Chapter 53

Conor’s POV

I’ve been waiting at the end of the street for at least 5 minutes now, trying to get my wording perfect. I can’t mess up this time. I’m not losing her again.

Fuck it, I give up. I start to walk towards her door and knock on it with force.

“Just a second” she shouts and I can hear the keys rattling about. She swings open the door and her face drops at the sight of me. I’ve completely forgotten the script I’ve been working on for about 15 minutes.

Lucy’s POV

“Can I come in?” he asks. No.

“I don’t want to talk right now” I say in the politest way possible.

“You don’t really have a choice” he walks straight past me and into my living room.

“Conor, get out!” I gasp, following him into the living room.

“I’m not leaving until we’re back together” he sits on the sofa.

“Well you’ll be waiting for a very long time” I shrug and start to walk upstairs to get ready for tonight.

He jumps up from his seat, “Where are you going?”

“To get ready for tonight. You should probably do the same”

“What the hell? They start at like, seven. Why do you need to get ready now?” he frowns.

“I don’t, I’m just trying to get away from you” I turn back to that stairs and before I can even put one foot on the first step, he grabs my arm and pulls me down, pushing me against the wall. I’m not scared, I expect him to act this way. I just really want him to leave, not because I don’t want us to get back together because I want nothing more than that, but because I’m really not in the mood for any of this right now. I feel so much weight on my shoulders since Eleanor’s left.

“Please don’t go” he tightens his grip around my arm whenever I move.

“Get off me and go home” I snap. He’s really hurting my arm and I hate this mood he’s in. Why should I have to deal with it?

“I’m not leaving you, not again” he shakes his head, releasing his hand from my arm. My heart starts beating faster at his perfect choice of words. I don’t know what to say so I do what I do best and walk away, back upstairs.

He pulls me back down and pins me up against the wall again, holding me by my shoulders this time.

“Do you believe me?” he asks, staring into my eyes. I look into his and see that they’ve gone much darker than they usually are.

“What?” I frown, remembering he asked me a question.

“Do you believe that I’m sorry about what I’ve done? And that I wouldn’t have gone far with her?” he asks, scrunching up his nose when he says ‘her’.

“Gone far with her?”

“You know...”

“Oh”

“Do you believe me?”

“Yeah” I mumble.

“Is that the truth?”

“Yes” I sigh. I do believe him, I’m just confused as to why he’s asking me this.

“Good” he takes a bit of pressure off my shoulders but still holds on.

“Now can I go?” I move slightly and the pressure comes back on. He leans into me and roughly kisses my lips. I push him away quickly in shock and he just stares into my eyes.

“Lucy please, I love you” he begs, kissing me again but I push him away. My mind has gone empty and the only thing I’m focussed on is every movement he’s making, and every word that’s coming out of his mouth.

“I-I can’t” I stutter.

“Yes you can!  I know you love me too, show me that you do” he cries. I see a tear roll down his cheek before he leans in and kisses me again. I need to respond to his kisses but there’s something holding me back.

“I can’t”

“Luce, I love you so fucking much. I promise I’ll try not to hurt you again” he kisses me. “And I’ll try to never upset you” he kisses me again. “I’ll try” he kisses me a final time before I push him away. This time, I don’t stare into his sapphire eyes, I look at the floor through the space between us while I catch my breath.

“I love you” I whisper.

“W-What?”

I look up into his eyes. “I love you s-“ he cuts me off by kissing me again except this time, it feels right to respond to his touch. This kiss was different to every other kiss we’ve had. In Portsmouth, they were just drunk kisses that didn’t mean too much. Before we broke up, our kisses meant something but didn’t have the same meaning as this one. This kiss feels like I’m forgiving him, and I’m not stopping it. It feels so... right?

I don’t care. We continue kissing while walking up the stairs and when I enter my room, I fall onto the bed with him, not losing any contact with his lips.

-

It gets to 6:40pm and Conor and I are still in my bed.

“It’s twenty too, we need to get ready now” I moan for like the 4th time tonight.

“No we don’t, two more minutes”

“You said that about half an hour ago” I smirk and he laughs. “Come on”

I roll out of bed when I find some pyjama bottoms to put on for the time being, and look at Conor. I stick my hand out in front of him and he rolls his eyes before taking hold of it and pulling himself up with it.

“Get ready” I demand.

“I already am” he crosses his arms. I go into my wardrobe and pull out the only clothes I have in there. Everything I have is in the wash from Portsmouth so I’ll have to change into the clothes I wore yesterday.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Yep”

“You were actually quick for once” he smiles while we walk out of the room and go downstairs. I put on my gilet and converse and look at my final image in my full length mirror at the bottom of the stairs. “You do realise it’s like seven”

“What!?”

