409. Something Bad Is Happening In Oz

409 / something bad is happening in oz

Stop bouncing your leg. It's loud. Shut up

Lucy squinted at the message scrawled messily on the notepad from across the room, and immediately she ceased her anxious leg-bounce; she had been a nervous wreck ever since separating from the others and beginning the first phases of the plan. Steve was in the Upside Down now, coming face-to-face with Vecna, and though they had only wished "good luck" to each other before splitting Lucy knew there was much more to be said. She could not stop thinking about what she would do if she never had the chance to say it.

"Sorry," she mouthed to Leo, sitting up straighter now. He nodded, appeased, and put down the notepad, resuming walking around the Creel entryway and dining room with an unlit bug light to guide him.

Lucy did the same, standing from the banister on which she had sat down in the first place. She picked up her bug light and descended the bottom two stairs to head back into the den, holding the unlit light out before her, searching for a sign of Vecna.

With the lanterns flicked off (as they had to be), there was no light in the Creel house, and Lucy many times jumped at a crewing floorboard or owl's hoot, worried that Vecna was there to murder them all. She walked slowly, her bare feet padding as silently across the ground floor as she could be.

Suddenly Erica appeared from the parlor, eyes wide. She turned her notepad toward them, and Lucy's stomach dropped at the message: Found Vecna

She and Leo followed her upstairs to the second-floor study, where Lucas was patrolling, unlit lamp held out before him; they collected Max from the master bedroom, and altogether they silently rushed back down to where Erica's lantern had illuminated on its own. She had placed it atop the piano, and still, as they entered the parlor, it was glowing; the ultraviolet light illuminated the entire room and their faces turned purple in the glow as they gazed at it.

Lucas took Erica's notepad and scribbled on it, then held it up for everyone to see.

Phase one

Erica nodded shortly and took off to engage in the first part of their plan. She left through the front door of the house and took her place in the bottom of the rocket-shaped slide, watching from the abandoned playground across the street.

The others headed back to their posts in the study. Lucas and Max, on the other side of the room and sitting next to each other, exchanged a silent conversation on their notepad; Leo settled on the ground by the fireplace, and Lucy paced before them all, wringing her fingers.

After what felt like ages, Lucas stood from his seat, eyes fixed out the front facing window; he rushed to it, and the others followed him. Across the street in the base of the slide, a flashing light had gotten Lucas's attention. The signal.

Lucas looked to the others to ensure that everyone was ready, then raised his flashlight and began to flicker it in the corresponding reply they had discussed. Then they all turned from the window and moved to the parlor, where Erica had found Vecna; Max drew in a deep breath and reached down to her Walkman. Her finger hovered over the STOP button on the tape, hesitant, and then she clicked it off with one fell swoop. She handed it to Lucas, who took it with a tight grip.

"Hey, asshole," Max called now, turning toward the illuminated bug light. "I'm here. No more music. No more games."

They stood still, holding their breath, waiting for the reaction; but none came. The bug light did not change.

"Hey!" she tried again, louder now. "Do you hear me? What are you waiting for? You want me or not!?"

For a tense moment, Lucy was certain it would not work. She made to abandon the plan and signal to Erica to call the entire thing off, but then the light finally faded in response. The lamp Max was holding began to glow.

Lucy paused, her heart thumping in her throat. Then she scribbled on her notepad and held it up for the others to see.

Follow him go go go

Max wasted no time in carrying the lantern up the stairs, using it sort of as a compass; when the light faded she reached out toward another direction and waited for the energy to return. Together they followed Vecna to the center of the attic, and from there the light did not move anymore—in fact it began to pulse, glowing brighter than before.

The four of them shared knowing looks, bracing for the attack. Any moment now, Lucy knew it would come, she would have to act as Max's tether—

But then the light stopped pulsing. The glow returned to normal. And Max was fine.

"What are you waiting for!?" she called out after a moment of staring at the light. "I'm right here, you asshole! I'm right here!"

Lucy glanced to Leo and Lucas, who wore matching grim expressions to her own. She shook her head slowly.

"It's not working," Leo mouthed.

