Chapter 18

The day passed in a blur. Wake up, breakfast, then training with Raph where he surprisingly kept all hands and sultry remarks to himself. He'd had me practice the on punching bag the entire time. Lunch. TV and dinner. I lay on the couch staring at the ceiling. Maybe he'd gotten the message? He hadn't so much as glanced my way today. Why didn't that make me feel better? The light was still on under his door, and I sat up staring at it. "Just rip the bandaid off." I whispered getting up.I knocked on his door gently, my heart pounding as I waited for him to open it. When he did the scent of him swirled around me, spiced soap and a hint of incense from his room. "What?" I blinked, not surprised by his cold greeting but still not liking it. Why whenever he was in front of me did I second-guess everything?"Can we talk?" He stood to the side and let me walk in, closing the door behind me. "Look, we need-"His mouth slammed into mine and the words died on my lips. Goddammit, why did he do this to me? How did he do this to me? My hands slid up his arms, feeling every curve and bend of his muscles and he shivered."Raph.." I tried into his lips, my unease surfacing through the haze that he brought over me. But the hand at the small of my back, strong fingers sliding across my back and pulling my middle into him, made me melt.He pulled his lips away panting slightly."I've been wanting to do that all day." He mumbled.I detangled myself from his arms and the oxygen flooding back into my head cleared my thoughts."We need to talk." I repeated smoothing down my hair.He made a face."I think we have different ideas of what this is." I rambled moving on autopilot as I tried to take control of my body, telling it I was in charge and to pipe down. He raised an eyebrow as he leaned against his door and crossed his arms."And what is this?" He asked coolly.I bit my lip looking for the right words."We're..messing around." I said finally, not being able to find another way to describe it.He rolled his eyes."No. We're not." He snorted bitterly. His sheer dismissal sparked my anger. "And you get to decide that?" He shoved off the door and moved to me slowly."I didn't. If I had any choice at all, this," He said gesturing between us. "Wouldn't be happening at all." His words shouldn't have stung, but they did. "But what's happening is bigger than just messing around. And you know it." I shook my head."It can't be though." I said trying to make him listen to reason."Why? Because you don't want it to be? News flash, I don't want to feel like this either. I'm betraying my best friend. I'm sneaking around behind my brothers backs, I had to threaten Mikey to keep quiet." His finger hooked in the front of my jeans and slowly pulled me towards him. "But I can't help but want you, all the time. I can't even be in the same room as you without feeling like I can't focus on anything else." I gulped, he was describing everything I was experiencing."It's lust. We just need to fuck it out of our system." I argued and he paused reeling me in."You don't think I know the difference?" He asked, his voice turning angry. Good, I wanted him angry. Angry was easier than hurt."You know the difference to Miya." He yanked me into him and fisted his hand in my hair walking me back to his bed and tossing me on it. I was on his bed. The smell of him was like a trap, it roped me to the mattress. He grabbed my ankle and pulled me to the edge of the bed, and leaned down over me, placing his hands on both sides of my head; his weight making the bed dip, effectively trapping me beneath his large body. "You can lie to yourself all you want." He said before leaning down and kissing me so gently it took my breath away. I wished he wouldn't kiss me like that, it made my heart knot up like a pretzel."This is more than just messing around." I gasped when his hand slid down and came between my legs, running across the middle seam of my jeans. "But if you came up here to stop this like I think you did, I can remind you why we're messing around." My hands fisted in the sheets when he pressed on my swollen clit through my jeans and I wished I'd chosen something lighter so I could feel his touch better. As if answering my prayer, he popped open the button to my jeans and slid his hand down under my panties and along the slickness beneath them, straight to the point that was so Raphael. "Look at you, you can't help it can you? You want to run, but you can't." He groaned into my neck as I closed my eyes and arched my back against the sensation of his thick finger sliding across me. All thoughts of ending this flew out the window along with my senses. He bit my shoulder making me moan and rubbed slow, painful circles. "Stop fucking teasing me." I groaned desperately. He kissed me so hard it hurt and his free hand wrapped around my throat."You want my fingers in you?" He taunted rubbing faster. I nodded my head. I wanted him. I wanted him fucking me so hard I couldn't walk straight. "I want you in me."The hungry look in his eyes turned starving, but he looked pained by it."I could hurt you." He said pausing all movement."I'm bigger than you, in every way." I bit my lip smirking, hoping that was true. I rolled my hips in protest of his concern needing the friction against his fingers. He growled and tightened his grip on my throat bringing my shoulders off the mattress and pulling his hand from my needy pussy. "I'm serious."I growled and wrapped my legs around him, pulling him into me and rolled against him making his eyes shudder deliciously."You talk a big game Raphie." I mocked while licking his lips and kissing him, hoping to drive him off the edge of senselessness with me. With a growl, he shoved me back into the mattress and yanked my body to the center of the bed, his lips never leaving mine as he adjusted our positions.His hands slid down my body slowly and his fingers hooked in the loops of my jeans yanking them down. I lifted my hips to help him and felt freed when he tossed them behind him. I spread