6: Sirius Black - Fourteen Years

Warning! Angst approaching, but of course there's a happy ending.

Note: I think this is possibly one of the best oneshots I've ever written, I'm so proud of it and I hope you'll all like it.

House: Gryffindor

 Sirius Black and I had been together for almost an entire year and we were happy together, or so I thought. Sirius' friends had always told me that he seemed to have genuine smiles on his face since being with me, as opposed to the flirtatious smirks he'd wear prior. We were known around Hogwarts as the couple, most being surprised that the flirtatious Sirius Black was in a solid relationship with someone he loved dearly.

I felt like the luckiest girl on the planet, being his girlfriend, but it was also frustrating because girls still liked to flirt with him. He'd always take it as a joke before slinging his arm around my shoulder and kissing my cheek reassuringly, something which satisfied me greatly.

One day after a particularly brilliant Quidditch match which resulted in Gryffindor thrashing Ravenclaw by over four-hundred points, a party was thrown in the common room. Some of the older students had managed to get a few bottles of firewhiskey from Hogsmeade, and music was being played loudly on the radio. Everyone was laughing away, dancing and talking, the party looking as though it'd go on all night but thankfully the next day was a Saturday.

I had spent a lot of the evening with Sirius, however during the last fifteen minutes I had lost sight of him after spending some time talking to James and the other chasers of the team. I wandered around the room trying to find him but with no avail. "(y/n), you look lost," Remus chuckled as he approached.

"I can't find Sirius, do you know where he's gone?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I'll check the boys dorm, he might be getting more firewhiskey," Remus pointed out and I nodded. When he was gone I thought it'd be a good idea to check outside the common room, however when I stepped through the portrait hole my stomach twisted with horror. Standing before me, pinning a fifth year to the wall was my boyfriend, his lips latched onto hers in a fiery kiss. He had his hand up her top, it rested on her breast whilst she tore at his shirt, one of her legs being wrapped around his waist tightly. I watched in horror as they kept on going, and I felt tears come to my eyes almost immediately. The guy I loved, the guy I thought loved me was busy making out and touching a star struck girl from a younger year.

"S-Sirius," I squeaked, my voice shaking slightly. Suddenly my boyfriend pulled away from the girl and turned to look at me.

"(y/n)- I-," he glanced back at the (h/c) girl who he had pinned up against the wall. He immediately let go of her, stepping away and turning towards me with a pleading look upon his face. "It's not what it looks like!" He said quickly. I merely scoffed, letting the tears fall shamelessly. The girl attempted to wrap her arms around Sirius but he pushed her away. I however didn't fancy standing around listening to some undoubtedly lame excuse.

"We're over," I said simply, trying not to let my voice break. I could break down when I was alone in my dorm room, which was exactly where I planned on going after I dealt with this mess.

"N-no, (y/n), wait!" Sirius pleaded but I turned on my heel.

"I'm sorry I wasn't enough to quench your thirst for attention," I hissed. "We're finished Sirius, and that's final," I said, trying to be strong but breaking down inside. I ran back into the common room, past Remus who had just come down from the dorms staircase and up to my room where there was thankfully nobody. Everyone was probably still down at the party, enjoying themselves.

I broke down, my heart shattered into a million pieces as I gripped my pillow and rocked back and forth on my bed. I glanced over to the string of Polaroids I had hanging above my bed and ripped the ones of Sirius and I off, throwing them to the floor carelessly. I screamed into my pillow, unsure on how I was ever going to recover from such a heartache.

- Sirius' POV -

My vision had now cleared, the intense amount of firewhiskey having made my eyesight a little blurred and my head a little fogged. I turned to the voice that had just mumbled my name and for a second I was confused, seeing my girlfriend standing there with hurt written upon her face. "(y-y/n)- I-," I murmured, slightly confused at the fact there were two (y/n)'s, one I was making out with and another stood in front of the portrait hole. I then glanced at the girl in front of me, realising something horrific. The girl I believed to be my girlfriend was in fact not. She was wearing a similar outfit, had similar (h/l) (h/c) hair, she was the same height but she was not her. Had I really gotten that drunk to mistake someone else as my girlfriend? "It's not what it looks like!" I cried, realising the severity of the situation. The girl attempted to wrap her arms around me but I immediately pushed her away, guilt piling up inside of me as I saw the aching look of pain upon (y/n)'s face.