"Talk more," Lucas urged Max under his breath. She nodded and stared back into the light, falling into her thoughts.

"I don't know what you're waiting for," she said aloud, "but I know you're there. I know you can hear me. And I know... you can read my thoughts."

She moved to sit on the floor as she spoke, talking to the lantern that sat patiently beside her. Slowly the words began to leave her mind, though, and she could not think of anymore—at least, that's what it looked like to Lucy. Max's face scrunched up in thought, her lips parting only slightly as though the words were just on the tip of her tongue.

Then her eyelids began to flutter. Her eyes rolled back. She had entered Vecna's trance.

"Max!?" said Lucas, crouching beside her now. He shook her. "Max, can you hear me!? MAX!"

"Leo, go," instructed Lucy, and he wasted no time in picking up the flashlight and running to the attic window, flashing it down at the playground in a signal to Erica to begin phase three of the plan.

"Max, we're here," Lucy told her, forcing her voice to stay even, calm—she held one of Max's shoulders and knelt beside her, watching her closely for any sign of something wrong. "Stay grounded. We're here. We've got you. He can't hurt you."

"It'll be okay, Max," Lucas agreed, though his voice was quaking. He gripped her hand. "We've got you. Find a happy memory, Max, you can do it..."

Faintly Lucy wondered if the rest of the plan was going accordingly, though she knew she would have no way of telling—not until everything ended up either perfectly or horribly. She hoped things would end up perfect, but still, her gut lurched at the thought of her friends in the Upside Down—of Steve taking Vecna face-to-face.

After a few minutes of this, Lucy was beginning to panic, for real now. They had not discussed how long it would take for the Upside Down team to defeat Vecna, but Max had certainly been in her trance for a long time now. Lucy clutched her shoulder harder, shaking her slightly.

"Max," she called. "Max, can you hear us?"

"She's breathing hard," Leo noticed, watching Max, crouching right in front of her. "And her eyes—is that normal?"

"Try Erica again," Lucas told him. "Something's wrong. Max—she's scared."

Leo nodded and ran back toward the window, flashing the light faster now, urgent, but by the look on his face Lucy could tell there was no reply coming.

"Shit!" said Lucas, noticing it too. "Why isn't she answering!?"

Suddenly the creaking of a floorboard from the other side of the attic caught Lucy's attention, and she whipped her head around to see the intruder.

Jason crept into the attic, his eyes wide, a genuine expression of the purest fear written across his face; Lucy looked around and took in the scene from an outsider's perspective. The blue lamp pulsing; Max, frozen in place, her eyes rolled back into her head; Lucy, Leo, and Lucas surrounding her. It looked like Jason's worst fear confirmed and Lucy knew it.

"What the hell have you done?" he demanded, his horrified eyes landing on Lucas first.

Lucy spoke instead. "You need to leave, Jason, it's not safe—"

"Is this what you did to Chrissy?" Jason looked between Lucas and Leo, horrified. He rushed over to kneel beside Max, studying her eyes, waving his hands before her face and shaking her as though he could wake her. "Hey! Can you hear me!?"

"Jason, she's not kidding," said Leo, pushing at his shoulder to get him away from Max. "You can't be here. You need to—"

Wordlessly, Jason pulled a revolver from his pocket and trained it at Leo's chest. He rose to his feet, moving slowly, sure that his aim would not falter.

Lucy felt very much like she could not breathe; she stared blankly at the gun, her throat constricting. She imagined Jason pulling the trigger now and knew it would be over for Leo within the blink of an eye—he was too close-range, the shot would kill him instantly—

"You don't have to do this," said Lucas quietly, and Lucy fixed her terrified, wide eyes on him; he had spread his hands to show that he did not intend to harm Jason, but Jason turned the gun on him as he spoke.

"I hope you're right," said Jason, but he did not change his aim from Lucas's heart. "Is there anyone else in this house?"

"No," said Leo evenly.

Jason nodded, appeased by this answer, then straightened his gun arm again. "Stand up, all of you. Turn around. Turn around!" he insisted in a louder voice, as none of them obeyed fast enough. "Good. Now empty your pockets. Your pockets—"

Lucy, swallowing back tears now, wished nothing more than to face Max again; she had her back to her now, could not watch the status of the trance, could not act as her tether anymore. She slowly reached down into the pockets of her jeans and emptied her lip gloss and a few spare coins onto the floor of the attic, then spread her shaking hands.

