Chapter 11

"Hello?" I answered my phone, walking into the kitchen. Justin needed to get his tired changed on his car, so I was home alone.

"Jessica," the woman sighed.

I knew exactly who is was.

"Mrs. Banks," I rolled my eyes. "What can I do for you?"

"Just calling to check up," she said as if she actually cared.

"Check up on what? Me?" I grabbed an apple from the counter.

"Yes, how have you been?" She said.

"Great," I said nervously. "How about you?"

"I was doing good, these past few days have been a little rough though."

"Oh, why's that?"

"Well, I stopped by your house two days ago-" my heart dropped. "and you weren't there, so I thought maybe you were running errands or something. But then I stopped the next day, and I stopped this morning. Is that coincidental, or is there something you're not telling me Jessica?"

"It's coincidental," I said a little too quickly.

"Where are you right now?"

"Home," I said quickly, again.

She paused and I could almost feel her smile. "You wanna know how I know you're lying?"

I gulped and didn't say anything.

"Because I'm sitting in your driveway," she finished. "Now Jessica, why on earth would you lie to me?"

"What do you want?" I spat.

"I know more than you think Jessica." She said. "Way more."

"How so?"

"Well for starters, I know you killed my son."

I felt hot tears run down my cheeks as I stopped breathing completely. Now that she knows, my life's over. I'll go to jail, and probably never come back. Murder is a big deal.

"Well wherever you are, the police are on the lookout. Goodbye Jessica." She hung up.

I sat there with the phone still pressed to my ear, the dial tone ringing loudly as I tried to control my breathing. Prison? This can't be happening. It's not like I have a mom to run to, or anyone for that matter. The only person I had was Justin, and he could only do so much.

I dialed a number on my phone, a number that called me frequently and was annoying, but was a person I somewhat trusted. Sharon.

"This is Sharon," she answered.

"Sharon," I breathed out. "I really need to talk-"

"Of course honey! Is everything okay? Do you want me to come over?"

"Yes, but not at my house. You know that log cabin right behind the makeup boutique?"

"I know exactly where you're talking about," she said. "I'll be right over." ___________________________

About twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I took a breath and walked towards it. Now as I rethink it, I become paranoid. What if trusting her is a mistake? What if after I tell her, she goes straight to the police? After all, she is a detective. They practically live for the police. Then again, she's really all I have. I needed to open up.

"Hi," I said once I opened the door.

"Hi," she smiled wholeheartedly.

I guided her inside and we sat opposite from each other. "What brings you here?" She questioned.

I sighed. "I'm living here with a friend. It's pretty complicated, and-" I didn't know what to say. I was officially at a loss for words.

"We've got time." She whispered.

I appreciated her patience and compassion more than anything. "I've treated you like shit." I said finally. "Complete shit. I don't even know why you want to help me, I'm such a shallow and terrible per-"

"Stop it." She said. "I'm here for you, let's talk about that right now. Okay?"

I nodded. I still felt terrible.

"Why did you call me here, Jessica?" She said after awhile.

I looked up, not knowing if I should really tell her. "I'm," I paused. "I'm under investigation for murder," my voice cracked. "My boyfriends murder."

She gasped lightly. "What- how-"

"And it's true," I felt my throat close, eyes start to burn. "It's all true."

"This is where you're hiding?" She whispered.

I nodded, a tear rolling down my cheek.

No one said anything. Complete silence.

"I need you to keep this between us," I said, shaking. "Please."

She looked at me for awhile, but eventually nodded. "I'll stay here until your friend gets back."___________________________

We spent the remainder of the afternoon goofing off. We watched a movie, and didn't even end up watching it. Just laughed at each other through the entire thing.

She reminded me of the mom I never had. Well, I guess I had a mom. Not that I can remember her, at all. And as I sit here, with Sharon's laugh ringing through my ears, I feel as though a part of me has been replenished. Like one of the missing parts is there, and I couldn't explain the feeling if I tried. I felt like I was reliving the childhood I should've lived, not the crappy one I ended up living.

I wondered if she had kids. If so, her kids should be the happiest kids alive. Not only would they have a mom, they would have the best one.

"Do you have any kids?" I asked after a few moments of silence.

She glanced at me and smiled. "Yeah. I used to anyway."

"Oh, what happened?"

She looked at me and sighed. "Life sucks. If I could see my child again, I'd be the happiest person alive. My husband made a huge impact on my child getting taken away from me."

I gasped a little. "Seriously? That's horrible." I couldn't imagine something like this happening to her. In life, the worst things always happen to the best people. I'll never understand it. How certain people can get away with certain things, but the people who are going through the most never show it. If I would've never brought up Sharon having kids, she would've never told me. Even the thought of her getting her child taken away made me sick.

