Chapter 16

Athy's P.O. V

Days went on and my baby grew bigger and bigger and I am so  happy about that.. She is a month away from being born and I can't wait to see her.. Lucas was about to go for a business trip in place of felix since felix was not feeling well.. He doesn't want to leave but I convinced him finally.. I will definitely miss him but there is no choice..

"then I will get going.." he said in a bored tone..

"yeah be safe while travelling.."

"hmm.. You also take care.. Eat properly and don't skip  your medicines.. Bye sia.. Bye baby.."

He said hugging me gently from the back and looking down..

"wah.." I said flinching

"what happen..?" he asked me  with a concerned look

"pfft I think your daughter don't want to you leave .. She is giving me a  kick " I  said giggling..

"really baby.. Do you don't want daddy to leave..? Should I just say then?" he asked caressing my stomach with happy smile..

"no way.. just go.. finish your job and came back as soon as possible.. Okay..?"I said trying make my efforts on convincing him succeed..

"haah.. I think I don't have any option left.." he said and sighed.

"chu... yeah.. I will come back as soon as possible.. I will get going then bye.."

He give me a peck  and waved his hand while walking towards his car..

I watched his car fading away from my sight and went inside.. Now it's time to meet anna aunty.. I grabbed my wallet and took the car.  lucas  don't allow me to drive alone  but I sometimes do without him knowing.. Just like Now..

---She reached the clinic and  anna did  her  usual  checkup.. Athy Sat in front of her with a blank face..

"athy dear like I said  you should be more and more  careful.. I know you told me not to tell anyone but I can't help but tell lily.." she said and athy's eyes wided in shock..

"wha.." she was about to say something but stopped when she saw lily standing behind her with tears filled eyes..

'haah this is why I didn't tell anyone.. The reason why I am meeting anna aunty without anyone knowing was.. I   have  pre-eclampsia  anna  aunty assured me.. my baby will born healthy so I am Following her instructions  carefully  but I don't want to make others worry so I didn't tell anyone about this and started coming to clinic alone.. But now.. ' she thought and sighed

"athy.. I know you don't want to bother me but.. How can you hide this from me.. God.. Anna is she really okay..?" lily started crying..

"I am okay lily.. This is why I don't tell you.. Please don't cry.."

"yeah she is right I  will do everything I can to make both mother and baby safe please don't panic.."

anna assured her and she finally calmed down.. Thye left the clinic together and athy convinced lily she would be okay..

"did you tell lucas about this..?"

"no I didn't tell anyone"  she said and lily sighed

"athy... I know you always hold  your worries to  yourself but you shouldn't hide something like this..i  and felix are used to this but this time even I  can't get used to this  but lucas is different and on top of that he is your husband and your child's father he should know about this.. "lily said patting her head.

" lily... "

" hmm..? "

"  from the moment I came to know about  this.. I am trying my best to be positive and hopeful  but... sometimes.. I am scared.. all I want is...  For my baby to be born  healthy.. I don't want to  made  everyone worried...if.. I am just  saying.. Cause there is  possibilities.. If  something happen to me.. Will you please take care of my daughter.. Pfft.. Is this what  my mom also told you..? " she said and tears dribbled down her face ..

Lily hugged  and patted her head..

" I am sure nothing wrong will happen to you... Don't think like that.. Never say words like this again OK..? " lily said crying.. And they chatted for a while..

" are you OK now..? Should I buy you choco cake..?"

"it's ok lily.. lucas already bought me one.. Lily.. Will I come with you today.." she said looking at her and lily smiled back.

"no I will come with you let's go home.."

she said understanding that she didn't want to be alone without her saying it out and athy gave a lovely smile back as a thanks.. They went home and lily spent the day with her she tried her best to make her mood happy again and they chatted about athy's childhood and many more things... Athy felt better after spending time with lily.. Lily decided to stay with her until lucas came back.. Athy lied down in lily's lap and she caressed her head gently..

"lily.. Will you sing  a lullaby for me..? It's been ages since I heard it .. I want to hear that now.."

She said lily smiled and sang a lullaby which she always sang for her when she was a child.. Athy closed her eyes with a smile and listened to that.. suddenly tears dribbled down and lily got panicked..

" athy dear what happen? "

" sniff.. Suddenly I miss him.." she said sniffing..

"lucas..?"

lily asked tilting her head and athy  nodded a yes..

'oh dear..  Are you crying for this..?  So she have  mood swings to this level huh ..?  Now I am impressed at  how lucas managed her  all this time..?!! ..' she thought and smiled.

"I shouldn't have allowed felix to do this.. Should  I call him for you..?" she asked caressing her head.

"no.. It's ok.. He must be busy.. He always  sing lullaby for me whenever I ask .. So I  suddenly got reminded of him..." she said and give a slight smile..

" my athy is such a good girl.." she said and athy giggled..