"Here's what's gonna happen," said Jason, and Lucy did not have to turn around to know that he was still aiming his gun at Lucas's heart. "I am going to back away, just to the top of the stairs there. Then I will watch as you three wake her from whatever the hell this is."

Lucy let out a whimper, her head falling back, dread swallowing her now; Jason trained his gun on her at the movement, and Leo, noticing this over his shoulder, spoke up immediately.

"Woah, hey," he said loudly, "not on Lucy, she's not involved in this. Look, Jason, we can't wake up Max. If we wake her too soon, we all die—"

"If you don't wake her up right now, all three of you die, Andrews."

Lucy's blood ran cold at the sound of Jason cocking his gun.

"Look, look, look," said Lucas, panicked, and he even went so far as to turn back around to face Jason and Max—though he kept his arms out, sweat beading on his forehead. "Look, Jason, it's not what you think it is. We aren't doing this to her. She's—she's cursed! By a monster!"

"Monster?" scoffed Jason, not lowering his aim.

"We call him Vecna," Leo ventured, turning, too. "He's from another dimension. That's why you can't see him!"

"And Eddie Munson," said Jason, "and his... his Hellfire acolytes— what, you all summoned this Vecna?"

"No!" said Lucy, facing him, looking affronted. "No, we're trying to kill him! Look, there's no cult, Hellfire was just a club! There never was a cult—"

"You expect me to believe that?"

"It's the truth!" cried Lucas.

Jason's shaking arm had lowered slightly and he raised it back up toward Lucas. "Then why was Chrissy at Eddie's trailer?"

"She was BUYING DRUGS!"

"LIAR!" He put his finger on the trigger but Lucy screamed for him to put it down.

"He's not lying!" she tried to step toward Jason to give him perspective, but he forced her back with the aim of his revolver. Lucy swallowed, shaking her head, trying to keep calm even though she was looking death in the eye. "Look, okay, Chrissy was seeing things. Bad things. Things Vecna forced her to see. I know because I saw them too!"

This was the wrong thing to say, and Lucy realized it immediately; Jason screwed up his face and inched forward, clicking off the safety of his gun.

"You survived!" He nearly hit her sternum with the end of the gun. "YOU lived! Is it 'cause you're with Munson!? ANSWER ME!"

"N–no," she choked, her eyes glossing with tears now. She shook her head, wishing he would just believe her. "No, I barely made it out—Max, too, I promise—I promise—"

"Jason, put the gun down, man," said Leo, and he spoke brashly, moving forward quickly; in one whirl Jason turned the gun away from Lucy and onto Leo. "Look, we're not lying. You're wrong about Eddie."

"No!" he yelled. "I'm not! But I was wrong about you. And Sinclair. I never should've let you in that door."

Lucas drew in a deep breath, glaring at Jason. "And we never should have knocked. I thought I wanted to be like you. Popular. Normal. But it turns out, normal's just a raging psychopath."

Jason tightened his aim on Lucas. "You have five seconds to wake her up. Four. Three."

With a grunt, Leo surged forward, crouching beneath the barrel of the revolver; Jason fired it and missed the top of Leo's head by inches, and Leo slammed into his gut. Jason yelled out in pain and began firing upwards, and Lucas rushed to Leo's aid. Lucy dropped back to Max's side, grabbing her arm, shaking her—acting once again as her tether, ignoring the sounds of punches being thrown behind her.

"NO!" yelled Lucas, and Lucy spun around to see what had happened; Jason had stepped on the Walkman, crushing it beneath his heel. Kate Bush was dead. Max would be too.

"SHIT!" cried Lucy; she dove over to try and piece together the device again, but it was in ruin. There was no point. "No, no, no, shit, no—"

Eyes wet with tears, she looked up to catch a glimpse of the fight now; for facing two men at once, Jason was holding his own very well. He was much taller than the other two and bulkier, which helped him not waste time in recovering from the punches Leo and Lucas were throwing together. Still, Lucy was not yet worried about either of them. She continued trying to piece together the Walkman.

