Chapter 51

I slowly open my eyes and try to remember where the fuck I am. Oh yeah, I’m in Portsmouth... In the same bed as Conor. I remember putting his arm around me before I went to sleep so to save myself from the embarrassment when he wakes up, I try to shuffle out of his grasp.

“Mmm” he moans. I ignore him and keep trying to move but he keeps tightening his grip. “Just stay here, five minutes” he mumbles. I lie down and get back into my position before falling back to sleep.

I wake up by the smashing plates in the kitchen. I sit up and rest my body on my elbows. I need to get out of bed now.

I get out of bed easily this time and sit in front of the wardrobe mirror to sort out my image before making an appearance to everyone. I put my hair in a high pony tail and wipe away the smudged eyeliner under my eyes before walking downstairs and towards the kitchen.

I see Jack, Alex and Ben kneeling on the floor, cleaning up loads of smashed bowls with a brush and shovel.

“What the fuck have you done!?” I gasp, walking in the kitchen.

“Oh my God don’t come in, you’ll cut yourself” Jack says, walking towards me. He picks me up by my waist and sits me on the kitchen island counter. “Alex was trying to get the biggest bowls at the back of the cupboard but ended up smashing everything in there instead”

“It wasn’t just my fault! Ben helped me” Alex gasps, sweeping up the glass. Ben stares at Alex with his mouth wide open but Alex just laughs.

“I’m surprised you’re even awake, you drank so much yesterday” I laugh at Alex.

“I know” he moans. “I feel dead”

“Your own fault” Jack shakes his head. “Are we doing anything today?”

“I want to go round Portsmouth again like what we did last year” Ben suggests, biting his nails.

Jack nods, “Same”

“Don’t tell Liv about the plates, she’ll kill me” Alex panics, putting the pieces of glass into a plastic bag, tying it when he’s finished.

“We won’t” I roll my eyes. She’ll find out anyway. The top cupboard’s empty... “Anyway, what was going on with you and Eleanor last night?” I smirk.

“What? Oh um, nothing much” Alex shrugs, looking away from me.

“What’s that smell?” I sniff the air. “Smells like bull shit”

“Fuck off” he moans and I start laughing.

“Explain to me why Conor came into my room at three in the fucking morning, telling me that he was room less because you and Eleanor were at it” I snap and his eyes go wide, as well as everyone else’s in the room.

“She came onto me” he puts his hands up in defeat.

“Of course she did”

He sighs, “I don’t know. I was drunk and it just happened I guess” he shrugs.

“You’re blaming it on alcohol?”

“No, I would’ve done it sober” he stutters making Ben’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. Jack just bursts out laughing and Alex moans, “Fuck off”

I laugh, “Aw I’m sorry, you’re easy to wind up. Where is she anyway?”

“Still in bed” he tells me before taking a sip of his hot drink. I nod. “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy sleeping with Conor” he winks.

“I didn’t” I lie.

“You keep telling yourself that” Jack adds.

“Who asked you to talk!?” I gasp and he just laughs.

-

We all agree on going into town to shop and ‘explore’ as Mike says. That makes me feel like a tourist. We hold up the bus when we get on it because there are so many of us but we manage.

I now know how hard it is to stay in a group of 11 people around town. It’s literally impossible.

“Right why don’t we go in groups?” I stop walking and everyone turns to look at me.

“Ok” Lois nods and confirms it with everyone.

“El, I’m with you” I nod at her. She looks back and forth between me and Alex before walking towards me. Did she actually have a problem with choosing between her best friend and a boy?

Jack, Ben and Mike team up. Lois, Liv, Olivia and Leila team up, and Conor and Alex do.

“There’s only two of us. We’ll go with you two” Alex nods at me and El.

No.

“Um we’re oka-“

“Yeah sure!” Eleanor interrupts me and walks over to him. I give her a death glare but she’s too busy staring at Alex to even recognise me looking. I look at Conor and he shakes his head at me before looking away. I feel bad now.

“Right, we’ll meet you here in 2 hours?” Olivia asks and we all agree before walking our separate ways.

“Where are we going first?” I ask the group. El and Alex just shrug and Conor’s not even looking at me. “So we’re just going to stay here?”

They ignore me again. Eleanor and Alex are just being rude now. I expect this of Conor but not them.

“Forget it, I’ll go with Olivia’s group” I sigh and walk away.

“Lucy” El sighs.

“No, none of you are talking to me so why should I bother?” I continue walking away and eventually catch up with Liv’s group. “Can I stay with you?”

“Yeah sure, why?” Liv smiles.

“None of them are talking to me” I shrug and she just shrugs.

-

After our 2 hour shop my hands are full of at least 6 bags. Not near as much as I got in London... We stand in the same place as we left each other in and wait for the rest of the group.

When they all turn up, we order a drink from Starbucks and take it out to walk around Portsmouth with it. I’m with Ben the whole time and he keeps making me laugh.

“Um, when’s your birthday?” he asks me half way through our game of 20 questions.

“Nineteenth of August” I tell him.

“Ten days before mine” he laughs and I gasp.

“That’s weird” I laugh. “Anyway, um. Do you have any talents?”