I looked at her face. She looked tired, worn down. "I hope we can stay close."

She laughed a little. "You want to be friends with a 42 year old women? Wow, you must really be desperate." She nudged me to let me know she was kidding.

I playfully slapped her. "I mean it."

She smiled and laid her head back. "Me too."

Suddenly, the door opened. Sharon and I both turned our heads at the same time, waiting for whoever was entering. Justin emerged from the door, smiling at me. Looking a little surprised, he immediately walked over and greeted Sharon.

"I'm Justin," he stuck out his hand. "Its nice to meet you."

She smiled warmly and shook his hand. "I'm Sharon."

He smiled back and looked between us. "So, how do you two know each other?" He said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, I'm Jessica's-"

"Friend," I cut her off. "We go way back."

Sharon looked at me strangely, then back to Justin who had the same expression on his face. "Alright," he said.

I felt bad lying to him. Well, I guess I wasn't really lying. It just made me feel nervous, since he doesn't know about my mom. I should tell him soon, before Sharon does. If she let it slip, he'll probably get mad. Heck, he'd probably never talk to me again. I know I have some issues with my life, but it's almost as if I was scared to let that show. I didn't need the attention, or the sympathy. I didn't want Justin to think I wanted him to feel bad for me, because that's not the case at all. Then again, Justin's such a caring person. He'd probably understand, then give me a lecture on how he's always there for me. But that's the thing, I don't want sympathy. It gets old. How everyone's always in your face like "oh I'm so sorry, that must be terrible." Or, "you poor thing. Is there anything I can do to help?" Even if people are trying to be nice, it's tiring. I like to keep to myself.

"I better get going," Sharon spoke up. "Call me, okay?"

I nodded quickly, walking her to the door. Before she stepped out completely, she turned around and whispered in my ear, "You can trust me." And just like that, she was gone.

I turned around, Justin looking at me from the living room. "How was your day?" He questioned.

"Alright," I sighed, plopping down on the couch.

"Did something happen?" He sat on the coffee table across from me.

I sighed again and looked him in the eye. "Mrs. Banks called."

He looked a little taken back. Our knees touched, but he still leaned closer. "What happened?"

"She said she knew I was hiding."

"What? Jess," he didn't know what to say. I could tell he was nervous.

"And," I continued, chuckling. "She also let me know that she was well aware of the fact I killed Jake."

He didn't say anything. Just stared at me, mouth slightly open. "Jess," he paused. "What are we gonna do?"

I stayed silent for awhile. Finally, I slouched. "I don't know," I squeaked.

He ran his fingers through he hair and threw his head back. "Shit."

"How could she even know?" I whispered, trying not to cry.

"This can't happen." He shook his head, trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

We both didn't say anything, just sat and stared off into space. After some deep thought, I forced myself to my feet. "I can make us dinner."

"You don't have-"

"I will." I whispered, knowing he wasn't taking this well. Now that Mrs. Banks knows, I could be sent to prison any minute. I could he in there for a lifetime, and Justin and I would never get to see each other again. And that's what I think worried him most.

I wanted to make different that we'd both like, but Justin didn't have much for food. He still sat in the living room with his face in his hands. I searched the fridge and all of the cupboards, nothing. I walked back towards the living room, keeping my distance. "I'm not that hungry," I said quietly. "Maybe I should go unpack a little more."

He still didn't say anything, which hurt me on the inside. I hated this situation as much as he did, if not more. I slowly meandered into my new room, shutting the door quietly. I had no idea how I was going to fit all of my clothes into this closet.

I opened the closet doors which made me realize how small it really was. I saw some things laying on a shelf on top, so I thought maybe I could move them to the floor to make more room. I stood on a chair and grabbed what I could, which was dusty books and magazines. I laid them on the floor and coughed, the dust getting to me. I finally took the last stack of books when an envelope fluttered to the ground. I slowly stepped off of the chair and set down the books, grabbing the envelope. It looked somewhat newer, but maybe it's because it was the only thing in the closet that wasn't dusty. I opened it, unfolding it in my hands.

Dear Justin,

Hi baby. I miss you. I hope I got the right address. I just was wondering how things have been going, it's been hard in Denver ever since you ran away. I heard you ran into your dad, that must have been scary. I miss you so much, just the thought of you makes me happy. I can't stop thinking about you. Do you remember the first time you kissed me? Brings back so many memories. You're the most romantic person, god it's hard to survive without you. I hope you haven't found anyone better than me, because remember, you're mine. Please come home soon, or take me with you. I love you so much Justin.

Love, Riley.

Who the hell is Riley? I tucked the letter away, and stared at it. What about us? I knew he had a girlfriend, but he said they broke up. And what about last night? I know we're not official or anything, but we kissed pretty damn gracefully if you ask me.

I walked into the kitchen, holding the letter. Justin was wiping the counters, and turned around once he saw me standing there.

Neither of us said anything, so I finally decided to break the silence. "Who's Riley?" I whispered.

"Huh?"

I paused, a little heartbroken. "I thought we had something." I said quietly.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I put the letter on the counter. He opened it and looked up wide eyed. I felt my eyes burn, I didn't know why I was so stupid to think he liked me.

"Jess," he said.

I paused, trying not to cry. "I'll pack," I choked out, walking back to my room.

"Jess!" He walked quickly after me.

I tried slamming the door but he caught it. "You don't do that!" I yelled. "You don't take me places, or let me stay here, or do me favors, and you definitely do not kiss me like that if you have a damn girlfriend!"

He didn't say anything, just looked at me with regret. "Can we just talk?"

"We've done enough," I walked back into my room not bothering to shut the door, knowing he wouldn't let that happen.

He walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. I laid a suitcase on the bed, stuffing clothes inside it. He whispered in my ear from behind. "So, you liked the way I kissed you?" His hot breath hit my neck, making me weak.

I didn't say anything, just kept putting whatever I could into my suitcase.

"Is that it? You're jealous?" I could feel him smile from behind me.

No one said anything for awhile, when suddenly I felt a kiss on my shoulder, making my breathing stop completely.

He wrapped his arms around my waist until they met on my stomach, his kisses traveling to the back of my neck. He turned me around slowly, still continuing to kiss my neck. "If you want me to kiss you, just ask."

"I don't want you to kiss me." I pushed him back, knowing he was getting to me.

"No?" He walked towards me, which resulted in me backing away.

"Nope," I said, trying to sound convincing.

"I think you're lying," he said once I backed up far enough so I hit the wall.

"I'm not," my voice cracked and I mentally cursed myself.

"Okay," he breathed out, his breath crashing against my lips. "If you say so."

We both stood there, the only sound being our breathing. My eyes slowly closed once I felt Justin's lips mesh into mine while his hands gripped my hips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, loving the feeling. I had kissed Jake before, but it was so different. Everything about Justin was different. A good different.

Even though the kiss made me melt, I had to stop. "Justin," I whispered.

He kept kissing me, acting like he hadn't heard me. "Justin," I repeated, pushing him a little.

He stopped and looked into my eyes, his hands on either side of my head against the wall.

"I can't do this if you have a girlfriend," I breathed out. I still couldn't believe he'd do something like that. If anything I felt bad for the other girl. She said specifically in her letter "remember, you're mine." How can I sit here and kiss him if he has another girl depending on him?

"It's done," he said. "I swear."

I still couldn't shake it off. I felt like he was lying. "How do I know that?"

"She sent that letter a couple days after I left, and after I read it I called and told her it wasn't going to work out." He searched my eyes, waiting for me to say something. After I didn't, he wrapped his arms around my waist and burying his head in my neck. "You're the only one Jess."

His words made my stomach explode with butterflies. He held onto me tightly, and it was that moment when I realized I trust him. I new I could trust him.

I pulled away and grabbed his hand. "I want to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

I exhaled. "About Jake."___________________________

We lay down on my bed in Justin's guest room while I played with the strings on my sweatshirt.

"I started dating Jake when I was 15." I exhaled, wanting to get this over with. "I was homeschooled, so I didn't get out of the house much. Except for working at the shop."

He nodded, wanting me to continue.

"We met at a surfing competition I had signed up for. We were the only two that ended up going to the finals, so we got pretty close. By the time the competition was over, Jake had gotten first and I got second. He always felt the need to rub that in my face, but I didn't mind. It was kind of our joke."

Justin smiled faintly.

I didn't see him until two weeks after that, when he came into the shop for a Mother's Day gift. He talked to me for awhile, and coming to the shop became a daily routine. We would laugh and he would help me fold clothes. He was perfect in my eyes."

Justin stared at the ceiling, not saying anything.

"We dated for three years, until we were both eighteen. The end of our relationship was his death." I sighed shakily.

Justin looked at me. "Which was caused by you?"

I didn't say anything, just continued. "Jake and his mom never got along, which resulted in him spending more time with me. So that explains why she hates me." I ran my fingers through my hair and shifted. "He spent more time with me, but it didn't turn out to be the best thing. He got really mad, and would yell all the time. If he wanted to he would break things, and throw tantrums. He was so immature."

Justin and I both stared at the ceiling in silence.

"By the time we were eighteen, he was a monster. He had extremely bad anger issues. Even I didn't want to be around him anymore."

There was a pause.

"The night Jake died was also the night Jake asked me to marry him."

Justin gasped as my eyes screwed shut; the memories flooding back into my brain.

I walked across the dark street, the night sky making it hard to see. It was almost midnight, and I had finished my last shift at the shop. All I wanted was sleep. I walked up the front steps of my porch unlocking the door. I walked inside, kicking off my shoes and turning on the light switch. I turned to my left to find Jake.

I screamed while he covered my mouth, my heart beating out of control.

"Jess, calm down. It's just me." He said, but that didn't give me any relief.

"W-what are you doing here?" I pulled away from his strong grip.

"I needed to talk to you."

"Can't this wait till tomorrow?" I said taking a couple steps back.

"No," he said through gritted teeth, grabbing my upper arm immediately.

"Okay okay," I put my hands up in surrender. "What is it?"

He smiled slightly and ran his fingers through my hair, reaching in his jacket.

"I love you." He said while I stood frozen at his touch. "I'm in love with you Jessica Anne Johnson. There's nothing that could come between us, because we're so inseparable. You're my other half, and I've realized that there's no way I could survive the rest of my life without you." He took out a velvet box and started to lower to one knee.

I stopped breathing. This couldn't be happening.

"Jessica," he breathed out, opening the box. "Will you marry me?"

I couldn't speak; I couldn't move. He looked at me with hopeful eyes, until his face slowly fell.

"W- We're only eighteen-"

"God dammit!" He threw the ring on the floor. "Do you hate me? Is that what it is!?" He pushed me against the wall, causing me to whimper in pain.

"No," I whispered, scared that if I talked any louder I'd break.

"You do!" He threw a picture frame at the wall, a foot away from my face.

"Jake, calm down-"

"Don't tell me what to do!" He walked into my living room, destroying everything in it. I took this as an opportunity to run.

Flying out the door, I weeped uncontrollably as I ran across the dark street and back to the shop. I ran in through the back door and locked it behind me. I went to the front door to lock that one but I ran directly into Jake.

He chuckled evilly. "I win."

I screamed as his arms circled around my waist and threw me to the ground. I cried out in pain while he pointed a gun directly at me. I got to my feet and sprinted towards the door, shots being fired in the process. The bullets only hit the wall, but I needed to think fast. I ran to the back storage room, and grabbed a box cutter. I covered my mouth to silence my sobs.

"Jesssss," he sang. "Come out come out wherever you-"

He stopped. I stopped. He fell to the floor. I dropped the knife to the ground and cried loudly. I couldn't leave his body here; they'd know. I dragged him by the arm and kept dragging him until we were on the beach. I left him by the shore, which probably wasn't the best place. I weeped and sobbed as I walked back into the shop. I threw away the box cutter and walked to the front. There were bullet holes in the wall. I took a shirt rack and nailed it there, so they were covered. I took one last look around and exited, the night haunting me like it would for the rest of my life.

I felt a wetness under my eyes which I wiped away, because I wasn't even aware I was crying.

"Jess," his voice cracked. "How-" he whispered, not even being able to finish his sentence.

We sat there in silence, and I didn't know if that was a good thing or bad thing.

"We're gonna need to sneak out," I said, walking to the door.

Justin's eyes widened a little as he stopped me. "Are you sure?"

I lightly laughed. "It's just to the shop. Can you handle that?"

He nodded slowly.

I headed out Justin's back door and started walking on the beach; Justin followed.

Catching up, he walked beside me. He glanced at me a few times, but never said anything. I smiled despite what had just gone down. Finally his hand swung into mine, and he interlaced our fingers. He gave my hand a final squeeze before we entered the shop.

We walked in and I took a deep breath. I was shaky as I walked to the front, Justin's hand still in mine. I moved a rack of shirts and stared at the wall. There were slightly small holes in the wall, and I almost passed out. This is where my life almost ended.

"This is-" he paused, taking a double take. "This is where he tried to shoot you?"

I nodded, my chin starting to quiver. "Morgan found it," I said. "The wall I mean. She said the police were looking at it." He stared at me, long and hard. "I'm so scared." I whispered.

He immediately wrapped me in his arms, tucking my head under his chin. "I know," he whispered. "I know."

I cried into his chest. I trusted him. Maybe it didn't matter as much to him, but this is what I needed. Someone to talk to, share things with, and to trust.

"We'll be okay," he said finally. "You'll be okay."___________________________

NOTE:

gahhh. love them. i hope i clarified a lot in this chapter. i feel bad that i haven't been telling you guys when i'm updating, so i've decided i'll just tell you at the end of each chapter if that makes sense. i can't promise it'll be every week, but i'll still tell you the day it'll be coming out. so: the next update will be next thursday! (ahem- the 22nd.) thanks for reading!

twitter: @avonsshawtyy