"Come on, come on," she muttered, and it grew more and more difficult to try and jam the pieces together as her eyes blurred with tears. "Come on! Shit!"

"LEO!" screamed Lucas's voice, and Lucy spun around to see Leo lying on the floor; shattered glass surrounded him, his forehead bloody. Jason had smashed him in the head with a vase. He was conscious, but barely.

As Lucas was distracted, Jason took the opportunity to slam his face into the wall; Lucas groaned, Lucy screamed, and Jason grunted, pushing Lucas down to the floor. He knelt over him, fingers wrapping around his throat; Lucy rushed over and pried at his grip, scratched at his back, pulled at his arms, but he would not budge. Lucas strained beneath his grip.

"M–Max—" he choked out, and Lucy's stomach dropped to the bottom of her toes.

Sobbing, she turned over her shoulder. Max was inching off the ground now. Her hands fell to her sides. Her toes ascended from the ground. She hovered into the air, neck tilting upwards, eyes still rolled back into her head. She was twitching now.

"Max, NO!" cried Lucy, and it was at the urgency in her voice that Jason became distracted; his grip on Lucas's throat loosened until he was free. Immediately Lucas slammed Jason by the head into the wall beside them, and Lucy stumbled back toward Max, gazing up at her with tears streaking down her face.

Lucas threw punch after punch on Jason's face. Leo groaned and stumbled to his feet, blood running into his eye; he noticed Max in the air and immediately rushed over to Lucy's side, calling for Max with her to no avail.

Then Max's leg snapped. Her arm went next. Like clockwork, each of her limbs cracked, and blood began to pool from her eyes as though she were crying.

Lucas bellowed her name and fell to his knees before her. Sobs racked Lucy's body. Leo watched, his eyes affixed on Max in completely horror.

Behind them, Jason staggered up—face swollen, bloody, wild with panic and fury. He grabbed the gun again with shaking hands, breath ripping out of him in ragged bursts.

"This is on you!" he screamed hoarsely, pointing the gun back and forth between Lucas, Max, Leo, and Lucy. Lucas kept his eyes on Max, not even noticing what happened behind him. "All of you—this is your fault—this is your freak bullshit—"

"Jason, STOP!" Lucy sobbed, her voice cracking. "You don't understand—please, stop—"

But Jason's eyes were glassy and gone. There was no reaching him.

Leo stepped in front of Lucy and Lucas without a second thought. He was bleeding all over and could not stand straight, but still he put a hand out to defend Lucy, Lucas, and Max.

"Man, put the goddamn gun down," he rasped. "If you shoot anyone—any one of us—you're only helping him."

Jason's hand tightened around the grip. Max's limbs snapped once more. Leo flinched at the sound, and Jason pulled the trigger.

Lucy screamed. Leo stumbled back into her, eyes wide, breath catching in his throat. A dark bloom of red spread across his shirt as he collapsed into her arms. She fell with him, hands scrambling uselessly over the wound.

"No, no, no, Leo—LEO—" Her voice broke entirely, raw and animal.

He blinked up at her, dazed, lips parting like he wanted to say her name. He didn't get the chance, though—the air around them began to buzz and Lucy's stomach churned, her face wet and cold with tears; Vecna had taken his final two kills, and now his gate would open. Lucy did not know how long they had, but she held onto Leo, clutching him as he lay in her lap, bloody. His brown eyes shone with tears.

Behind them, Lucy heard Max drop to the ground, broken but not lifeless—her curse undone only seconds too late as El's distant scream echoed through her mind. They must have defeated Vecna, Lucy thought vaguely. She heard Max's voice calling for Lucas, pained—

Lucy pressed her hands harder on Leo's wound, frantic, hysterical. "Leo—Leo, stay with me—please—PLEASE—"

His breaths came shorter and shorter, each one thinner than the last, but his eyes focused one final time and he looked up at his sister, his lips pulling into a bloody, exhausted smile.

"Lucy," he rasped. "Lucy, y–you're okay?"

