thirty-six

Kao

My eyes flew open and I quickly sat up on the bed almost kicking myself for dreaming that dream I just had.

What hell!?!

My dreams really has the worst timing!

Or best-that is if we talk about reminding me of my stupid life decisions.

Ugh!

I tugged at my hair in exasperation.

And just like that dream, and many other instances that concerned Pete, I was the first one to give in.

"What the hell am I here for then, you, idiot!?!"

Those words I screamed at Pete before I headed straight to my room last night echoed in my mind.

The plan of finishing the reports Kaleb asked me to help him with, forgotten.

"Kao! You stupid! When will you ever stop running your mouth you jerk!?!"

I said loudly as I pulled on my hair still disappointed and angry at myself.

Why?

How?

What was I thinking snapping at Pete like that!?!

All was well.

Everything was fine.

And I could just very well talk to Pete about his issues and mine in a civilized manner like two grown up adults but no.

I really did have to tell him that what the hell was I thinking!?!

"Kao, you, stupid! Stupid! Stup-!"

My hand froze mid air and I stopped punching on the pillow when I heard a knock on my door.

My eyes blinked rapidly and despite the cold AC, I was starting to sweat bullets.

Please don't let it be him please not him.

I cried a silent prayer as I unconsciously prepped myself.

Wiping my eyes off and checking my breath which was obviously not in a good state that I ran towards the bathroom and gargled some mouth wash only to freeze when I realized what was happening.

I blinked at myself in the mirror!

Fvck!

This mouthwash stings!

I hastily spit the liquid out my mouth before I gargled some water after and chided myself.

Why did I even bother to make myself presentable!?!

Ugh!

Whatever!

I'm just trying to be a considerate human being to whoever might be on the other side of the door.

Whoever it was hopefully not the one I thought it was.

I heaved a loud sigh and checked myself in the mirror one more time before I walked straight to the door and opened it.

It was Len.

I was not sure why I was feeling kind of disappointed though.

And relieved at the same time.

Is that even possible!?!

"Good morning, Kao!"

I smiled at her.

Now that I am fully awake, I realized it was stupid of me to think that someone other than the house helps was knocking at my door since the master of the house would never knock and also because he had never been talking and pestering me these past few days.

Specially when I started going back to the university.

And again, I was not sure what to feel about that.

"Len, good morning!"

I tried to equal the smile Len gave me.

She didn't need to wonder what she did wrong if I show her my frown at all these.

She didn't deserve that, specially because she had become much more of my personal helper now, from preparing my breakfast for school as I leave early for school to washing and ironing and organizing my uniform and school stuff despite me telling her not to.

I knew she was only doing her job as what her boss asked if her which honestly still feels really awkward and crazy up until then because really, what employee has a personal help that does everything for him as what Len is to me!?!

Anyway, that's not what matters at the moment.

It's the reason why Len came up here and woke me up that I needed to know about.

"Young master sent me here to check on you. He said you have appointment at eight and it's already almost seven but you're still not up. He asked me to remind you."

I blinked at Len when I realized what she was talking about.

I looked at the digital clock on my bedside table and saw that it was indeed about five minutes before seven and I have not showered yet.

Because of my stupid dream, I forgot that it was Saturday and I was supposed to meet my group mates at eight.

Now with the traffic, I was not sure if I could still do that.

"Oh, thank god for reminding me Len, I'm just gonna go and take a shower you need anything more?"

I asked the house help before I dashed towards the bathroom.

"No more. Just get down after your shower. Your breakfast is ready and young master is waiting-."

I furrowed my brows and turned around to face Len when I heard what he just said.

"Waiting!?!"

I blinked at Len and asked her like stupid.

"Yes, Kao, he wanted to have breakfast with you. I heard him said it's been so long since you guys eat together."

Len smiled at me so sweetly which was an obvious contrast to my sour demeanor.

"If there's nothing I can do for you, can I be excused now, then?"

I nodded at her, not really hearing the lots of what she had to say as my mind drifted to the fact that Pete wanted to eat breakfast together after what happened last time.

After what I said.

"Fvck!"

My eyes widened when I realized that Len was still in front of my door.

"I'm sorry. Don't mind me. You can go now. Thanks."

She nodded and smiled and took her leave, leaving me by the door, dazed and confused.

And yes, a little bit scared and a whole damn nervous thinking about what Pete could have wanted.

Did he want to talk about what I said to him that time!?!

About the chance?

Or about me calling him idiot!?!

Fvck again!!!

Either way, I have a lot of things to be nervous with our impending breakfast.

"Ahhhhh!!!"

I yelled right after I closed the door and run straight to the shower for a quick one before I sat on my bed for a whole twenty minutes or so after, just thinking about how stupid can I ever get.

Okay, fine!

I said it!

I told him.

I slipped and outed myself and told him about my staying with him in his house and accepting his help as my way of giving him a chance.

Which, if I may point out, was also a big surprise for me.

I really have not thought about the chance consciously.

To be honest, despite agreeing to stay under his roof and in his payroll and going back to school with his money, I was convinced that I still hated Pete and what he did with and to me five years ago.

It was one of the reasons why I didn't want to listen to his explanation as what he claimed he has.

Initially, I thought, what's the use?

He left.

Without a word.

There were no enough words for him to use that could make me think and feel okay with what he did.

