*45*

Areum pov

The night stretched on, and I stayed on that bench, letting the waves swallow the silence I didn't know how to fill.

I wished I could close my eyes, take a deep breath, and just know what I wanted. But the truth sat heavy in my chest-I didn't.

Jimin had been my beginning, the kind of love that burned hot, reckless and untamed. He was the person I had spent years tangled up in, loving and hurting in equal measure. The one who had left, and the one who had come back.

And then there was Taehyung. The person who had always been there, waiting in the quiet spaces I had ignored. Who had never asked for anything, until now.

"I like you, Areum."

I sighed, dropping my head into my hands.

It should have been simple. It wasn't.

Somewhere in the distance, laughter spilled from the bar. The sound of glasses clinking, the faint thrum of music. I knew I should go back, knew that the others would be wondering where I had gone. But my legs refused to move.

I wasn't ready to face them. To face him.

A sudden breeze swept over me, and before I could stop myself, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.

For a brief second, I hovered over Taehyung's name. My fingers twitched, the urge to say something-anything-pressing against my chest.

But what was I supposed to say? That I was sorry? That I didn't know how to feel? That maybe, in another life, I would have loved him the way he deserved?

My thumb hovered over the screen for a moment too long. And then-

I locked my phone and shoved it back into my pocket.

Not tonight.

Not when I didn't have an answer.

With a steadying breath, I pushed myself off the bench and turned back toward the bar. The glow of lights flickered ahead, the familiar figures of my friends still gathered at our table.

I wasn't ready to make a choice.

But I could pretend, for a little while longer, that I didn't have to.

By the time I stepped back into the bar, the warmth of the room felt almost suffocating. The laughter, the music, the clinking of glasses-it was all too loud, too bright, too normal.

I forced myself forward, weaving through the crowd until I spotted our table.

Minji was still deep in conversation with the bartender, Jungkook was dramatically recounting some ridiculous story, and Taehyung-

Taehyung was sipping his drink, eyes downcast, expression unreadable.

Only Jimin noticed me right away.

His gaze flickered up the moment I got close, scanning me like he could read every thought swirling in my head. His smirk was gone, replaced by something quieter, something more observant.

"You good?" he asked, his voice low enough that only I could hear.

I nodded. "Yeah. Just needed some air."

Jimin hummed, unconvinced, but he didn't push.

I slid into my seat, reaching for my drink, pretending I wasn't still unraveling inside.

Minji finally noticed me and grinned. "Oh good, you're back! We were just talking about-wait, where did you go?"

"Nowhere," I said quickly, too quickly.

Minji's eyes narrowed in suspicion, but before she could dig deeper, Jungkook cut in. "Noona, please tell her that getting a bartender's number does not count as part of the game."

Minji gasped. "Excuse me, a number is a number."

Jungkook groaned, and just like that, the conversation shifted.

I exhaled, grateful for the distraction.

But as I took a sip of my drink, my gaze flickered toward Taehyung.

He hadn't looked at me once.

Not since I sat down.

And somehow, that made my chest ache more than anything.

I wasn't sure if I wanted him to pretend nothing had happened.

Or if I wanted him to acknowledge it.

But Taehyung said nothing, just traced the rim of his glass with his fingers, his shoulders a little tenser than before.

And Jimin-Jimin, who had been watching all of this unfold, leaned back in his seat, something knowing flickering behind his eyes.

I took another sip, trying to ignore the weight of Jimin's gaze. The air felt heavy, thick with unspoken words, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could pretend that everything was normal.

Jimin's voice cut through the silence, his tone casual but with a hint of something deeper. "You look like you've got a lot on your mind."

I froze for a second, unsure how to answer. The last thing I wanted was for him to see right through me. But then again, he always did. He always knew when something wasn't right.

"I'm fine," I muttered, hoping the lie sounded convincing.

He didn't respond right away, his eyes still studying me. The smile on his face was gone, replaced by a quiet understanding that made my chest tighten.

A low laugh from Minji broke the moment, and I exhaled sharply, grateful for the distraction. She was still going on about the bartender's number, much to Jungkook's dismay, and the absurdity of it made me want to laugh, too. But no matter how hard I tried, my thoughts kept circling back to Taehyung.

I glanced at him again, my heart aching at the sight of him sitting there, so close yet so far away. He hadn't said a word to me since I came back. He just sat there, a small frown tugging at the corners of his mouth as he swirled his drink, lost in his own thoughts.

I hated that I couldn't read him. He was a mystery.

A mystery I wasn't sure I was ready to solve.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jimin asked again, his voice a little softer this time.

