Chapter 29

"I was walking into my house when I was on the phone with you," Justin explained. "Before you had found Riley, I was moving my luggage to my car. I was drinking water from this cup." He showed me the cup. "I know for a fact it was this one, because I remember thinking of how this was the one you used when you came to my house for the first time."

I giggled a little. "You remember that?"

"We're getting off topic," he shook his head. "Then you called me, telling me Riley was hurt and you needed me to come over. I did of course, but all I remember is helping Riley up to your room. That's seriously it Jess."

"What are you saying?"

"When I was talking to you a few minutes ago, I was just coming back from the market-"

"Why'd you freak out and tell me to come over?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Because," he guided me into the kitchen. "I found this sitting on my counter next to the cup I used yesterday."

He gave me a small package of something, but I couldn't figure it out. "So?"

"Jess, that's the drug I used on you."

I dropped it to the floor, my heart plummeting. "What does this mean?"

"It means someone knows I drugged you, and they used the same drug on me before I came over last night. That's why I don't remember-" his eyes suddenly met mine, his hand brushing my swollen cheek slightly. "Did I do this to you?" He whispered.

I didn't know what to say. It wasn't really his fault, I didn't want him to feel any more guilty than he was. "I'm really okay-"

"God damn it," he hissed, running a hand through his hair. "You have to believe me. I would never hurt you." His eyes were frantic; scared.

I smiled faintly. "I do."

"I just-"

Ring.

He sighed, looking into my eyes. I was just glad it wasn't my phone that was ringing this time. "One sec."

I nodded as he answered it, walking further into the living room.

"What? Are you okay?" I faintly heard. "Yeah, yeah I know. I'm- I'm so sorry. Are you sure you're okay? Mom?"

A spark of interest flooded through my brain. He got a phone call from his mom when I was in the hospital too. It made me wonder how their relationship was before he moved here.

He came back into the kitchen, taking me off guard. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. My mom just," he paused. "Fell."

"What? Is she okay?" I stepped closer.

"She's going to be fine." He said quickly. "So I was wondering-"

Ring.

I rolled my eyes. "One sec?"

He chuckled, nodding.

I walked into the living room now and answered my phone, more than pissed off at all the calls I've been getting lately. "What?" I hissed.

"Oh, um, sorry Jessica. It's Brad. I just wanted you to know that I'm staying another week, and you can keep my car until I leave. It seems like you'll need it more than I do."

"Oh, are you sure? You don't have to do that-"

"I want to." He replied. "Besides, I like walking around here anyway. It all reminds me of your mom."

I laughed. "Walking around Hampstead reminds you of my mom?"

"It's just refreshing to know she was here at one point in time." He sighed. "Anyway, is it okay if I come to your house Friday to pick it up?"

"Definitely," I smiled, despite the fact he couldn't see me. "See you then." I hung up and walked back to see Justin putting his shoes on. "Where are you going?"

"Where are we going?" He smirked. "I'm taking you out to lunch." He stepped closer to me, smiling with his teeth. "Just like we used to."

My stomach flopped at his words, memories filling my brain. "Don't you think we have a lot to discuss?"

"We can do it on the way," he smiled and started to tug on my arm. "Come on."

I gave in and put my shoes on as well, following his lead to his truck.

Ten minutes had gone by with no words said. So much for discussion.

We were driving practically in the middle of nowhere. There were fields on each side of us, the road never ending.

Clearing his throat, Justin slowed the car down until it was pulled over on the side of the road.

"We're eating in the middle of a field?"

He shook his head, looking straight ahead. "I um, I wanted to take advantage of you Jess."

"What are you talking about?" My heart beat excelled.

"When I drugged you," he still wouldn't look at me. "I- I wanted to have sex."

I felt disgusted. Not enough to be angry, but the words that just came out of his mouth made my heart stop, a depressed and disappointed mood kicking in.

It was silent for awhile, the only sound being the faint noise of birds chirping outside.

"I regretted it the second I did it. You were so out of it, you couldn't even remember your name. You were telling me things, things you probably didn't want me to know-"

"Like what?" I turned my head to look at him, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

"You um, started talking about your mom."

My stomach dropped. The last thing I wanted was for Justin to add another thing to his list of the things that are wrong with Jessica Johnson's life.

"You were so loopy, I knew what I had done was so wrong. I put you to bed, and you fell asleep almost instantly. I woke up at 3 in the morning and you were gone. I can't even begin to explain what I was feeling. I was about to call the police, but then you came home. You also brought along the news that you had just vandalized Jake's bedroom." He stopped, never once looking in my eyes. "I was so close to turning myself in."

"Why would you-"

"It's all my fault, Jess!" He wiped his face with his hands. "The only reason you did what you did is because I was the one who made you."

"You didn't make me-"

"I drugged you Jess." He shook his head, tears springing to his eyes. I couldn't believe my eyes. The fact he was actually breaking down in front of me blew my mind. "I figured if I ran away, it'd be the best for everyone. I would stop hurting people. I would stop hurting you." He finally looked at me for the first time in the entire conversation. A tear slipped down his cheek.

"Riley was in Holly Ridge visiting her grandparents. I coincidentally ran into her at a gas station, and she knew in two seconds something was up. I had to tell someone, it was eating me alive Jess."

"You should've told me."

"You would've hated me." He sniffled. "How would I ever be able to tell you something like that?"

I stared at him blankly, not knowing what to say.

"Riley was pretending to be my girlfriend. The name of the hotel room we were staying at was under my name, but if someone came to the door she would answer and say she was my girlfriend so people wouldn't think I was with you, because they could piece it together pretty fast."

I was speechless; hurt. We sat in silence for a long time, probably longer than we ever have.

"I just want you to know," he whispered finally. "If you ever want to do anything like that with me, our day will come." He grabbed my hand in his and looked into my eyes. "I regret what I did to you more and more everyday, and I always will."

I stared at him, feeling such mixed emotions.

"In my mind, having sex and making love are two completely different things. When I drugged you, I never thought I would fall in love with you as much as I did. I would never want to have sex with you, but someday," he paused. "I want to make love to you, just to show you how much I truly care about you."

His thumb rubbed my palm, sending chills up and down my spine. I felt numb, like I couldn't move.

"I'm in love with you Jess." He barely whispered, making my heart skip a beat.

"I love you too."

"What?" His ears perked, eyes lighting up.

"I said," I paused, smiling for what felt like the first time in ages. "I love you too." Stopping, I whispered, "So much." More to myself than him.

He looked at me like he never has before. Of course he's looked at me before, but this was so different. He's never had this look in his eye.

It took our relationship to a completely different level.

He ran his fingers to the back of my neck, pulling my head towards his. He kissed me softly and quickly, the passion evident.

"I could get used to that."

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next update: saturday, the 23rd.