CHAPTER 29

It took a few minutes for Lucifer to get his emotions under control. When he did, he pulled away from his father. "Why should I believe you?" he asked. Truthfully, it was a stupid question because deep down he did believe him, but he didn't know how to deal with it. His father's explanation that he sent him to Hell to put him on the road to happiness destroyed everything he'd known about himself and his father.

"Sit down, son," God said before gently guiding his son back to his seat. "You do believe me. You're just overwhelmed. I understand. I've just put a lot on you."

Lucifer watched as his father went back and sat down. "You… You're telling me everything I thought I knew about my life isn't true. You didn't send me to Hell because you hated me."

"Of course not. There has never been a day in your life that I hated you. I love you so much. That is why I have done everything I have. I wanted you to have what you deserve," God said.

"So, you orchestrated it all? Everything in my life has been your doing?" Lucifer asked with anguish and bitterness in his voice. It devastated him in ways he couldn't even describe. He loved his family and wouldn't wish them away, but knowing why he had them broke him. It meant he never truly had gained Free Will at all. Everything that happened was created by his father.

God sighed. He could understand how his son had come to that conclusion, and why it upset him so much. Free Will had always been a big desire for him. "No, Lucifer. I saw your path and I let it play out, but I didn't choose for you. Now, I do admit that my own choices were made to put you on the path you are on now, which is towards your happiness, but you always decided for yourself. Honestly, in the beginning, I hoped you'd choose differently, so that I wouldn't have to make the decision to send you away and cause you pain. I knew it was ultimately best for you, but I hated the thought of it."

"You could've chosen differently if you wanted. You didn't have to send me to Hell. You had a choice," Lucifer stated angrily. He wasn't saying he wished his father chose differently. He didn't wish for a life that didn't include Chloe, Trixie, and Lucas, but the point was that his father had a choice. Lucifer didn't.

"And if I had, I truly would've manipulated your life for my own needs, as you've always accused me. Believe me, I was tempted, but I had to do what was best for you, not me. I always knew how it would end, even when I was fighting it. That's why I kept you so close. Your siblings thought it was because I loved you more than them, but it was because I knew I was going to have to let you go. Despite the pain you've suffered, I don't regret it. I don't think you really do either," God said.

Lucifer couldn't really argue that. He was upset because he felt like his whole life was a manipulation, but at the same time, he wasn't sorry for the results of those manipulations. "I…I just feel like my entire life has never been in my own hands."

"I know. I hope you can see one day that that's not the case, and if you can't, you can at least see that any choices that were made for you were for your benefit," God said.

"What about Kinley? Was he part of this path you saw for me?" Lucifer asked.

"No. I saw most of it, but not all of it. Kinley was a factor I didn't foresee, as was Cain. It was when Cain became involved that I began paying closer attention. Before then, I chose to try to steer clear of you, to resist the urge to interfere. I almost had to with Cain, but you were able to handle it without me," God said.

"By killing him. Does that not upset you? I broke your biggest rule. I killed a human," Lucifer said.

God shook his head. "Cain should've been dead long before you took his life. It was a mistake to make him immortal. I was angry that a human had killed another for the first time, and even more angry that it was his own blood he killed. I let my anger get the best of me. If you had not taken his life, I would've."

"Like with Kinley," Lucifer said.

"Yes. I'd hoped that the problem would be resolved, as it was with Cain, but the more he came after you and my grandson, the angrier I got. I was not going to allow him to continue to be a threat to you," God said.

"One more question, Father. Was Uriel part of your plan for me? Was I supposed to kill him?" Lucifer asked. He prayed the answer was no. He would never forgive his father if he was set up to kill his own brother. There had to be a way of getting him where he was without sacrificing Uriel.

God closed his eyes sadly. The grief he felt regarding Uriel's loss was still very raw, and always would be. "Nothing can describe how much I hate that I couldn't stop that. I was so angry with myself for not being able to see that. I've come to realize that I never would've seen it. I would've seen Cain and Kinley first. That is because your mother has always been a variable that is beyond my omniscience. I could no more see Uriel's involvement in trying to stop her than I could her attempts to destroy humanity."