I met his gaze for a moment, feeling my heart stutter in my chest. There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn't have the words. How could I explain this to him?

But before I could speak, Taehyung stood up,his phone ringing in his hand, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. His eyes flickered toward me for the briefest of moments, but there was no softness in them, only an unreadable distance.

"Excuse me," he muttered, and then he was gone, slipping through the crowd and disappearing into the night.

The room seemed to hold its breath in his absence, and I felt the weight of it settle on my shoulders.

Taehyung never came back.

Minutes stretched into an hour, then longer. At first, no one said anything, pretending like it wasn't strange. But as time passed, glances were exchanged. Jungkook checked his phone. Minji tapped her nails against her glass. Even Jimin's usual ease had faded into something quieter, more thoughtful.

Still, no one spoke his name.

Eventually, Minji sighed, stretching her arms over her head. "I'm calling it. Let's head back."

Jungkook hesitated. "Shouldn't we wait for him?"

Jimin didn't even glance up as he stood, tossing his keys in his hand. "He knows where we're staying. I'll just text him we're leaving."

The words settled heavily between us, but no one argued.

The ride back to the beach house was quieter than before. The energy from earlier had dimmed, as if Taehyung's sudden departure had taken something with it.

Minji was scrolling through her phone, occasionally whispering to Jungkook about something that made him groan in response. Jimin was at the wheel, his fingers drumming against it, a quiet hum escaping his lips as he focused on the road. And me?

I just stared out the window, watching the dark waves stretch endlessly beyond the shore.

Taehyung hadn't come back. And I hated the way my chest tightened at the thought.

Was it because of me?

What was I supposed to do now?

The beach house came into view, warm light spilling from the porch. The ocean breeze was stronger here, carrying the scent of salt and something achingly familiar.

The quiet hum of the car faded into silence as Jimin turned off the engine. None of us moved right away. The air felt heavier than before, thick with unspoken thoughts and the ghost of Taehyung's absence.

Minji was the first to break the stillness, pushing open her door and stretching with an exaggerated sigh. "Alright, I'm claiming first shower," she announced, already making her way toward the house. Jungkook groaned in protest, but she ignored him, disappearing inside.

Jungkook shot Jimin a look. "You're really not gonna check on him?"

Jimin shrugged, leaning back in his seat, fingers still drumming absently against the wheel. "Taehyung does this sometimes. He'll come back when he's ready."

Jungkook didn't look convinced, but he didn't argue either. With a shake of his head, he climbed out of the car and followed Minji inside, leaving just me and Jimin in the quiet.

I should've left too. I should've followed them in and pretended like nothing was wrong.

But I couldn't.

Jimin let out a small sigh, turning to look at me. "Areum."

I swallowed hard. "What?"

He didn't speak right away. Instead, he studied me, his gaze calm but knowing, like he was peeling back the layers of whatever I was trying to hide.

"You know why he left, don't you?" His voice was gentle, but the weight of the question still pressed against my chest.

I looked away, staring at my hands in my lap. "I don't know."

It wasn't a lie. Not entirely.

I didn't know the exact reason Taehyung had left-but I had a feeling. A terrible, sinking feeling that I was at the center of it.

Jimin hummed quietly, like he didn't quite believe me but wasn't going to push.

"Come inside," he said instead, reaching for the door handle. "You'll just drive yourself crazy sitting out here."

He wasn't wrong.

And I hated this.

This uncertainty. This ache in my chest that refused to fade.

I had spent so much time convincing myself that I had moved on. That Jimin was my past and that Taehyung was just a friend. That I wasn't leading him on, that I wasn't giving him hope where there was none.

But when he looked at me like that-when he walked away like I had already made my choice-

I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore.

And that terrified me.

"Hey."

Jimin's voice pulled me from my thoughts. I turned to find him watching me, his brows slightly furrowed, "Come on."

He didn't say anything else. He didn't have to.

Because in the silence, in the way his gaze softened just slightly-

I knew he understood.

And maybe that was the worst part.

Because if Jimin could see it-if he could see the mess I had made-

Then maybe it was only a matter of time before I had to face it, too.

━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━

Taehyung's pov

The night air was sharp against my skin, the wind rolling in from the ocean carrying the scent of salt and something distant-something that felt like home and heartbreak all at once.

I exhaled, rubbing a hand over my face as I leaned against the railing of the rooftop, staring out at the restless waves. The tide had pulled back, leaving behind dark, glistening sand, the reflection of the moon rippling across the water.

I should have stayed gone.

Coming back felt like a mistake.

But the beach house was the only place I could go.

