20. Practicing

Chapter 20 - Practicing

   It was another lazy Friday night, and I had locked myself in my room for the evening. Alex had 'practice' and for what I wished I knew. At the time when he told me, I forgot to ask. There could be multiple things that anyone could practice something for, and what exactly was that for Alex?

I wish I knew. Maybe he'll tell me soon.

    There were so many things I still had to learn about Alex, and I truly believed that we were heading in the correct direction. His and I's relationship seemed as if we were actually doing this all right in some ways. He was my first boyfriend, and there are many things that I'm absolutely clueless about.

   "Laila, come to the store with me?" Derek walked to my room, immediately I hide my papers that I've been writing on.

   "Um…Yeah. Sure." I smiled.

   Quickly, I grabbed my jacket and shoes and followed him out to his car.

    The car ride was quiet, but with Coldplay softly played in the background helped break it. I was glad I took my jacket. Baltimore was getting colder and worse by the minute. But I liked every bit of it. Autumn was my favorite out of all seasons, although autumn is currently turning into winter with Thanksgiving around the corner. Everything turned gray during winter, and it always left me in some sort of depression. That’s what I despised about seasons changing, and with living in Baltimore, it only made the weather worse. Snow might make someone happy for a week, that’s until you have to shovel it and have to dress for it. It’s all tiring and it was just around the corner.

    Speaking about around the corner, Derek had just pulled into the grocery store parking lot, and parked into a spot. “I just need a few things. Do you want to come inside?” He said while pulling the keys out of the ignition.

    Sighing, I got out of the car with him. Still wondering why I had even bothered with agreeing to even go with him. But once inside, I separated from him to roam around while he got whatever he needed. I ended up getting a little lost, and somehow was in the aisle of candy.

    I dug into my pockets, with the hopes of maybe finding spare cash. The bag of candy was begging for me to take it home.

   But with my terrible luck, I only had my phone. In which with perfect timing, it started to buzz with the only name that I would only be as happy to see.

  Grinning, I answer the call.

   “Hello?” His raspy voice filled into my ear. I tried to get away into an isolated area in the store to be more comfortable to be able to talk, which led me to the women’s bathroom.

    Luckily, it was vacant. “Sorry about that.” It had taken me forever to finally say anything. With locking the stall door, I could only hear his heavy breathing.

   I pursed my lips with having the struggle to find something to say as I sat on the toilet with my legs tight together.

“Where are you?” Alex broke our deathly silence.

“I’m in a store’s bathroom.” I said plainly. Looking around, it wasn’t too shabby.

“Can you somehow come over to Jack’s place?” He randomly asked.

“I don’t know…Alex.” There was no way I could get there, without a car. Sure, I had my driver’s license, but was missing a car for myself.

“It’s okay, if you can’t.” He paused. “I gotta go, um, bye.”

    He hung up just like that, leaving me wanting to know why he was acting like that. I decided I shouldn’t dread on it too much.

    Later on, I had found Derek in a checkout line. My eyes could barely believe what I saw he was about to buy. From bottles after bottles of liquor and alcohol to red plastic cups. There was no doubt in my mind that he was either throwing a party or attending one. He gave me an innocent glance at me, but received a devious smirk from me.

    There was no way I was going to let this pass, this had the chance of blackmail all over it, and I’m taking up the chance.

    “Look, please don’t tell Dad.” Derek pleaded as we exited the store. I scoffed a little. I wasn’t going to tell due to the fact if I did, for the rest of my life he would never forgive me. But I be damned myself If I didn’t let myself let him worry.

   “Where are you going?” I asked after we get back to the car.

    “It’s at home. Dad had something come up at the office, he’ll be there all night.” He looked at me with a pleading look to not rat him out.

“Fine. But let me borrow your car.” I devious raised my eyebrow, his expression on his face was priceless.

“No way! Are you kidding me?” He shook his head while leaving the parking lot.

    “Hmmm, looks like someone’s party will be a no go.” I tapped my chin a little, keeping my eyes on the road ahead of us.

“Okay, but if there is one scratch on it, I swear, Laila.” He finally gave in with a warning. I was mentally jumping up and down.

    Without wasting any time once we arrived home, I threw on my good pair of jeans and kept the random indie band t-shirt I was wearing.

    It felt nerve wracking being behind the wheel as I slip into Derek’s car after Dad had left. My hands had the worst of troubles just trying to put the keys in to start the engine. I hated driving although I loved the feeling of freedom. But with the thought of seeing Alex tonight on my mind, it gave me the confidence boost that I need to be able to drive.

     The level of difficulty trying to find Jack’s house was harder than expected. Especially, with the Sun being gone, making it no source of help.

