Chapter 25

 I only returned to the studio an hour before Pyramid the next week, taking a mental and physical break from dancing. Still, Abby had a request of me.

"I'd like you to help me out with the group and teach a few ballet classes to the younger students this week to keep your muscles moving," she told me at the front desk. "Oh, and Peyton's with the Elite team this week."

I tried not to make a face. "Okay, sounds good. Thank you."

Peyton Ackerman was indeed at Pyramid. I said hello politely. "Hi, Peyton, how are you doing?"

"I'm happy to be with the team. Good job last weekend."

"Thanks, I was over the moon about it. It's nice to be back in the studio, tough. So you're with us for the week? Longer?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Hopefully I'm on probation and my mom keeps her mouth shut."

"Yeah, I'm glad that mine's not around sometimes and Aunt Melissa doesn't interfere," I agreed.

The mothers and other dancers filed in, then Abby entered in all her glory.

"So, it was a successful week," she began. "No one placed lower than third and it was a clean sweep. Joanne was at the YAGP final, and she did amazing!"

Everyone clapped for me, and I grinned. "Onto the pyramid. On the bottom, Peyton, you're with us this week and are on probation. You'll be in the group dance. Next, Ursula, you were supporting Joanne which is kind of you, but you didn't dance. Nothing to judge you on. I hope that you kept up with your training?"

"Yes, Miss Abby."

"Good. Next is Kendall, not much to judge you on other than the group, it was fine. Next, Paige. You were good, but can place higher than third. Your technique was a bit messy in the group."

Paige nodded, not too upset.

' "First on the middle row is Mackenzie. You won your division, but next time I want it by more than a point, yes?"

Kenzie nodded. "Will I be in the group this week?"

"Yes, if you can do a solo and win you can be in the group. Next is Chloé, you were second, which is usually the first to lose but you performed admirably in both your solo and the group. Next is Brooke, I challenged you with a new style and you went out there and looked great. I thought that you stepped it up in the group as well."

"Thank you," Brooke said happily. I hoped that positive reinforcement would help her get her passion back for dancing.

"Second on the pyramid, Nia. You beat Chloé and Paige, so excellent job. You're getting there in Lyrical, but I think that Contemporary is your strength right now. Back on top of the pyramid is Maddie. Overall high score and you won your division. You led the group to victory, so great job."

Maddie grinned, buzzing with joy. She'd worked hard to get back on top.

"The second person on top of the pyramid is Joanne. You went to a huge competition, tied for third against older dancers, and got the top Contemporary score of the whole competition. Fantastic job."

I acknowledged the praise. "Thank you, Miss Abby. I'm very proud of myself."

"As you should be. This week, Ursula is not in the group but has a duet with Brooke and a solo. You two are my acrobats and your duet is Cirque du Soleil-themed."

Ursula and Brooke grinned at each other. "Yay! Thank you!"

"Joanne is our main choreographer this week. She has four Lyrical solos ready, and is going to help with the group. Who are the solos going to, Joanne?"

"Maddie, Chloé, Paige and Nia," I replied confidently.

"Why not Peyton?" Leslie complained. "You should help your fellow Catholic. Everyone but her has a solo!"

"The solos are below her technical level and meant for the Junior category. Besides, Kendall, Brooke and I don't have solos," I replied reasonably. Leslie didn't have much to say to that.

"Leslie, you should keep quiet, and maybe Peyton can stay on this team," Abby told Leslie firmly. "The group dance is about bullying, and I have two leads. Maddie, because she did well last week, and Nia, you're the bully."

Maddie snorted. "I can't see her being a bully."

"It's just acting. I've played a murderer and a goddess," I pointed out.

"Right. Nia, you're a sweet kid, but I need to see you be mean onstage. Playing roles like this will help you be a professional dancer," Abby explained.

Abby started with Ursula's solo so that I could learn the different parts of the group routine with Gia. It wasn't too hard but would need to be in sync, especially with Peyton in the group.

During group rehearsals, I noticed that Peyton was marking instead of going full-out. I didn't say anything, but Abby certainly did.

"Peyton! That is a full turn sequence, not a single pirouette!" Abby barked. "You dance with the Teen company and rehearse full-out, this isn't any different."

"I know the dance, though," Peyton replied. I raised an eyebrow- that was decidedly not the right way to talk to Miss Abby, whose face reddened.

"How am I supposed to know that if you're marking it?" She nearly spit in Peyton's face. "As for the rest of you, it's fine. Nia, the moves are good, but I need to see you be mean. Angry. You're boring me. Paige, your feet are so sickled on that part, I want to scream."

To my relief, the four Junior soloists were better listeners than Peyton. I set forty-five minutes aside for each girl that day, and started with Chloé.

"Okay, Chlo, your solo is called 'Butterfly' and it's meant to not have much of a story, but to show off your technique and emotion. It's very technical and difficult."

We'd only finished half of the solo once forty-five minutes was up, but this was far and away the hardest solo she'd ever had. Paige was up next, and she rarely did Lyrical solos, so I gave her a set story to follow.

"This dance is called 'When Night Falls.' You have a date with someone, and you're dancing because you're looking forward to it. So you need to be happy but also very fluid."

Paige picked up choreography quickly enough, but she was very stiff and in a jazz headspace when rehearsal ended. Nia, confident from her last few weeks of competition, entered the room smiling.

"Miss Abby said that you're better at Contemporary than Lyrical. I think you're equally good at both. That said, this is sort of a combination of the styles. It's called 'Take Flight' and you're going to be acting out a baby bird learning how to fly. This is going to be technically challenging for you."

Nia was doing fine but needed to be a lot more technically accurate when Maddie came in for her turn. "I want to win this week," she told me right away.

"Well, I hope that I can give you the solo to do it," I replied. "As Miss Abby said at Pyramid, it's Lyrical, entitled 'Into the Light.' It's a mature piece, kind of sad, about someone who's moving on from something."

"Like me moving on from the ALDC?"

I snorted. "Ah... I started choreographing and realized that I was depicting someone who was dying and going to Heaven."

"Oh. Well, I can do that," Maddie said. "I did the 'Disappear' solo last year, and that was about abuse."

"That was a great solo. Alright, let's get started."

Maddie was by far the quickest to pick the choreography up, but her facials did not come across as authentic and she was rushing. All the soloists had things to work on, but there were still a few days left, and I told them all to practice on their own.

I felt so free this week as I didn't have to get up to do schoolwork. I was only an early riser by necessity, and because Misty would wake me up when Melody left for school in the mornings. I would then roll over and doze for another hour if I had the opportunity.

I didn't have any photoshoots that week, but took the chance to look over my schedule for the next few weeks. Pointe Magazine wanted to interview me next week, which would mean a full morning on Monday. I was on tap for a photoshoot with Under Armor the next Thursday, and had other interviews and photoshoots the week after that, closer to home than New York.

I also took time to stretch out my aching muscles and stay off my feet, which were incredibly sore after the finals. As a result, I was less active when showing choreography than I wanted to be, but everyone understood the terminology so it was fine. Payton was continuing to have trouble in the group dance.

"Tighter on that," Abby told her. "Fourth time today. You take ballet, right?"

Peyton nodded tightly. "Sorry, I'll fix it."

"You're not setting up that turn well enough to be stable," I supplied. "You're sort of rushing into it and so you're not spotting correctly."

Peyton did it correctly that time, and didn't talk back. She wasn't the nicest but was nowhere near the level of her mother, and I couldn't blame her for having an attitude after being raised by Leslie. I had quite the attitude myself, it was just more respectful.

The solos progressed well, but Maddie just wasn't taking corrections. I was a bit concerned- she was a much better dancer than she was showing. I chose to talk to her at home rather than in the studio, not wanting to put more pressure on her.

"I'm sorry about the solo," she said, looking up at me tearfully. "I love it, I just- I don't know if I can do it."

"Oh, sweetie. I'm not upset about the dance, I'm worried about you," I replied softly, placing Misty on her lap for support. "It's not even that bad, you're just rushing. Is there anything going on that you're willing to talk to me about?"

