S. F. - 18

***

New.

I have kissed a lot...of girls before, but none of them felt like this. Or was it because it was my first time kissing someone of the same gender.

But no matter how much I tried to think of excuses, nothing could seem to justify the reason behind the churning feeling in my stomach and the irregular beating of my heart as our lips stayed pressed together.

No one dared to move, not even I. We just stayed still with our eyes closed and lips pressed together. P'Tay didn't even move and a part of me was disappointed by his listlessness. 

Is he that disinterested to not make a single move?

Disheartened, I slowly loosened my grip on his collar, but what he did next made me shiver.

I gasped as he grabbed me closer to him and started nibbling on my lower lip, gently sucking it at first. I suppressed a moan as he started caressing my back, slowly moving his hands up and down before moving them towards the back of my head.

He then grasped the back of my head carefully as he deepened our kiss and I could only hold on to his neck as he plunged his tongue inside my mouth.

We were indulged in our world whilst the sex scene of the movie continued playing in the background with the characters' moans covering our very own.

I heaved a deep sigh when he started kissing my cheeks then my jaws, outlining them with his kisses before going in for my neck. The next thing I knew, I was already straddling him and his hands were already inside my shirt.

An unrestrained moan escaped my lips when his fingers started grazing my nipples. I was wanting. I was yearning for more. His kisses then went back to my lips, this time kissing them with much more intensity than earlier.

My hands went to the hem of his shirt to take it off, but we both jolted and opened our eyes as we heard a loud scream.

We both stared at each other's eyes and I could see the desire in his which was then replaced with shock...and regret?

"Oh shit. I-I'm sorry."

My heart sank the moment he apologized. I slowly got off his lap and stared at the television and I couldn't help but think that the woman's scream might have saved me from a greater heartache.

"I-I'm going to bed. Just make yourself comfortable."

He then immediately stood and left me gawking at the woman who was now lying dead on the cold ground.

***

I found myself knocking on Gun's unit in the middle of the night after I left Tay's place.

"New?"

I immediately hugged him the moment he opened the door.

"Are-are you okay?"

"Just needed somebody to hug," I replied with a smile, but he dragged me inside and pushed me down the sofa.

He squinted his eyes as he looked down on me. And based on the look on his face, he would surely interrogate me until the break of dawn.

"Tell me," he crossed his arms across his chest and stomped.

I just stared at him with pleading eyes, hoping it would change his plans of interrogating me.

"Come on, New. The least you could do after waking me up in the middle of the night is to tell me what happened. And you can't deny it. Your face says it all."

"I-I'm in trouble," I sighed as my voice cracked.

"What? Wait, is it serious? Do you need a lawyer? I can ask Off to handle your case," Gun hastily replied and I couldn't help but smile upon hearing the concern in his voice.

"What? It's not what I meant."

"Then tell meee. You're making me worry  You wouldn't just come knocking on my door late at night if it's just nothing."

I looked down as I fiddled with my fingers. I knew it was going to be embarrassing but I had no one else to talk to about this matter. And I knew that Gun was the very person who could understand my situation.

"I, I think I'm in love....OUCH!"

I winced the moment I felt something hit my head. I gaped at Gun who was holding one of his slippers.

"Can you not wait til morning? Do you really have to go all the way here at an ungodly hour just to tell me you're in love?! Goodness, New! I thought something happened to you. If you could just see yourself in the mirror earlier."

Gun frustratingly sighed and sat beside me.

"I'm sorry. I had no one else to talk to about this matter. I don't think Gunsmile and White would understand me. I only have you. It's my first time falling in love with someone of the same gender."

Gun rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow at me. "So, who is it? Is he one of our batchmates?"

I gulped nervously as I stared at him whilst contemplating if I should tell him or not.

Oh, fuck. Should I tell him? I should tell him, right? But...Fuck, screw this.

I cleared my throat before answering, "He's one of our teachers."

"HOLY MACARONI SALAD! Are you for real? Spiiiiill. Come ooon. Is it Mr Somchai?" he asked referring to our PE instructor who looked like he hadn't gone under the shower for weeks.

"Are you crazy?!"

