Chapter Five

Warnings: slow burn angst, fluff

Summary: It's yours and Clarissa's birthday. Sam and Dean throw a party in the Bunker for you two which makes you realize two things. One, you and Dean are more alike than you think. Two, your feelings for him are only going to get stronger.

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It's right there in black, thick ink. Clarissa makes sure to put it on every calendar she can find every single year. May 9th. The day you and Clarissa were born. She was born five minutes before you, making you the younger twin. The more you grow older, the less your birthday matters to you. Sure, you always hang with friends and eventually your parents, but you don't get excited about it anymore.

Clarissa, on the other hand, loves her birthday. She makes it a big spectacle and invites almost everyone she knows. Your parents are in another country for work so you'll have to do something with them when they get back, so it's up to you and Clarissa to do something if you want.

You leave your room and go down to the kitchen where she is. She's texting someone on her phone with a huge smile on her face.

"What are you smiling about? Who are you texting?" you ask and get a water bottle from the fridge.

"Dean. He says to come over in an hour."

Yeah, that's right. Dean hasn't lived with you since he got better. He moved out not that long ago to join his brother back at the Bunker. You didn't realize how lonely the house got when you didn't have him to come home to.

"Does this have anything to do with our birthday?"

"I don't know. He didn't say."

You know it does. Her birthday is all she could talk about for the past month.

"Happy birthday, Clarissa."

"Happy birthday to you, too," she grins.

If you're going to go over to the Bunker, you need to get dressed. The present you got for your sister is in the car because you didn't know what you were doing party-wise. If you went to a party, then it would be in the car for you to grab at a moment's notice. She saw you doing that and put your present in there, too.

The Bunker is only thirty minutes away so it doesn't take long to get there. There are no cars on the street or anything to indicate Dean has something up his sleeve. Knowing Clarissa, he has to. She wouldn't forgive him if he didn't at least throw her a party the day of. You park on the side of the street and grab the presents from the back.

You two walk to the front door and knock, only for Sam to open it.

"Hey, come on in." You two do and he closes the door behind you. "Let me take those."

"Thanks. What's going on? Where is Dean?" you ask.

"In the library."

It's suspiciously quiet. You and Clarissa walk into the library and out pops everyone Dean knows. Jack, Castiel, Jody, Donna, Clarie, Alex, Garth and his wife, Eileen, Charlie, Rowena, and Gabriel. It's a small party but super meaningful. Clarissa doesn't look too happy to be partying with a bunch of people she doesn't know but you know she has plans with her friends this weekend.

Dean's cast is off but he still has to take it easy while the leg continues to heal. The wounds on his abdomen have mostly healed but are scabbing over. He likes staying with you and Clarissa but he really misses his bed and is glad he's back in it.

"Happy birthday!!" everyone shouts.

"Thank you!"

You go around and greet everyone before allowing yourself to take in the decorations of the Bunker. Sam must have done a lot of this since Dean has never been the one to pay attention to detail. There are games set up all over the library like beer pong in one corner, card games in another, and a table full of alcohol and food.

The first game you decide to play is Cards Against Humanity. Everyone sits in a circle and grabs their cards before one person reads out the black card. Everyone else will choose one of their white cards to place down, and the person with the black card picks the funniest white card that best goes with the black one.

"What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?" Gabirle reads.

Everyone shuffles through their white cards, putting one down at a time. Once everyone does so, Gabriel shuffles them before reading them out loud. He gets to the last one and starts giggling like a schoolgirl.

"What is it?" you ask with a grin.

"I choose this one: Child Protective Services." Everyone laughs at how crude the joke is. "Who put this one down?"

"I did," Jack says. "What's an orgy?"

Again, you laugh at how innocent he is. Maybe you shouldn't be playing this game with someone like him.

About an hour has passed before people start getting bored of this game. Dean grabs three alcohol bottles and brings them over to the group.

"Never Have I Ever!" He must have had a few drinks before this because he looks a little tipsy. "I'll go first. Never have I ever tried a flavored condom."

You pick up your glass and take a sip along with a few others in the group. There was this one guy who had grape-flavored condoms and you almost threw up. That's the first and only time you have ever tried one.