"do you remember lily..? You always say this to me when I finish my homework or finish anything perfectly.."

she said and giggled.. Lily smiled looking at her mood changed to better now

"you are lucky  to have a singer as  husband.. Imagine felix singing for me.. I would rather sent him out of the room than listening to that.." lily said and athy chuckled...

"pfft.. Don't say that.. felix is pretty good at  singing.."

"yeah but not to your husband 's level.." Lily shrugged.

"athy... Is he taking good care of you..?" lily asked.

" hmm.. he is so good to me lily.. Even I don't know he would be that nice.. He..."

Athy started talking about lucas  with a bright smile  lily listened to them happily.. When  she was done lily  chuckled..

" I was worried at first  but now I am so happy.." lily said.

"yeah.. don't worry lily .. he is really good to me .." athy said and lily nodded her head as a no

"I am talking about you.." lily said with a smile..

"huh..?" athy looked at her confused.

"I am happy because you love him.." she said and athy went silent for a moment..

"why do you think like that..?" she asked in a low voice

" your eyes tells everything.. When you talk about him.. the look in your eyes was something I know very well.. It's been so long since I saw that.. You love him so much aren't you..? "

She said and smiled at her.. There was silence again and lily know the reason so she continued

"  are you still afraid of loving someone  ? " she asked and athy nodded her head as a yes..

"  I will tell you something.. there was one time  I asked diana what if claude give up on her one day..? since he is a rich guy and she wasn't.. but she just smiled to me and said it's ok.. Cause she will live happily with the memories she had with the person she love.. Diana was always  like that .. If your mom was here she will say this same thing to you... Don't be afraid to love someone  even if you get hurt you can always cherish the good memories and forget the bad ones and move on even if the person is not around.. So just leave your fears and  confess to him.. I am not forcing  you.. I am just saying.. be clear with your feelings "

lily said and athy looked  at her with a smile..

" mom is  really  great isn't she? " she asked with a smile

" yeah she is " lily said grinning

Athy didn't gave her a reply and slowly  fell asleep.. And the next day  also passed with  just the two of them being together .. Finally lucas came back.. He searched for her as soon as he came back and he let out a relieved smile after seeing her face..

" you are early this time.. Did you really finished the works or  you just escaped  from them ?" athy asked

" is this what you ask a person who came running to see you..?"

lucas asked raising one of  his eyebrows and she giggled.. They chatted for a while athy tried to tell him the news but she didn't want to make him upset as soon as he came back so she didn't  told him anything until late night.. She  was standing on the balcony and lucas stand beside  her leaning on the rail scrolling his phone screen ..

"lucas..."

"hmm..?"

"there is something I have to tell you.."

"what..?". He asked still looking at his phone.

" I have pre-eclampsia and  anna aunty said I will have difficulty during labour or  preterm labour may  happen .."

she said in a blank  tone without any emotions .. Lucas hands stopped scrolling and he froze at the spot.. She turned to look at him since he is not telling anything and saw him looking down frozed..

" I want to.. No... I have to tell you what I am worried about the most.. If.. I am just saying.. If  anything happens to me during labour .... will you please take good  care of our child ..?  Please don't hate her and take good care of her for me.. I know you  aren't like him.. it's just.. I am asking for assurance.. Can you... Please...? "  she said in a low voice

Lucas mumbled something and she can't hear that clearly.. He was still looking down but she can tell he was so furoius from the aura he is emitting..

" what did you say..? ". She asked looking at him.. He looked up and she confirmed he was furoius and he hold her arms tight..

"then what about me...?  You know what.. Now you are really being selfish.."  he shouted  at her

She looked at him shocked..

"wh... What..?" she asked  her voice trembling..

"sia... I love you.. I don't know this before but now I know clearly that I  am loving you for long time.. But  you.. Do you really have to say it like this..?  You didn't tell me something this serious from the beginning and when you finally did.. you have to put it   like this..? "

he shouted at her and rushed out of the room without waiting for her to answer.. Her hands reached to stop him unconsciously but words didn't came out from the shock.. She stood there frozed from shock not  only because of  what she heard also  because what she saw..'did he... Did he just cried..?.. God what have I done..?!!..'

she thought and Sat down on the bed  sibce her vidu felt weak... tears rolled down her cheek. She thought about what happened for some time and she can't stop crying...

'I think I am really selfish...  when he did everything for us wholeheartedly..I.. I only think about myself and baby...I hurt him with my words.. I shouldn't have said  it like that..' she got reminded of lily's words and tears started shedding even more 'yeah she is right.. I love him.. I really do love  him.. That's why..i am scared.. ' she thought and cried looking down..