     I tried to play the memory of the afternoon that Alex and I drove to Jack’s house, and finding out that Brenna was not pregnant – A major relief it looked for Jack, and maybe her as well.

     My body relaxed a little when the road I was heading down on became familiar to my eyes. I reached to his house and parked just outside of it. There was a terrible ruckus coming from the inside of it, making me reach my phone to call Alex instead of knocking on the front door.

Oddly, the ruckus stopped the minute Alex picked up. Weird…

“Hello?” Hearing him made my lips curl into a small smile.

“Hey, um. I’m here.” I said, looking around outside.

"Really? You're here?" The excitement was all in his tone. "I'll be right outside, stay put."

   With the ending of the conversation, Alex came into view by exiting outside of the garage by the door to the side of it. I tried not to stare at the silhouette of him, but the more closer he came into my headlights, the harder it was to tear my eyes off him. He wore a baseball t-shirt with a pair of tight jeans, and his hair was a complete mess.

  Rolling down my window as he came up to my car, the gust of wind blew in.

   "Wanna come and watch us practice?" He smirked a little, leaning against the window pane of my car with his hands.

   I knitted my eyebrows. "Practicing exactly what?"

   “I’m in a band. Didn’t I tell you?” He jerked his head a little, with every word, fog formed in the air.

   “Wait. Woah, what?” I was more than surprised to hear what I was informed about. My hands threw up into the air along with my head shaking relentlessly. “Are you joking?” I let out a brittle laugh.

   “No? Why would I lie?” His chest paused midway through breathing. “I’m the singer.”

   “And this whole time of being alive, telling myself to never get involved with the lead singer…” I trailed off, but so faintly that Alex hadn’t heard what I said. I unbuckled with caution and cut off the engine.

   “Why are you looking at me like that?” He said, referring to my suspicious look I held.

   “Nothing.” I innocently shrugged, opening my door with a small push.

   We walked in the dark to the garage together. I had the nervous feeling boiling into my stomach, the uneasiness made my knees feel unbearably weak – and certainly not because I was next to Alex. The intense thoughts of the fact I was going to face not only Jack, but other people, in such intimate manner and space wasn’t an easy thought to swallow.

    Just before he was about to open the side door to the garage, he takes a sudden stop. “Are you okay?” He looked back at me.

    A shaky exhale from my lungs had caused Alex to wrap his arms strongly around me. The warmness from him took no time to transfer to me, including the wonderful scent. It all relieved me somewhat as his chin prompt on the top of my head, all while giving me a small kiss into my hair.

    The gesture had been the sweetest, and when he let go, a tiny wave of sadness washed over from the withdrawal. “Just don’t have them expect me to speak, okay?” I wanted to get that one rule cleared to him.

“Of course.” He agreed while turning the knob to the door.

   I hid behind him, with my hair covering my face.

   “Took you some time, what the hell were you doing out there?” A voice chimed in.

“Had to get Laila.” Alex cheerfully said, moving to the side to show me.

   I smiled slightly. Jack was to the right, with his guitar upside down the wrong way. To the left, there was a person I never seen around school. His muscles almost kind of scared me, although his hair looked goofy with being so curly. And to my surprise, Rian sat at the drum set, proudly showing off his pearl white smile.

    I awkwardly followed Alex around the garage, which was actually pretty cool looking with Christmas lights dangling around. The walls couldn’t be seen due to multiple different band posters hiding the true colors. The drum set of Rian’s was placed in the middle, and there were amps surrounding the area. Along with amps, there were two microphone stands, and then a small scrawny couch.

   “You can sit there while we practice if you want, Laila.” Jack offered kindly, his hand gesturing to the couch.

   Wasting no time, I sat down on the old looking couch, it squeaked terribly as I did so. For a reason I wished I knew, I didn't feel too comfortable. Knowing that Derek was throwing a party and I being here with Alex secretly had finally got my head spinning. 

   Although I had gotten to know Jack and Rian a little earlier today, I didn't like where I was at.

   It was during lunch today when I finally got the nerve to sit next to Alex at his table. Everyone had already heard about the kiss between Alex and I throughout the week, and besides, he was my boyfriend right?

    Alex's reaction although made myself very happy. He seemed joyful with a hint of shock that I had finally wanted to sit next to him - I've wanted to sit next to him since day one actually. But later on in the day, he explained to me that he never wanted to ask due to the fact he didn't want to push me to anything that was out of my range. Which surprised me that he was thinking about that, and it made me realized he was being careful around my comfort zone. That's when it clicked, the reason why he asked me if I was a virgin. Even if it was a bizarre question simply because he knew he was my first kiss, he still wanted to know and was cautious with the comfort zone that I've build over the years.

