Epilogue

Please take note of the time indicators since this will mostly be in flashbacks. 💙💕

Trigger warning: Mentions suicide.

***

Tay.

Two months before the wedding.

"If you're not gonna exert this kind of effort when I get married, I'm seriously disowning you," Arm huffed as he plopped down on the sofa. In his hand was a list of clothes needed for the wedding.

"Tss. Get yourself a lover first before you blabber nonsense. You're aging yet you still haven't settled with one girl," Off interjected. Beside him was Gun who was busy scrolling through the pictures of the food sent by the chef I personally hired for the event.

"Like duhhhh. I'm just stating you need to exert effort on mine as well. And Tay, why would you want to be hands on with everything? You can just let your people take care of it," Arm gave me a confused look.

"Can you not argue? If there's someone who's gonna suffer the most, it's gonna be me. Do you know how hard is it to keep a secret from a very close friend? He's been sulking about you being passive about your wedding. He thinks that you're having second thoughts about marrying him!" Gun raised his eyebrows as he pointed a finger at me. "And seriously, what's with the date? We all know that he doesn't like remembering that day."

"I just wanna surprise him, okay? I, I wanted to give him something memorable, something he'll remember for the rest of our lives. I wanted to erase the painful memory of that day and replace it with a promise that I'll never leave him again no matter what happens. That's why we have to make sure that everything is going to be perfect. It has to be perfect," I emphasized the word perfect as I looked at them alternately.

We were in the midst of our discussion when someone started hitting our heads.

"Ouch! What's wrong with you, old hag??" Arm retaliated at Mild who had a folder in her hand.

"Stop. Calling. Me. That!" Mild gritted through her teeth as she hit Arm again as she uttered each word.

"Why don't you be together instead? I'll sponsor your wedding," I grinned at them.

"Fuck you, Tay!" they exclaimed in unison and looked at each other with utmost disgust.

Mild then plopped down on the sofa beside me.

"I've already talked to the supplier. Every flower you listed is available so there's nothing to worry about. By the way," she then rummaged through her bag and handed me something. "Here."

I raised my eyebrow as I looked at the familiar camera in her hand.

"Don't tell me you forgot about this? It's my gift for you on our 2nd anniversary. You returned this to me because you didn't want to keep anything that would remind you of me. I was decluttering my stuff when I found this," she explained.

"Then why are you giving this to me?" I asked in confusion because why would she give me back something that I had already returned.

"You might wanna check the photos you saved in here," she smiled as she placed the camera in my hand. "I gotta go. I still have to check the other details for your wedding," she tapped my shoulder before heading out of the room.

I stared at the camera in my hand and turned it on. It seemed that Mild had replaced the battery.

I couldn't recall any photos that I had in the camera since it had been such a long time.

I pushed the gallery button to check the photos and I might have shed a tear upon the seeing the last photo that I took using that camera.

————————————————

11 years ago.

"You have never lost a photography contest before. Tay, I know your breakup with Mild has affected you, but come on. How in the world did you let that affect your performance? This is your last contest in high school. Don't you think it's a waste?" Off tapped my shoulder.

Well, he was right. It was definitely a waste considering that we were graduating that year and that contest should have been my biggest one.

The event was held in one of the most prestigious schools in Bangkok, just an one-hour ride away from mine. It was an interschool photography contest which was sponsored by an international organization and I just lost my chance of grabbing the grand prize.

"How am I supposed to take the best shot when the topic is about happiness? We just broke up two days ago. You can't expect me to be okay in such a short period of time."

"What I'm saying is, if she doesn't want to be with you anymore, you can't do anything about it. You have to move on and keep going."

"Yeah, I know," I replied sparingly and forced a smile. " I gotta go. Mom's waiting for me."

Off tapped my back one more time before heading towards his car. I heaved a deep sigh before heading towards mine but a loud sound caught my attention.

There in the middle of the wide field were three students who were running around while chasing a soccer ball. But what caught my attention was the guy who was laughing while his two friends kept stumbling as they continued chasing the ball.

He looked so happy. Like he had nothing to worry about in life as he clutched his stomach due to too much laughter and in some way, it put a smile on my face.

I mindlessly grabbed the camera from my bag and snapped a photo.

***

8 years ago.

"Are you okay?" Arm asked as he handed me a glass of wine.

"Yeah," I replied nonchalantly as I grabbed the glass tightly.

"I know you're in so much pain but I'm sure Aom wouldn't want to see you like this."

"I, I know. But you just can't blame me if I wouldn't be able to move on that easily from her, her death. I, I don't know. I just, I just don't know what to do. I, I can no longer see my future now that she's gone," I bit the sides of my cheek to stifle my cry but my effort proved to be useless as I let out the tears that I'd been keeping since I knew about Aom's death.

Arm didn't say anything and just slowly rubbed my back to comfort me.

"As much as I wanted to accompany you, my dad's looking for me," Arm said after reading a message on his phone.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine," I gave him a faint smile and nodded at him, telling him that I'd be fine on my own.

I was in the middle of wallowing in sadness and sorrow when I heard loud footsteps coming to the balcony.

"Oh, shit. This event is as boring as fuck. I'd definitely die if I stayed any longer," a young man grumbled as he approached my direction.

He still hadn't noticed me since he kept looking at his back. It seemed that he was checking if someone was following him.