“It’s seven” he confirms, looking at the clock. Shit. We run out of the house, locking the front door and I practically run the whole 5 minute walk to the firework display. I turn around and see Conor stumbling after me. “Jesus... Christ” he breathes. “If I knew you were going to run the whole way... I wouldn’t have told you... It was seven”

“I would’ve killed you if you didn’t” I half laugh and he just shrugs. I get out my phone and quickly dial Jack’s number. He answers on the second ring.

“Where are you?” he shouts.

“Where are you?”

“We’re like... I don’t know. Meet me at the food shack thing”

“Ok” I end the call and grab Conor’s hand, pulling him towards the ‘food shack thing’. I stop when we get there and look around for Jack.

“Lucy!” he shouts and I turn around to see him. I smile and walk over. “Hey”

“Hi” I breathe and he raises his eyebrow at me and Conor.

“Whatever, come on” he walks away from us and we follow behind. In no time, we meet up with the rest of the group just when the fireworks set off so I don’t actually have time to say hi to them. I’m kind of glad though, I can’t be bothered with all the looks about me and Conor and stuff.

I watch the enormous and loud fireworks blast in the dark sky, glancing at Conor every now and then. I told him before we came not to try to be ‘romantic’ in any way possible with me just because we’re looking at fireworks. He just started laughing because I thought he’d actually do that. Knowing him, he’d probably just do it anyway to wind me up.

The fireworks were great but not near as good as what I was expecting. Conor told me they’d be shit but I didn’t believe him. I mean, he said the Pier would be shit but he was wrong about that. He enjoyed it himself then, I can tell.

“Did you enjoy?” he says in a girly voice.

I laugh, “No, they were shit”

“Really?”

“Yep” I nod.

“Well at least we agree on something. We’re getting there Lucy” he jokes and I just laugh.

“So you’re back together then?” Leila asks. I look up and Conor and nod, and he just smiles.

“Finally” Lois cheers and I just laugh. Conor’s the reason we broke up so blame him. “Ben, hydrate me” she sighs. Ben turns around while Lois unzips his backpack and starts dealing out alcohol.

“Jesus Christ, how much have you got in there?” I gasp, looking inside the bag.

“That’s only half of it, Jack has the rest” he laughs.

“But we’re saving that for later” Lois adds. “Jack has the best stuff”

“Want one?” Ben hands me a bottle of Caribbean Twist.

“Thanks” I nod and take it from him.

“You having one?” he asks Conor. Conor nods and takes the can of Strongbow.

“You’re not drinking a lot” he tells me.

“Why?”

“Your Mum won’t like it. And it’s a school night”

“Since when did you care?” I laugh.

“Lucy, just don’t drink a lot ok?”

“I won’t if you don’t” I hold out my pinky. He rolls his eyes before linking his pinky with mine.

About 2 hours later, I finish my 4th cold drink of Caribbean Twist the night and look around for a place to put the empty bottle.

“Where do I put it?” I ask Conor, holding out the colourful bottle. He takes it off me and looks around before leaving it on a park table, shrugging.

We haven’t done anything all night except drink and talk, and watch a few fights every now and then between drunk teenagers. I keep thinking Conor will get into a fight but I think he’s past that stage now. He’s not been in a fight in ages.

I’m extremely cold, I can’t even feel my hands. I’m tired and I want to go home. I’m not that entertained right now.

“I think I’m gonna go” I tell Conor.

“Why?” he gasps.

“I’m bored” I shrug.

“Same to be honest” he laughs. “I’ll walk you”

“No it’s fi-“

“You don’t really have a choice. If you think I’m letting you walk home in the dark on your own, you’re mistaken”

“Whatever. Let me tell Jack I’m going” I turn around and walk over to Jack. “I’m going home now” I shout over the music.

“No don’t!” he gasps.

“I’m bored” I shrug.

“Aw” he pouts. “Well I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?” he slurs, wrapping his arms around my neck.

“Yeah!”

“Is Conor walking you?”

“Yep” I nod.

“Ok, see you later” he smiles.

“Bye” I wave and walk back over to Conor.

When I get to the front door, I turn around to give Conor a hug but he pushes me away.

“I need to say good night to you” he pouts.

“Say it then”

“You’re not going to sleep yet”

“Conor, you’re not coming in” I work out what he’s trying to say. He starts pouting and I roll my eyes. “You’ll have to climb through my window then” I sigh.

