Chapter 31

Sutter's POV

"You know, I really never started crying until you and your family came back into my life." Lilly mutters to me as we're laying in her bed doing homework.

     "Is that a bad thing?"

     Her face looks like she's pondering for her answer. "No, just an observation. I don't think I really cried the whole time you were gone, I was tough as hell. Now you're back and I'm a blubbering mess." She pouts jokingly.

     I smile at her words. "What can I say? I bring out your soft side."

     She rolls her eyes. "As if you didn't know that."

"You used to only have a soft side though, I never knew you to be hard or mean."

She looks at me like I said the wrong thing. "Yeah well, heartbreak will change you like that."

I wince, knowing I stuck my foot in my mouth. Again. "That's not what I meant really, but I guess you're right. That's something I'm just going to have to make up to you everyday to show you how sorry I am."

Her gaze softens. "No, I'm sorry. I can't throw that in your face every time we disagree on something. Plus, my dad had a lot to do with that too, not just you. Speaking of him..do you know where he is?"

I shake my head. "No, I don't think anyone does. My dad hasn't told me anything if he knows, but I don't think even he does."

She tucks a curl behind her ear and starts chewing on her pen. "Can you believe they would leave so easily like that, and then not even try to contact me or see me again? Who does that?" She asks, but I know she doesn't mean it literally.

She just means what kind of people can call theirselves parents, and care so little about their child. And I don't have an answer for that, because I'll never be able to fathom how they so easily mistreated their daughter, and then left her without a fight.

"As much as I hate to say it, they're just not good people, Lil. And the only thing they did right, was have you. You turned out the way you did because you just have the kindest heart, you are who you are because you're strong enough to overcome all the demons they tried to release onto you."

She laughs softly before looking over at me. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" I ask, perplexed.

"I am who I am, because of you. And because of your family. If I hadn't had you, there's no telling who I would be."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is." She says adamantly. "Playing with you and Jo, and seeing the way a real family is supposed to act, is the only thing that gave me any insight on what it was like to be a good person. I remember how happy y'all were as a family, and how badly I wanted that. Even before my dad started hitting me, he was never invested with me emotionally. You gave me that."

I listen to her words carefully, and try to see them from her perspective. And I get what she's saying, but deep inside of me, I just know that no matter who or what Lilly would have or could have been around, she would still be this amazing person she is today. Because that's just who she is, who she's meant to be.

I grab her hand and link our fingers together. "I know you believe that, but truthfully, all we did was show you what good people are supposed to look like. You chose to be good all on your own, because you have this amazing heart and brain, and you let it rule your world."

She smiles a closed lip smile, and shakes her head again. "You still don't see it."

"See what?" I ask, feeling exasperated.

"You are my heart. You are the only reason I used to get up out of bed every morning. You are the one thing I used to look forward to, even if I only saw your for five minutes, I would wait on those minutes all day long. You are the reason I used to push myself to get good grades, because I wanted to be able to follow you to any school you got into. And you, are the reason I have such a good heart, because I wanted you to feel like you loved someone worthy of you. You are my heart, and all my reasons for who I am."

I'm speechless.

All I can do is look into her eyes, and completely drown in the love and devotion I see in them. I don't deserve this girl, but fuck if I'm ever going to lose her again.

"Fuck, Lil." I finally get out, and then toss my books in the floor before leaning over and devouring her lips with mine.

I grab her ankle and yank her down so our bodies will be lined up evenly on the bed. He hand tangle in my hair, and I grip her hips with my hands.

The need to be inside her hasn't been nearly as strong as it is right now, and I can't stop myself from grinding against her with my swollen dick.

She whimpers beneath me, and I push myself against her harder and start rocking us on the bed, doing my best to make no obvious sounds. It's completely irrational to do this when the whole house is still awake, but I can't stop myself now. I'm too far gone.

Lilly uses her little hands and tugs my shirt over my head, her fingers latching onto my skin as soon as it's discarded. She rakes her nails down my back, and lifts her hips to meet my thrusts at the same time.

"Fuck. Fuck." I say, because it's been almost three fucking years since I've been inside this girl, inside anyone, and the motions and the frictions our bodies are making together is enough to make me cum, just from that.

"What's wrong?" She whispers, after she pulls away to kiss all over my neck and chest.

The feel of her lips gliding over my skin makes goosebumps rise up on every surface of my skin, and I swear I can feel her everywhere.

"There's nothing wrong, it's what's right. This is enough to drive me crazy." I admit.

She giggles underneath me. "Does this mean you're finally giving in and we can have sex now?"

"You know I want to, but I'm not doing that until we're alone and I know we won't be interrupted for a couple of hours."

She scoffs quietly. "We used to have sex all the time, and only had like thirty minutes of alone time. What's the difference now?"

"The difference now, is that we haven't had sex in three years, and I want the first time we do it again to be perfect." I sound like a pussy, but I don't care. She'll never have to feel like I used her the way those other guys did.