“Nope” he shakes his head.

“Don’t be silly. Everyone’s good at something”

“Well, I can play a bit of guitar” he shrugs.

“Really!?” I gasp. “Are you good?”

“Yeah, I guess. I brought it here”

“Oh my god, you should show me”

“No way!” he shakes his head.

“Why not?”

“I don’t do that”

“Whatever” I roll my eyes. “Your go”

“Um, do you have any pets?”

“I used to have a hamster but my Dad sat on him” I roll my eyes and he starts laughing hysterically.

“Why wasn’t it in the cage!?”

“I let it out for a run but I lost it” I shrug and he laughs again. I think of another question to ask him while he calms down. “How far have you been with a girl?”

He shrugs, “I’ve done everything”

“Everything?”

“Everything” he laughs. "Except up the bum. I don't do that"

"Ben, that's gross" I cringe and he starts laughing.

“Favourite food?”

“I like Skittles” I shrug. “And grapes, ice cream and jelly”

“That’s not food!”

“Yes it is!”

“It’s not a meal though”

“Well you didn’t ask what my favourite meal was”

“Well what’s your favourite meal?” he emphasizes ‘meal’.

“Um, probably spaghetti”

The game continues for ages on our travel around Portsmouth and we eventually get back to the cabin at 4 o’clock.

“Are we going to Nando’s then?” Liv asks us all and everyone seems pretty keen to be going. I get in the shower after Eleanor before anyone else can take it. There’s only 3 in the house so we all have to do a little rotor. After my shower, I do all my make-up, straighten my hair and leave it down, and put on my tight, long sleeved, short black dress.

When I’m ready, I walk into the living room and see Jack, Ben, Mike, Lois and Olivia sat there talking while on their phones. I join them on the sofa and wait for everyone else to come in.

“One second” I tell them mid-conversation and run upstairs to my room to charge my phone. I turn the whole room upside down to find my charger but I can’t. Where the hell is it? El walks into the room with a towel wrapped around her body and hair. “El, do you know where my charger is?”

“No, I’ve not seen it” she shrugs and shakes her head. I walk back downstairs to ask if I can borrow someone’s.

“Can I borrow someone’s charger? I can’t find mine” I ask.

“Oh, I used yours earlier. It’s in my room” Jack tells me.

“Fuck sake Jack, I’ve just turned my whole room upside down trying to find it” I sigh and run back upstairs into Jack’s room and hear the en suit shower running. I scan the room to find my charger and eventually find the sparkly pink thing plugged into the wall. I decorated it when we all slept at Lois’s one time. Lois has a purple one, Olivia has a blue one, Leila has an orange one and Char has a red one.

I unplug it and start to walk out of the room when I hear singing in the shower. I’d usually walk away but this voice is really good. I walk back into the room and shuffle towards the bathroom door, pressing my ear against it.

It’s Conor.

“And baby, everything that I have is yours, You will never go cold or hungry. I'll be there when you're insecure, Let you know that you're always lovely. Girl, 'cause you are the only thing that I got right now”

He stops singing when he finishes the chorus and it takes me a while to process what I’ve just heard. It was absolutely beautiful. Why hasn’t he told me about this? Has he told anyone? I can’t believe I’ve known this boy for about 2 months and I didn’t know he could sing.

I quickly run out of the room when I hear him walking across the bathroom floor, and I take my charger downstairs. I plug it into the wall and sit back down on the sofa. Alex and Leila have now joined the people I left on the sofa’s.

About an hour later, we finally get to Nando’s and sit at the back where the biggest table is. There’s 5 of us at each side of the table and Olivia sits at the end of it.

Basically, the whole night is chaos. It takes us about an hour to get our food so Conor and Alex have a massive argument with the waiter. We’re lucky we didn’t get kicked out. It finally came and we actually got one free drink with it, which no one drank because it was apple juice... Yeah, pretty shit thing to get after waiting an hour for our meal.

We leave the restaurant when we’re stuffed and drop by at the shop before we leave.

“Me and Alex will get the drinks. You lot get food and shit” Conor tells us and we nod before walking inside. We get a trolley and Ben puts about 5 packets of marshmallows in.

“Jesus Christ. Do you want any more marshmallows?” I ask sarcastically and he laughs.

“They’re nice” he pouts. Everyone else starts adding chocolate, sweets, energy drinks, etc, and we end up paying £30 on everything we bought, not including alcohol.

We meet Conor and Alex outside the shop and make our way home. The boys take turns carrying the boxes of alcohol and me and the girls just hold one bag full of sweets each.

When we get home, everyone changes into their pyjamas because it’s freezing and we all meet in the back garden. Alex and Ben go in the back garden to do something while everyone else helps cook s’mores.

“Everyone, come out here” Alex calls everyone out. We all walk into the back garden and see Ben throwing pieces of wood into a massive fire that’s been set up. Oh my god, it looks amazing.

“Wooooooow” Olivia gasps and walks out. We all follow her and sit around it. Lois runs back inside and brings out all the food with help from Conor. I’m so cold. I run back inside and bring out my duvet.

