fifteen

The storm outside showed no signs of letting up. The rain pounded against the cabin with a relentless fury, while the wind howled through the trees, as if determined to tear the world apart. Inside, however, the small fire continued to crackle softly, offering a sanctuary of warmth and light against the raging tempest.

Negan tossed another log onto the fire, watching as the flames greedily consumed the wood. He glanced over at Ariana, who was curled up on the old couch, the blanket still wrapped tightly around her. Her eyes were fixed on the fire, lost in thought.

Negan leaned back in his chair, a playful grin tugging at his lips.

"So, darlin', how are you enjoying our little adventure? You did lose the bet, after all."

Ariana's gaze shifted from the fire to him, her expression unreadable for a moment. Then, she let out a small, almost reluctant smile.

"It's not exactly what I had in mind, but I guess I've had worse days."

Negan chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "Not the glowing review I was hoping for, but I'll take it. Thought you might be enjoying yourself a bit more, considering the company."

Ariana rolled her eyes, though there was a hint of amusement in her voice. "You really can't help yourself, can you?"

"Hey, I just wanna know if you're having a good time," Negan replied, his tone light but his eyes searching her. "I know you're not right. I can read people too. So tell me what's going on."

Ariana hesitated, her smile fading as she looked back at the fire. The question seemed simple enough, but it struck something deeper in her. She took a deep breath, wondering how much she should share, and then decided that maybe, just maybe, this was the time to be honest.

"Thinking about everyone back home." She began, her voice soft.

Negan watched her carefully, his usual smirk slipping away as he listened.

"You've not told me what home is."

Ariana rolled her eyes and laughed. "Nice try. Ten out of ten for effort."

Negan laughed. "I'm sorry. Carry on."

Ariana continued, her voice growing steadier as she spoke.

"I thought I'd miss it more than I have. But I felt like I didn't always fit in there. And I would always get bored. But lately... I don't know. Something's changed. I don't get bored anymore. Maybe I'm starting to realise that 'home' isn't what it used to be. It's not a place anymore. It's... it's something else."

She glanced at Negan, meeting his gaze for a brief moment before looking away again.

"And then there's you." She said, almost in a whisper."At first, I didn't know what to think. You're... well, you're you. Loud, brash, dangerous. But you're also... surprising. You've surprised me today, a lot."

Negan was silent for a moment, his eyes softening as he processed her words. He hadn't expected this level of honesty from her, and it caught him off guard. The banter, the flirting, it was all familiar territory. But this? This was new.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at her.

"You know." He said quietly. "It ain't easy letting go of the past. But it sounds like you're starting to figure out where you belong in all this mess. And as for me... I ain't exactly the kinda guy who makes friends easy. But I like you, Ariana. You're tough, smart, and you don't take shit from anyone. It's kinda nice, having someone around who ain't scared of me."

Ariana felt a warmth spread through her chest at his words, though it wasn't the same kind of warmth that the fire provided. It was something deeper, something that made her heart beat just a little faster.

Negan tilted his head, a small, sincere smile on his lips. "Wow you're properly starting to enjoy my company, huh?!"

Ariana couldn't help but smile back. "Shut up."

Negan's smile widened, and he leaned back in his chair, looking satisfied. "Well, darlin', maybe this storm was just what we needed, a little time away from the chaos to figure out where we stand."

Ariana nodded, feeling a sense of peace settle over her despite the storm still raging outside. "Yeah, maybe it was."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the fire crackling softly between them. The storm continued to batter the cabin, but inside, it was warm and quiet, a world away from the violence and uncertainty that waited beyond the walls.

After a while, Negan broke the silence, his tone light and teasing once more.

"You know, if we're gonna be stuck here for a while, we might as well make the most of it. How 'bout another round of that game? I still got plenty more to ask."

Ariana laughed softly, shaking her head. "You just can't get enough, can you?"

Negan grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Not when I'm having this much fun."

Ariana smiled, feeling a sense of ease she hadn't felt in a long time.

"Alright, Negan. One more round. But this time, I get to ask the first question."

Negan leaned forward, his grin widening. "Bring it on, darlin'. I'm all yours."

Ariana leaned forward, a sly smile on her lips as she considered her first question.

"Alright. If you weren't here, doing this..." She gestured vaguely at their surroundings. "What do you think you'd be doing right now? If the world hadn't gone to hell, I mean."

Negan leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he considered her question. "You mean, if I wasn't the big bad wolf of the apocalypse?"

Ariana nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Yeah, if you were just Negan. Regular guy with a regular life."

Negan's eyes darkened slightly, and for a moment, he seemed lost in thought.

"Hell, I don't know. Before all this, I wasn't exactly the kind of guy who planned out his life. Used to be a teacher, like you, if you can believe that. Gym class." He chuckled softly, shaking his head. "But I guess if things hadn't gone to shit, I'd probably still be in some small town, yelling at kids to run faster and stay outta trouble."

Ariana blinked in surprise. "You were a teacher too?"

"Yeah, well, I had my moments." Negan said with a smirk, though there was a hint of something softer in his eyes. "I wasn't always the guy you see now. I used to have... well, a different life. Different dreams."

Ariana nodded, her curiosity piqued. "And now?"

Negan shrugged, his expression hardening. "Now? Now, I'm just trying to survive like everyone else. Keeping my people safe, keeping myself from going crazy in a world that's gone off the rails."

Ariana could see the brief flicker of something raw in his eyes before he pushed it back down, returning to the confident, almost cocky demeanor she was used to. But that brief glimpse of the man he used to be stuck with her, and she couldn't help but feel a pang of empathy.