"We're over," she spoke the words I was dreading most. I loved her, I truly did, but in this situation she was obviously doubting that fact immensely. The likelihood of her believing that I thought this girl was her was incredibly slim, despite it being fact.

"N-no, (y/n), wait!" I pleaded, desperately needing a chance to explain myself.

"I'm sorry I wasn't enough to quench your thirst for attention," she hissed and my heart cracked in two. "We're finished Sirius, and that's final."

She stormed back inside the common room and as fast as lightening I followed her, calling out to her. The common room was busy however, and I was having difficulty weaving through the many people in my drunken form. I did however spot her going up the stairs leading to the girls dorm, and as I tried to follow her up them they turned into the slide, causing me to fall all the way back down. I desperately tried again and again but to no avail.

"Padfoot?" Remus' voice spoke next to me. "What are you doing?"

"(y/n), I need to talk to (y/n)!" I spoke desperately.

"Why're you crying?" He asked suddenly. "Wait... has she broken up with you?"

"I did a terrible thing Moony," I mumbled before telling him the whole story. He sighed and dragged me up to our dorm room, putting me in my bed. He told me to get some sleep and that we'd try and figure out a way to sort things out the next day.

- Timeskip -

It had been a few days since the incident, since she broke it off and I hadn't seen her once. She never skipped classes, so I was surprised when I didn't see her on the Monday or the Tuesday. Apparently Lily, who was disgusted in me hurting one of her closest friends, took her food. Pain was flooding my body with every day that went by and all I wanted to do was see her and hold her again. I loved her.

I made it very clear to the fifth year girl that I never wanted to see her again, although I knew that the blame lied with me. When (y/n) did finally emerge from her room, she looked terrible. She had puffy eyes, them so obviously having cried lots, her hair was messy, her uniform was askew and she seemed like a ghost of her former self. I tried on multiple occasions to talk to her but her friends were acting like bodyguards and it was irritating the hell out of me.

Time passed and I never got the chance to explain myself. There was never a situation where we were alone together, and there was never even a situation where I could ask to talk to her. As the weeks went on the hurt inside of me was rising exponentially, especially when I realised that she seemed to be healing with time. She was smiling again, but the smiles weren't because of me. She was laughing again, but the laughs weren't because of me. She was talking happily again, but she was never talking to me.

- (y/n)'s POV -

It was painful, the most painful experience that I had ever had to deal with, but he obviously didn't want me and that was something I had to accept. For the remainder of my time at Hogwarts I was trying to get over my feelings for him but it was hard, given the fact I hung out with Lily and the other Marauders. I never spoke to him directly and avoided eye contact with him at all costs. According to Remus he still had feelings for me, James claimed he was still head over heels in love with me, but seeing him make out with that girl told me otherwise. He was and apparently always will be a ladies man, a guy who liked to play with their feelings.

As the year was coming to a close, I found it easier to speak to him again. It was slightly awkward between us, and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and kiss his enticing lips but I had to restrain myself. Of course feelings for him lingered but time was a great healer, and I didn't feel anywhere near as heartbroken as I was. I was glad about this as I didn't want to become an outcast, although Lily assured me that would never happen anyway.

Still, due to the slight feelings that remained, I found myself longing for his attention. Conversations between the two of us were still limited and we rarely spoke without a third party. Even after Hogwarts we still saw a lot of each other due to the fact Lily and James now had a house together. They often invited us all over for get togethers, us all happy we could stay in touch after Hogwarts. We were all particularly happy when we found out Lily was pregnant, even if it was an accident. Peter didn't seem as excited as the rest of us, even though we found out the same day that James had proposed to Lily. I on the other hand was ecstatic, particularly when she asked me to be her maid of honour and James asked Sirius to be his best man.