And after my failed attempt to escape I thought, if you can't beat them, join them.

That was why I resigned myself to living in this house, working as his secretary and accepting his university scholarship.

But then, something in me changed.

I didn't know how or when but one morning, I woke up and suddenly, I didn't feel too strongly to hate on Pete anymore.

I also started to notice all those small details about him and how he smiles at me and how he made sure that I was well taken care of by his helps.

Sure I didn't always like his ideas, specially that time when he got a hold of my academic transcripts and scheduled me for a university entrance exam without my knowledge but somehow, no matter how hard I tried to deny it. I couldn't help but see how Pete was really trying and I noticed how I started to feel funny about him again.

Just like I did back then.

And I didn't like it.

I should not!

And so, I tried my best to avoid him.

Just so I would not mess up again.

But then, I guess, as luck? Or bad luck would have it, I just slipped at him last night and my words were out there before I knew it.

Now, Pete wanted to have breakfast.

Damn Kao!

I groaned inwardly and bit my lower lip before I shot a glance at the clock which said that it was already half an hour past seven and I just knew I'd be late for my appointment.

That was why I made a run for the door but not before I secured my bag and the bag for the new cellphone Caizer gave me.

I rolled my eyes when I saw it dangling on my hand.

I narrowed my eyes at the bag.

Thinking about it now, it was actually the reason Pete and I had that little confrontation last night which I effortlessly ruined by making life poor decisions and bad sense of timing.

If Caizer wasn't being difficult stealthily putting it inside my bag when I clearly told him I didn't want it.

I mean, I appreciate how he didn't laugh at my phone or offered help instead but really, it was exhausting enough to have someone domineering wanting to help you, I didn't need one more.

I shook my head as continued down the stair and raised the paper bag so I could examine it properly.

I should return this by today and make sure none of this would ever happen again.

And by none, I mean even me slipping yet again.

I swallowed dryly when I finally reached the dining area and saw Pete's back at me.

Why does it seemed hard for me to breath!?!

Calm down, Kao, just relax!

Deep breath.

Everything would be alright.

The guy might have forgotten about what you said and just slept it off.

It's just breakfast.

Right.

"G-gmorning."

I mumbled as I pulled a chair beside Pete on his right.

"Hmm."

He hummed his answer as he focused on slicing his bacon and I watched him all the while I was putting my staff next to me.

"I thought you had an appointment by eight today?"

Pete regarded me right after he checked on his watch.

"Yeah. I'm-I overslept."

Was my short response before I took my cutlery and eyed the feast on the table which made me hungry all of a sudden.

I waited for Pete to comment but he didn't speak and so I scooped some rice and corned beef on my plate as I started eating quietly.

It felt kind of strange for me that Was Pete was quite.

I really thought he would want to talk about last night.

"Eat up. Gum will send you to your appointment today. And don't argue. It would be hard for you to commute at this hour on a weekend."

Pete said casually.

With a straight face no nonsense whatsoever that as if on instinct, I just nodded.

Guess it's best if I don't argue with him at the moment.

"What time will you be done, later!?!"

Pete asked again as if he's asking if I like my food.

"I'm not really sure but I don't plan to stay after five."

I said as I glanced at Pete over my food still uneasy with the causal atmosphere around.

Not that I would rather we bicker.

But then again, last night seemed to have not any effect on Pete at all and wait, am I disappointed!?!

What the hell, Kao!

Get a grip.

"What's wrong?"

I heard Pete asked before I turned to him and saw how his brows furrowed and that's when I caught myself shaking my head.

Fvck!

Did I just do it in the open!?!

I thought I did it mentally!?!

Double Fvck!

"I'm-Uhm, okay. I'm okay. Yeah. Okay."

I said as I scooped some more rice on my plate.

"Okay."

Pete quipped and we were in a very awkward silence until we both finished eating our breakfast.

And just as I was contemplating on how to excuse myself from the table, he spoke.

"Are you seeing Caizer tonight?"

He asked which automatically made me wet my lips.

I suddenly felt apprehensive.

"Yes."

I saw Pete raised his eyebrows before he nodded.

"Make sure to return the phone to him, alright? Use this instead."

Before I knew what he meant, Pete took something from the chair next to him on his left and placed it on the table in front of me.

I furrowed my brows and checked on the the paper bag and saw that Apollo just handed me the same thing he asked me to return.

I looked at him.

"That's not mine. That's the company's. We really give one for our employees. And since you're an employee, you get to have one. That's SOP."

I looked at Pete casually sipping his coffee.

"Company rule. You can't go around telling people you're my secretary with a beat up phone so you better make use of the one I just gave you."

Okay, so did I mention something about domineering!?!

Oh, well, at least Pete's my boss.

His kind of domineering is quite tolerable considering how he included me in his payroll.

But then again, that doesn't mean I'd hop on to using this phone at once.

I still have to think.

"I'll think about it."

I said as I stood up from my seat.

"Thank you but, if there's nothing else, I'd like to get going. It's almost eight."

I picked up my stuff the moment Pete nodded.

My head was starting to debate about what to do with Pete's phone only to get disrupted when he called me.

"Come home early, we still have to talk."

I made a face at him.

What about?

I was on to asking him that when he beat me to it.

"I have to finally take the chance."

Pete said before he winked at me and I couldn't help but widened my eyes.

What the hell!

Are you kidding me!?!