Chapter 5: Narcissa

I was sitting on the train with Aethyl and Aldona. 

"So— you're spending the holidays at the Lupins'?" Aethyl asked. 

"Yeah."

"Are you happy about it?"

"I don't know. How do you tell your boyfriend's parents that you're going to have a child that isn't their son's while you're with their son?"

"You don't have to, Narcissa. You can tell them that it's yours and Remus'."

"Sure. If we remain together, because he might leave me once he realises that raising a kid is difficult."

"I'm sure he'll be there for you when you need him."

"Maybe."

"I promise, Narcissa."

We arrived at King's Cross station. I got up and started walking out of the train with the girls when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't have to turn around. I already knew it was Remus.

We all got out and walked towards the muggle side of King's Cross station where Remus' father was waiting for us. 

"Hey dad," he said. 

"Remus, my son!"

"Dad, meet my girlfriend, Narcissa."

"Hello Narcissa. Nice to meet you! My son told me a lot about you!"

"Really?"

"Yes."

We walked out and stepped in Remus' father's car. 

"So, Narcissa, you're in Slytherin, is that right?"

"Yes, Sir," I said. 

"Please call me Lyall. I'm not that old."

"Of course."

"Do you have common subjects?"

"Yes. Potions, Ancient Runes studies and Arithmancy," Remus said. 

"Okay. What do you want to do once you graduate, Narcissa?"

"I'd like to work at Gringotts with my older sister."

"Great!"

"Yes."

"Maybe it's a little early, but do you two plan to get married some day?"

"Yes, maybe," Remus answered. 

"Good. I'm sure that you'll give me beautiful grandchildren," he said with a smile. 

Remus and I exchanged a glance and he smiled too. 

"How's mum doing?"

"She's very sick, Remus. They don't think she'll make it 'til this summer."

"What? Dad—"

"I know, Remus. You want to be there."

"Of course I do, dad!"

"Remus. Please. I know. I'll send you an owl if I see that she won't make it 'til you come back."

An hour later, we were at their place. 

Remus and Lyall took me to a room at the far end of the corridor where a woman was lying on a bed. She seemed rather young, in her late thirties, maybe.

"Remus," she said with a smile when she saw him. 

"Hey mum," he said. "Uhm— I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Narcissa."

I realised that he wasn't saying my last name. Maybe his father wouldn't accept me if he knew I was a Black. 

"Hello Mrs. Lupin," I said, standing next to Remus so that she would see me.

"Hello Narcissa. It's nice to meet you," she said with a weak smile. 

*°*°*°

The Easter holidays went by fast. Like Remus said, we ate lots of chocolate and I visited Andromeda and Ted.

The O.W.L.s arrived too and went by fast. Severus and Lily weren't friends anymore. I always thought they were a great example of how the Gryffindors and the Slytherins could be friends.

*°*°*°

It was the summer holidays. I was staying at Andromeda's place. I had no news from Remus, so I didn't know how his mother was doing, just that she was alive when he went back there for the holidays. 

I was dreading November because I would be celebrating my sixteenth birthday — my parents had an argument with Professor Dumbledore to let me attend Hogwarts one year prior — and would have to have a kid with Lucius Malfoy. 

"How's Remus?" Andromeda asked one evening while we were eating dinner. 

"I don't know. I sent him some owls, but he didn't answer much. I think he doesn't have much time to answer."

"Or maybe his mother isn't doing fine?" Ted suggested.

"I don't know. He doesn't talk about her," I said. 

"We can visit them? I think I know where they live," Andromeda said. 

"How?" I asked. 

She shrugged. "Lyall Lupin is well-known."

"So where—"

"In a little cottage in Cardiff."

"Okay, but wouldn't we be disturbing them?" Ted asked.

"Maybe, but he should have answered to Narcissa."

"Andy. It's fine," I said.

"No. You need him."

"Andy. He's probably at home, having some family time before his mother dies."

"I don't care. He should answer you."

"Let it go, Andromeda," Ted said.

"No. I'll go there and talk some sense into him!"

"Andromeda. It's okay. I'll see him in two months."

"And so what? He'll break up with you!"

"He won't, okay?"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Please, Andy! Drop it!"

"Okay, fine!"

I went upstairs to my bedroom and started thinking. Will he really break up with me? Is it my fault? What have I done? Is that why he doesn't write to me anymore? How will I do, alone, with a child I don't want to have?

I fell asleep, over-thinking about the reason why Remus wasn't answering. 

The following day, I had my O.W.L.s results and got Exceeds Expectations everywhere except in Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, where I got Outstandings. 

*°*°*°

It was the 1st of September. I was excited because I'd be seeing Remus again.

I got on the train and sat with Aethyl, Aldona, Lily and Alice. 

"Did you hear about Remus during the holidays, Narcissa?" Lily asked once the train left.

"No. Why?"

"He didn't answer my letters."

"Do you think that something happened to him?"

"I don't know, hopefully not."

Just then, our compartment door opened and Potter, Sirius and Pettigrow came in. 

"Hey girls. Have you seen Remus?" Potter asked. 

"No, why?" Alice asked. 

"He didn't answer our letters at all and he isn't on the train."

"James. Maybe something happened and he'll come at the end of the week," Lily said. 

We arrived at Hogwarts, watched the Sorting Ceremony, listened to Dumbledore's speech, ate dinner and went to our dorms.

 *°*°*°

A week passed. We all were worried about Remus. 

One Monday, two weeks after we came back, I was sitting in the library when I felt someone sit down next to me. I looked up. It was Remus! I jumped into his arms and hugged him. He hugged me back. None of us seemed to want to let go.

"What happened?" I asked against his shoulder. 

"My mother died and the full moons didn't help. I stayed home a little longer because I wanted to make sure that my father would be fine on his own."

"I'm sorry. For your mother. When did she—?"

"On August the 22nd."

"I'm sorry. She was very sick, then?"

"Yes. I couldn't answer the letters. I wanted to, but I couldn't because she needed me when my father was at work and then I was too tired to answer them."

"I understand. How's your father doing?"

"He'll be fine, but I'll have to get back home for Christmas. You might come, if you'd like."

"I don't know, Remus. I'll be a month pregnant."

"I know. That's why you should come. To breathe in some fresh air."

"I'll see."

"Okay, but please remember that I'll always be there for you if you need me."

I nodded. "Thanks Remus."

"You're welcome."

*°*°*°

Friday, October the 31st. It was Halloween. I hated this day. I just wanted to go back in time. I didn't want to be tomorrow. It would be my birthday and I would be sleeping at the Leaky Cauldron, with Lucius Malfoy. It disgusted me. 

I spent the day with Remus. He tried to comfort me the best he could, but nothing worked. I was panicking. I couldn't go there. He'd take advantage of me. 

I was crying in Remus' arms while he was holding me. 

"Narcissa. I love you. It'll be okay. And if it isn't, I'll make you forget, okay?"

I nodded, not understanding how he would be able to make me forget.