Lucifer nodded that he believed him before looking down. His guilt for killing Uriel had never, nor would ever, go away.

"Lucifer, understand that I've never blamed you for Uriel's death. You were put in a terrible position. You did the only thing you felt you could in order to stop Uriel. I wish I could've stopped him myself before it got to that point," God said sadly. If he blamed anyone, it was himself for not realizing what Uriel intended to do and not stopping him before he could.

Lucifer didn't know what to say to that, because he very much still blamed himself for Uriel's death. But he preferred not to discuss it any further, so he changed the subject. "So, what now? You saved my son. There must be something you want for that."

"First of all, I didn't save your son. He would've survived either way. I merely sped the process up. Second, I didn't do it for some quid pro quo. I did it because you are my son and he is my grandson. I love both of you very much," God told him.

"You must want something for it," Lucifer said.

"I want many things, but not in response to helping your son. I would like for you to allow me in your life and your family's. I would like you to return home one day. But I don't want you to do either of those things because you feel you owe me. I want you to want both of those things as well," God explained.

"You want me to return to the Silver City?" Lucifer asked in disbelief. He supposed he shouldn't be too surprised since his father had just told him that sending him to Hell wasn't a punishment, but that information still hadn't fully set in yet. All he could think about was how his father had banished him and now wanted him to come back. Just days ago, he feared his father might send him back to Hell as payment for saving Lucas, but that seemed to be the last thing his father wanted.

"Yes, when and if you wish to. I have always hoped you'd come back one day," God said.

Lucifer didn't have a chance to respond. At that moment, he watched Chloe walk back in with Lucas in her arms.

"Is everything okay? Do you need more time?" Chloe asked.

"No, I think we've said all we need for now," God said before standing up.

Lucifer stood up and walked over to Chloe. He held his arms out. "Can I have him for a minute?"

Chloe nodded before handing their son over to him.

Lucifer looked down at his son and smiled. In that moment, he couldn't find it in him to regret anything his father had done. He might not like the implications of it all, but he had a son because of it, as well as a woman he loved, and another child he didn't look at any different than his own. How could he ever hate anyone that gave him that?

God approached them and smiled at Chloe. "Hello, Chloe. I think it's time that we properly met, and that I welcome you into my family."

Chloe watched in awe as God extended his hand to her. After a moment, she took it. "Uh… hi." She knew she sounded really stupid, but she couldn't think of anything else she could say.

"I have wished to meet you for a long time. I knew you'd be good for my son. You exceeded those expectations," God said as he held her hand in both of his.

Chloe couldn't help but feel that she'd done little to deserve such praises after what she nearly did with Kinley.

"Oh, please don't judge yourself too harshly for that. I apologize for invading your thoughts, but I hate to see you punish yourself for something that didn't happen. You made a mistake, my dear. It is a mistake you've tried to correct ever since. You were honest about it and you have made amends. I beg you to forgive yourself, and to know I carry no ill will for you. Neither does, Lucifer," God told her.

Lucifer could only guess that it was listening to Kinley in Rome that his father was discussing with Chloe, so he nodded his head in agreement with his father.

"Th…Thank you," Chloe stuttered.

God finally released her hand. "Well, I should go. I do hope we see each other soon. He then turned to his son and hugged him briefly. "I love you, son. I hope you will give what I've said some thought."

Lucifer could only nod and watch as his father disappeared.

"Are you okay?" Chloe asked Lucifer. She'd noticed that his entire demeanor had changed since she left the room with Lucas. He wasn't afraid or angry anymore. He looked upset and overwhelmed, but also like something had been lifted off of him.

"I…I think so. I…I don't really know how to respond. The things he told me…. It changes everything about my life," Lucifer said as his voice broke. He'd come to the conclusion that he wasn't sorry for what his father did, but it didn't mean that learning his life wasn't what he thought it was didn't completely overwhelm him.

"What is it? What did your dad say?" Chloe asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it now. I just want to be with you and our son," Lucifer said.

Chloe nodded. She put her head on Lucifer's shoulder and watched her son sleep in his arms.