   There's an awful long list of things I wouldn't dare to do, and not just relationship wise, just life things in general. I will have to work on these type of things in the future if I ever want to make it in life, but it all seemed so...scary.

   "Laila?" Alex raspy voice snapped me back into reality. "Are you here or in another world?" He laughed breathily.

   My cheeks without a second thought probably had turned into red as I shyly looked down at my hands. I of course, was still so shy around Alex, and including his friends. I've been getting better with not being shy around him, but some days I just couldn't help it.

  "Let's play Noel, yeah?" The bassist had finally spoken up, and yet I was still waiting for what his name was.

   "All in favor to practice Noel, suggested by Zack?" Jack's voice had a dramatically deep voice as his smile showed with a goofy expression.

So Zack was his name.

    It was only in a short minute they started to play. The beating of Rian's drum roared in the garage and the sound bounced off the walls. The slapping of the bass from Zack tied in with Jack's guitar riff. Jack who was goofing around, which in my mind, seemed a ritual for him during other practices. Their sound all together was decent, I'm not going to lie, but they needed more practicing. But I loved watching them play, but my eyes couldn't tear away from Alex who was standing in front of me only two feet away. His hands were placed on his guitar as he sang into the mic. The passion of his voice was clearly audible, and it sent shivers through out my body.

   All noises and sounds zoned out from my hearing besides the beautiful sound of his voice. He closed his eyes shut during some parts, and his hand sometimes went from playing his strings to gripping the microphone. The masculine tone of his voice swept me way from reality.

    I've heard Alex singing before and each and every time, my body had the same reaction. His voice was special and never had I ever heard such an amazing and outstanding one like his. The singing of his alone could make any girl fall in love with, and maybe that's what was happening to me as the song they played came to its end.

    The room was once cold due to the winter air from outside had turned suddenly hot. Most likely, from the instruments and heavy breaths from the guys.

"You liked it?" Alex grabs my attention, smirking a little.

   I quickly nodded my head into an agreement. I more than liked it, and wished I could tell that to him but couldn't from others being around. The song had put my uneasiness to a short rest but risen once again. 

    "I feel like my neighbors will call the cops for a noise complaint again." Jack heavily sighed, taking a quick sip of his water bottle afterwards. "Let’s play a quieter song like Lullabies.”

    Immediately and without a warning, Alex had snapped. "No." He firmly said. I sat there confused to why he had reacted to Jack's suggestion but it wasn't like I was going to say anything anyways.

     The frown upon Jack's face was indicating there was something much more than what really meets the eye. "Why not?" He pouted.

   Alex was no longer looking at me, but rather tuning his strings. "Because." He harshly mumbled.

    The tense interaction had caused the anxiety deep within my stomach grow, and my breathing to become unsteady. I wanted to leave from the scene. How come Alex didn’t want to play this certain song will most likely be a mystery to me.

   My mind filled with the thoughts of Derek's party, and the fact I was no longer comfortable or okay with being around Rian, Jack, and Zack. Perhaps on another day, but right now, I wanted to get away. 

    Without thinking, I got up on my legs, which had a difficult time due to the sudden weakness in my knees. My heart pounded against my chest at an unhealthy rate as I breathed in and out through my mouth. The vulnerability of this situation had me at full advantage while Alex and Jack feud over this so called Lullabies song.

 Rushing out the same door I had enter with, I held my arms close to me as I walked into the freezing air. The refreshment of the breeze cooled me down while I stood outside on the wet grass. The wind howled in the dark night as I stared up to the stars that stood out in the sky.

"Are you okay?" I heard Alex coming closer to me, funny how it was the second time of asking the same question on the same night.

    I held my breath for whatever reason I was still trying to figure out. I had the biggest desire to be in my bed and have a cup of hot coco, but right now, this was where I was at. And where I was just so happened to be the front yard of Jack's in the winter air, on a Friday night. There was no way I could go home, Derek's party must be in full swing right now.

"Laila, speak to me?" 

   Trying to figure out what in the world I was doing, I had realized I was accidentally ignoring him.

"Can we go to your apartment?" I asked shyly.

   "Yeah sure, um let me get my keys." Alex didn't question me any further and walked back to the garage, leaving me alone. 

    It was only a matter of time until I was back in Derek's car and driving right behind Alex to his apartment. I felt guilty for what I did, and still ponder why the sudden feeling I had washed me over like that. But it did, and it reminds me that I still have so much more to work out with my social skills. The boys were all so nice and yet here I was on the verge of perhaps a panic attack around them.

    Shortly, we pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex and had the intense silence lingering as we made our way to his apartment.