Naturally, being her maid of honour, I was helping Lily pick out her wedding dress. She was busy changing whilst I was having a look at some on the stands, unable to stop thinking about the idea of me wearing one and walking down the isle to my groom, my mind automatically seeing the groom as Sirius. I was snapped from my thoughts however when I heard a curtain being pulled back, Lily then emerging in the beautiful white dress. She had tried several on, but this, this was the one.

Tears of happiness for my best friend came to my eyes and I couldn't help but hug her. "This one, it has to be this one," I assured her.

"(y/n), why're you crying so much?" She laughed, wiping my tears but a sense of realisation hit her. "It's Sirius, isn't it?"

"N-no... no, I'm fine," I mumbled, wiping my eyes on my sleeve but she sighed and looked at me expectantly. "I-I- I think I'm still in love with him."

"I had a feeling that was the case," Lily admitted.

"But how can I be after what he did?" I asked, mainly asking myself and again Lily sighed.

"We can't choose who we love (y/n). I know it's confusing, but... if you truly love him then I think you need to give love another chance," she said. "He's matured (y/n), they all have. Think about it, alright?"

I did just as Lily suggested, and found myself unable to stop thinking about it. The wedding was quickly organised, Lily not wanting to have the bump visible during it. The photographer on the day forced Sirius and I to have a photo taken together, him having to put his arm around me. For that mere moment I felt as though everything was perfect again, that I would look up at him and he'd lean in to kiss me. His grip around my waist was tight as the photographer took the photo, however once he was done Sirius pulled away, muttering an apology under his breath before walking away. Hearing him say sorry broke my heart and I ended up having a little cry in the bathroom. Finally building up enough courage I stepped out and decided I was going to get drunk and hopefully forget about my troublesome feelings for Sirius.

That didn't quite go to plan however, as the next morning I found myself waking up naked next to him. Last night was a complete blur, but I did remember stumbling into the hotel room, our lips locked in a fierce battle. Panic was rising inside of me and my head was pounding from the amount of alcohol I had consumed. I could tell by the furnishings in the room that we were in the same hotel the wedding was held in, meaning I had my room to go back to. As quickly and as quietly as I could I slipped back into my dress, not even bothering to do it up, then grabbing my heels and leaving to head to my room. As soon as I was inside I slid down the closed door, regretting my decision to get as drunk as possible.

After that night things between us reached the top tier of awkwardness. The more time passed the more of the night I remembered, and it was probably the best I had ever had. Now however we could barely look at each other, let alone speak. I decided to be a grown up about the situation though, and I refused to let his presence affect me, I refused to let my love for him stand in the way of us all hanging out as a group.

When Harry was born, the whole group asides Peter, who had been acting strange recently, were utterly moved. James was crying with happiness and as I held Harry in my arms I decided that I too wanted a child. The only problem was that whenever I thought about the idea of having a child, I always thought about Sirius being the father.

Seeing the way he played with Harry melted my heart, and one afternoon whilst we were all over at theirs I found myself staring at him. He was sat on the floor, raising Harry into the air making him giggle happily. Before I could stop myself I found myself walking up to the pair of them, sitting next to him. He stopped throwing Harry in the air, turning towards me, slightly surprised by my action. "Hey," I said simply.

"Hey," he sounded somewhat nervous but I sent him a reassuring smile.

"He's the sweetest, isn't he," I said, poking at Harry's cheek.

"Yeah he is," Sirius chuckled and when I looked at him I saw his eyes already upon me.

"I want one," I admitted before I could help myself.

"Me too," he whispered. My heart was racing a million miles per hour as we stared at each other, the tension being intense.

"There's the baby!" James suddenly said, making the two of us jump and look away from each other. "Oh and Harry's here too," James added, laughing.

"You're so hilarious, Prongs," Sirius said sarcastically, standing and handing Harry to his father.

