S. F. - 22

***

New.

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I tossed my phone on the bed after calling P'Tay for the nth time. It had been three days since my graduation and I hadn't heard anything from him since then. I didn't even have the chance to talk to him that time as they immediately left. I even went to his unit, hoping he'd be there waiting for me to come to him, but I ended up knocking on his door for hours.

I didn't want to jump to conclusions. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and explain the situation to me. I wanted to hear his side. I was expecting him to explain, but his explanation never happened.

I jolted when I heard my phone rang thinking it was P'Tay, but immediately scowled when I saw that it was Gun.

"What?" I greeted nonchalantly as I slumped on the bed.

"Wow. I love the energy," he snorted on the other line. "They're organizing a party at the Groove tonight. Are you coming?"

I hesitated for a moment as I didn't wanna spend the night out, but if I stay any longer inside my room trying to figure out what really happened, I'd probably loose my mind.

"Yeah, you?"

"Of course! It's party we are talking about. See you later, okay? Bye!"

I heaved a sigh as the other line went off.

"P'. Where the hell are you?" I muttered before curling up in a ball and fell asleep.

***

The music blasting on the speakers welcomed me the moment I stepped in the bar. It was the usual sight of people dancing and drinking.

I spotted Gun and the rest of the group in our usual spot.

"Neeww!! I'm glad you made it!" Gun exclaimed as he grabbed my arm and dragged me.

Some of our mutual friends from the other departments were also there. I grimaced when I saw Mond making out with a girl in a corner.

"Aah. The wonders of being a graduate! New can finally go out anytime he wants without his father reminding him of his curfew," Gunsmile taunted and the rest of the group laughed with him.

"Silly. I didn't have curfew back then. He just needs to know where I am," I quickly fended off for my father.

"But at least, the chances of you getting grounded is already slim," White added and the rest agreed. "Oh well. We're here to celebrate. Come on! Grab a drink."

Gun handed me a bottle of beer which I gladly took.

"Cheers to finally becoming adults trying to survive in this cruel world!!" White proclaimed as we clunk our bottles together.

***

I was already getting drunk, my eyesight fuzzy and my head dizzy, but I had no plans of stopping. Maybe, just maybe, I could forget for a while how P'Tay went missing on me for the past three days.

"Ooooh! Hold up! Go easy, New. We're not running out of drinks, are we?" Gun tried stopping me from drinking three shots vodka in one go.

I just slightly pushed his hands away and downed another two.

"Are you okay? You're not usually like this."

I stilled as I heard Gun's question. We were the only ones by the table as the others were having fun on the dance floor.

But, am I okay? I have to be okay right? It's not like he's my boyfriend for fuck's sake.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Tell me. Something's wrong. You just disappeared after the graduation day. I couldn't even contact you for three days. Did something happen with you and Sir Tay?"

I scowled as he mentioned his name.

"Nothing happened, okay. I didn't get to talk to him that day as he immediately went back. He had an emergency at their company," I immediately lied and drank another shot.

"Did somebody ever tell you you suck at lying?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. Okay, I knew I lied, but his voice was implying something.

"Okay, I know you don't wanna talk about it, but I just wanna tell you that I followed you that day and I pretty much saw everything. New, you can always talk to me if you need someone, okay?"

I just stared at him blankly, not even knowing what to say.

"I'll just join the others. Please, don't drown yourself in alcohol. You're quite heavy," he snickered and tapped my shoulder before going to the dance floor.

I was on my way to the bar counter when I accidentally hit someone. In my attempt to keep my balance, I immediately took hold of the person I just bumped into.

"New?"

I squinted my eyes to get a clearer view of the person in front of me, but the lights blinded my vision.

"Tsss. It's me Peter, I mean Pete."

"Ooooh! Sorry. Just you know, tipsy," I chuckled.

"Pete, I'm about to start my shift. Can you please— New?"

With blurry vision, I stared at Kao who was standing beside Pete.

"Uiii. Long time no see," I smiled and patted his shoulder.

"Hi there New. Uh, I gotta go. My shift's about to start," he excused himself.

"Okay. I'll wait til your shift ends," Pete tousled his hair and I couldn't help but be sad. P'Tay would have done the same to me.

Kao was about to go to his post when I remembered something.

"K-Kao, wait. Uhm, have you seen P'Tay?" I was hesitant to ask him that question, but I didn't have any choice. I was holding on to the chances that maybe P'Tay mentioned where he was. They had history after all.

"Huh? He didn't tell you?" he asked, confusion was evident on his face.

"T-tell me what??"

"He flew to New York yesterday morning."

***

"New. Shit. Can you get your shit together? That's enough!" Gun grabbed the bottle of beer from me, but I grabbed it back from him.

"Tsss. I'm not drunk, okay? I'm fine," I retorted. It was partly true. I was slightly drunk, but I was still aware of what was happening around me.

"Uiii. What am I gonna do with you??" he grunted before slumping on the seat next to me.

I just wanted to forget everything, okay? Like how could he leave all of a sudden like nothing happened when it was him who dragged me into his mess? It was him who made me confused of my own sexuality, of my own identity. And just when I was so damn ready to embrace who I really was, he went missing on me.

I finished the contents of my beer and grabbed another one. Gun seemed to have given up on me and just let me be.