"What about you, darlin'?" Negan asked, leaning forward and narrowing his eyes playfully. "What would you be doing if the world hadn't gone to shit?"

Ariana hesitated, her smile fading slightly as she thought about the life she'd lost.

"I guess I'd be back home, in England. Working at the village school. Funny, isn't it? I thought I had all the time in the world to figure things out, to make something of myself. But then... everything changed."

Negan watched her closely, his expression uncharacteristically gentle. "And now?"

Ariana sighed, leaning back against the sofa and pulling the blanket tighter around her.

"Now, I'm just trying to find my place in this new world. Trying to figure out if there's still a way to live my life and be satisfied, even with everything that's happened."

Negan nodded, his eyes never leaving hers.

"You're doing alright, Ariana. Better than most, that's for damn sure." Negan shifted slightly in his chair, breaking the silence with a mischievous grin. "Alright, my turn. Let's get to the real question, darlin'. You said I've surprised you today. How so?"

"You're just different than I expected." She admitted, her voice steady. "You're not just some heartless leader who rules with fear. There's more to you than that, and the more time I spend with you, the more I see it."

Negan raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Oh? And what exactly do you see, Ariana?"

Ariana bit her lip, choosing her words carefully. "I see someone who cares more than he lets on. Someone who's had to make hard choices to keep his people safe, even if it means doing things that others might not understand. But I also see someone who's still human, someone who's not as untouchable as he pretends to be."

Negan's playful expression softened. "You're not wrong." He said quietly. "I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, but in this world, sometimes you don't get the luxury of being the good guy. Sometimes, you gotta be the guy that gets shit done."

Ariana nodded, understanding the weight behind his words.

"I get that. I really do. But you're not alone, Negan. You don't have to carry it all by yourself."

"Maybe I don't." He smiled.

"Tell me something you've never told anyone else."

Negan leaned back in his chair, the firelight flickering in his eyes as he considered her challenge. His usual grin faded into something more contemplative.

"That's a hell of a question, Ariana."

Ariana smiled slightly, leaning forward. "I figured it was time to up the stakes."

Negan chuckled, rubbing a hand over his jaw. He was quiet for a long moment, staring into the fire as if the answer might be hiding somewhere in the flames. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, almost a whisper.

"There was a time... before all this, when I thought I could be a good man. Not just a survivor, not just someone who did what he had to do, but someone who could actually make a difference, you know? I had a wife. Lucille. She was... everything. And for a while, I tried to be the man she saw in me. But I failed her. I wasn't strong enough to save her when she got sick. And after she was gone, so was the man that I was trying to be."

Ariana listened, her heart aching at the vulnerability in his voice. She had never seen this side of him before, and it made her feel closer to him in a way she hadn't expected.

"Negan, I-"

He held up a hand, cutting her off gently.

"Don't go getting all mushy on me, now. I don't tell that story for pity. Just... sometimes, I think about what could've been. Who I could've been. But in the end, this world doesn't have room for that man. So I became someone else. Someone stronger. Someone who could survive."

Ariana nodded, feeling the weight of his words settle over her.

"I understand. But I think... maybe that man's still in there, somewhere. I see glimpses of him, sometimes. When you're not being such a dick."

Negan barked out a laugh, shaking his head. "Well, don't get your hopes up too high, darlin'. I've got a reputation to maintain."

"I won't hold my breath. But for the contrary, behind closed doors, I know you're not a bad person."

Negan looked at her, his expression softening.

"You are something else. Most people see me and only see the monster. The guy who does whatever it takes to survive, no matter who gets hurt. But you... you see more. Don't know if that's smart or crazy, but I kinda like it."

Negan reached across the small space between them, his hand brushing hers where it rested on the couch. The touch was light, almost tentative, but it sent a jolt of electricity through her. She looked up, meeting his eyes, and for a moment, the world outside seemed to disappear.

"You know, if things were different... if we weren't stuck in this fucked-up world... I think I'd want to know what it's like to have you around. To really know you."

Ariana swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest. "And if things were different... maybe I'd want that too."

The air between them felt charged, like the eye of a storm where everything was calm but full of potential.

Negan's hand lingered on hers, his thumb tracing small circles on her skin. "What do you say, Ariana? You ready to see where this goes, or are we gonna keep dancing around it?"

Ariana hesitated, the weight of the moment pressing down on her. She wasn't sure if she was ready to cross that line, to let herself fall for a man who was so dangerous, so unpredictable. But as she looked into Negan's eyes, she saw something she hadn't expected... vulnerability, honesty, and maybe even hope.

She took a deep breath, letting the words come naturally. "I don't know where this is going, Negan. But I'm not ready to walk away from it either. I've never had this connection before..."

Negan's grin returned, softer this time, less cocky. "Good answer, darlin'. Real good answer."

The tension between them was almost unbearable, but in the best possible way.

Negan leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Last question of the night. What happens next, Ariana?"

Ariana looked at him, her heart pounding in her chest as she weighed her options. There were no easy answers, no clear paths forward. But maybe that was okay. Maybe, for once, it was enough just to be here, in this moment, with him.

"I don't want to be in a harem." She said quickly.

Negan burst into laughter. "Hell, if you want some honestly, since you've appeared in my life I haven't even been able to even think about the others."

"I like that." She smiled, a soft, genuine smile that lit up her eyes. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Negan's eyes sparkled with a mix of amusement and something deeper. "Guess we will."