"C'mon you two, everyone's in the garden," James took the lead, walking towards the back door. Sirius and I glanced at each other quickly before following, then sitting on opposite sides of the garden table and stealing the occasional glance.

- Timeskip -

My stomach twisted with pain as Remus stood at my door, telling me the news. Lily and James had had to disappear, and go into hiding given the fact they were now being specifically targeted by You-Know-Who. My heart broke and I couldn't help but cry, wondering when I was going to be able to see my best friend again. Remus informed me that they had a secret keeper, it being Sirius and I was immediately scared for him as well, in case the death eaters found out and tortured the information out of him. "This has all been advised by Dumbledore, (y/n), they'll be okay. Plus Sirius would sooner die than give up their location," Remus had said to me. However one month later our whole world came crashing down.

I had heard the news from Moody who immediately took me to the site, and when I saw the house that had been blown to pieces I couldn't help but break-down. Two arms suddenly wrapped around me and I looked up to see Remus, holding me tightly, tears leaking from his eyes also. I cried heavily into his chest, realising that two of my best friends had been violently murdered.

"I know (y/n), I know," Remus whispered soothingly. "They caught him though..."

"C-caught him? They caught You-Know-Who?" I exclaimed but Remus furrowed his eyebrows.

"No, they caught- they caught-," it seemed as though he was having difficulty saying what he wanted to say. "They caught Sirius."

"W-what... why?" I asked quickly and Remus frowned more, wearing a look of pure disappointment.

"Because he betrayed them! He was working for the dark side, this whole damn time! He even killed Peter! He sold James and Lily to Voldemort, then killed Peter when he tried to stop him-,"

"That's absurd! Sirius would never do anything like that! He's on our side!" I shouted, pushing Remus away.

"What other explanation is there? He was their secret-keeper (y/n), the only person who knew they had moved here! He betrayed them!"

"Remus you're being stupid, Sirius would never ever do anything like that! He's disgusted by the dark side, as if he would ever wish to join them!" I screamed.

"How can you trust him after what he did to you?!" Remus shouted loudly, angering me more.

"How can you not trust him after everything he's done for you?!" I screamed at him, fists clenched. Remus remained quiet, turning away from me. "I never expected this from you Remus. I thought you were his friend," I sobbed. Remus stiffened up, but suddenly a loud crack nearby caught our attention. We both turned to see Dumbledore approaching, and immediately I ran up to our old headmaster. "Professor! Professor, Sirius is innocent, he's innocent I swear it!" I pleaded but Dumbledore sighed.

"I'm afraid the evidence is against him, (y/n)," Dumbledore said calmly, this simply angering me more.

"Evidence? What evidence?" I cried.

"There's evidence proving that Sirius murdered Peter!" Remus shouted and I turned to him, fists clenched, ready to punch him.

"Bullshit! How dare you! After everything he did for you and you just turn your back on him! You bastard, you pathetic bastard Remus Lupin!" I cried, drawing my wand and storming towards him.

"(y/n)," Dumbledore's stern voice spoke, stopping me in my tracks. Tears were leaking from my eyes like a waterfall, unable to believe that such a thing had happened. Three of my best friends were dead, one wasn't even bothering to defend the innocent and the man I loved was on his way to Azkaban. I collapsed onto the ground, letting out the sobs.

"W-what about Harry?" I asked quickly, looking up at Dumbledore.

"He's gone to live with Lily's sister-,"

"Please, please let me take care of him, please!" I begged but he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, as long as he has living relatives he has to be with them," Dumbledore said and I gritted my teeth.

"I'm going home," I murmured. "Let me know when the funerals are. And I never, ever want to see you again," I turned to Remus, glaring at him as tears streaked down my face. I didn't care that he looked hurt and instead apparated home, breaking down once inside.

- Twelve Years Later -

I barely saw Remus after that night. I ignored the majority of his letters, still feeling insulted that he didn't believe Sirius was innocent. Somehow whoever was truly behind the attack had managed to frame him, but who could have done it so successfully?