"Then who is it??" he frustratingly flailed his arms in front of me.

"It's.... it's Mr Tay!" I immediately closed my eyes as I blurted out his name.

"Hey! Are your serious?? I've got a crush on him!" Gun suddenly stood on the sofa.

"Tsss. You already have Jumpol why are you also taking Tay??" I also stood on the sofa and placed my hands on my waist as we stared at each other intently.

"Okay, fine! It's just a crush, okay?? Don't tell Off about it," he sighed as he plopped down on the sofa.

I sat beside him and took in a deep breath.

"So how did it happen? I haven't even seen you hanging out with him."

"It just happened and I don't even know when and how."

"So what's your problem then?"

"I, I don't know how to deal with this. I, I haven't been in love with someone of the same gender."

"But are you sure about what you feel?"

I turned to look at Gun as I contemplated his question.

"Yeah. Yes, I'm sure. Or my heart wouldn't have gone crazy when I kissed him."

"Wait, you what??"

"I-I kissed him."

"Wow. For a panicked gay you're quite brave," he slowly clapped his hands and mouthed the word 'Wow' several times.

"But he apologized after kissing me back. I mean, what does he mean by that?? His actions are confusing me. One time he's sweet the next time he's cold. He isn't a fucking ice cream for fuck's sake!" I exclaimed as I leaned my back on the sofa.

"Don't worry. I've got your back."

"What do you mean?"

But he just winked at me and threw a pillow on my face.

"Wash up before you sleep. I'll just get you some clothes. You don't want to sleep like you're going to a board meeting, right?"

***

1 message received.

Unknown Number

New. Where are you? Why did you leave without telling me.

I rolled my eyes as I read the message. He must have used another number since I blocked his. I glanced at the wall clock and sighed when it showed 7:30 in the morning. I hadn't slept a wink ever since and all I did was stare at the ceiling of Gun's living room.

"Good morning," Gun yawned as he came out of his bedroom.

"I had to go Gun. Thanks for letting me in," I smiled at him and grabbed my things.

"Don't you wanna eat breakfast first?"

"Nah. I'll just eat at home."

"Okaaay. By the way, New. Don't worry about anything. Everything will fall into its place. And I'll help you figure out Sir Tay's real feelings towards you."

I chuckled and tousled his bed hair making it messier.

"Thanks bud. I owe you a lot," I smiled at him before getting out of his unit. I was about to go inside the elevator when I bumped into someone.

"Ea-Earth?"

"New? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I visited Gun. How about you?"

"I just bought a unit here two days ago. You going somewhere?" he asked as he looked at me from head to foot probably wondering why I was wearing a suit on an early morning.

"Oh, I kinda went to an event last night."

"You had breakfast already? Wanna go grab a bite?"

"S-Sure."

We went inside the elevator together and Earth had been smiling from ear to ear even when we reached his car.

"You look happy," I commented as he never ceased smiling.

"Just... we'll it's my first time eating breakfast with you so...." he chuckled and scratched the back of his head.

"Tsss. What's so special about eating breakfast? Let's go," I replied and opened the passenger seat and got in.

I was about to close the door when a hand stopped me from doing so. I gasped as someone grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the car.

"What the fuck?!" I snarled at P'Tay who was glaring at me. And I could sense that he was mad. He was fuming mad.

"Mr Tay? G-good morning," Earth went out of the car as well and looked alternately at Tay and me.

"Good morning, Earth. I'm sorry but I need New to do some errands for me. So, excuse us," P'Tay replied before dragging me towards his car.

"Let me go," I muttered through gritted teeth but he just continued dragging me.

"I said let me go, Sir."

Once we reached his car, he immediately flung the door open and pushed me inside before harshly closing it. I tried opening the door, but the door wouldn't budge.

"This is kidnapping," I hissed at him the moment he got inside, but he just leaned in closer to me and fastened my seatbelt.

He didn't say a thing and just started driving to God-knows-where. I just decided to keep silent and leaned on the seat.

1 message received:

GunTheElf

It's best if you talk it out. Listening is always the best solution to solve misunderstandings.

