S. F. - 21

***

New.

I flashed a wide grin as P'Tay opened the door and stuck his head out. I then showed him the bags of food that I bought  on my way to his place.

"What are you doing here?" he asked the moment he saw me. The confusion was evident on his face.

"Tsss. Why does it look like you're not happy to see?" I grumbled as I dropped my shoulders to show him my disappointment.

He then chuckled and dragged me inside.

"It's not what I meant, okay? It's already very late. What did your parents say?" he asked and got the food from me.

I followed him to the kitchen and watched as he transferred the food to the plates.

"I told them I'm staying with you. Tsss. You know them. They'd eventually say yes when I say I'd be with you," I grumbled emphasizing how bias my parents were towards him.

He didn't say a word. I sat on the chair and leaned on the kitchen counter whilst he got beers from the fridge.

"Do you think they will also say yes once they find out about... you know...us?" I queried, my voice fading out as I hesitated to finish my question.

I helped him carry the food to the living area. He still wasn't saying a word, but based on his expression, it looked like he was contemplating things.

"Well, I guess we can't control what's gonna happen, but we'll just cross the bridge when we get there," he finally replied. "Do you wanna watch a movie?"

I plopped down on the floor beside him, my face beet red as I remembered what happened the last time we watched a movie.

"Nah, I wanna talk to you all night," I muttered.

He stifled a laugh as he opened a can of beer and handed it to me.

"We just saw each other yesterday. Do you miss me that much?"

"Tsss. Yeah and we literally just saw each other," I grumbled as I remembered him telling me he wouldn't he able to send me home as he had to rush to somewhere only God-knows-where.

"We had an emergency at one of our restaurants that's why I wasn't able to meet you after school," he explained as he moved the plates of food closer to me.

I didn't say a thing and just took a sip of my beer. I mean, who was I to demand, right? We were not even officially together...yet.

"My graduation's almost here and..."

"And?"

I bit my lips as I contemplated about things. I planned to give him my answer on my graduation day, you know, so we'd get to celebrate two things at the same time. And as he also wanted me to give my answer once I graduated.

"And I'm just very excited about it."

In the end, I decided not to push through with my plan of asking him to make our relationship official as I also wanted to consider what he wanted.

"I've prepared something for you on your graduation."

"Really? What is it?" I asked excitedly and grabbed his arm.

He laughed as he grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

"You'll know by then, okay?"

***

"Which do you prefer? The night or the day sky?" I asked as we we lied down together on the lounge chair on his balcony.

"Hmmm?"

"You said that the sky reminds you of me. Which sky is it? The day or the night one?" I scooted closer to him as the lounge chair wasn't big enough to accommodate the two of us.

"Well, both. I mean though I prefer the day sky because I can see things clearly, the night sky also reminds me of how dark your moods can be."

My hand immediately flew to hit his stomach but he just laughed and hugged me closer.

"See, you're hitting me already," he said in between his laughter.

"I'm asking a serious question, okay. Why? You wanna see how dark my mood can be?" I whined and pushed him slightly away.

He just continued laughing and grabbed me to hug me back.

"Nah, no words would suffice how much your mere presence light up my dark night."

***

I woke up to the smell of coffee. I had no recollection of how I got on the bed as I remembered sleeping in P'Tay's arms last night, but I was sure, he struggled as he brought me in.

I saw him cooking in the kitchen. I sneakily went behind his back and snaked my arms around his waist.

"Good morning," he greeted and turned around to cup my cheeks. "You go take a bath before we eat breakfast. I placed some clothes for you to wear on the bedside table."

I gladly obliged and went back to his room. I didn't take long in the shower as I didn't want him to wait.

I was looking for some lotion whilst drying my hair with the towel when I noticed something sticking out behind the large picture frame on his wall.

I furrowed as I carefully removed a polaroid photo of him and a woman who seemed to be years older than him.

"Is this his relative? But why would he put it there?" I asked myself as I unconsciously flipped the photo and read the words written on its back.

Ma Vie.

I tried to recall where I had read those words as they sounded familiar, but I was pulled out of my thoughts when P'Tay suddenly opened the door. I quickly hid the photo behind my back.

"New, are you done?"

"Y-Yeah, P'Tay. I'll be out in a second."

"Okay. Don't be long."

I heaved a deep sigh as he closed the door.

I immediately returned the photo to its previous place and went outside to join him for breakfast.

***

I carefully fixed my hair, making sure that I would look as presentable as possible.

I'd never been this excited about graduation day or any other day. For aside the fact that it was the day I'd be able to release myself from the shackles of burning midnight candles, it was also the day that I could finally give P'Tay my final decision without him telling me to think it over again. Well, those past months were surely enough for me to be sure of my feelings.

"Tsss. You've been fixing your hair for hours. Aren't you done??" Gun nudged me by the elbow and sat beside me.