"Never have I ever had a threesome," Jack says. Everyone looks at him like he's crazy. How does he know about all of this? "What? Dean gave me a book to read."

This time, almost everyone drinks. The only people who don't are Jack, Claire, Alex, Garth, and his wife.

"Really? You're drinking?" Dean asks you.

"What can I say? I'm a twin," you grin.

Since Castiel is so innocent and hasn't really done anything, he gets bored of watching everyone else drink and decides on another game that everyone can play. It's called Suck and Blow where one person holds a card to their mouth just by breathing in. They have to pass it to the person on their right or left, and they blow the card over to the person who then catches it with their mouth and sucks to hold it to their face. If the person drops it on their own, i.e. can't suck long enough, they have to take a shot or a drink. If the person drops it with another person, both of them have to kiss.

Luck would have it that you're sitting right next to Dean with Clarissa on the other side of him. The direction is going clockwise which means you'd have to pass the card to Dean when it comes to you. Suddenly, all the alcohol you've drunk is gone from your system. What if you drop it while passing it to him? Would you kiss him in front of everyone? Would you be able to keep it PG?

Garth and his wife kiss, Alex takes a shot, and Gabriel practically makes out with Rowena. Castiel does a good job of sucking the card to his face as he passes it to you. You like Castiel but never in that sense so you make sure the card is secure to your mouth before pulling away from the angel.

You turn to Dean and lock eyes with him. One second is all it takes to immediately feel the connection between you two. He meets you halfway and presses his lips to the other side of the card. Your eyes haven't left his even as you blow on it to get it unstuck from your mouth. You pull away before anyone else can see that there might be something between you two.

He turns to Clarissa and passes the card to her but she purposefully drops it just so she can kiss her boyfriend. You immediately look away from them because you can't help but picture yourself as her. You two are identical twins. It's hard not to think of yourself in her shoes when she looks exactly like you.

Everyone gets bored of this game easily as soon as people drop the card on purpose just to kiss someone they want to. After that, people kind of form their own groups and do their own thing. A game of beer pong is set up but you don't feel like partying with them anymore.

You go to the kitchen to get away from everyone. You let them tire themselves out until it's time to give the presents. You're not a materialistic person so you don't need a lot of presents but Clarissa is the complete opposite of you. She loves getting gifts and opening them. She'll have a better time doing this than you will.

"That's from me," Dean says when you grab a present from the table. "For you."

You open the package and take the top of the box off, gasping at what's inside. "You got me a gun? This is so cool. Thank you, Dean."

"I got it personalized with your name on the side."

"This is amazing. Thank you."

You don't have a lot of practice shooting guns but now you're gonna have to learn. Sam got you a collection of books and Castiel got you nursing equipment you can use at the hospital. Those three gifts are the best ones out of everything you got.

"I want this one first! Don't tell me who gave it to me. I want to guess," Clarissa grins.

She takes a medium-sized box and tears into the package with her perfectly manicured nails. Her smile is wiped off her face when she sees what's inside.

"What is it?" you ask.

"A pink knife, a pink gun, and a pink taser? Who got me this?"

You look around the room to gauge everyone's reactions. Dean looks like someone hit his dog with a car and he's trying to hide it. He got her this. She doesn't like it at all. He opens his mouth to answer but you jump in before he can.

"I did." Clarissa looks at you. You can feel Dean's eyes on you but you ignore him. "I got you those. You can't ever be too careful out there."

"Come on, you know me better than this," she shakes her head and puts the box on the ground.

"Here, this one is from Dean. Open this."

You grab the present you got her and hand it to her. It's a small box that piques her curiosity. The box is long and velvety which usually means it's for jewelry. She opens the long case and gasps in delight. Inside is a tennis bracelet with her name engraved into it.

"Oh, my God! I love it!" She jumps into his arms and presses kisses along his neck and jaw. "Thank you, baby."

"Anything for you."

You can't look at Dean but you can feel his eyes on you. The end of the party is meant for people who want to drink and chat before leaving. Jody, Donna, and the girls leave since they have a long drive ahead of them. Garth and his wife need to get back to their kids so they leave after the presents are done. The party is slowly getting smaller but the people who are left have a few more hours in them.