"You traitor," I muttered under my breath as I read Gun's message. He must have told P'Tay about my whereabouts.

We drove in silence. The sound of our breathing was the only sound that could be heard inside the car.

Few minutes later, we stopped in front of a restaurant which I assumed they owned based on the large letter V in front.

"I'm not getting out," I told him as he opened the passenger seat. "I wanna go home."

"Come on, New. We need to talk," he reached out his hand but I just whisked it away.

"Fine," he muttered lowly.

I heaved a sigh of relief as he surrendered, but I eventually went on full panic mode when he unfastened my seatbelt and scooped me in his arms.

"Uuii!!! What are you doing??!!" I exclaimed as I held unto his neck so I wouldn't fall.

"We need to talk," he replied and closed the door with his foot before walking towards the restaurant.

"P-put me down! I can walk," I tried wriggling my way out of his grasp but utterly failed as he tightened his arms around me.

"No," he firmly replied and I couldn't help but groan in frustration.

"G-good morning, Sir," the staff greeted him and I could see how startled they were seeing their boss carrying a guy in his arms.

All I could do was hide my face on his chest as I was already beet red due to the humiliation that was engulfing my entire system.

"We're closing the restaurant for today. You can have the day off."

The staff altogether gasped as they heard P'Tay's announcement.

"Thank you, Mr Tawan!" they all exclaimed before scampering off.

"Can-can you put me down now?" I asked as I could no longer take the embarrassment.

He then put me down carefully and dragged me towards the kitchen.

"Sit over there," he said and pointed the high chair by the kitchen counter.

I obliged as he said and quietly watched as he started cooking. I observed his every move and I found myself falling deeper, much deeper than I thought.

"Here," he said as he slid a plate of eggs benedict in front of me.

He handed me a spoon and fork, but I just stared at them. Some may find his actions sweet, but I found them confusing.

"Can you just please stop whatever that you're doing? Stop confusing me," I muttered lowly without looking at him.

"New..."

I bit the insides of my cheeks as I looked up to stare at him. My mind was in haywire and I couldn't think straight as I tried my best not let my emotions break me in front of him.

"You're confusing me, P'Tay. You said you like me but then the next day you ignored me like I don't even exist. And then the next day you're sweet and the next day you're cold. What the hell is wrong with you??!"

"New, I-I'm sorry, okay. I..."

"Can you stop saying sorry? Your apologies are just hurting me even more," I stifled a cry as I felt a pang of pain when I remembered how he said sorry after kissing me back last night. It felt like kissing me was something he'd never do again. I felt like I was a regret.

"I don't wanna take advantage of you, okay? I know everything's unclear for you. See, you said you're confused. I told you I like you but I don't wanna force you to like me back for I know you've never been in love with someone like me. You might be just confused with your own feelings and I don't wanna take advantage of your confusion. I'm sorry for making you feel that I regret kissing you last night, but God knows how hard I tried to control myself. And what makes it worse is that you're my student, New."

"Then quit teaching if that's what makes you worried! What is it about teaching that you couldn't give up?? And stop telling me I'm confused with my feelings because everything became clear to me the moment I decided to kiss you last night! Stop dictating my emotions and stop using your so-called profession as an excuse to avoid me because in the first place, you made me fall in love with you."

I immediately turned on my heels to leave the place but he grabbed my wrist and pushed me against the kitchen counter.

"New, can you please calm down?" he murmured and cupped my face.

I got lost in his eyes as he stared at me directly.

"Okay, I'll give you some time to think everything over again, okay? I promise not to avoid you or anything anymore. But give me your answer again once you graduate. That would be enough time for you to sort out your feelings, okay? I don't wanna rush you or anything. I want you to think about this carefully. This is new to you and I don't want you to regret this one day."

"But P'Tay, I'm already sure with what I fee—."

"Shhhhh. Just follow me okay? You still have about two months to think it over. But during that time, just let me court you, okay?"

I heaved a deep sigh before smiling at him.

"O-Okay."

He then caressed my cheeks and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"Okay, then eat your breakfast. I don't want you hungry."

***

A/N: Okay two updates for today because why not? 😆 Hope you liked this one bubs. 💙💕