Chapter 42

Their lips disconnected after a few moments.

Beatrix had her eyes closed. Klaus's palm came to her neck, and he sighed quietly, resting his forehead against hers.

"I'm not ready for anything more than this," she whispered. "I... I won't lie. I do want to, but it's... it feels wrong. I feel like I'm betraying Kai by moving on so fast. I still haven't forgotten the pain of losing him. I still haven't come to terms with the fact that I can't bring him back."

Klaus pulled away. "You and Davina seek to bring back Kol," he said quietly. "Why not him? The last thing I want is to stop you from being with the man you desire. It may hurt me but I will not ruin you. I won't let myself."

"It-It's not possible. Kol died as a witch and he is in the Ancestral plane— he can be resurrected. Kai can't. And I don't think he should be. I just need time to feel better about everything, Klaus. When I'm ready, I will tell you. And if you're still interested, then I will come to you."

He offered her a small smile. "Take your time, love," he whispered.

At the funeral later, they did not discuss their exchange. Klaus and Beatrix stood near the back, behind the pack of Crescent wolves. Near the front, Hayley, dressed in black, was writing Jackson's name in the Labonair Bible. She stood and went toward the lake, where Jackson's body had been retrieved and wrapped in white sheets, resting on a wooden boat.

Hayley began to sob as she looked over the body, and out of instinct, Beatrix reached for Klaus's hand, squeezing it. He said nothing, but let his thumb graze over the back of her hand in a comforting gesture. Taking a bottle of whiskey, Hayley drank from it before pouring it over the body once she had finished whispering her goodbyes. She took a torch from Elijah, who had taken it from one of the wolves, and the body was set ablaze.

"Til death do us part," Beatrix heard Hayley whisper as the body was released down into the waters of the bayou.

Beatrix let go of Klaus's hand. "You should go check on Cami," she whispered. "She'll need you. I'm going to go pack a night bag... I think Hayley might need some company at her apartment tonight."

"Of course," he whispered. He sped away, and Beatrix moved forward as the Crescent wolves began to disperse. She came to Hayley and put her hand on her shoulder, rubbing her back gently. Hayley began to cry once more, and pulled Beatrix into a hug.

When she was ready to return to her apartment, Beatrix accompanied her. Wordlessly, she helped change Hope's diaper and got her ready for bed, allowing Hayley to go curl up on her bed. The Heretic went to peer out the window toward the Mikaelson Compound, listening to a distant conversation between Klaus and Elijah: Cami had transitioned, and Klaus had given her a daylight ring to use in the morning.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep," said Hayley's voice behind her. She turned, and saw that Hayley had wrapped her blanket around herself. She came to sit in front of the balcony, holding up a bottle of bourbon. "Drink with me?"

Beatrix offered her a smile. "Sure. I'll go get us a couple of glasses."

She returned with two, and Hayley poured them both a serving. They clinked their glasses together and drank.

The first few hours into the night, they did not speak. They took careful sips from the bourbon, listening to the sounds of the city. Hayley had her eyes closed as though deep in thought, and Beatrix did not think to disturb her. She entertained herself waving her hand over the bottle of bourbon, making shapes and little people out of the liquid, having them move around and do cartwheels inside the bottle.

"No wonder you turned your humanity off," whispered Hayley at around two in the morning. "This... is terrible."

"Don't think about that," said Beatrix sternly. "It's not the way to go. You have your little girl to think of."

Hayley pursed her lips. "Can you at least... tell me what it's like?"

The Heretic hesitated before beginning to speak. "At first, it feels amazing. You feel free and you don't feel strong emotions. Everything can be entertaining. But there is also a lingering tug of darkness. Any vampire with their humanity off knows that what they're doing is wrong. A lot of them choose to never listen to it, and eventually, they no longer pay attention to it. It's like... this inherent little mechanism that reminds you that your humanity is off. A lot of vampires turn it off for only brief periods of time, mediated. That tug lets them check in on themselves. For some, it can be very therapeutic."