I had spent hours wandering the city after leaving the bar, letting the neon lights and muffled chatter of strangers drown out the mess in my head. My phone had buzzed a few times-Jimin's text, Jungkook's missed call-but I hadn't answered. I couldn't.

And now, standing here, listening to the waves crash against the shore, I still wasn't sure if I had the strength to face them.

To face her.

My fingers tightened around the railing as my father's voice echoed in my head, sharp and cutting even through the distance.

"Do you even think about what this is doing to us?"

"You had a future, Taehyung. You threw it away for ink and rebellion."

"You are embarrassing this family."

I swallowed, my jaw clenching. I could still hear the disappointment in his voice, the sheer disbelief that his son-his only son-had chosen this path.

Like art was something shameful.

Like the ink that stained my skin was a stain on him, too.

I had known for years that I was a disappointment. I had felt it in the way my father looked at me, in the way my mother sighed when she thought I wasn't listening. But hearing it out loud, hearing him say it like my dreams were some kind of disease-

I squeezed my eyes shut, my fingers pressing into my temples.

I shouldn't have answered the call. I should have let it ring, let him leave another voicemail filled with words I'd never listen to. But some small, stupid part of me had still wanted to believe he cared.

That maybe this time, he was calling for something else.

Something more.

Footsteps sounded behind me, light against the wooden planks of the rooftop. I didn't turn.

I didn't have to.

"Taehyung?"

Minji.

I sighed but didn't answer, keeping my gaze fixed on the ocean. A part of me hoped she'd take the hint and leave.

But Minji was Minji.

She never left.

She stepped closer, stopping a few feet away. "I saw you come up here." A pause. "You okay?"

A humorless laugh slipped from my lips before I could stop it. You okay? Such a simple question.

I could lie. I could say yeah, I'm fine and wait for her to go back inside, back to the warmth and the people and the normalcy I felt so far removed from.

But I was tired.

And Minji was one of the few people who wouldn't push too hard, who would let me sit in my silence without demanding an explanation.

So I didn't lie.

Instead, I let out a slow breath and murmured, "My dad called."

She didn't say anything right away, but I felt her shift beside me, arms resting against the railing. "And?"

"And..." I exhaled, dragging a hand through my hair. "And he reminded me how much of a disappointment I am."

The words felt heavier in the open air, like speaking them made them more real.

Minji was quiet for a moment. Then, she said, "You know that's not true, right?"

I huffed, shaking my head. "He doesn't see it that way."

"Then he's wrong."

I finally turned to look at her. Her expression was serious, eyes steady as she met my gaze.

She had always been like this. No bullshit. No sugarcoating.

Just truth.

I swallowed, my throat tight. "I just-" I let out a shaky breath. "I just don't get it. Why does it matter so much to him? Why can't he just-just be proud of me?"

Her expression softened. "Because some people only know how to love through control."

I let the words settle, staring back at the waves.

Control.

That was what it had always been about. The expectations, the pressure, the constant push toward a version of myself I never wanted to be. My father had mapped out my life before I even had a say in it, and the moment I deviated from that path, I had become a failure in his eyes.

"It's not like I never tried," I muttered. "I did everything they wanted. I went to school. I followed the damn plan. But it never felt like me."

She nodded. "So you chose yourself instead."

I blinked, taken aback by how simple she made it sound.

Like it wasn't a betrayal. Like it wasn't selfish.

Like it was brave.

A shaky breath left me. "It's not supposed to be this hard, is it?" My voice cracked at the end, and I hated it.

Hated how raw I felt.

Minji's voice was gentle but firm. "It's always hard when you choose yourself. Because people don't like losing control of you."

I let her words sink in, let them settle in the parts of me that felt too heavy to carry alone.

For a long time, neither of us spoke. The wind picked up, rustling through the palm trees below, the sound of the ocean filling the silence.

And then-

"Is that why you left the bar?" She asked, her voice careful. "Because of the call?"

I hesitated.

Lying would be easy. Saying yes would be easy.

But that wasn't the whole truth.

My fingers curled around the railing. "No," I admitted. "It wasn't just that."

She didn't press, but she didn't need to. She already knew.

Areum.

The way she looked at me. The way she didn't.

The hesitation in her voice, the doubt in her eyes.

I had spent months waiting in the background, convincing myself it didn't matter, that I didn't need more than what she was willing to give.

But now?

"For what it's worth," she said softly, "your dad's wrong. About everything."

I froze.

Minji smiled, but it wasn't her usual teasing smirk. It was smaller, steadier. "You're one of the best people I know, Tae. And whether your dad sees it or not-that's on him. Not you."

My chest ached at the sincerity in her voice.