She sobbed, shaking her head, and brushed a strand of his dirty blond hair out of his eyes. "Don't worry about me—God, Leo, you're gonna be okay—you'll be fine, little guy, we'll be okay—"

"You're okay," he whispered again, like he needed to hear it more than she did. "Good... good..."

His eyes fluttered, but she shook him, desperate. "No, you can't close your eyes, Leo, PLEASE—don't—"

He exhaled sharply, the sound fragile, cracking, and opened his eyes only barely. "I'm—sorry. Didn't... mean... to scare you."

"Stop," she sobbed. "Leo, stop—don't do that—don't talk like that—"

He blinked slowly. Tears slid from the corners of his eyes, mixing with the blood on his temple.

"Lucy..." His voice was barely audible, but she leaned down until her forehead touched his, catching every last word. "You... you made... being me... not so—so bad."

A sob slipped past her lips and she shook with it, squeezing her eyes shut, tears leaking out of them and falling onto his face. "Leo—"

He swallowed hard, fighting for one last breath. He whispered, "Promise me... you'll... get out. Get out of this town. Live something... better."

Lucy shook her head against him, crying so hard she could barely breathe. "Not without you—not without you—not without you—"

He managed the faintest smile. "You will."

His fingers went slack against her cheek, his final exhale shuddered out of him, gentle, quiet, and he never took another.

Lucy wept over him, still shaking his body, still calling his name, but she could not wake him; nothing could anymore, but she did not want to accept this. She continued shaking him, insisting that he wake up right now, that he open his eyes, that he not leave her a brotherless big sister—but he did not move again. He never would.

Her grief ripped into terror—though she was mixing the two quite a lot recently anyway—as the familiar chimes of a grandfather clock reverberated around her mind. Sobbing, she slammed her hands to her ears to block out the sound—was it not enough that she lay wailing over her brother? Was it not enough to take Leo and Max together? Did Vecna have more in store for Lucy? But he had been defeated, she thought, he had been blown up by the others—

"LUCY!" screamed Lucas, and she heard it through the muffle of her hands. She opened her eyes just in time to see a giant gate splitting down the very center of the attic, headed straight for herself and Leo. Lucas had drug Max's battered body out of the way, and Lucy did the same with Leo, but Jason howled in agony as he was split through the seam.

The clock did not stop chiming at five tolls this time. It continued on forever, continued resounding through all of Hawkins as the gate split further and further open. Lucas and Lucy collapsed to the ground as the world shook around them, each of them clutching someone else; they huddled together for safety, crying together, terror elicited in every breath they took.

Finally the earthquake jittered to a stop. The room quit spinning. The gate did not spread further open. Lucy and Lucas sat beside it, gazing down into the Upside Down, tears streaking down their faces. The world had stopped shaking, but Lucy could not.

She glanced down at Leo's body—her little guy, her baby brother—and was wrenched with another wave of sobs as the realization hit her.

Vecna had cursed five people. Chrissy, Freddy, Patrick, Max, and Lucy. He needed five souls. He did not get Lucy's, yet still he was able to open his gate—He had taken Leo's. He had taken Leo as his fifth soul to open his gate and begin the end of the world.

Two Days Later

The town of Hawkins was in ruin. A 7.4 magnitude earthquake, the news had dubbed it, in an event that seismologists seemed to be calling "a natural disaster of near-unprecedented scale." The death toll, this newspaper read, now stood at twenty-two, with dozens more filling up Roane County hospitals and many more still missing. Officials still expected the numbers to rise.

Lucy wondered if they would ever fall, but she knew that was impossible. People could not come back from the dead.

Well, except Max. She had. Now she lay in a hospital bed, hooked up to a dozen machines pumping her with God-knows-what and tracking the status of her coma. Not death. Coma.

She had lived. Somehow. Vecna's curse just could not seem to take her.

A sour taste overtook her mouth. Lucy crumbled up the paper and threw it to the side, scowling, letting her head fall into her hands. She did not know why she read it, anyway; it was only filled with more hysteria and rumors about Hawkins. Nobody could ever understand what went on in their town unless they lived through it, but still they called it the city of Hell, where tragedy regularly befell.