If you stay here any longer, you'll have a panic attack so you sneak away from the party and find yourself wandering the halls of the Bunker. You've been here plenty of times but you never really know what resides here.

You follow the hallway to a small staircase leading down to the gun range. Fitting seeing how you need to practice shooting. There is already a gun on the table from whoever used it last, so you grab it and inspect it. You don't shoot it but you do aim it as if you are.

"You need to switch the safety off if you want to shoot it."

You jump at the sudden voice coming from the door. Dean stands there with his hands in his pockets.

"I know. I don't want to shoot it."

"I know what you did back there. You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't do it for you." You keep your back to him so you don't have to look at him. "I did it because I didn't want to hear her whine about it."

"Right," Dean whispers. He walks closer to you until you can feel his body heat on your back. "Do you want me to show you how to use that gun?"

"Sure."

Dean wraps his arms around you and grabs the gun while it's still in your hands. He's talking but you don't hear a word he's saying. All you can focus on is the feel of his arms around you, the way his chest feels against your back, and the heat coming from his breath on your neck.m What the hell is wrong with you? Why can't you get him out of your mind? Why is he the only one you're having trouble with?

"Got it?" Dean asks, pulling you from your thoughts.

"I think."

Dean raises both your hands and aims the gun at the dummy at the other end of the room. He shoots it three times before removing his hands from yours. You find yourself leaning into him but he's already moving away from you. It's the alcohol. It has to be.

"See? You got it."

"Thanks."

You turn your head and look at him with hooded eyes. You can't help it when your eyes drop to his lips, and he licks his bottom lip in response. The door to the gun range opens and Clarissa pops her head open, causing you to move away from Dean quickly.

"There you are. I've been looking for you."

"Here I am," he says without taking his eyes off you.

"Come on, let me try my new clothes on for you."

You let Clarissa drag Dean away just as much as he lets her. There is no way you're going to drive thirty minutes back home after drinking even though you know you're fine. There are so many bedrooms in the Bunker, you decide to sleep over for the night.

However, you can't sleep. All you can think about is Dean pressed against you. This isn't fair. He's just a man. How are you letting him have this much control over you? You yank the blanket off you and leave your room in search of what? What are you looking for? Anything that might help you sleep.

You wander into the garage and see the shiny black Impala Dean is so fond of. She's a beautiful car. She's lucky to have Dean as an owner. Classic cars are much cooler than modern cars so the fact that he has this is just amazing. You'll never see a better-looking car that is used every day than this one.

"What are you doing up?"

You look back to see Dean walking into the garage. Of course, he's here. "I can't sleep. I decided admiring your car is a better use of my time."

"Yeah, she's a beaut."

"I've always wanted to drive her if I'm being honest."

Dean holds up a finger and returns back into the Bunker. He comes back out holding the keys to his car.

"You still have ten minutes left of your birthday. This is a one-time offer. Take it or leave it."

You don't hesitate to take the keys from him. The car runs better than you thought she did. Driving her on the open road with no other car in sight is everything you hoped it would be. You and Dean don't say much during this drive because what is there to say? You don't want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing.

You pull into a spot dedicated for cars to pull over if they want to take a break and enjoy the scenery but you don't get out. Instead, you admire the trees the moon illuminates.

"It's so peaceful out here and beautiful."

"Yeah, it is."

You look at Dean to see he's already looking at you.

"Thank you for my gift. I really like it."

"You're welcome."

A piece of hair falls in your face but before you have a chance to move it yourself, Dean reaches over and tucks it behind your ear. He keeps his hand on your jaw and runs his thumb over your cheekbone. There is no one else on the road. No Clarissa to interrupt. No one else to see what might happen.

He's leaning in but you're not sure if you have what it takes to resist him. You want nothing more than to kiss him but what kind of sister would you be if you did that to Clarissa? You're a lot of things but unfaithful isn't one of them. Dean's nose barely touches yours before you pull away quickly with a shake of your head.

You open the driver's door and hop out of the car while Dean stays inside.

"You can drive home."

What the hell are you doing, Dean? Why is it so hard to pick one?

Dean doesn't say a word as he slides behind the wheel. You get in on the other side and allow the ride home to be spent in silence.

What the hell are you doing, Y/N? Why is it so hard to stay away from him?