Chapter 30 - Mon

A week after the surgery, Nita and I agreed to visit Sam at the hospital.

She didn't die.

When Nita told me that the surgery was a success, I was so relieved.

I told her about my dream and the conversation I had with Sam.

She was also surprised about the things that were foretold in that dream.

Nita was not shocked when I told her about the will.

"She cared a lot about you, babe."

We were at her house getting ready for work one morning.

"You don't have an issue with that? I mean, I did tell Sam not to give me anything. I don't feel good about receiving an inheritance from her. What if her grandmother finds out about it? I do not want to face her again," I removed the navy blue blazer from the rack and helped Nita put it on.

We stood side by side on the infinity mirror.

She looked so gorgeous in a suit.

"It's her decision to make. If she has a really good lawyer, they could make the will ironclad so that no one could contest it."

"But her grandmother probably also has a team of lawyers who could find a loophole so they could contest what Sam put on there."

"You're probably right," She buttoned the blazer and then turned around so I can check her appearance.

She was flawless as ever.

"You already refused so it's up to Sam if she wants to change it."

"You didn't answer my question though."

"Which one?"

"When I asked if you have an issue with what Sam was doing."

"Mon," She pressed my chin, "I do get jealous. I am human last time I checked."

"You didn't tell me anything about feeling that way."

"Babe, you are here with me. Everyday that we're together, you do things that remind me how lucky I am to have you in my life. My jealousy is mine to keep under control. I do believe that if I want to push you away, the fastest thing to do that was to nag you about Sam and the things she does to let you know how much you still mean to her."

I didn't let her say more.

My lips covered hers and it took us a little longer to leave her place.

***

After Sam gave me the removable hard drive with the drafts and videos on what memories she wanted to say goodbye to, I watched it at home.

There was one of her at the amusement park.

We went there one time with her friends and took a ride on the bumper cars.

In the clip she recorded, she was with Jim, Kate and Tee.

The video was shaky because Jim, the videographer, kept laughing at Sam, Kate and Tee who were trying to outdo each other on the tracks and failing fast.

I laughed while watching it.

It also told me that they knew about Sam's plans to go for surgery.

There was a bittersweet feeling in my heart when I think of how their friendship endured over the years.

For days, I worried about Sam.

She was so casual about dying.

Most people found it morbid to talk about stuff but not her.

It was as if she accepted her fate.

I read the piece that was related to that video.

By the end of it, I realized that if I wasn't so frightened of what was going to happen, I would have forgiven Sam before she went to the hospital for her operation.

Because what if the universe played a trick on her, on us, and she died while she was under?

What am I do with that forgiveness when the person who needed it, could no longer take it?

***

THE STORY OF ANOTHER US

PART 6

BY CHAMCHAM

I was restless as a child.

There was something in me that always felt like I had to do something or be somewhere.

Sitting in one place was something I struggled with.

Being in motion was what I preferred.

I learned to drive when I was ten.

When my sister took me to an empty parking lot and told me to take over, I didn't feel scared.

I got out of the car and moved over to the driver's side.

It was during that day that I found something that matched my frenetic energy.

Having the luxury of being driven around or when I got my license, driving around the city was something I took for granted.

M2 took public transportation.

She would wake up early to catch a bus so she won't be late for school.

When I learned that, I wanted to pick her up from home and drive her after.

She would not let me do that.

My girl had always been an independent woman.

While driving was something I enjoyed, it was one of the few things she feared.

Even when we're on the road, she would always tell me to be careful.

I could drive with eyes closed but I wouldn't do that because I never want M2 to feel unsafe when she was with me.

It was one of my friends who had the idea to take M2 to an amusement park.

There were different kinds of rides there but the one I was really interested in was the bumper cars.

I took M2 there and after paying for the tickets, I sat on the passenger side.

She didn't know what to do at first.

I told her to take over and drive.

As expected, she refused.

It took a little bit of coaxing but when I showed her what to do, she gave in.

It took her a while to get the hang of it at first.

Once she did, she was cruising down the tracks and laughing.

The ride may not be the same as driving a real car but it was the only way I could get her to enjoy being behind the wheel.

That day was significant not only because we got to spend some time together.

More importantly, I shared one of the things I like with the girl I love.

***

Nita stopped nagging me about getting a car because we fought about it and I got really upset with her.

But after reading Sam's story, there was something in me that changed.

Why am I so afraid?

It had something to do with a repressed memory.

My parents would fight everywhere.

One of the scariest moments was when they would argue while we were on the road.

I would be at the backseat with my hands covering my ears.

I closed my eyes and hoped that we don't crash into another vehicle and die.

My parents didn't make driving an exciting experience for me.

But then I thought of Sam and her decision to go for surgery.

She wanted to be pain free and took a risk.

I didn't suffer from any migraine and was totally healthy.

One of my greatest fears was being in a car and on the road with other drivers.

I read Sam's story again and afterwards, I called my parents.

***

"What about this one?" Mom stood beside a very sleek and expensive white Audi Q8 SUV.

"Yes," I walked closer and admired the beautiful looking car.

"This looks very nice," I ran my hand over the shiny hood.

"I would get two, one for me and one for you and dad, except there's one problem." I put an arm on her shoulder and took her away from the vehicle, "I don't have the money for it."

We walked back to where dad was talking to Cher while inspecting a white Toyota Corolla.