I just looked at him as he wiped the sweat on his forehead before grabbing his phone from his pocket. I squinted my eyes as I looked at him for at some point, he looked familiar but I couldn't recall where I had seen him.

"Hello?? Yaaaah. Where are you?? My dad's looking for me already. If I spend another minute in this event, I'd probably lose my mind. The boredom is making me fucking insane! Okay, okay. Call me when you've arrived. I still have to look for ways to escape my dad. See you!"

By the looks of it, it seemed that he was panicking. He scanned the area probably to look for ways to escape and eventually froze the moment his gaze landed on me.

He didn't say anything and neither did I. We just stared at each other for a moment. I was trying my best to recall where I had seen him when he broke the silence between us.

"You okay?" he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Huh?"

"Your eyes are swollen and it looks like you haven't slept for days. Oh shit! Are you trying to kill yourself?!" he gasped as he pointed his finger at me.

"Excuse me?" I asked in utter confusion. Why would he think I was about to commit suicide? Well, it did cross my mind several times to the point that I almost drowned myself in our pool.

Ever since then, my family and close friends kept a close watch on me. Aom's death just definitely took a tool on me that living seemed useless for me.

It was then that I noticed that he was pointing at the stain of red wine on my inner suit, right on my abdomen. The waiter accidentally spilled some on me earlier as I was rather preoccupied and ended up bumping into him.

The lights on the balcony were slightly dim that was probably why he didn't notice that it was just red wine.

"It's not what yo-," I tried explaining but he suddenly approached me in big strides and grabbed me into a hug.

I tried pushing him away because I was startled with how he acted. Why would a stranger embrace me out of nowhere?

"What the hell are you doing?!" I pushed him away and aimed a punch on the face, but he just grabbed my arms and pulled me into a hug again.

"Shhhhhhhh. It's okay. Whatever you're going through, you have to be strong to face all of them. Giving up is not the only option, okay? You have to keep moving forward. Life is beautiful. Don't waste it," he muttered tenderly.

I froze when he started rubbing my back and for some reason, it comforted me.

I was about to respond when his phone rang.

"Wait," he then broke our embrace and answered his phone. "Yeah, okay, okay. I'll be there."

"What—"

"I don't personally know you but remember that you have to enjoy life. We only live once. Make that count," he grabbed my shoulders and slightly shook them. "I gotta go. My friends are waiting. Don't go anywhere. I'm gonna call help along the way," he said rapidly as he headed back to the hall.

I remained rooted on my place, perplexed with what just happened.

Minutes later, a whole medical team arrived at the area and I just stood there laughing at what happened.

***

After the wedding

"Hmmmmmm. Do you always smell this good??" New nuzzled my neck as he scooted closer and wrapped his arms tighter around my waist.

"You're the only one who says that," I smiled as I started running my fingers through his hair.

"By the way, I just wanna ask, why the balcony? I mean, of all places, why there? I mean the wedding was beautiful. It was everything that I could ever ask for, but I'm just curious why you chose that one."

"Don't you really remember that night?"

I chuckled when he slapped my stomach all of sudden.

"You keep talking about that yet you won't even tell me! Come ooon. What is it??" he whined as he continued hitting my stomach lightly.

"I won't tell you," I chuckled when he rolled his eyes at me. "Did you know that I've been wanting to see you again after that night but I couldn't seem to find you anywhere."

"The hell are you talking about?"

I hugged him tighter and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I just want you to know that you saved me that night."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm glad I helped you in some way even if I don't exactly know what I did."

"And, I want you to know that you're the reason I chose to teach in your university."

"Huh? What do you mean?" he furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at me.

But I didn't say anything and just grinned before pinning him on the bed, kissing him fully on the lips.

***

5 years ago.

"You don't have to bother yourself, Tay. I can go to work by myself," Kao said while we were on our way to his part time job.

"It's okay, Kao. It's the least I can do for you."

Silence dominated the atmosphere for a moment.

"I know that I begged you to be my boyfriend but can you at least make me feel special?"

I abruptly stepped on the brakes as Kao started crying.

"Kao, I, I'm sorry. I already told I have someone I like."

"But you still haven't found him! You don't even know where on earth he is. So please, Tay, just be with me until you find him. I'll, I'll let you go by then."

"I'm so sorry, Kao if I can't give you the same type of love that you're giving me," I apologized sincerely. I knew my apology wouldn't be enough to compensate for his feelings but I was hoping he'd feel my sincerity.

He didn't say anything and just started fiddling with his fingers.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel as I listened to Kao's stifled cries. I didn't want to be in this situation in the first place, but I owed him so much that I couldn't say no to him. He was there when I needed someone the most and he offered me comfort when I needed one.

I was confused. I didn't want to hurt him by staying with him, but leaving him alone would hurt him as well.

"It's, it's okay. I was the one who dragged you into this situation anyway. Just tell me if you've already found him. I-I promise to let you go. Just give me enough time so I can prepare myself," he forced a smile as he reached out for my hand.

I was drowned in my own thoughts when a group of loud students caught my attention. It was when I noticed that we were in front of a university.

And destiny might have wanted me to finally answer all my confusions as I laid my eyes on that very person.

***

A/N:

Hi lovies!

Again, thank you so much for your constant support since the beginning.

I'll be working on My Favorite Place next so I hope you'll also give it a try. 😅😅

Until next time. I love you all! 💙💕

_ladycrookshanks