She brushes my face gently with her fingers. "It doesn't matter when, how long, or where we have sex. As long as it's me and you, it'll be perfect regardless of the other details."

"I know." I agree, leaning down to kiss her quickly. "But I want the right time to treasure you and worship you the way you deserve. Let me do that, and then every time after that can be however you want it."

She smiles at my explanation, and I know I've won her over. "Fine. So then if we can't have sex, wanna kick it old school?"

"What's that mean?" I ask nervously, because I heard humor in her voice.

Instead of answering, she leans forward and removes her shirt, and then her bra. I can't stop staring at her, and the need to take them in my mouth becomes unbearable, so I do just that.

I take one of her pink peaks in my mouth, and swirl my tongue around it, rejuvenating when I hear her moan in my ear. She grips my hair tighter, and starts pushing her hips up against me again.

After a while we both become impatient, needing more of a release than what we're getting. She reaches down and undoes my pants and starts yanking them down roughly.

"What are you doing?" I question, because I know I'm not about to stop her from anything she wants to do, but really hoping she's not trying to have sex again, because I still want to make that perfect for us.

"Kicking it old school." She says, grinning from ear to ear.

She reaches her hand into my underwear, and wraps her hand around my dick, stroking it softly. I close my eyes and drop my head onto her chest.

Fuck. This is the first time anyone has touched me other than myself, since she last did it when I was 16 years old. All I can concentrate on is the feel of her hand, and the steady rhythm she's starting to stroke me with.

And finally, it clicks.

"Kick it old school, like middle school?" I ask, in a strained voice.

She giggles but nods her head.

I reach down between us and undo her pants, but then just roll us on our sides so we're facing each other, and each have easier access to our vantage points.

I slip my finger in her underwear and feel how warm she already is, and when I finally reach what I'm looking for, she's soaked already. I slide one finger inside and feel myself get even harder, thinking about what that would feel like on my dick.

I keep my middle finger moving inside her and start using my thumb the rub her clit, in a circular motion. She pulls her hand out of my pants to lick her palm, and then wraps it back around me, and it glides over much easier now with the moisture.

We each lunge for each other mouths at the same time, trying to swallow the noises of pleasure that are trying to erupt.

Finally I'm on the brink of bursting, and can feel the ball of tension coiling up in the base of my spine. I start fingering her harder, and rubbing her faster, knowing she's close to by the short breaths she's releasing in my ear.

She turns her head and bites down on the skin of my arm, and I feel her release against my hand, and that does it for me.

We let go at the same time, both of our chest heaving.

My body feels wrung out, having not came that hard in a long time. Only she could pull that kind of reaction out of me.

I lift my head up and kiss her softly on the lips. I pull back, about to say something sweet, when we both hear footsteps coming up the steps.

We lurch apart from each other start scampering the room for our clothes. As soon as we both have them on, we're picking up our books and placing them in our laps, not even bothering to get back on the bed because it would just take up more time.

I'm trying to calm my breathing and erratic heart rate, when her door bursts open pretty quickly, and both my parents stand in the entryway.

"Hand check." My Dad says, just like he used to when we were younger.

We both drop whatever is in our hands, and raise them up in the hair above our heads so they can see our palms clearly.

My mom nods in satisfaction. She walks over to where we're sitting on the floor and places a kiss on each of our heads. "Go to bed soon kids, you have school tomorrow."

"Yes ma'am." We say in unison.

My dad nods to both of us and says his good nights, before pulling the door closed behind him.

Neither of us says anything at first, both still reeling from the fact that we almost got caught naked in her bed.

"Well.." I say, ready to break the silence. "At least he didn't say 'smell check' for our hands."

Lilly erupts into giggles, and pulls a pillow off the bed before smacking me in the head with it. "Sutter! You are so gross!"

I grab the pillow from her and toss it on the ground, before tackling her body on the ground and bending over her again.

"I have a question, and then I'm leaving for the night." I tell her.

"Okay, what is it?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I almost say again, but decide against it.

At first she doesn't say anything, and I start to get anxious, thinking I should have waited to ask her. But then she smiles and cups my cheeks.

      "Yes, I will be your girlfriend. And yes I will be the date to the dance." She says, and I freeze. Remembering those are the exact same words she said to me when we were twelve and I asked her out the first time.

    And just like back then, I lean forward without thinking, a kiss her with as much emotion as I can, hoping she feels everything Im trying to pass to her.

     When I finally pull away, she looking at me in a way that takes my breath away.

    "No on has ever had a better first kiss." She says again, taking me back to that field when we were just kids.

     I swear when sometimes I look at her, I still see her twelve year old self, running around in the grass with me and teaching me to ride a bike. If only I knew then how much more I would love her someday, than I did even back then.

     "No one will ever love you as much as I love you." I tell her, hoping to add a new line into this crazy love story of ours.

A/N.   Omg first sex scene I ever did, I may die from embarrassment

    Thankfully I didn't wash away in this crazy flood and the hurricane is gone for the most part so yay!!

    Let me know all your thoughts on everything. And please comment and vote!! Thanks y'all (: