one

The dining room in their home in Alexandria was filled with a familiar warmth, the kind that came with shared meals and quiet conversations. The flickering light from the oil lamps danced across the walls, casting long shadows that seemed to blur the lines between past and present. They sat around the small table, their plates loaded with whatever they could scrape together, canned beans, dried meat, and fresh vegetables from the garden. It was simple, but it was theirs.

Ariana sat between Michonne and Carl, trying to focus on the meal in front of her. But her mind was somewhere else, caught up in the unease that had been building between her and Michonne for what felt like days. She could feel it simmering beneath the surface, waiting to spill over.

Michonne's gaze was a constant and heavy presence. Ariana knew that the inevitable confrontation was looming, like a storm gathering on the horizon. She'd been bracing herself, but the anticipation was becoming a physical weight.

"We need to talk." Michonne began, her voice cutting through the oppressive silence.

Ariana's fork clattered against her plate, a sharp discordant note in the otherwise quiet room. She didn't look up, her eyes fixed on the remnants of her food.

"About what?" Her voice was almost a mere whisper, a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within her.

Michonne leaned forward, her expression a mixture of concern and determination. "About you going out alone. It's too dangerous."

Rick glanced up, his expression serious but measured. He didn't say anything, but Ariana could see the worry mirrored in his eyes. Carl was quieter than usual, his attention seemingly on his plate, but she knew he was tuned in to every word.

A bitter laugh escaped Ariana's lips. "Dangerous? This whole world is dangerous. I've adapted. I've survived." Her voice hardened. "I'm not a child, Michonne. I'm only a few years younger than you."

Michonne's eyes narrowed. "It's not about treating you like a child. It's about protecting you. Things are different now. The Saviours are out there. It's not just walkers anymore."

"I'm not a liability." Ariana replied, trying to keep her frustration in check. "I'm doing what I've always done, getting what we need to survive."

Michonne shook her head slightly, her voice soft but insistent. "This isn't about being a liability. It's about being part of something bigger. You don't have to do this alone, Ari. We're stronger together."

The words hung in the air, heavy with meaning. Ariana knew that she was right, but the idea of staying behind, of letting others take the risks while she stayed safe, felt unbearable. She needed to be out there, to keep moving, to feel like she was contributing.

"I need to be out there, Michonne." She said quietly, glancing between her and Rick. "Sitting here... it's not enough. I can't just watch from the sidelines."

Rick spoke up then, his voice calm but firm. "We understand that, Ariana. But you don't have to go it alone. We can plan these runs together, make sure everyone comes back safe."

"I appreciate that." She replied, struggling to find the right words. "But this is something I need to do. I like going alone."

Carl finally looked up, his voice quiet but steady. "We just want you to be safe, Ari. That's all."

The room went quiet again, the weight of Carl's words sinking in. Ariana looked at him, then back at Michonne, her hand reaching out to rest on hers. The concern in her eyes was undeniable.

"I just... worry about you." Michonne said softly. "You're family. We can't afford to lose you. I can't afford to lose you. We can't have a repeat of what happened before."

"I can't believe you're still holding that against me." Ariana laughed.

The tension in the room simmered, making the small space feel even more confined. She pushed her plate away, the food suddenly unappetising. The words Michonne and Rick had said repeated in her head, each one like a stone sinking deeper into her chest. She knew they were just trying to protect her, but the frustration that had been building all evening finally reached its breaking point.

"I need some air." She muttered, the words escaping before she could stop them. The chair scraped loudly against the floor as she stood, the sharp sound cutting through the silence. Michonne and Rick looked up, surprise flickering in their eyes, but she didn't give them a chance to speak.

"Ariana, wait-" Michonne started, but Ariana was already moving, her legs carrying her towards the door before her mind could catch up.

"Leave it." She threw over her shoulder, not bothering to hide the edge in her voice. The walls of the house felt like they were closing in, the warmth that had once been comforting was now feeling suffocating. She needed to get out, to put some distance between her and the conversation.

As she stepped outside, the cool night air was a stark contract to the heated exchange within. The vast expanse of the sky offered a momentary respite, a chance to gather her thoughts. But solitude to Ariana was like a double edged sword. It offered solace, but also amplified loneliness.

Ariana walked quickly, her footsteps crunching on the gravel path as she made my way toward the edge of the community. The gates loomed in the distance, dark and imposing, but all she could think about was getting as far away from the suffocating concern as possible.

"Ariana!" Michonne's voice cut through the quiet, a sharp edge of desperation in her tone.

Ariana ignored her, pressing on, her pace quickening. She needed space, a moment to regain control. The world seemed to narrow down to the rhythmic pounding of her heart and the crunch of gravel beneath her feet.

Michonne's hand clamped down on her arm, halting her forward momentum. "Stop." She demanded, her voice low and dangerous. Ariana wrenched her arm free, spinning to face her friend.

"What do you want?" Ariana spat, her voice laced with venom.

Michonne's expression was a mixture of concern and frustration. "I want you to talk to me."

Ariana laughed, a bitter, hollow sound. "Is that it? You want me to spill my guts out for your amusement?"

Michonne's patience was wearing thin. "This isn't a game, Ari. We're trying to help."

"Help?" Ariana scoffed. "By treating me like a child? Do you know how patronising it feels when you talk to me like that?"

"You don't help your case when you storm out like a child!" Michonne snapped.

The tension between them was palpable, a silent battle for dominance. Michonne stepped closer, her eyes locked onto Ariana's.

"I'm trying to reach you." She said softly. "I care about you. There are plenty of people here who care about you."

Ariana felt a pang of guilt, but she pushed it aside. She had built walls around her heart for a reason.

"I don't need your pity." She retorted, her voice trembling slightly. "Or anyone else's."

Michonne reached out a hand, but Ariana stepped back.

"Don't." She warned.

A long moment of silence passed between them. Then, slowly, carefully, Michonne lowered her hand.

"I'm not going to give up on you, Ariana." She said quietly.

Ariana looked away, unable to meet Michonne's gaze. The truth was, she didn't want to be alone. But the fear of vulnerability was a powerful force.

"I know." She said finally, her voice barely audible."I know."

The weight of Michonne's words settled on Ariana. It was as if a veil had been lifted, exposing the raw truth she had been desperately trying to ignore. She had erected a fortress of isolation, brick by brick, to shield herself from the pain of loss. But in doing so, she had condemned herself to a solitary existence.

A single tear escaped her eye, tracing a silent path down her cheek. The vulnerability was terrifying, but it was also a profound relief. The weight of carrying the world alone was beginning to feel unbearable.

"Every time I let someone in, I lose them."

"But shutting yourself away from other people isn't the answer." Michonne said softly. "You don't have to go through this alone." Michonne's hand found hers, a comforting touch that offered a lifeline in the emotional storm. "We're in this together, Ari."

"I just can't shake the feeling that I don't belong here." Ariana muttered, her voice fragile as it cracked under the weight of unspoken insecurities. She let out a deep sigh, her shoulders slumping as she unconsciously leaned closer to Michonne, seeking some kind of comfort, even if she wasn't sure she deserved it.

Michonne's gaze sharpened with concern. "What do you mean by that?" She asked, her tone calm but probing, trying to understand the depth of what was going through Ariana's mind.

Ariana hesitated, biting her lip, her eyes trained on the dirt beneath her boots. "It's just different for you." She began, her voice barely above a whisper, as if saying it aloud made the feeling more real. "You've found Rick. You have something here. And you're close with everyone... it's like you fit." She paused, swallowing hard before continuing. "But it's never been like that for me. I feel like nobody really likes me here. I try, but... I don't know if I'm meant to be part of this place. Part of them."

Michonne studied her for a moment, her face softening. "Ari, don't let your head play tricks on you." She said, her voice steady but warm. "Alexandria is your home. We're your family."

Ariana's lips pressed into a thin line as she shook her head, frustration creeping into her voice. "I want to believe that. But the truth is... I feel like I'm just tagging along. I'm here, but I'm not really part of anything. Everyone has their place. Rick's the leader, Daryl's the hunter, Carol's... Carol. And you're strong, you're so fucking strong. Everyone respects you. I just-" She broke off, her breath hitching as she fought to keep her emotions in check. "I don't know where I fit in this world. I don't think it's here."

Michonne frowned, her eyes narrowing slightly as she tried to make sense of what Ariana was saying. "Ariana, you've been part of this group as long as I have. You've fought for this, for these people. That means something."

"Does it?" Ariana's voice rose, the frustration bubbling over now. "I've been here, sure, but I've never felt like I've earned my place. I'm not a leader, I'm not a fighter like you. I'm just... surviving." She shook her head again, her fingers balling into fists. "And I'm tired of just surviving. I feel like I need to find where I belong. A place that's mine."

Michonne's eyes narrowed as she took a step closer to Ariana, her tone suddenly more authoritative. "You're not going anywhere, Ariana."

Ariana blinked, taken aback by the sharpness in Michonne's voice. "What? You don't get to tell me what to do, Michonne."

"You're right." Michonne said, her gaze unflinching. "I don't. But this isn't about control, and you know it. You're not thinking straight right now, and if you go out there, it's not just your life you're risking, it's everyone's. And you're not allowed to go off on your own anymore."

Ariana's expression twisted with frustration, her shoulders tense as she tried to pull away from Michonne's hold, but the grip on her arm tightened just enough to keep her still. "That's not your decision."

Michonne's voice softened, but it didn't lose its edge."I know that. But the Saviours? They're not just walkers you can outmaneuver, or scavengers looking for food. They're people who'll tear you apart for sport, who'll hurt you just because they can."

Ariana swallowed hard, trying to hold onto the defiance building inside her, but Michonne's words hit something deeper, something raw. She wanted to argue, to tell Michonne that she was wrong, that she could handle whatever was out there... but could she?

Yet still the idea of being trapped behind the walls, of staying in a place where she felt more like a ghost than a part of anything real, gnawed at her.

"But I can't stay here, Michonne. Not like this. I'm suffocating. That's why I like going outside of the walls, on my own!"

"You think it's bad here? Try facing what's out there without backup." Michonne replied, her voice unyielding. "You know what Negan and his men are capable of. If they find you on your own, you won't just be a casualty, Ariana. You'll be an example."

Ariana flinched at the mention of Negan. She'd heard the stories, yet none of them had yet been graced with his presence.

But nothing and nobody could be worse than The Governor in her eyes.

"I don't care about them. I can't live my life afraid of every shadow."

"We need you here, Ari. And more importantly, you need to be here, whether you see it or not."

Ariana huffed, turning away from Michonne, trying to avoid the intensity of her gaze. "You say you need me, but I feel like I'm just another body taking up space. I'm not doing anything that matters."

"That's not true, and deep down, you know it," Michonne said firmly. "You've fought with us, bled with us. You've saved lives. You don't have to be a leader like Rick or a fighter like Daryl to matter. Everyone here plays a part."

Ariana shook her head, her voice lowering as her frustration gave way to exhaustion. "Maybe I just don't know what my part is anymore."

Michonne's expression softened, though her voice remained firm. "You don't have to figure it all out right now. But running off on your own isn't going to give you the answers you're looking for. It'll just get you killed, or worse."

Silence fell between them, heavy and tense, the weight of Michonne's words settling over Ariana like a suffocating blanket. Ariana could feel the conflict pulling her in two directions, the urge to escape, to find something that felt real and true to her, and the nagging sense that Michonne was right, that leaving now was nothing more than a reckless move born out of frustration and fear.

"I hate this." Ariana muttered, her voice barely audible. "I hate feeling trapped. I hate that I'm not like you. Strong. Clear-headed."

Michonne let out a soft breath, her hand still on Ariana's arm. "You think I don't feel trapped sometimes? We're all dealing with this world in our own way. But leaving isn't strength, Ari. Staying? Facing what's here? That's strength."

Ariana's eyes flickered with uncertainty, her chest tightening as the urge to push back warred with the growing realisation that Michonne was right. "I don't want to be a burden." She whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

"You're not a burden." Michonne replied, her voice filled with quiet intensity. "You're family. And we don't leave family behind. Not out there. Not to the Saviours."

Ariana swallowed hard, the fight slowly draining out of her as Michonne's words settled deep in her chest. She felt the anger and restlessness slowly giving way to something heavier, something closer to acceptance, even if it wasn't what she wanted to feel. "I just need to figure out where I belong."

Michonne nodded, her hand slipping from Ariana's arm but staying close, a quiet gesture of support. "You will. But it's here. It's with us. This place isn't perfect, and none of us are, but we're surviving together. And that's the only way we keep surviving."

Ariana didn't respond for a long moment, her gaze distant as she processed everything, her thoughts swirling. She hated the idea of staying in a place that felt like a cage, but maybe Michonne was right... maybe facing the uncertainty of what came next didn't mean running away. Maybe it meant staying and trying to find her place in the only home she had left.

Finally, she looked back at Michonne, her voice quiet but steady. "Alright." She said, her tone laced with reluctant acceptance. "I'll stay. But I can't keep doing nothing, Michonne. I need to feel like I'm part of something, or I will lose my mind."

Michonne nodded, relief softening her features. "We'll find something for you. We'll figure it out together."

Ariana gave a small, hesitant nod, but there was still a flicker of doubt in her eyes. She wasn't sure how to shake the feeling of being adrift in a world that had taken so much from her. But for now, she'd stay. She'd try. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough to start with.

But the thought of the Saviours lurking just outside those walls still lingered, like a shadow waiting to pounce.