Chapter 100

Lucy’s POV

“You’re pathetic, Lucy” he sighs, moving me out of the way to get to the door.

“Is that all you have to say?” I frown.

“I don’t know what to say to be honest. You’ve let all your friends down because of your paranoid conscience and you’re arguing with me because I didn’t ‘come and check up on you’. You’re fucking fifteen. Start acting like it!” he snaps before swinging open the front door and storming out of it.

I furiously wipe my tear away from my cheek and lock myself in the bathroom. I run myself a hot bath and strip off while it’s running. I slowly put my foot in the bath and once I’m comfortable with the temperature, I put my whole body in and wait for the bath to fill up.

I’m so fucking angry at Jack. He’s making me feel like I brought all this on myself but he was acting off with me when he came in. He’d usually smile widely at me and ask how I am and stuff but he barely even laid eyes on me. I was gone for 3 hours and he didn’t even ask how I’m feeling and stuff. What the fuck have I done wrong?

And where the hell is my Dad and Matt? They must still be out skiing because I’m sure they’d come back here and get me before they went off for tea. Wouldn’t they?

I don’t even care. I’m not hungry. Jack’s pushed it too far and I know that he’s in the wrong this time. I’m not being paranoid by thinking all 3 of them were avoiding me today. I kind of understand that Conor was just getting extra practice but he could have at least come over and talked to me for a bit.

The last time I had an argument with Jack like that was when he didn’t tell me that Conor was cheating on me. It’s horrible when we argue because it’s so rare and we’re so close.

I think about the snowboarding competition. Do I really want to do it? I understand that I’d be letting them down loads but none of them are even talking to me... Even my boyfriend. I’m sure Lily can take my place though... I mean, her and Conor have been getting on so well today.

This is literally the worst feeling ever. The feeling that your best friends have ditched you. Feeling like you’re just forgotten. I feel empty and I don’t even feel like I can talk to them about it. I don’t want to talk to them about it.

I shouldn’t be sat in this bath feeling sorry for myself while all them are outside having fun. This whole thing has gone way too far now.

After about 45 minutes in the bath, I jump out and change into some clean leggings and a long sleeved top. I put on my sweater and make my way into the living room where Dad and Matt are sat.

“Hey, Lucy. Feeling any better?” Matt asks and I shrug.

“Not really” I simply reply.

“What’s up?” he frowns.

“Nothing, just a bit of a stomach ache” I shrug. I don’t want to tell him about my problems because I know that he’ll go and talk to Eleanor about it and I really don’t want that.

“Well everyone’s outside building an igloo” he chuckles and my face literally drops. Conor said that we would build an igloo when we came here.

“I think I’m going to snowboard for a bit” I tell him before rushing off into my room. I fucking hate them. They haven’t even asked if I wanted to join them or anything. What the hell did I do wrong?

I put on my jacket, pants, boots, wrist guards and gloves and just tie my hair up into a pony tail. I grab my snowboard before rushing through the living room and out the front door. I almost trip over a snowboard that’s right outside the front door but I quickly jump over it before I slip. I see Conor, Eleanor and Jack laughing at the failed igloo they’re trying to make. Yeah, it would’ve been better if you asked for my help.

“Lucy” Conor’s laugh dies down when he sees me. Jack and Eleanor turn around to face me and give me an emotionless stare. I roll my eyes and start walking the opposite direction, towards the ski lift. I get to the top of the ski lift, jump off and look down at the resort from the highest hill.

It’s pretty dark out here and only dim lights light up the steep runway. I take a deep breath and just admire the view for a while. I feel away from everything up here. Away from all the drama and the people. I just need space.

I’m interrupted by someone quickly jumping off the ski lift at the top of the hill.

“Lucy, wait” Conor pants. I snap my head to the side and see him walking up to me while trying to catch his breath. I squint so I can see him clearer. Snow is flying everywhere because of the strong wind and is starting to really hurt my face.

“Oh, so now you care” I choke. He hasn’t spoken to me all day and now he’s chasing up here after me. Fuck you, Conor.

“What are you talking about?” he frowns.

“You’ve been off with Lily all day and haven’t even looked or spoken to me!” I shout.

“You know that was because I was getting extra practice! The competition’s tomorrow and I wanted to get this trick perfect” he explains, taking a step towards me.

“Could you not have taken five minutes out of your precious time with Lily to come and talk to me?” I frown, stepping away from him.

“You think something will happen between me and Lily?” he mutters, clearly hurt by what I’m saying.

“Well what’s not to like? She’s got perfect hair, perfect figure, bright blue eyes, perfect teeth-“

“But she’s not you!” he shouts, interrupting me. “Lucy, when will you realise that I don’t want anyone but you? What’s the point in having this relationship if you don’t even trust me?”

“I do trust you, I just-“

“No, Lucy. You clearly don’t trust me. You can’t trust me to be with another girl without thinking I want to get into her pants” he interrupts me again.

“Well that’s what your routine used to be. You find an attractive girl and you fuck her” I snap. I know I’ve gone too far now and I regret every single word I just said.

“That was fucking out of order” he grits his teeth together.

“It’s what happened though isn’t it! You just can’t face the truth” I scream. I’m so angry right now. I know that everything I’m saying right now is wrong but I can’t stop.

“How would you like it if I brought up your fucking past? Mind you, you probably wouldn’t care because yours wasn’t fucked up like mine. Do you know how much I regret my past, Lucy? You think I liked fucking girls left, right and centre? You think I’m proud of getting into constant fights because I was drunk out of my mind? No, I’m not! And it’s even worse that my girlfriend is bringing it up to try and hurt me!” he shouts and my heart instantly sinks. “I’m the only one that came up here to check on your because everyone is pissed at you for not doing the competition. I defended you and said it was probably because you were in a bad mood. What the fuck have I done to upset you?”

“Conor, I’m sorry” I practically whisper. I feel so bad about everything I’ve done now. I doubted him so much and assumed he didn’t care.

“Why didn’t you just come and talk to me about how you felt?” he frowns.

“Because you were with Lily and I thought I’d be annoying you” I sigh. I sound so stupid.

“Why would you be annoying me? You think I’d rather be snowboarding none stop than spending some time with my girlfriend? Fuck no” he shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair.

“Well you didn’t exactly give me that impression seeing as you left me this morning” I snap.

“I fucking give up” he shakes his head.

“You always do” I mumble, attaching my snowboard to my feet. I need to get away from Conor before I snap big time and regret everything.

“What are you doing?” Conor looks at me in panic.

“Snowboarding. What does it look like?” I frown, hovering over the edge of the hill. I lean forward and start to make my way down the hill.

“Lucy, wait!” I hear Conor scream. I turn around and see him quickly jump down the hill and slide down on the side of his body. What the fuck!?

SHIT.

I forgot my helmet.

I panic and quickly turn away from Conor to see that I’m heading towards the trees at the side of the hill. I quickly skid out of the way only to end up falling to the ice cold floor and rolling down the hill on my side. I try my hardest to stop myself from rolling but the hill’s too steep.

I suddenly become seriously dizzy from rolling but I’m also struggling to keep my eyes open. I feel myself slowing down the hill until I stop, but I don’t have the energy to get out of the snow I’m laying face-down in. I feel paralysed and the only thing I can do is lie on the floor in pain. The last thing I hear is Conor shouting my name before my breathing becomes uneven and-

Black.

-

Head over to the next book to find out what happens next :)