CHAPTER - 25

Taehyung held the diary against his chest like it was a lifeline. Each page he turned brought a new wave of heartbreak crashing down on him. His fingers were sticky with sweat, trembling as he opened the sixth month entry.

Sixth Month Diary:-

Date – XX-XX-XXXX

Dear diary,

Luckily I’m alive… I almost gave up at the last moment, but doctors saved me… The thing I feared happened two weeks ago: a heart attack. It was so painful, I thought I wouldn’t survive… but then I closed my eyes and thought of Taehyung… and I don’t know when I fell unconscious…

It won’t be a lie if I say it was Taehyung who saved me, not the doctors… When I woke, I was in the hospital. Mom was crying… luckily dad was out of town… I convinced mom not to tell him… I don’t want him to know… I don’t want him to be disappointed…

Taehyung turned to the seventh month, hands trembling so badly he had to steady the diary on his knees.

Seventh Month Diary

Date – XX-XX-XXXX

Dear diary,

I visited my doctor today. I had my ECG test yesterday and went to my doctor with reports. He said that i need a heart transplant. The operation date is in four months... I'm scared but not as much as my mom. Doctor shouldn’t have said this infront of mom , she was panicking badly. It took me 2 hours to calm her down....

Taehyung's hand flew to his face, covering it as he shook, his body wrecked with sobs

Looking my mom this worried about me , i felt weirdly happy. I felt like atleast there is one person who is afraid of loosing me. Atleast there is one person who will be affected by my absence... I used to think that there is no one who loves me but i was wrong even though no one love or care about me but i still have my mom who loves me the most and cares about me so much....

But sometimes i can't help but to think if dad will be sad or not , it might be weird but i have already imagined my funeral. I have imagined mom crying her heart out but dad , what about dad? How will he react? I think most probably he will be standing behind with a straight face , or may be he will be sad....

And taehyungie will he miss me? I don’t think he would even notice my absence.. or would he? Ah no he definitely won't. But i want him to visit me on my funeral to say goodbye....

Tae screamed, a soundless, raw wail that echoed through his empty room. He banged the diary against the floor, tears soaking the pages.

Tae (sobbing) - please god! I will do anything. Just give him back to me.

Finally, he turned the eighth month, his hands trembling so violently he nearly dropped the diary.

Eighth Month Diary :-

Date – XX-XX-XXXX

Dear diary,

Dad yelled at me today… he thought I was wasting my nights writing instead of doing assignments… He called me worthless… I didn’t tell him I was doing Tae’s assignments… I don’t get time for my own…

He scolded me for not attending classes, its not that i like to bunk classes but after getting beaten up by tae i don't have any strength left to even get up so i always spend almost an hour lying there..... I'm not complaining about tae , i'm happy to help him anyway. Atleast this way he knows that i exist...... Doing his homework and taking his punches are nothing i can do alot more for him.....

Taehyung felt like to throw up at the point. He hated himself to the guts.