I forced a small smile, but it didn't quite reach my eyes. "Thanks."

She just nodded. "Of course."

Then, after a moment, she sighed. "Wanna tell me what is going on with you and Areum?"

I groaned. "Minji."

"What?" she laughed. "You think I didn't notice? She came back from that walk looking like she'd seen a ghost, and you've been brooding ever since."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I told her I liked her."

Her eyes widened. "You what?"

I let out a dry laugh. "Yeah. Great timing, right?"

She blinked. "And... what did she say?"

I hesitated. "She didn't."

Her face softened. "Oh, Tae."

"I mean, I get it," I said quickly, trying to act like it didn't hurt as much as it did. "She's been through a lot. And Jimin..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "I knew what I was getting into."

She frowned. "That doesn't mean it doesn't suck."

I let out a humorless laugh. "No. No, it doesn't."

The truth was, I had spent so long being patient. Being the friend, the safe space, the person she could lean on without expectations. But now? Now that I had finally said the words out loud, I couldn't take them back. I couldn't go back to pretending I didn't feel this way.

And maybe that was the scariest part.

Because now, the only thing left to do was wait.

Wait for her to figure out what she wanted.

Wait for her to decide if I was worth the risk.

And as much as I wanted to be hopeful-I wasn't sure if I could be.

Because hope had never done me any favors.

Minji didn't say anything right away. She just stood there, her arms resting against the railing, her gaze fixed on me like she was trying to piece together the parts of me I wasn't saying out loud.

And maybe she was.

After a long pause, she finally spoke.

"Do you think she'll choose you?"

The question hit harder than I expected. Not because I hadn't thought about it-but because I had. Over and over. And each time, I reached the same terrifying answer.

"I don't know," I admitted. My voice was quiet, nearly drowned out by the wind. "I want to believe she will. But-" I swallowed, my grip tightening on the railing. "I don't think she knows how."

She exhaled, nodding slowly. "Because of Jimin."

Because of everything. Because of the past she couldn't let go of. Because of the love that still lingered in the spaces between them.

"She loved him," I said, my throat tightening around the words. "Maybe she still does."

She turned fully toward me now, arms crossed over her chest. "And if she does?"

I forced out a small, bitter laugh. "Then I lose, Minji. Simple as that."

Her gaze softened. "You don't lose, Tae."

I scoffed. "It sure as hell feels like I do."

Because how was I supposed to compete with a history that deep? With a love that had already burned and healed and burned again?

I had spent so much time pretending I was fine with waiting. With standing on the sidelines while she figured things out. But now, after finally saying it, after finally laying my feelings bare-I wasn't sure how much longer I could do it.

How much longer I could pretend that being second choice didn't destroy me.

Minji sighed, shifting closer. "Look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you to be patient, or that everything will work out the way you want it to. Because honestly? I don't know if it will."

I clenched my jaw.

"But what I do know," she continued, her voice steady, "is that you deserve someone who chooses you. Without hesitation. Without fear."

I inhaled sharply, the weight of her words pressing against my ribs.

She reached out, squeezing my arm. "And if that's not Areum... then maybe it's time you stop waiting."

I swallowed, the thought settling like a stone in my chest.

Was it really that simple? Could I just... stop? Could I walk away from this, from her, from everything I had been holding onto for so damn long?

Or was I already in too deep?

I looked back toward the waves, my heart pounding against my ribs. The ocean stretched endlessly before me, dark and restless, like it held every answer I was too afraid to face.

And somewhere beneath the crashing tide, I felt it.

The sinking realization.

That maybe, no matter how much I wanted her-she wasn't mine to have.

I turned away before she could see the emotions tightening in my throat, before she could see the way her words had cracked something in me.

The house was quiet when I stepped inside, the others already asleep.

I lingered in the hallway for a moment, my gaze drifting toward the soft light spilling from the living room.

And then-without thinking-I glanced toward Areum's door.

A second passed.

Then another.

I clenched my jaw and turned away.

━━━━━━━⊱༒︎•༒︎⊰━━━━━━━

We're 45 chapters in, and I am still not getting the response I expected. Well I knew I wouldn't be getting much reads since this is my first book.

However I didn't think it would be this bad. There are no upvotes and comments whatsoever. The few that I have are from my sister. Am I doing anything wrong?

Please let me know. Whether it's the story line or my writing, anything. I would like to know so that I can make the changes.

I have around 30+ chapters saved in my drafts. So I will complete this book, I guess.

But I really hope you guys will support me, even if a little bit. It is truly very demotivating for me, especially since I am new to this world.

Anyways sorry for the rant. Please upvote and comment for me.🥺