want to?

—A date as in?

—As in two people that clearly are into each other and want to do something different. What do you think?

When he looks at me with those big doe eyes, shining bright as he's hoping for me to say yes, I just can't say no. And right now I wouldn't dare to say no either way. Tomorrow me will probably want to kill me though.

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Warning: In the next chapters there will be triggers and I'll deal with delicate topics. Either way, I'll write the triggering warning before each chapter and before it happens while the chapter is on going.