"However," she continued, emphasizing this, "for us, it doesn't work like that. We're hybrid creatures that are more unnatural and dark than most. We have more power. And thus, without our humanity, we are much more dangerous. I did some horrible things when mine was off. Sick, disgusting, horrible things. I killed my half-sister, you know?"

Hayley shook her head. "I-I didn't know that. Elijah told me... about the bodies. The murders. But not that."

Beatrix sighed. "I was so consumed with the idea of not feeling that even when the tug told me to hold back, I didn't. I murdered my sister in cold blood and now, I will never know her. She will only ever be a memory. It took a very specific effort from Klaus and Freya to get me to turn it back on. The pain afterward is the worst. It's ten times worse than the pain you felt initially— the pain that made you want to turn it off. Because guilt becomes a plague— you recall all the things you did when it was off and you see yourself in the mirror and it's a cruel sight. You hate yourself. So... don't think of it. Don't you dare turn it off."

"I won't," she promised. "Thank you... for that." She let out a soft sigh of her own. "How did you recover from it?"

"I haven't yet. It takes a lot of time. I knew Kai for almost two decades, and though I didn't love him the entire time, it's not the kind of thing that just fades away. As much as I hate to think it, I have to constantly remind myself that what we did that day— trying to kill the twins, killing Jo, killing the Gemini Coven— that was really wrong. It didn't matter what pain they caused us. It was not the right thing to do. Kai..."

She paused for a bit to gather her thoughts before continuing. "Kai was a sociopath. And even though he loved me, we were a volatile combination. We brought out the darkness in each other. Our relationship wasn't pure, and I can't fool myself into thinking it was. Yes, deep down, I believe he was good, and he showed me that numerous times, but overall, he... he did some very terrible things that he didn't deserve redemption for. His presence and influence got me to do things that I knew were bad, and yet, I went along with it. So... even though it hurts, I know that I can't spend my time wallowing in it. I haven't admitted that to anyone else yet because I feel evil thinking it. I feel downright evil thinking that Kai doesn't deserve to be alive anymore. But it's the truth. I don't deserve to be alive either. I know that."

Hayley shook her head. "Don't say that, Beatrix," she said. "Jackson... he always told me how much he admired you. You were put through hell and your priority was my daughter. You may have done some bad things, but at the end of the day, you will die to protect Hope and this family. Kai wasn't like that. He egged you to help murder innocent people. He didn't try to change and be good. He wasn't going to be able to change. You raised Marcel, you helped raise Hope, you have done so much good for many people. I think you're a much better person than you realize. Jack knew that. He reminded me of that everyday when I thought I hated you. He's the one that got me to apologize. He forced me to set aside my selfishness and realize that I shouldn't have been treating you the way I was."

"Jackson... was such a good man," Hayley whispered. "And I know he will always be with me. I just... I don't know how I can live in this world without him."

"It will hurt so badly to come to terms with this," Beatrix murmured. "He deserved so much better than what he got. But he will have peace. He will watch over you and he will... he will get to see Ollie and Aiden again... I know that. He won't be alone. He died a good man, and no one will ever forget him. I'm so sorry we couldn't save him."

Hayley crawled over to her and pulled her into another hug, beginning to cry once again.

At around sunrise, Hope began to cry. Beatrix patted Hayley's shoulder and went to attend to her. When she came back with the little girl in tow, smiley and ready to start her day, the two women glanced toward the compound and saw Cami making her way out of the entrance below.

"She's going to struggle as a vampire, isn't she?" whispered Hayley as she took Hope in her arms. "She's... she's not going to actually like this."

Beatrix shook her head. "She won't struggle, not if we help her..."

When daylight came, they went over to the Mikaelson Compound, finding that Klaus and Elijah were discussing Cami, having realized she was gone.