I noticed that the lady across me was eyeing me, giving me faint smiles as she ran her finger around the rim of her wine glass.

I cleared my throat as I grabbed my bottle and approached her.

"New? What are you doing??" Gun followed me, but I just ignored him. I could feel his frustration, but hell, I just wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't gay. I was just confused because P'Tay stirred me emotionally, but there was no way on earth that I was gay.

"Hi. You alone?" I asked the lady as I sat on the seat beside her.

"Uhm, actually I'm—"

"By the way, I'm New, and you are?" I wanted to skip the pleasantries, but I didn't want to be rude.

"I'm Celine," she replied as she gave me a faint smile.

"Cheers?" I raised my beer bottle for a toast, but I felt something hit the back of my head.

"Are you flirting with my girlfriend?"

I turned around to look at a bulky man who seemed like he could punch three men in one blow.

Being tipsy and slightly airheaded, I snickered as I scanned his overall appearance.

"Tsss. Do you think I'd believe she's your girlfriend? Oh! It seems like you don't have a mirror at home. You look awful as hell," I taunted. Gun started grabbing my arm in his attempt to make me stop but I just whisked his hand away.

The guy started cracking his knuckles and his neck obviously agitated by what I just said.

"Oh, you wanna punch me? Go ahead. Just don't hit my face because unlike you, my face is valuable. Well, you know I—"

I winced when he suddenly hit my jaw, making me fall off the chair and completely hit the floor.

I could hear Gun calling our friends for help, but then the guy immediately grabbed me by the collar and glowered at me.

"Go on. Hit me again. It's not as painful as what I'm feeling right now anyway," I muttered before blowing a fist on his face.

***

The police officer ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he asked me the same question for the nth time.

"What's your parents' number? I need to call them so you can press charges against him. Or you can call your lawyer."

"I told you, Sir that I won't press charges."

"But he is pressing charges against you," he furiously repeated as he pointed the guy earlier. "He's saying you started the fight by hitting on his girlfriend."

"You saw the CCTV footage, he hit me first."

"Just, just call your parents. You're still a student, aren't you?"

"Sir, I already graduated college, okay?"

I slumped on my seat. There was no way I would tell my parents that I ended up at the police station.

I cocked an eyebrow at the guy who was holding a tissue on his bleeding nose. Beside him was his lawyer and his mother who was whining about her son's broken nose saying that I deserved to rot in jail for hurting her baby.

Tsss. Such a crybaby.

"Okay, if you won't call anyone then I'm afraid you'll have to spend the night here."

"Wait, what? Seriously, I told you I'm not pressing charges. The video clearly shows who is at fault!"

I was in the midst of the argument with the officer when my phone rang.

Mom calling...

I quickly rejected the call, but my mother was persistent enough, calling me several times and it seemed like she had no plans of stopping.

"Can you just answer it? So we can finally settle this matter?"

I huffed and answered my mom's call.

"New? Are you still at the bar?"

"Ye-yes, mom. I'll be late, or I may not be able to go home."

"You tell your parents to come here you brat so you can pay for what you did to my son!"

I closed my eyes as I was pretty sure my mom overheard the woman's rant.

"New, where are you??"

"Mom. I'll just call you later."

"New, you better tell me the truth or I'm never talking to you ever again."

"Mooooom."

"Where are you, New?? Come on, son. You're making me worried!"

I heaved a deep sigh of surrender as I looked at the police officer.

"I-I'm at the police station, mom.. Something happened earlier."

"Oh my god! What happened? Are you, okay?? Just wait for us, okay?? We're coming over!"

"Mo-moom," I protested. I didn't want them to go through the trouble of fixing the mess I made. I wanted to fix it myself.

I was waiting for my parents to come when Earth came in running. Behind him was Gun and P'Off.

"Sir, if there's someone you have to put behind bars, it's him," Earth uttered and slid a flashdrive on the officer's table.

"What's this?"

"See it for yourself."

***

"Thanks, Earth," I timidly smiled at him as we walked out of the police station.

He just showed the police a video of that guy sneaking in drugs inside the bar.

They didn't proceed with the charges as P'Off took care of everything. I just had to pay for the settlement fee. But that guy was definitely going to jail.

"I'll send you home," he offered as he opened the passenger seat of his car.

"Uhm. No thanks. My parents are coming over."

"Okay. So I shall go ahead then?"

I waved him goodbye as he drove off. I sat on the pavement to wait for my parents but almost an hour passed, they didn't show up.

It was then that P'Hom called me.

"P'Hom?"

"N-Neew."

I furrowed as I heard the crack in her voice on the other line. It seemed like she was... crying?

"P'Hom. Are you okay??"

"N-New. Your father and mother got into an accident as they were going to the police station."

I shook my head to make sure that I heard her clearly. Like I must have been hearing things, right? I mean it's possible to hear or imagine things when you're slightly drunk or tipsy or when you had too much to drink.

"P'. You're kidding, right? Okay, I drank a little bit too much, but I'm still sober, okay? I'm just hearing things, right?"

"New, you heard me right. I'm sorry, New, but your father's gone."

My phone just slipped from my hand. I unconsciously clutched my chest to ease the clenching pain that was starting to consume me as I found it hard to breathe.

And the next thing I saw...was total darkness.

***