She sat on the hood of Steve's car staring at nothing in particular; the paper lay half-read in a crumbled ball beside her on the driveway of the Wheeler house. Behind her, Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Dustin piled box after box into Steve's trunk, all destined to be given away as charity to those who had lost things in the "earthquake."

Lucy hated it. She had lost something that night, and it was something that no flimsy charity from the people of Hawkins could ever replace.

"Sure you wanna give this away?" came Steve's voice, and Lucy glanced over her shoulder to see him holding up a teddy bear with a little yellow raincoat on it

Nancy rolled her eyes. "I'm sure. He'll be better loved in another family."

She took the toy from Steve and handed it to Robin, who threw it into a box labeled WHEELER in big black letters on the side. Next to it in the trunk sat a box labeled HARRINGTON, one labeled BUCKLEY, and one labeled ANDREWS; and only one of them was filled to the brim of things they would never need anymore. Boy's clothes.

It wasn't true that they would be better loved in another family, like Nancy said, but at least they could do some good somewhere. Instead of sitting in Lucy's closet rotting away, losing Leo's smell by the day.

"Did someone order a pizza?" came Mrs. Wheeler's voice, as she carried out a second WHEELER box to the car; as she spoke, a rhythmic trumpet horn sounded out, and everyone turned to see a yellow van pulling to a stop at the end of the driveway. It was adorned with a red surfboard atop it that read Surferboy Pizza.

Out of the van spilled faces familiar to Lucy, once upon a time, and she was not the only one who let out an about-to-cry sound at the sight of Mike, Will, Jonathan, and Eleven. She was, however, the first one to start running toward them.

By the look on his face, Will was not expecting Lucy to throw herself at him in an embrace, but he hugged her back; loose at first, then tighter when he seemed to realize that she was choking back tears. She did not say anything to him but instead let go of the hug and just looked him in the face.

Will.

He smiled at her. She managed a half-smile back, then moved out of the way so he could go reunite with Dustin. Behind him was El; she smiled at Lucy, and the two of them joined together in a hug that Lucy felt El needed as much as she did.

The crew returning from California joined Nancy and headed off for the hospital, leaving Robin, Steve, Dustin, and Lucy to take their haul to the high school and donate it to the community.

The gym had been set up as a temporary shelter for those who had been hurt, separated from their families, or lost things in the earthquake, and it was buzzing with people when the three of them walked in, arms full with boxes. A board by the bleachers had been set up to take information on missing people, and one of the Hawkins officers stood near it to answer questions. Cots were laid out for injured people to lay on. Nurses had stations set up, and there was a a donation table at the back of the gym.

"Hi," said Robin, as she led them toward the table. "So, these are... blankets and sheets, and some kids' toys... and, uh.."

Lucy set her own box on the table beside the others. "Boys clothing. And shoes."

"Wow, it's already so organized," beamed the woman behind the counter, looking through each of the boxes. "Do you want a tax receipt for it?"

"Um.." Robin shook her head. "No, I don't think we need one. Thank you, though."

"Is there anything else we can do to help?" said Lucy, looking around the chaos of the gym.

She was glad that the volunteer did not immediately dismiss their help; they were delegated into different sections of the gym. Steve helped fold and organize clothes, Robin made sandwiches in the food area, Dustin handed out cups of water to the injured people resting on cots.

Lucy was grateful for the job she had been assigned: Sit in the corner and fold the donated blankets so they can be handed out to cots across the gym. It gave her something to do with her hands, and had nothing to do with her voice, just as she would have preferred it.

She smoothed the fabric out across her knees—the blanket was navy wool, scratchy, smelling faintly of a garage or someone's guest closet. She folded it carefully, lining up the corners, pressing it flat. Her fingers trembled, but she was far enough away from anyone that nobody could have noticed it.

Every few minutes, she reached for another, and another, and another. Mindlessly folding blanket after blanket.

The pile barely shrank, but she didn't mind. It was easy, quiet work, and it was helping someone, which was exactly what she needed. As long as she was folding blankets, she was not seeing Leo collapse into her. She was not hearing him gasp her name. She was not replaying that moment in the attic over and over and over again.