He smiles, “Ok”

When he walks away, I start to open the door with my key. I get inside and take off my coat and shoes before tip toeing upstairs, trying not to wake anyone. I get into my room and see Conor jumping into my bed.

“Beat you” he smiles proudly.

“I don’t think you did” I say, getting my pyjamas out of my wardrobe.

“How didn’t I?”

“Because I had to unlock the door, walk up the stairs, yano” I shrug, changing into my blue pyjama shorts.

“What a fucking excuse. Yano, I didn’t just climb a building or anything” he says sarcastically and I laugh.

“Shut up, you’re going to wake my parents” I laugh and he rolls his eyes.

“Just because I’m right” he puts the covers over his legs after taking off his shoes and coat.

“I don’t know why you’re getting comfy. You’re going as soon as I’m ready for bed”

“Which will take you about an hour, the speed you’re going” he snaps back.

“You’re on a roll today” I laugh.

“What?”

“You have a comeback for everything I say”

“I always do” he shrugs, getting out his phone. I roll my eyes before walking out of the room and into the bathroom. I have a wee, take off my make-up, brush my teeth and walk back into my room to see Conor looking at my picture wall.

“When did you do this?” he asks as soon as I walk in the room, still not taking his eyes off the wall.

“When we got them developed”

“It’s well good” he smiles. “That’s me” he points at one of the pictures.

“You don’t say” I say sarcastically.

He laughs, “I actually love it. I didn’t realise we took that many pictures”

“We took more. They’re just my favourites” I laugh.

“Jesus Christ”

“But these are my favourite favourites” I point to my nightstand at the framed picture of me and Jack, the picture of me and Mum, the picture of me, Jack and Conor being stupid in the phone box, and the picture of me kissing Conor’s cheek.

He walks over them and starts smiling at each one, but mainly the one of me and him and the one of us in the phone box.

He starts laughing “Oh my God, that’s well cute”

“Cute?” I scrunch up my nose.

“Yeah...”

“I didn’t think boys say ‘cute’” I use air quotes.

“What the fuck. That’s sexist” he teases.

“Oh well” I shrug. “You can go now” I nod to the window while climbing into bed.

“No, two minutes” he moans, getting into the other side of the bed and moving closer to me. I turn away from him to get into a comfier position and close my eyes.

“Whatever, just make sure you shut the window” I mumble, feeling myself drifting off. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or just me being really tired. I am a bit tipsy I guess but it is quarter to ten.

I feel Conor’s arm wrap around my waist and I hear a small moan escape from his mouth, responding to what I just said. Shortly after, I feel myself drift into a deep sleep thinking about London.

-

I’m so glad I’m not being woken up by the bright sun blazing through my windows now it’s autumn, my favourite season. It’s never too hot or too cold.

After school, I get ready to go to Conor’s house. We planned for me to go over there at half 3, so as soon as I get in, I change into some light washed skinny jeans and a cropped white top. I put my leather jacket on over it and put on my Vans before walking out of the door.

I don’t bother texting my Mum or anything telling her I’m going out because I’ll probably be back by the time she gets home from work.

-

I sit in Conor’s bed talking to him about nothing for at least an hour until I decide I need to move about.

“Can we put music on?” I ask him and he nods, handing me his phone. I climb out of bed and walk over to the small docking station in the room while he does something on the laptop. I plug in his phone and scroll through his selection of songs.

Drake

Justin Timberlake

Michael Jackson

Usher

Neyo, etc.

I decide to go with Drake and choose one of my favourite songs, ‘Make Me Proud’.

“I love this song” I mumble to myself.

“What?” he asks as the introduction starts.

“Nothing” I shake my head.

“You like this song?” he smirks and I shrug. He rolls of the bed and walks over to the docking station, turning up the volume to full blast, still smirking. I walk to the other side of the room, laughing while he stays in his position.

“I like a woman with a future and a past A little attitude problem all good it'll make the shit last Don't make it too easy girl, don't take it too fast Yeah, that's it, right there, that's it Do it just like that Only you could do it just like that” he starts to rap, dancing slightly to the moves. A smile takes over my whole face, just watching him rap while taking a few steps towards me.

“Only you could do it just like that And I love it when your hair's still wet Cause you just took a shower Running on a treadmill and only eating salad Sounds so smart, like you graduated college Like you went to yale, but you probably went to Howard Knowing you, weekend in miami, tryna study by the pool Couple things due, but you always get it done Might have been a time when I loved her too But you take that away, you always be the one One, I wonder why the moon looks nice girl Maybe it's just right for the night You said niggas coming on too strong girl They want you in their life as a wife That's why you wanna have no sex Why you wanna protest, why you wanna fight for your right Cause you don't love them boys Pussy run everything, fuck that noise” he stands about a meter away from me, still rapping. He sounds so good.