Lucas drove fast  to the beach and Sat  down staring at the waves .. His hands reached his cheeks and  realised it was wet from tears ' did I cried just  now..?  Haah.. I really didn't realised that before that.. but when she told me  that.. I felt like my whole world is crumbling... My heart ached like a thorn is piercing it. At that time.. I realised how much I need her in my life.. I can't imagine losing her... That's when I realised this is love..if this feeling is what love then I  must have started loving her for a long time now   but since I don't know that I can't tell how  is the feeling of  loving someone is like  ..

She is the  ray of sunshine who gave  me hope to live again... At first.. When I met her.. I thought she was interesting.. Then  I got attracted to her.. Whenever she look at me with  that bright smile  I felt my whole body getting warm.. She  filled  the emptiness inside me with that  warmth.. She always pull me up whenever I feel like drowning..

I can't tell when I started loving her  but I  am now sure  that I can't live without her.. I feel like dying just thinking about that.. So I am sure I love her.. She is the reason I wanted to live back then.. Why did she said something that will break the meaning of my whole existence ..? '

He let out a deep sigh and  stared at the waves...thinking about  his convo  with her sometime ago again slowly progressing her words in his head ...   he suddenly facepalmed himself in frustration..'

  I  shouldn't have  said   that  was her  selfishness ..  I know she wasn't not like that .. May be she told them because of the  things she went through in her  life..  I didn't think of it in her point of view  and  let  out my frustration on her .. calling her selfish..  I was the one who got mad  because she  didn't think of me the way I  do her.. May be I was upset because  I expected her to think of me.. Now that I think about  it.. she was always  like this.. Ready to sacrifice herself  so that  no one will be  hurt..  She.. Haah..' he let out a deep sigh..

'this won't work I should head back..'

he thought and  stood up and went back home.. He slowly opened the room door  in case she was asleep  but his eyes widened when he saw   her crying  sitting on  the bed.. He felt a pang in his heart  and felt  guilty that he made her cry .. He walked towards her kneeled  down in front of her and cupped her face after pulling her hands away which is face-palming  she looked up at him with tears filled eyes  and he wiped her tears..

"I am Sorry.. Really  sorry... Don't cry.."

  he kept apologising wiping her tears but it didn't stopped that quick.. she hugged him and cried even more.. He gently patted her head until she calm down.. He was about to talk when he thought she calmed down but she beat him to that..

" I am sorry lucas... I am really sorry.." she said  parting from the hug sniffling and he  caressed her cheeks ..

"  it's ok.. I was the one who  shouted at you in anger.. I am sorry." he said in a soft tone..

"to tell you the truth... I love you too .. I love you for a long time...  "

she said looking  down  and his hands stopped caressing her and he looked at her wide eyed in surprise.. Words didn't come out of his mouth

"I love you... I love you so much.. That... I.. I got scared... I am scared to love you...after that incident  I am scared to   love  anyone.. I tried to deny my feeling for you for a  long time.. But.. Whenever you are with me.. I can't able to suppress it.. I think I get  greedy of that.. I want to be with you more..

But.. When I came to know.. I have complication..  My hopes shook to the core no matter how  hard I tried to be positive.. May be I shouldn't have got  greedy.. I... I really Want to live with you and our daughter for a long  time.. I.. get  scared often.. what if something bad happens..? If it have to really happen.. I wish it would happen to only me.. I don't want my loved ones to be in danger so I had rather want our daughter to be safe than me.. Earlier when I told those words to you  I didn't mean it like that.. I don't know clearly.. Why words came out like that.. May be I was just assuring myself that you will take good  care of her.. May be if something bad happens to me.. I don't have to be worried.. May be I wanted to hear that directly from you..  May be that's why I would have told them to you   .. I am really really  sorry I hurt you without thinking straight...she said still looking down and tears dripped form her eye again..

Lucas listened to her silently. He hold her cheek and  make  her look up.. He gently kissed her lips and they shared a soft and emotional  kiss... He parted apart and  gave a bright  smile wiping her tears..

' pfft.. Confessing after a fight .. On top of that crying..?  I thought this would be something like this..  Why she is so pure hearted..?   now  that  I think about it  sometimes it's ok to be selfish .. The word selfish not at all suit her.. I am the one  who is selfish here .. But it's okay as long as I can be with you.. I won't mind being anything either it's selfish or bad or anything else...all I want is it be with  you. 'he thought and smiled at her.

"it's alright.. Don't think negatively.. nothing bad will happen.. If it  make you feel at ease I promise I will take good  care of our daughter  and  will take care  of you too and  make you live happily without any worries .. You two are the reason I am living.. so don't  have thoughts like this anymore.. Three of us will live  happily.. don't overthink anything and go to sleep.. "

He said and smiled at her athy looked at him surprised.. Warmth rushed thorought every nook and corner of her body and she hugged  him tight yanking  him towards her  he stumbled a little since he was kneeling down  he balanced and hugged her back  carefully not to bother their baby and patted her back  with a smile..