my legs around him unabashedly, and he left my lips to look at me lying before him in my panties and tank top. "Fuck." He ground out.His thumb ran across my soaked underwear and I tensed at the sensation. He watched me with such starvation it drove me deeper into the ground with need.His free hand went between his legs and my breath hitched when his cock dropped down into his hand. Dark green and every bit as mouth watering as I thought it would be. He palmed it and his breathing became erratic. I threw my head back when his fingers pulled aside my panties and he plunged a finger inside me, pumping in and out before adding a second one, stretching me for what was to come. "You want my cock?"I lifted my head and met his eyes, nodding."Beg for it." He growled his hips thrusting a little against his hand.I glared at him.He was a fucking sadistic bastard. He knew what it meant, it meant I was giving in. I would be asking him to give me what I was starved for, despite why I shouldn't. He wanted me to declare I wanted him anyway. "No." His fingers left me, and I let out a whine at the emptiness. He pinched my clit making my legs jerk."I said fucking beg for it." He slid the tip of his dick across my slickness and I could see it was torturing him as much as it was me. He shuddered and leaned up, slamming a hand beside my head and getting so close to my lips that they grazed mine. "Do it." He snarled at me, every muscle in his body tensed. I wanted him, I'd never wanted anything more. It was physically painful. But he wasn't giving in, I could see it in his eyes. He'd deny me and himself if I didn't give him the submission he was asking for. "Please..Raph. Fuck me." I hadn't even finished my sentence before he was sliding into me with a groan."Fuck." He hissed, and I squeezed my eyes shut against the feeling of him stretching me.My hands fisted in the sheets as my inner walls clamped around him and if it weren't for the gush of lust I was climbing I would have been wincing at the stretch my pussy was trying to accommodate "Look at me." He said grabbing my face so hard I was afraid he'd bruise my cheeks.My eyes snapped open."Relax." He whispered kissing me gently and lightning his touch on my face. His kiss lulled me and I brought my arms up, wrapping them around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. He slid in with more ease and I moaned into his lips as I adjusted. "Tell me to stop if-""Shut up." I said biting his lip hard.He growled and slammed the rest of the way into me, punishing me. My eyes rolled back and he slid back out, then in slowly letting me get used to his size."Fuck, Raph." I moaned, rolling my hips and placing myself exactly where I wanted his length to pound.He leaned up and his hand slid between us and found my clit, rubbing fast circles and filling me completely, his width giving me a sensation no human man would be able to satisfy. I was dying. I'd found heaven and I was dead. He sped up as it became easier to take him and my hands fisted in the sheets above me as I arched my back up for him to pound that spot. His free hand gripped my throat tightly and claimed me shamelessly. "Still think this is just lust?" He grunted, slamming into me once and holding it there.He rubbed faster, my telling wetness dripping all over him and making it slick enough for him to pound into me. He choked me so hard black dotted my vision."Lust doesn't feel this fucking good." He snarled.Our groans filled the space between us and he was the only thing I was aware of, everything else didn't exist, just Raph taking me and driving me closer and closer to the edge. "Do I talk a big game, Miya? Because it feels like you're about to cum all over my cock." He growled leaning down into my lips and taking all my moans into his mouth like they fueled him to fuck me harder. The pressure was building and I felt myself climb so high it made me dizzy. I started tightening around him and he picked up the pace knowing I was close.He leaned up to get a better position so he could rub me the way that would tip me over the edge instead of riding on it. His hand left my throat and clamped over my mouth as I came so loudly I would have been horrified if I hadn't been riding so high. "Fuck yea, come on my cock." He snarled down at me, slamming into me so hard I saw stars and replacing his hand with his lips. It was all I could do to hold onto him as he fucked me so savagely I thought the bed might break. He let out an animalistic roar and ripped out of me, spurting hot ropes of cum on the inside of my thighs. He panted into my neck and his body trembled with aftershock. We laid there for a few moments catching our breath. He slid off of me and grabbed a towel from his laundry basket. When he turned back to me, he paused. "You're so fucking beautiful." My hair was a tangled mess, my cheeks flushed and his cum dripping down my thighs.I couldn't help but laugh at his ridiculous sentiment.He smirked and cleaned up the mess he'd made and tossed the towel aside before lying back down on the bed, his hands behind his head lazily. I went to get up, but he grabbed my wrist with speed and agility only a trained ninja could make look so effortless. "Where do you think you're going?" "I can't stay in here, your brothers..."Why are you always running?  His words echoed in my mind."I don't give a fuck about my brothers right now." The high was wearing off and that itch was back at the base of my spine. "Raph-""Get your ass back over here." A warmth spread through my chest banishing the itch. It terrified me that I wanted nothing more than to stay and cuddle with him right now. I bit my lip."I'm not asking." He said lowly.I could give in, like I did earlier. He would catch me, if I let him. Relax. He'd kissed me so gently..I gave him a small smile and slid in next to him. He put his arm around me, and I laid my head on his chest as he drug the blanket over me. I listened to the sound of his heart as we lay there. It had to be the most comforting sound in the whole world.