“I know things get hard But girl you got it, girl you got it there you go Can't you tell by how they looking at you everywhere you go Wondering what's on your mind, it must be hard to be that fine, When all these motherfuckas wanna waste your time It's just amazing, girl, and all I can say is” he comes right up close to me, puts his hands on my shoulders and looks into my eyes, still jokingly rapping but being seriously seductive.

“I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you Everything's adding up, you've been through hell and back That's why you're bad as fuck and you...” he finishes his role of being Drake.

“B-b-b-bet I am All of them bitches I'm better than Mansions in Malibu babblin But I never mention everything I dabble in And I always ride slow when I'm straddlin' And my shit's so wet you gotta paddle in Gotta ro-ro-row, gotta row ya boat It's Pink Friday records and OVO Done did the pop tour, I'm the realest deal, The best legal team so the deals is ill It's Mac, OPI and a fragrance too Apparel, I'm dominating every avenue Cobblestone, good view, lil gravel too Gotta pay for the entourage travel too Cause I'm fli-fli-fly, I'm flying high Ain't got time to talk, just Hi and bye bitch And baby if you ask me to take a break I'll give it all away, don't care what the people say I'll be a million, billion, trillion miles away He asked my sign, I said a Sagg' I'm a star, Sheriff badge, What's the point? If I'm guardin' Double D up hoes, Dolly Parton” I laugh, trying to rap but failing badly. He’s smiling and smirking at me the whole time, and whenever I paused or laughed, he’d give me a nod to carry on.

“I know things get hard But girl you got it, girl you got it there you go Can't you tell by how they're looking at you everywhere you go Wondering what's on your mind, it must be hard to be that fine, when all these muthafuckas wanna waste your time It's just amazing, girl, and all I can say is... I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you Everything's adding up, you've been through hell and back That's why you're bad as fuck and you know you are” he pushes me up against the wall, looking into my eyes and down to my lips. He stops singing and roughly kisses me against the wall, leaving Drake to finish the final chorus in the background.

I lead him over to the bed and fall on top of him, running my fingers through his soft hair. He lets out a moan when I do it so I guess he likes it. He starts kissing down my jaw line and my neck until we hear a high pitched scream followed by loud smashes.

We both pull away from the kiss. I sit up, still straddling Conor and he rests his body on his elbows.

“Anna?” Conor shouts.

“I’ve got it” Jack shouts back.

“Come on” Conor sighs and rolls his eyes. I climb off him and he holds my hand, leading me downstairs. We get into the kitchen and see Jack picking up pieces of glass on the floor from a wine bottle while Anna sits on the kitchen side. “Lucy, sit on there with Anna” he nods at the kitchen counter and I quickly jump onto it, smiling at Anna.

“You alright?” I ask her.

“I’m fine” she nods.

Conor sighs, “What happened?”

He starts helping Jack pick up the pieces of glass.

“I opened the cupboard to get some crisps and a load of wine bottles just fell out. I tried catching them Conor but-“

“It’s fine! Don’t worry about it” he assures her, smiling at her to make her feel better. “In a fucking food cupboard” he mumbles and Jack nods. I don’t know what they’re talking about but I can tell they’re both pissed off.

“What were you two up to anyway?” Jack raises his eyebrow, putting more glass into the bin.

“Just listening to music” I say as casually as possible, looking at Conor the whole time. Conor just grins at me before looking back at floor to find some more glass.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep” Conor nods, laughing slightly.

“You must think I’m stupid” Jack sighs. “I leave you alone in a bedroom while you listen to sexual songs, and Conor comes out with his hair like that”

I look at Conor’s messed up hair and smirk slightly. Conor runs his fingers through his hair, trying to sort it out.

“Yeah, I fell asleep didn’t I Luce?” Conor smirks at me.

“Yep” I nod, laughing afterwards.

“Luce?” Jack scrunches up his nose.

“Hey! Only Conor can call me that” I snap and Conor proudly nods at me.

“Whatever” Jack rolls his eyes and ties up the bin once all the glass is in.

“Get the mop” Conor demands and Jack reaches next to the huge American fridge freezer to get it. Conor starts mopping up the puddles of expensive wine while Anna and I talk quietly, having a little catch up since we last saw each other.