33- Milady

Cat Noir's POV

Racing through the waters, I chase after Mooncaster, hoping to stop her before she can cause any more damage. This is the toughest villain I've fought, at least by myself. If Ladybug were here, she'd know what to do—

What is that?

A red and black shadow flies over me and I look up to catch it. It disappears. Was I seeing things? I could have sworn it looked like...

No. That's impossible. She's gone.

I jump out of the water, standing on the edge of a still-standing building. I need to hurry before Paris is covered in water. Mooncaster stands on top of the Eiffel Tower, taking pride in what she's done. "Revenge isn't your only option, Mooncaster!" I need to break Chloe's mind from Hawkmoth. It's the only way.

Mooncaster jumps and is now floating on a crater. Her eyes glow bright as she stares down at me. "You dare challenge me, Catfish?"

Offended, I shout, "Hey, I make the nicknames around here! Cataclysm!" I raise my hand and use my staff to extend myself, pressing a palm to the crater. It crumbles. Mooncaster and I fall in the water. I push myself forward, reaching for Mooncaster's clip when the water starts receding.

What?!

I throw my staff through the subway railing and hold on as the flood disappears. As I look back at Mooncaster, she's become Chloe again. Something red snatches the purple akuma and it becomes pure white.

That could only mean...

"Plagg, power down." Once the water's gone, I take off running, chasing blindly in the direction I saw that red glare. Adrenaline pumps through me. I'm probably chasing after a daydream, a hope, but I need to be sure. I had to be sure. There's the red and black shadow again. I run faster. I have to know. I turn down an alley and stop. My jaw drops and my eyes fall into a trance. There she is: Ladybug. Same old spots and pigtails. I must be dreaming. Ladybug gave up her miraculous. What if this is a trick from Hawkmoth? There's only one way to find out.

"Milady?"

Ladybug's raised arms falls and she spins around. It's her. She's here. She's real. Her eyes widen and she drops her yo-yo. "C-Cat Noir? What are you doing here?"

"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?" I walk up to her and I'm surprised she doesn't run. Thunder roars above us as it starts raining. "I thought you gave up your miraculous! What's going on?"

"I..." Ladybug takes in a deep breath and sighs. "It's a long story, Cat Noir."

I cross my arms and wait for her to continue. "Okay. I'm listening."

"Cat, I have to go! Master Fu said you couldn't see me."

"Oh, really? Well, bad luck I guess, huh?" Standing here in front of Ladybug, after all this time, is bringing out every emotion I've kept locked up. I finally moved on. I was okay without Ladybug. How can she come back and do this to me? "I'm waiting, Ladybug."

She frowns. "I-I saw how bad you were struggling with Mooncaster and I had to help! So I followed you and found Master Fu's secret location."

My eyes widen. "What? You followed me? Did... did you see me transform?"

"No, I swear!" She raises her right hand. "I looked away when you walked in and out. Bug's honor. I ran in and convinced Master Fu to give me the ladybug miraculous."

My cat ears perk up. "Wait, so you're back?"

"No, Kitty..." Ladybug shakes her head. "This was a one-time thing. I wasn't supposed to let you see me!"

"Why?"

"Because..." She stares at me, speechless. "Because I know how emotional you'd get."

I laugh. "Me? Emotional? Why wouldn't I be, Ladybug? You left me! You were gone for months. Do you know what that did to me, not having my partner anymore? No one to patrol with? No one to joke around and hang out with? I was so heartbroken and lonely all the time until you came along. You fixed everything. Then you went and disappeared on me like my mom."

"What?" Ladybug asks, confused.

"Never mind that." I shake my head. "These past few months haven't been so easy on me, Ladybug. I missed you! I didn't know when I'd see you again. I thought I lost my best friend forever. Time passed and weeks turned into months and I wasn't so heartbroken anymore. I fell in love. I became close to someone I truly care about, probably more than anyone. I let go. I moved on. I was okay with never seeing you again. That's what you told me to do, right? Just keep living?"

"Cat-"

I cut her off. "I was fine without you when you weren't planning on coming back! I had to move on or it would have killed me! And here you are now."