When I saw that Sirius had escaped from Azkaban I was shocked, wondering how he had managed such a thing. It was straight after the release of the headline that I received another letter from Remus, the first in two years. He also told me that he was now a professor at Hogwarts and would be teaching Harry, something which I was jealous of.

I still believed whole-heartedly that Sirius was innocent, and I still loved him despite the fact I had gotten married and had a child during the time he was locked away however it was my feelings for Sirius that caused the marriage to break apart.

I hoped more than anything that Sirius was out there and that he was safe. I wanted him to be safe and well, but being on the run from the Ministry was surely intense. It was another dull weekend of not having anything to do when suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. When I answered it I was shocked to see Remus, him looking incredibly worse for wear. "(y/n) I have news... a lot of news actually..."

I stared at the man before letting him inside, telling him to go to the kitchen. Our relationship was rocky at best but he had still been over a fair few times to see my daughter who was currently at her fathers house. "So, what do you want?" I asked in a slightly harsher tone than I intended.

"I've seen Sirius," he said simply. I stood frozen, my heart having stopped beating. Suddenly my legs turned to jelly and I found myself collapsing on the chair opposite him. "Not only that but- but I know he's innocent... I know what happened that night, (y/n)," Remus began explaining everything, how Peter was alive, how Sirius had convinced James to make Peter their secret-keeper because Sirius was too much of an obvious choice. He told me how it was Peter who had betrayed them, how he cut off his finger to make it look like Sirius had annihilated him before turning into a rat and living the past twelve years in his rat form.

I was having difficulty processing all of this information. I stood and turned away, my hand over my mouth and tears leaking from my eyes. Sirius truly was innocent. "(y/n) you- you have no idea how sorry I am... you're right, I was horrible for not trusting him, I was horrible for not believing him, I was the worst friend he could've ever had-,"

"Take me to him," I said sharply, turning to face him.

"What?"

"Take me to him, right now, please Remus," I begged, actually getting on my knees in front of him. "Please Remus, I'm begging you, I need to see him, I need to tell him how in love I am with him! Take me to him now and I'll forgive you completely!"

Remus took my hand, the two of us apparating to a posh looking park. In front of us was a row of incredibly expensive looking houses, and I watched as Remus waved his wand at a particular point between two of them. To my astonishment the two houses began to separate, another house growing in between them.

When it finished Remus gestured for me to enter, and slowly I did so, finding the interior to be incredibly eerie. The walls and carpets were black with intricate grey decorative patterns, however the wall-lamps that lit the hall were incredibly dusty and had cobwebs hanging from them. There were large wooden rickety doors either side of the hall, but behind me Remus gestured for me to continue walking. Up ahead I heard the sound of creaking floor boards and my heart stopped when Sirius appeared from round the corner up ahead.

My heart was in my mouth and tears of happiness were already in my eyes. He seemed shocked, seeing me here in front of him but his shocked expression soon turned into a soft smile. "(y/n)," he whispered my name and I almost broke down, having dreamt of hearing him say my name once more. As fast as I could I ran up to him, throwing my arms around him and burying my head in his chest. He immediately wrapped his arms around me also, holding me so tightly it was like he never wanted to let go. "Did you miss me?"

"More than you could possibly know, Sirius," I cried, looking up to soak in his features. There was obvious ware on his face, naturally caused by his time in Azkaban but he still had his long hair, his gorgeous smirk and his dark yet sparkling eyes. "Sirius I love you, I love you so much," I found myself saying before I could stop myself. His smiled warmed my heart as he held onto me even tighter.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that," he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to tell you," I admitted. He cupped my cheeks lovingly, before pulling me into a warm and familiar kiss. I felt like I was in a dream, one that I wished I would never wake up from. His soft lips, his stubble against my chin, his arms holding me tightly all felt so welcoming and brought back so many happy memories.

We pulled our lips apart but kept our foreheads resting against each other, not wanting to leave the others arms. "I love you (y/n), so much," he whispered soothingly.

"I love you too Sirius, more than you could ever know."