"She left around sunrise," Hayley announced as they came in. "My guess is she needed some air?" Seeing the saddened looks the two Mikaelsons gave her, she added, "I couldn't sleep. Beatrix and I saw her leaving from my balcony."

She paused and fidgeted a bit. "I was wondering, if maybe it was okay... if Hope and I stay here a few days?"

"Of course you may," Elijah whispered. "Beatrix, may I have a word?"

"Sure," she said, following him out of the room.

"How is she?" he whispered.

"Not good," she said. "We had a talk. It's gonna take some time. Jackson was someone very near and dear to her heart."

Elijah sighed and leaned against the wall, and Beatrix put her hand on his shoulder. "You know it's okay to love her, right?" she murmured. "You don't need to stop loving her on my accord."

The Original was conflicted. "Itza—"

"Shh," she said, putting her finger over his lips. "Let me go on. I... I wished things would go back to the way they were. But it's complicated. And after all this time, I respect it. I know you chose me, in the end, but I don't think the timing is right. I want to believe you and I are meant to be but if that doesn't happen, then I just want both of us to be happy. That's what we both deserve. If we can only be friends, that will be fine with me. I believe we are soulmates. The timing hasn't been right, and it's okay for you to love her. She will need you, and I know she still cares deeply for you. Don't push her away for my sake. If she makes you happy, you should be with her."

He looked down at her sadly. "All I do is hurt you. All I do is continue making things complicated..."

"Elijah, I want you and Hayley to be together," Beatrix insisted. "I see how you look at each other. You two work together. I like seeing you together. I'm not yet over Kai and either way... well... last night, Klaus kissed me."

Elijah looked away. "He told me," he murmured. "I want my brother to be happy. And if it is with you, then so be it. We both want what's best for you. We will not fight for women as we did in the past— that only brings sorrow. Niklaus needs you. He needs your influence to be a better man. You two together were a very good combination. You and I, even if we are soulmates, do not mesh together as perfectly as we should."

"And in that sense, we are soulmates platonically, not romantically," said Beatrix. "I truly believe that even if we aren't in love, we share a connection deeper than anyone else. Soulmates can be friends, too. I care for your brother, Elijah. I'm just not ready to be with him, or with anyone else."

He moved forward and took her face in his hands. "When you are ready, you should be with him. He will not push you aside. He loves you, Itza. I know it. You two will be healthy for each other. You deserve to be happy."

She placed her hands on top of his. "So do you. Be with Hayley. Don't think of me. Devote yourself to her. I will be okay." She tiptoed and kissed his cheek. "If the timing is ever right for us again, we will know. For now, let's not force it. We'll be okay no matter what."

She pulled away as her phone chimed. Looking over the screen, she cleared her throat. "Davina needs my help with something. Let me know if anything major happens, alright?"

"Of course," said Elijah, though he caught her arm just before she left. "I love you, Beatrix."

"And I love you, Elijah," she breathed. "Even if we're not together, that love runs deeper than attraction. I firmly believe we're soulmates. I love you as a friend. As family. And maybe, one day, as a partner."

She sped away before he could answer, and arrived at St. Anne's Church, finding Davina and Josh in the attic.

"Hey," said Beatrix. "What's going on?"

"Davina's considering joining the Strix Coven," Josh answered. "Tell her she's crazy."

The Heretic glared at the younger witch. "Is this true? Have— have you learned nothing from what I've told you about them? They're dangerous! Twice they've tormented me to try and make me join that Coven. They killed Jackson!"

"I wouldn't be joining unless it was important," Davina promised. She handed her a piece of paper. "Aya gave me that. A Resurrection Spell to bring Kol back. If I join, I can have the power to bring him back. I just want him to check it over, first, so I'm planning to go into the Ancestral plane to see him. If it's legit, then I can join, and I... I can be an asset to the Mikaelsons, or something! Marcel won't let them hurt me, I know that."

