Chapter 21

The call with Yasmin ended but her words lingered in my head long after I'd hung up.

It wasn't like I didn't know what came with being in the public eye - I'd been living it for years. But this felt different, bigger. It wasn't just my career on the line, it was Billie's too. And the last thing I wanted was to drag her into some tabloid fuelled circus because I couldn't keep my feelings under wrapped.

I sprawled out on the couch, rubbing my eyes with the palm of my hands."I'm gonna die"

Ivy plopped down beside me her coffee mug balancing on her knee."You're not gonna die"

"I am. Yasmins gonna put me through PR boot camp and I'm gonna implode."

Aidan smirked from his spot at the kitchen counter, typing something on his laptop "At least you'll implode with good hair"

I groaned, burying my face in a throw pillow."I can't believe I have to do media training. I barely survived the last album cycle"

"That's because you answered every interview question like you were being held at gunpoint" Ivy pointed out, elbowing me lightly "Which, honestly, is kind of your charm, but if you're trying to keep things with Billie low key, you're gonna need to get better at dodging questions"

I lifted my head, squinting at her "How do you even do that?"

She grinned, "deflect, be vague, make jokes or just talk in circles until they get tired of asking."

Aidan glanced up, arching a brow "Or you could, just I don't know, tell the truth?"

Ivy threw a napkin at him."She can't just say 'yeah I'm wildly in love with Billie Eilish, thanks for asking"

I sat up, heart skidding to a halt" I'm not wildly in love with her"

They both stared at me.I flushed, heat creeping up my neck."I'm not"

Ivy set her mug down and turned to face me fully, her expression soft."Em, no one's judging you. You don't have to label it. But it's okay to feel what you feel, even if it is messy. Even if it is terrifying"

My chest squeezed, and I hugged the pillow tighter "It is terrifying"

"I know" she bumped her shoulder against mine."Buy you have us, and you've got her"

I nodded, swallowing around the lump in my throat." I just don't want to mess it up"

Aidan closed his laptop, leaning back in his chair."Then don't. Do the training, wear the fancy clothes. Smile for the cameras. Do whatever it takes, because if she makes you this happy. god It's worth it"

I smiled at Aidan, thanking him for his kind but harsh words. Something I know I need to hear

My phone buzzed on the coffee table

Billss:I miss you

I exhaled sharply, my heart twisting in my chest.

Emmy:I miss you too, I can't wait :)

I sat my phone down, I had no idea what the next few weeks would look like. But I knew one thing for sure I was willing to face it all, for her.

-

A week later I found myself sitting in a sleek, glass walled conference room, palms sweaty against my jeans. Yasmin sat beside me, scrolling through her phone like she hadn't dragged me here at nine in the morning, a stern looking woman named Laura, with a clipboard and an immovable expression, paced at the front of room.

"Media training isn't about lying" Laura began, adjusting her glasses.

"It's about controlling the narrative. People will dig for a story. You decide what you give them"

I shifted in my chair, stomach twisting, Yasmin glanced at me, offering the smallest, most unsympathetic smile.

"Let's start with mock questions" Laura continued. She cleared her throat, voice shifting into an unnervingly chipped tone.

"Ember, there has been rumour's about you and Billie Eilish spending a lot of time together. Are you two dating?"

I blinked, panic crawling up my spine."Uh- we're just friends"

Laura's brow lifted."You said that like a question. Try again"

My throat dried out.

"We're friends. She's- she's amazing. And I respect her so much"

Laura nodded. "Better. But you lingered too long, the longer you talk, the more room for speculation. Say less, smile more. Deflect with charm."

Yasmin leaned back in her chair, watching me with the patience of someone who had been through this a hundred times."It gets easier" she muttered.

"Does it?" I whisper back

"No" she said, her lips twitching "But you get better and pretending"

We ran through dozens of questions - about Billie, about my music, about old rumours I thought had died ages ago. Laura corrected my posture, coached me on vocal tone, and made me practice redirecting conversations so many times I thought my brain might melt, I had to rehearse scenarios where paparazzi cornered me outside venues, where interviewers slipped in invasive questions mid segment, even a situation where a fan live streamed an interaction trying to get me to slip up. It was exhausting, and the weight of how relentless fame could be settled heavier on my chest with every passing hour.By the end of the session I slumped against the table, utterly drained.

"Not bad" Laura said, tucking her clipboard under her arm. "We'll schedule a few more sessions before you leave next week. You'll need it"

I nodded weakly, my skull buzzing like a blown out speaker. Yasmin stood. Gathering her things and waiting for me to drag myself to my feet.

"Proud of you" she said, almost casual, like she wasn't tossing me a life raft.

I wiped my hands on my jeans, exhausted to say the least."Thanks for not letting me spontaneously combust"

"It's my job" she teased, nudging me toward the door."Besides, I think you're gonna be okay"

I wasn't sure if she meant the media stuff or the Billie stuff. Maybe both. Maybe, it didn't matter.

Once I made it home I immediately plopped down on my bed, exhausted from 4 hours of non stop questions and criticism. My phone buzzed in my pocket, I grabbed it, smiling when I saw her name.

bills:I'm coming to pick you up, I wanna see you

Emmy:Best thing I've heard all day, c u soon

Billie showed up that evening, pulling up to my apartment in a sleek black SUV with tinted windows. My heart jumped into my throat the second I saw her - even through the glass, I could feel the weight of not seeing her for a week.I grabbed my bag and practically flew down the stairs, bursting through the front door before she even made it to the sidewalk. Covered head to toe.

She grinned when she saw me, and just like that, the exhaustion of the day melted off me like it was never there.

"Hey pretty" she said, her voice warm, teasing

I didn't even answer - I just threw my arms around her, putting my face in her neck as she hugged me back, tight and grounding. She smelled like her vanilla and musky perfume.

"I hate media training" I mumbled against her hoodie

She laughed, the sound vibrating through me."I know, Yasmin sent my manager a ten minute voice memo about it"

I groaned, pulling back just enough to look at her, I know she's tired, I can tell.

"Come on" She said lacing her fingers through mine."Let's go back to my place. You can tell me all about how terrible your day was, and i'll pretend I don't have to do the same next week"

The drive to Billie's house was quiet, but the kind of quiet that felt safe. My hand rested in hers the entire way, and every few minutes, she'd squeeze my fingers like she was checking to make sure I was still there. I watched the city blur past the window, my mind buzzing with everything Laura had drilled into me, but the second Billie pulled into her driveway, it all faded.

Her house was dimly lit with soft lamps and candles that smelled like cinnamon and pine. I kicked my shoes off and flopped onto her couch without thinking, like I belonged there, and Billie collapsed right next to me, tossing a blanket over us.

We talked for while, she explained to me how tough but amazing rehearsals were going and how she was so excited to go back to Australia. I explained, in detail about my training. She laughed until she almost cried when I reenacted Laura's exaggerated impression of my first failed answer.

"You're gonna kill it" Billie whispered, her head resting against my shoulder, voice soft but certain."I know it sucks, but you'll handle it. You always do"

I tilted my head to look at her, my heart thudding hard enough to shake me."What if I mess it all up? What if I ruin everything for you?"

Her fingers curled around mine, gentle but sure. "You won't. And even if something happens - even if people find out, we'll figure it out together"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, leaning into her touch like it could anchor me to the ground.She made this all so worth it.