"Kitty, I'm so sorry." Ladybug steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder. Either a tear or raindrop runs down her cheek. I can't tell. "I promise, I never meant to do this to you. I thought I was careful. But you have to remember this isn't permanent-"

"No, don't do that to me." Tears fall as I shake my head at her. "You can't leave and come back and leave again and promise to come back. My heart's had enough."

Ladybug looks hurt. "So, what, do you hate me now or something?"

"I could never hate you, Ladybug! I love you! I have always loved you! Do you know long I spent waiting for you to come back? Long enough that I put my feelings for someone else on hold. I'm with someone now and I can't turn my back on her. I can't just go back and pretend like nothing changed."

"I'm glad you've found someone to make you happy, Cat Noir." Ladybug smiles and it fades away as her earrings beep. Only a few minutes left. "I wish I didn't have to go."

"Well, maybe you should." I turn away from her, starring at my ring as it beeps.

Ladybug steps in front of me. "No! Don't you dare do that, Cat Noir! Don't shut me out. Everything I've done has been to protect Paris! To protect you and me. To protect Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I just wish you could understand the pressure I'm under and try to sympathize. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you."

"Ladybug..." I close my eyes and ball my hands into fists. I can't look at her right now. Throwing my arms around her, I sob into her suit as fresh tears fall. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. It's just been so hard without you around, fighting villains on my own, patrolling by myself. Truth is, I'm happy to see you. Excited, even!" I pull back and finally look at her. She's crying, too. "But I can't lie and say that your appearance doesn't hurt me or doesn't make me angry and sad. The day you left my entire world fell."

Her earrings beep again. "Kitty..."

"I thought everything was pointless. Nothing mattered. Not without you, at least. There were so many times I almost..." I trail off, pushing the memories of reaching for that trophy away. "I can't do this right now. So much has changed and I can't go back to how it was before. I can't. I like where I am now. I like who's in my life. I am so head-over-heels in love with Marinette and she has kept me grounded. So..." I take a step back. "I need you to go now, Ladybug."

Ladybug stares at me, sobbing. "Marinette sounds like a very lucky girl."

A smile sneaks on my face. "She is."

Her earrings beep once more. After this her transformation falls. "I'm assuming you don't want to know who I am, right?" She asks, laughing.

The very thought of it crossed my mind once her earrings beeped the first time. I frown. I can't. Before I swore to always love the girl under the mask, but I can't betray Marinette like that. She's real. She's someone I can count on. "No. Not anymore. Not yet at least. Once Hawkmoth's defeated."

"Right." Ladybug takes in a deep breath. "Bug out, Kitty." She throws her yo-yo above us and leaps out of the alley.

My ring beeps before my transformation falls. I lean against the wall and throw myself on the ground, sobbing into my knees. The rain trails hard on my head. Plagg floats in front of my face. "Adrien? Are you okay, kid?"

"What do you think?" I snap, looking up to glare at my kwami. His big eyes are full of hurt. My heart sinks. "I'm sorry, Plagg. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's just... seeing Ladybug again-"

"I know." Plagg pats my cheek. "Trust me, it's a lot more complicated than you think. Things won't always be like this."

I hold Plagg in my hands and smile at him, offering him some wet cheese which he gladly accepts. "I feel bad for what I said to Ladybug."

"You should never apologize for your feelings. Just like how I'm not sorry for how I love cheese!" Plagg eats the block in one bite. "Did... did you really mean what you said, though?"

"About what?"

"About..." Plagg frowns and nestles his head back in my hand. I rub his small head. "Thinking of, you know..." He pretends to roll over and die.

A chuckle escapes me and I hand him another piece of cheese. "Yes, I really meant that. At least the first month or two Ladybug was gone. Then Marinette..." The thought of her puts a grin on my face. "I love her, Plagg."

"Yeah, yeah, kid. I know. She knows. Everyone knows." Plagg yawns and stretches. "Good things kwamis can phase because I hate the rain."

I roll my eyes. "You hate everything. Well, except for cheese."

"And you," Plagg whispers before adding, "And Marinette. She gives me cheese whenever I want."

"I'm glad your priorities are in order, Plagg."

I swear I hear him purr as I scratch his chin. "So, what are we gonna do now? Go for a swim? Take a cat nap? Eat some more cheese?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"