   The jiggling of his keys inserted into his lock, and opened to his apartment - that seemed to be getting cleaner every time I visited.

    As Alex went to go spare extra clothes, well I assumed he was, I made myself at home on his couch per usual. While the seconds passed and the ticking minute of the clock nearby, my nerve wracking thoughts slowly took a stop, but were still in the back of my head.

   The wonderful smell of Alex was lingering around in the air around me had reminded me of how I was so indulged into how much I adored Alex. 

   Alex finally came in sight, placing some boxers and a t-shirt on the coffee table. He sat closely next to me, his warmth radiated off to my terribly cold skin.

   "Derek's throwing a party at my house, so I don't think it's best if I went home." I heavily sighed, informing him.

   "Oh." He said nothing but that while nodding his head in understanding.

    While the numbing silence took in place, and the awful noise of the squeaking from the fan above us drained out any type of conversing, I take notice of the movies that were stacked up near his television. 

    I nearly giggled when I noticed he had The Notebook in the pile. I had read the book not that long ago, but would never expect Alex to be that type of guy to ever watch a movie like that.

"What is it?" He frowned a little.

   I smiled down, shaking my head. "You don't seem like the type of guy who would watch The Notebook."

    It took him a moment to realize what I was referring to but in a swift moment, he was putting the DVD in the player. "It's my old roommate’s movie but why not watch it." He shrugged.

    A smile lit up on my face and a strong bubbly feeling came over me. The excitement over watching this movie had only made me forget about what happen merely fifteen minutes. 

    Alex snuggled up to me while the movie played, and a blanket was thrown into the mix sometime in the duration as well. My eyes were becoming wearily as the light from the tv was the only thing illuminating the room.

    The love between the two characters almost made me a little sick, it just was so odd. Although of course it was all acting, but they did a pretty good job of acting in love.

In love.

    Something so foreign to me but little did my heart know it was around the corner, or in my case, sitting on the same couch as me.

   My eyes introverted from the screen to see Alex, his eyes were glued to the tv. His mouth was slightly opened while his hair was completely tousled. The baseball shirt we wore merely made me want to throw myself at him. That was something new. Never had I ever had a desire to do something like that, but I did, and it was all for Alex. He made me want to my hands on every part of him. And in the best intentions and as anything romantic goes. 

   But that was it, which was what I had been scared to realize. The love that was on the screen in front of us seemed something so impossible and in ways I once thought was what my parents had.

Alex caught my staring, his brown orbs staring into mine. "What's on your mind, Angel?"

   The nickname sent the familiar warmth through me, and it wasn’t just the nickname, it was the way he said it. So smooth with his raspy accent on top of it. The first time he had ever called me angel felt weird as ever, but now, I loved it, and it felt natural with having him calling me angel.

   "Isn't it dumb? How someone doesn't realize they are falling in love with someone in an exact moment? But once your heart is ripped out by the one who you were falling for, you catch the feeling and just know that you are in love. And it will take you months to recover, depending on the damage. But isn't it stupid? To be so hopelessly in love? To the point you don't know what was life was like before you met that certain someone? Then you try to spend the rest of your life to try to not remember." I had said it all less than one breath, my whole mind and thoughts completely poured out of my mouth. 

"Again, with not believing in love?" He shook his head a little, referring to our first date.

   "Maybe I do when it comes to others. But when I look at my parents? It seems to be a vanishing thought in my mind that I no longer want to catch after. I have no use for it."

   "Well, I'm determined to call you bluff." He reminded me.

   "With all pleasure but don't get your hopes up Alexander Gaskarth."

I was yet to be so skeptical about love.

           The undeniable feeling was both in their guts at the time, but neither of them made the time to say about to one another. It was now the game of bluff to Alex, and in that very moment, he was now willing to do whatever for this girl. Even though she doesn't believe in love, he was determined to find a way. But now, years later, she was once again, a daydream away.

______

A.N

Okayyyy! I gotta lot to say.

First thing first, moving went good! And I'm going to back to school in 13 days, which means, and most likely, The Remembering will be updated once a week when I go back to school, and probably will be updated every Friday (or Saturday) just like Wasteland for the Teenaged (my other fanfic that I completed during the school year)

Also! I've started a Harry Styles fanfiction called 'Dear, {H.S}' If you could check it out and give it a shot, it would mean a lot. Trust me when I say it won't be like most cliche Harry Styles fanfictions around Wattpad.

Also, we've hit 5k reads! Thank you so much! :)

Chapter dedication; fxckgaskarths :)

-Kc Aug 5, 2014

Don't forget to vote! It helps my story grow and it's a simple thing to do.