Her eyes burned, but she blinked the feeling away, smoothing another blanket. Halfway through the fold, her hand froze. A tiny drop of water, or sweat, or something else had landed on the fabric. She wiped it with her sleeve, breath hitching, then folded faster.

Suddenly she felt the weight of a familiar stare falling on her. She knew the feel of his eyes on her from afar. He was watching to make sure she was alright, as he had been doing for the last forty-eight hours now—just watching, waiting for her to break.

It was suffocating. She coughed, pausing her work in folding, sitting still for just a moment, which Steve took as something being wrong.

Steve abandoned the pile of sweaters he had been folding and crossed the gym toward her in those long, purposeful strides of his. She did not have to look up to know it was him; she could feel the shift in the air, the way she always did when he got close, as though he was trying to wrap himself around her without touching her.

"Hey," he said too gently. He took a seat on the cot next to her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, forcing a bright voice. She reached for another blanket.

"Lucy..." He leaned in slightly, searching for the right thing to say, his eyes skimming her face. "You don't have to pretend with me."

She shook her head, not meeting his eyes. "I'm not pretending. I'm just... working."

"You're shaking."

She pulled her hands back from the blanket as though it burned her. "I'm just tired."

Steve exhaled, but not as though her were angry—she knew he hated it, feeling helpless, but she hated the idea of relying on him to save her even more.

"Look, I get it," he murmured. "You don't wanna talk. I just— I need you to know I'm here. Okay? Whatever you need, I'm—"

"That's just it, Steve," she said, and her voice cracked right down the center; she was uncertain where this came from but could not stop it from spilling past her lips. She stared at her hands in her lap. They were trembling openly now, no point hiding it. "I don't know what I need. I don't... recognize myself right now. I can barely breathe half the time, and the other half I can't stop crying. And you—you keep looking at me like I'm gonna fall apart."

"No, I don't—"

"You do." She nodded, her eyes wet now. "And maybe I am going to fall apart. But I can't— I can't do that in front of you, Steve.

He furrowed his brow, eyes searching her face, and shook his head, unable to understand. "Why... why not?"

Why not? There were a million reasons why not. Because she loved him too damn much; because he made her feel safe when she knew she would never be; because she had survived and her little brother had not; because she did not know who she was without Leo and she did not ever think she would have to find out.

She knew she could not say any of that, so she settled on the only thing she could.

"I want to get out of Hawkins, Steve. I can't live here. All it does is remind me of him." She sniffed and shook her head, finally lifting her eyes to meet his. "I just need space. From... everything."

She could not bring herself to say "from you" aloud, for she was afraid it would shatter her heart to do so—how do you separate from the person that you love, and that loves you, even though you know that you cannot be together? Not until you understand yourself more—and heal?

Steve's face went still. Not offended, but hurt, and in a way he tried very hard to hide—but she knew him too well and could recognize the ache in his eyes. He nodded once, tightly, and pushed himself to his feet.

"Okay," he said. His voice wavered and he cleared his throat to hide it. "Okay. Yeah. I'll... I can give you space."

He backed away before she could see the rest of the expression forming on his face, and as he turned away from her he lifted a hand to wipe his nose. His shoulders were curled in on themselves, as though he were trying to make himself appear smaller now.

She wiped her face as it had grown suspiciously wet with something she hoped were not tears, and she folded another blanket with shaking hands.

Steve returned to the clothing table and put himself as far from her as he could while still pretending he was okay.

They stayed in the same gym, breathing the same heavy air, doing the same volunteer work, but they were no longer together, and Lucy's stomach churned with grief, misplaced love, and a sickening air of finality.

Via Chatter

Imagine your little brother DIES and TWO DAYS LATER you BREAK UP with the boy that you LOVE because you both need time to HEAL and he is so in love with you that he AGREES even though it breaks his HEART and just as you're getting ready to leave your small town for COLLEGE the MILITARY SHOWS UP and they put your town on QUARANTINE so you are STUCK in HELL and your EX takes up a RADIO SHOW JOB and you have to LISTEN to him every morning on your way to WORK and you are MISERABLE and WORTHLESS