It was a used car but with very little mileage.

According to Cher, Nita's friend who owned the dealership, the owner fell into hard times and returned the car after only having it for four months.

"Now this is more within my budget," I opened the door and could still smell the new leather scent.

Dad was also convinced because it had very low mileage and no damage.

If Cher didn't tell us that this was used, I wouldn't have known the difference since the car was well-maintained.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" My mother walked around the vehicle.

She doesn't know anything about cars except to get on it and be driven anywhere.

"Yes, Mom."

"Okay then."

Cher also seemed satisfied with my choice.

When we came through the door, she made it sound like she was expecting me.

She even knew my name.

Cher explained that Nita told her before that I may drop by one day.

She didn't know when it was going to happen so she was very happy when I came in.

My parents were surprised when I asked them to come with me to the car dealer.

Dad had been bugging me to put my driving skills to the test.

I put it off for so long and I never went.

There was always this fear that something was going to happen to me while I was on the road.

The way worrying goes, the more I feed the imaginary thoughts, the more ridiculous it turned out to be.

I always ended not going and giving allowances for the slow traffic and the very long commute.

But after I watching Sam's video and reading her story, her courage rubbed off on me.

It was brave of her to go for surgery and to tell me about it.

I knew she wouldn't want anyone around her to worry.

When we were in high school, she never told me that she was struggling with one of her subjects.

This was months after we started dating.

She hasn't been sleeping well because she feared that Kirk may be onto us.

If it weren't for Jim, I wouldn't have known that Sam was failing in Math.

I talked to her about it and it took a lot of convincing before she opened up about Kirk being nosy about where she had been and what she was doing.

She was obviously annoyed by it.

Sam didn't tell me anything to spare me the anxiety.

I believed that if Sam could put me in a bubble to protect me from trouble, she would.

***

After signing the papers, Cher gave me the key.

I felt very much like an adult despite signing my life away.

She walked us to the lot where my very own car was waiting.

"Here Dad," I gave him the key.

"Oh no," He waved it away.

"You are driving us.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes. We brought helmets," He joked.

Cher laughed while I blushed from his teasing.

I shook her hand and she waved as I drove away.

My parents and I made it back home in one piece.

I asked my mom to take a picture of me standing beside the car.

After she took it, I sent it to Nita.

My phone pinged a few seconds later.

"Welcome to independence, babe."

It was added with an eye heart emoji.

***

My first time driving to work was nerve wracking.

The office was only twenty minutes away from where I live.

I stood in front of the car and debated on what to do.

Sam's and Nita's face appeared in my mind.

They both barked at me to drive.

So I did.

***

Nita was supposed to drive us to visit Sam.

She called around lunch to tell me that she has an urgent meeting.

We both agreed to meet at the hospital.

I just got out of the elevator when my phone rang.

I moved the crystal vase of flowers that we bought for Sam to my left arm and took the phone out of my coat pocket.

It was Nita on the other line.

She asked if I was on my way to the hospital.

"I'm at the parking lot right now."

She told me she was still in a meeting.

"I'll see you when I see you then."

Her meetings usually go over the agreed time.

I have gotten used to her being late for our dates.

"I'm sorry, babe. I will make it up to you," Her tone was sultry.

"You always do," I flirted back.

Her laughter rang in my ears and made my knees weak.

"I'm almost at my car. I'm going to hang up now," I made a right turn towards the rows of cars at the farthest corner of the parking lot.

It was dim on this side and Nita didn't like that this was the only spot I could find.

She was working with the building manager so I could park next to her spot.

"Don't let me go yet," She spoke.

"Why?""Because I miss you. I didn't get to see you all day because of these stupid meetings."

It was my turn to laugh.

She never minded it before.

I was only a few feet away from my car when I saw someone walking in my direction.

I squinted to get a better look.

Nita was still talking in my ear.

"Babe, are you still there?"I didn't get a chance to answer because I came face-to-face with Kirk.

"Kirk, what are you doing here?" I didn't disconnect the call and kept the phone close to my chest.

He still looked put together in designer clothes and expensive Italian leather shoes.

It was the crazed look in his eyes that terrified me.

"You ruined everything, Mon."

His breath reeked of alcohol and despair.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Nita's voice was muffled on the phone but I could still hear her.

He heard her voice too.

When he caught on to what I was doing, he grabbed my phone and threw it on the wall.

It crashed with a thud.

"If it weren't for you, Sam and I would have been happy."

"Do you really believe that?" I shouldn't be arguing with him but couldn't stop myself.

For years, I kept quiet.

I've had enough of his bullshit.

"Yes, Mon. I truly believed that Sam and I could have been happy if you weren't in the picture. But you're like a bad virus that kept coming back. She couldn't be cured of you."

"Being gay is not a disease," I shot back.

"If I had known that you work for Nita, I wouldn't have pushed too hard for her to buy Diversity. Then you and Sam wouldn't have reunited and we could have our happy ending," He ignored my comment.

"If you really knew Sam, then you would have known that she never believed in any of that shit."

"Stop talking," He pulled something from his coat pocket."

It was a small gun.

My heart went up my throat.

"Don't do this," I could barely get the words out of my mouth.

I thought of Nita and hoped that she caught his name before he threw my phone against the wall.

"There's nothing else left to do."

Those were the last words I heard before everything fell into complete silence.