We were just waiting for the ceremony to start.

"Uiii. I can't look bad when P'Tay comes," I exclaimed in a low voice.

"Tsss. Fine, you're the one who's in love," he grumbled as he leaned back on his seat.

"Did something happen?"

"I seriously just wanna choke Off to death so he'd die in my hands than in the hands of those who are sending him endless threats," he ranted as he frustratingly ran a hand through his hair.

"Well, it's pretty normal given the nature of his work."

"Why did he have to take law?? I mean, there's a lot of other professions out there. I can't afford him to die. I-I wouldn't know what to do if that happens," he heaved a deep sigh as he slumped even more in his seat.

"Cheer up, okay. Stop thinking negatively. It's our graduation day. I know, he'd be just fine. I'm sure he knows what he's doing."

"Tsss. I just hope he makes it here alive today given the amount of threats he received yesterday," he grumbled.

***

I waved at my parents the moment I got out of the ceremony hall as relatives were not allowed to go inside.

I then proudly showed them my diploma.

"See? I might have given you a lot of headaches, but look at me. I'm a graduate now."

"We're so proud of you, son," my mom cupped my cheeks before placing a kiss on each of them.

"Congratulations, son," my father said and grabbed me into a hug.

"You go spend time with your friends first," my mom told me as she handed me my phone.

I smiled at them before running off to see my friends, but my eyes were looking for a particular person. I hadn't seen him ever since that morning and all I received from him was a message congratulating me.

"Neeewww!!"

I ran towards Gunsmile and White who then grabbed me into a tight hug.

Gunsmile already knew about my secret and all I got from him was a bunch of curses as he ranted about me not telling them.

"Finally! I don't have to stay awake until the break of dawn just to study!" Gunsmile exclaimed.

"Tsss. You can't even get a decent score on our exams," White immediately decided to burst his bubble.

"Well... That's trueeee."

We all together laughed at Gunsmile's affirmation to White's statement.

"By the way, where's your boyfriend?"

I blushed at Gunsmile's question.

"I don't have a boyfriend...yet."

I giggled as I replied in a low voice.

"But you're gonna tell him to make your relationship official today, right?" White inquired further.

"Yeah. I mean, it seemed like we're already a couple. What's left is for us to make it official."

"Do you think you're father's gonna agree to your relationship?" Gunsmile asked.

I bit my lips as looked at them who had a worried expression on their faces.

"Well, we'll just cross the bridge when we get there," I smiled at them.

I fished my phone out of my pocket to see if he had sent me a message.

I frowned upon seeing 0 notifications.

To: P'Tay

P'. Where are you? :)

"Let's take a photo first!" White suggested and we all came closer and took a group photo.

We then took pictures with our other friends. I roamed my eyes around the area to look for Gun but I failed to see him in the crowd.

I looked at my phone again and got disappointed when I didn't receive any reply from P'Tay.

"New!!"

I turned around to look at Gun who was running towards me.

"Have you met Sir Tay?" he asked the moment he reached me.

"Is he here already?" I asked back excitedly. I hadn't seen him the whole day and the thought of him being around just made me nervous and excited as well.

"I just saw him in the parking lot. I just sent P'Off there as he had an emergency meeting to attend to and saw Sir Tay arriving."

"Thanks Gun!" I tapped his shoulder and immediately ran towards the parking lot. I didn't want to waste time.

"P'Tay, I have always identified myself as straight and never have I fallen in love with someone in a way that would encompass the true meaning of love. But the moment your lips touched mine on that one fateful night, I knew something inside me had changed and I could no longer think of anyone else but you ever since then. I know that you want me to be sure with what I felt, but during those times I've spent with you, I found myself falling deeper, deeper than I've ever wanted to. And I've never been so sure about the decisions I make in my life. I don't know what the future has in store for us, but I've decided to be with you. So shall we make our relationship official?"

"Oh, fuck! Why am I nervous? Ugh, I just hoped he wouldn't find my speech cheesy or I'd definitely die in front of him!" I grumbled as I practiced the speech I prepared last night. "Shit. Just come what may!"

I then spotted him beside his car the moment I arrived at the parking lot. I stopped on my tracks and took several deep breaths before fixing my graduation gown and my hair that had gone disarray from the running I did.

I felt my phone vibrate and I was sure it was him as he was holding his phone over his ear. I didn't bother answering it as I was already taking slow steps towards him. My hands were sweating, my heart was racing, my breath shaking as I repeated the speech in my mind

I was about to quicken my pace but I immediately stopped on my tracks.

"Daddy!"

A little boy just appeared out of nowhere and hugged P'Tay.

The nervousness I had earlier was replaced with confusion and...hatred?

And what made it even worse was the woman coming towards him as he picked the boy and held him in his arms.

To say that my heart was clenching in pain would be an understatement because right there and then, I might have died a little...or even completely.

***