Maddie nodded. "I- I just feel bad because I haven't been winning as much. Miss Abby said that I was getting worse, but I've been working so hard."

I sighed. "Well, Miss Abby is wrong."

"Adults can't be wrong."

"Oh yes, they can. You have worked hard, and you have improved, it's just that so has everyone else. If you let yourself lose confidence, you're just going to feel worse about your dancing, and you're so talented and hardworking. You can win this weekend, you just have to believe it, and dance like it. That's part of the reason why Chloé's been doing so much better, she gained confidence. Every dancer has self-doubt, you just have to learn to get through it."

Maddie sniffled. "Even you?"

"Oh, yeah. You think I wasn't terrified going into YAGP? Everyone else has been doing this for longer than me, and they knew their dances for a good year more than me. Still, I faked being confident until I started being confident. I'm still getting there. You can too."

Maddie was better after our talk, at least she wasn't letting it affect the group dance. At the competition, I tried to be as helpful as possible, trying to ignore the way my hands trembled whenever I stopped moving. I'd had a bad night, having so many nightmares that I gave up on sleeping and watched a movie downstairs at three in the morning. Not great, I'd need to talk with my therapist about that.

Ursula's solo was up first, and she was doing a Contortion/Jazz routine about a warrior- the theme wasn't put together, but she was. I watched as she went onstage and hit every trick while charming the crowd and hopefully the judges. I went backstage to support the Juniors, and they were all going in a row, with Chloé up first. She went on and nailed her routine, using that genuine emotion that made her so amazing to watch while pulling off Teen-level technical content. Paige was next, and I thought it was the best I'd seen her dance. She had small technical issues that would keep her from beating Chloé but she was rightfully proud of herself.

Nia's solo was amazing as well, and she captured the character perfectly. As with Paige, she just wasn't advanced enough to get up to Chloé's difficulty level, but I didn't see many errors from her.

Maddie, on the other hand.... She'd probably have wanted to go first of the four, because she rushed everything and stumbled out of her turns. I winced in sympathy and hugged her when she got offstage, headed towards a quiet area to try and avoid the cameras. She did not perform a second time.

"It's okay. Mistakes happen," I told her firmly. "You want to cry, I get that. Maybe hold it until the cameras are gone."

Maddie nodded, swallowed her feelings, and headed back to the dressing room, where Abby immediately made things worse.

"Maddie, what was that? The winner from last week wasn't onstage today, that's for sure. Oh well, moving on, it's time for the duet."

My older cousin volunteered to do Ursula's hair. I guess she was picking up on my coping mechanisms. Ursula and Brooke's duet was beyond amazing, as they played circus performers to perfection, and the mood was up going into the group dance. This was going well, with Nia and Maddie standing out as the leads, until Peyton fell out of her turns then looked lost for a moment. In both versions of the dance, judged and for the camera. "What the fuck? Sorry," Ursula groaned quietly enough for only me to hear. "That's not good."

Awards were up next, luckily. I joined the team onstage and clapped as Maddie placed 8th, Paige was 3rd, Nia was 2nd and Chloé was 1st with a score of 297 in the Junior category. Ursula got a perfect score to win the Teen division, and she and Brooke's duet won Teens. The group, predictably, placed second.

"So how do you think you did, Peyton?" Abby fumed in the dressing room.

"I did good," Peyton shrugged. "The turns weren't great but the rest of it was."

"Oh, really?" Abby spat. "What fourteen-year-old falls out of five pirouettes? That should be basic for you."

"I thought that I was better than everyone else, anyway," Peyton claimed, making Ursula and I look at each other in shock.

"Abby-" Leslie began.

"Your kid said what she said. She meant it. For your information, Peyton, you were not the best in that group. We have a good rapport here, we don't criticize each other. You need to learn that."

"Don't talk to my daughter that way!" Leslie was up in arms. "She did her best."

As the argument escalated, I turned my hearing aids down and fought back panic. Ursula noticed and came to shield me from the cameras, offering silent support. It was a bad end to a relaxing week.