Guilt

-Judd's POV

I woke up refreshed, having slept through the night for the first time in as long as I could remember.

Though I slept peacefully my mind was a in fucked up cross between guilt and blame.

It ached as I thought about my actions from the previous night.

I should've killed that guy, I blame him almost as much as I blame myself.

It's my fault.

Though with all the bad thoughts I couldn't help but smile when I was reminded by the ball of heat on my chest that she was in my bed.

I stared at her Perfect features.

She was truly beautiful.

I traced the outline of her face with my eyes, I couldn't seem to keep them off her.

As they trailed up her face I felt a ping of guilt surge through me.

Her under eyes were red and puffy. Smothered in black eye makeup from crying.

And the closer I looked the more I remembered. I didn't want to remember, and most of all I didn't want her to remember. She didn't need that.

She was frowning, and I found myself missing her smile.

It's my fault.

I reached one shaky hand up to her cheek, they were soft, red from fever.

Fuck. She's sick.

I put the back of my hand to her pale forehead. She was burning up.

As I stroked her cheek and ran my fingers through her hair I couldn't help but feel something for her.  Like I'd never felt for anyone else-

I don't really like anybody else but her.

Within minutes she had woken up and those big e/c eyes were looking up at me.

They were just as perfect as the rest of her.

She smiled weakly, but it didn't reach her eyes. She was in pain.

It's my fault.

I made sure to stop touching her as soon as she woke up. I can't let her think anything of it.

I can't be with her- I don't deserve her.

"Leah will be home soon. We should go downstairs." I harden my voice, although it kills me.

She drops any trace of a smile and nods her head.

I need a cigarette.

—

-Leah's POV

I walked in the door to my house with butterfly's in my stomach. All I could think about was Brant and his chiseled jaw line, and perfect structure.

I stepped in the doorway and immediately saw Y/n on the couch, my brother standing behind her.

I had assumed she went home with some guy or just uber'd home, but what I saw told a completely different story.

Y/n's eyes were red and puffy, she had clearly been crying, and she was biting her nails. Something she only does when she gets nervous or upset.

And Judd's knuckles were wrapped up in bandages, a cold, distant look on his face- more than normal.

What the fuck happened?!

I hung my keys on the hook and ran over to comfort Y/n.

"What the hell happened!?"

She just looked at me. Tears pooling in her eyes, her lip slightly quivering.

I looked up at Judd with a confused expression.

"Somebody tell me what happened!"

I was getting restless, about to yell again when I heard a croak from Y/n.

"Last night I was drugged."

I looked at her blankly, a million thoughts running through my head.

But even with all those thoughts I couldn't find one thing to say to her.

This is my fault.

I wrapped my hand around her cold fingers, begging with my eyes for her to tell me the rest.

My heart dropped lower and lower with every word she spoke.

By the time she had finished I was tearing up as well. My emotions were running wild.

I was pissed at myself.

If only I wasn't so caught up with Brant. I could've done something- I could've been there.

Shit.

She messaged me last night- she asked me to come be with her.. it was her fucking birthday!

I held onto my childhood best friend, digging my nails into her back. Nuzzling my face into her shoulder.

I never wanted to let her go.

"Im so sorry- I- I should've been there for you!"

She squeezed my hand. She didn't need words, she forgave me. Why? I don't know.

I let her go and looked up at Judd, then back at her.

"Did you stay the night?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"Oh.."

Where did she sleep?

Wasn't it just her and Judd here?

Why didn't either of them call me!?

I had a million questions that would be best left unanswered. She didn't need interrogations right now, she needed a friend.