Beatrix pursed her lips. "If you're going in to talk to him, I'm going with you. Kol taught me the darkest forms of magic that I know, including things having to do with the Strix Coven. Maybe together, we can convince you not to go through with this."

"Fine," said Davina, turning to Josh to explain to him. "It's just a simple suspension spell. The poison stops my heart and the spell keeps me from dying for good." She handed some of the poison to Beatrix, who held the flask in her hand.

"Cool," said Josh sarcastically. "Yeah, now I'm totally on board. Uh, just except for the part about the poison, your heart, and whatever you said at the end there about dying. You two are like, the most powerful witches I know, and now, I have to keep you both from dying? How is that going to work?"

"Well, we'll pop over and back, channeling your power," said Davina.

Josh shook his head. "No— no— that's not a good idea. You want to go into spooky witch purgatory to find your dead boyfriend amidst the dead spirits that shunned you, and now you both will be poisoned with me as your source? What could possibly go wrong?"

Davina suddenly stumbled. "Oh, for fuck's sake," said Beatrix, taking a swig of the poison. "You already took it, didn't you?"

The younger witch cast her a sheepish grin.

"Huh," said Josh, rubbing his forehead. "Okay. For the record, if you looked up "uncool" in the dictionary, there would just be a tiny drawing of what's happening right now. But fine. What do I need to do?"

"I got this," said Beatrix as Davina laid down on the nearby chair. She sliced open Josh's palms with magic, then her own and Davina's. She laid down beside her. "Hold our hands, and whatever happens, don't let go. You're going to be our link to the living."

Josh gulped and nodded as the two witches closed their eyes.

When they opened them again, the entire room had taken on a grayish tint. "Quickly," said Beatrix, getting up and pulling Davina out of the attic. "We have to find him fast. Let's hope he's in the area. You remember what he looks like, right?"

"Yes," said Davina, sounding nervous. "You gave me that picture of him."

"Good," she said, speeding them out to the street. The normally crowded French Quarter roads were abandoned, and there was a very eerie feeling that chilled both witches as they walked hurriedly.

Suddenly, someone yanked them into an alleyway, and Beatrix aimed a punch.

"Ow!" hissed Kol. "Bloody hell, Trix, I never should have taught you to fight!"

"Kol?" said Davina, as Beatrix stepped back. The younger witch was looking up at him in awe. The first time she ever saw him with his real face.

"Come on," he said, smiling widely. "You don't recognize this roguish grin? I guess my true face is just too handsome."

Davina blushed, and Beatrix nudged him. "You're just as arrogant as I remember you," she said, smirking as she pulled him into a hug. When they pulled away, he moved to engulf Davina in his arms.

"You two are a sight for bleary and battered eyes," he sighed. "But you're both also stark raving mad. Do you have any idea what would happen if the Ancestors found you here?"

They didn't get a chance to answer. The streetlights began to flicker and buzz. "Come on," he said, taking Davina's hand. "We can't stay here."

They walked as fast as they could toward Rousseau's. Beatrix felt nervous realizing that neither she nor Kol could move as fast as they would be able to in the real world. The Heretic didn't dare to try and use magic. It might not work.

Beatrix chose to give the two some privacy, pretending to look around the bar when they entered the building. She heard them kiss at one point, and when she peeked back, they were dancing, with no music playing.

It made her happy to see this. She'd never actually seen Kol be with someone he truly liked. Most women he'd fancied were really just sex buddies. This seemed genuine. Beatrix could remember how much trouble the two had gotten into in the past— troublemakers as if they were twins. Yet, he seemed different now.

Davina had noticed this as well. "What's that?" she said, pointing toward a light bruise that had become apparent with the light inside the pub.

"It's nothing, really," he said quickly as Beatrix walked back to them. "You shouldn't have come here. There's a darkness to this place."

"I had to find you, Kol," insisted Davina. "I think I found a way to bring you back." She extracted the Strix spell and handed it to him.