I sit in between Conor and El. I don’t think I’ve spoke to him since we was at the shopping centre and I do feel bad. He was being nice to me but I gave him a dirty look when I got put into his group.

We’ve all had at least 2 cans of beer now and I do feel lightheaded. I hate being a light weight.

“We need to be traditional and sing songs now” Leila gasps.

“I’m not singing” about 5 people say at the same time.

“Conor should sing” I say. His eyes grow the size of golf balls and he just stares at me. “Come on, you’re really good”

“No way” he shakes his head and takes a sip of his beer.

“Please, you’re amazing”

“I never knew you could sing Conor” Lois raises her eyebrow.

“I can’t”

“Yes you can. Sing what you were singing earlier” I tell him.

“No!”

“Come on Con” Alex nods.

Conor sighs, “What shall I sing?”

“Next to you” I smile. He just looks at me for a bit then back at everyone else, then back to me, so I nod at him and he takes a deep breath.

“You've got that smile, That only heaven can make. I pray to God every day, That you keep that smile. Yeah, you are my dream, There's not a thing I won't do. I'd give my life up for you, 'Cause you are my dream. And baby, everything that I have is yours, You will never go cold or hungry. I'll be there when you're insecure, Let you know that you're always lovely. Girl, 'cause you are the only thing that I got right now. One day when the sky is falling, I'll be standing right next to you, Right next to you. Nothing will ever come between us, 'Cause I'll be standing right next to you, Right next to you”

He didn’t take his eyes off me the whole time, only closing them every now and then in the middle of the song. I smile at him when he finishes and he gives me a weak smile before looking at the floor. Everyone sits still with their jaws on the floor.

“Conor that was so fucking good” Leila gasps.

“It was amazing!” Olivia squeals. The compliments keep rolling in and he just laughs and thanks them all. Even Jack was speechless at Conor’s performance.

“It was perfect” I smile at him and he rolls his eyes.

“I hate you for this” he sighs.

“No you don’t” I laugh and he just smiles at me.

The night continues around the campfire and Ben even gets his guitar out and plays a little bit of that. He’s really good. Him and Conor should collaborate or at least make something out of themselves. Eleanor happens to move to the other side of the campfire and completely ditches me to sit next to Alex. All the food has gone but there’s still a little bit of alcohol left.

Conor starts to shiver a little bit, making me feel bad about having the duvet all to myself so I unwrap half of the duvet off me and open it up for him. He looks at the duvet then back up at me and I nod. He scoots over to me and puts the duvet around his shoulder. I rest my back on the small hill in the garden but Conor pulls me over to him, resting my head on his chest. I refuse to move. He has his hand around my waist and that small touch heats up my whole body.

At about 2am, Lois, Leila, Ben, Char and Mike have gone up to bed, leaving me, El, Alex, Conor, Jack and Olivia around the fire.

“I’m tired” I tell Conor after we finish our discussion about what films we think are good.

“Do you wanna go up?” he asks and I nod. I stand up and give everyone a hug before making my way upstairs to my room, Conor following behind. “Wait, come here” he grabs hold of my hand and leads me into his room. I can’t see straight.

He unlocks a door in his room and opens it to reveal a balcony with 2 chairs on it and a few fairy lights hanging off the rail.

“It’s so nice” I gasp.

“Thought you’d like it. Liv did it” he rolls his eyes and I just smile. “I also got you something”

“What?”

“One second” he runs back into his room and comes back out with a bottle of Vodka and a 2 litre bottle of Coke.

“Oh my god, when did you get this?” I gasp.

“I bought it before we came” he shrugs. I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a hug.

“Thank you” I smile when we pull away. “Shall we have it now?”

“But it’s yours”

“But I want to share it with you” I mimic his voice and he laughs. We sit down on the balcony and start drinking the alcohol with the cups in Conor and Alex’s room. “I’m sorry about earlier” I apologise for giving him a dirty look.

“It’s fine” he shrugs, taking a sip of his drink. “I’m sorry for being a constant asshole”

“It’s fine” I laugh.

“No, I’m sorry for everything Luce. For cheating on you, treating you like shit and just being a shit boyfriend. I’m sorry I’m a dick”

“It’s fi-“

“Please forgive me” he looks me in the eyes.

“You’re just saying all this because you’re drunk” I sigh.

“You think I don’t want you back when I’m sober?” he asks but I ignore his question. “Lucy, I fucking cry every day I’m not with you. It’s been such a shit week without you and whenever I see you smiling or anything, I feel even worse because I know it’s not me who’s making you smile. I love you so fucking much, I don’t know why you can’t see that, and know that I’ll never make any of the same mistakes again” he breathes. I stay quiet for a bit and try to process what he’s just said.

I close my eyes and lean into him. I don’t care anymore, I forgive him and I don’t see why I’m waiting. I love him so much. Why shouldn’t I kiss him now? Our lips brush together as he takes hold of the back of my neck and pulls me in further.

As we get deeper into the kiss, our bodies start to connect more and more. I stand up, still attached to his lips but he pulls away and gives me a strange look. I take hold of his hand and pull him towards my room. I lock the door and turn to him before continuing from where we left off.