"FYI," said Beatrix, "it's a Strix Coven spell. They're enticing her."

Kol's eyes immediately darkened. "No," he said, shoving the spell onto the bar. "Absolutely not."

"But you can live again!" Davina cried. "Isn't that what you want?"

"Yes, more than anything, but this spell is incredibly dangerous. There is a reason Beatrix refused to join them!"

"They can give me power, Kol. Real power! I can bring you back!"

Kol shook his head. "Find another way, love. Not with them. Nothing is worth what they'll make you do. Please. I know you both will find something else."

The lights began to buzz and flicker again. "Time to go," said Beatrix urgently. "The Ancestors are close. Come on— back exit."

She took their hands and tugged them out, rushing out and back into the streets, moving as fast as they could toward St. Anne's church.

"You two keep going, no matter what happens," said Kol, looking back over his shoulder. "If I fall behind, don't look back."

But it was too late. A woman stepped forward into their path. Beatrix didn't recognize her, but Davina clearly did. "Hello, Davina," said the woman, smiling malevolenty. "No one can help you now. Certainly not the spirit of a dead vampire or a Heretic who isn't actually from these Ancestral lands."

Kol growled. "Alright, that's about enough out of you—"

The witch thrust out her hand, sending Kol backward. Beatrix flicked her wrist, but her face went pale when she realized her magic wasn't working. "No— no—"

"Foolish girl," said the witch. "You are part vampire. Your magic can do nothing inside her. And even though Davina can... she's no match for me."

The woman raised her hands, and both Davina and Beatrix began to cry out in pain, holding their heads and falling to their knees as fire seeped into their brains.

But suddenly, the spell stopped, and a pale girl with white-blonde hair forced the witch back. "I can help you cross back," said the girl when the other witch mysteriously vanished. "But we have to go now."

Beatrix stumbled up to grab Kol, and the four began to hurry the rest of the way to St. Anne's church. "Go!" cried Kol when they got in, blocking the door with a wooden plank. "I'll handle them. At least buy you a minute or two."

The Heretic pulled him into a hug. "Be safe," she whispered as the Ancestors began to pound on the door.

"No!" cried Davina. "We're not leaving without you!"

"He can't come where we're going," said the pale girl. "Not yet. If we leave now, we can come back."

When Davina made to protest, Kol came to take her hands and kiss her forehead. "If you don't go now, we're all lost. Besides, this way, you owe me one, and don't think for a second I won't aim to collect. Now, go!"

The three ran the rest of the way up to the attic, but they found Josh laying unconscious on the ground, his hands unlinked from both Davina and Beatrix.

"It's too late!" said Davina. "Our link to Josh is broken."

"I know you're scared, but you have to concentrate," said the girl, making Beatrix narrow her eyes suspiciously. "Focus on what you love most. Recall the thing that makes you want to live. Fight with that in mind."

It didn't take much concentration from either of them to wake up back in the real attic, but Beatrix immediately sped to the pale girl, grabbing her by the throat. "Alright, who the hell are you?" she snapped. "You're the one that severed our link to Josh! You're the only other person here!"

The girl gagged, and Davina pushed Beatrix off. "Stop it— you're hurting her!" She looked at the girl as she began to pant for air. "Ariane, why did you help us?"

"Because Aya wanted you saved," she said simply, almost unfazed by what'd happened. "Both of you."

Davina bit her lip. "Aya said that the witches of your coven were granted the power to have your greatest heart's desire. Did you make that deal?"

Ariane nodded. "Yes. And, I will answer your real question as well— it was worth it."

Before she could leave, Beatrix grabbed her arm, glaring down at her. "I will not join the Strix Coven," she sneered. "But I will accompany Davina to your little Davilla Estate hideout. I will not let you Strix Sisters ruin her."

Ariane smiled as though this did not bother her. "Fine by us."