Chapter 22

{I'm sorry}

Chapter 22: Spiderman

"What is so wrong with liking him?"

Everything. Everything is wrong with liking him.

First of all, there's the high possibility he doesn't like me back. And that only leads to heart break.

Second of all, even if he does like me back, we will part ways after this movie is finished. So, that leads to heart break.

Third of all, all of Briannas boyfriends were assholes. Trevor turned out to be an asshole. Boys are just assholes in general. That also, leads to heart break.

Fourth of all, he doesn't like me-and I'm well aware that I've already mentioned this.

"A lot of things, Brianna," I say simply.

"But what if he ever asks you out?" Brianna asks. I seriously doubt he would ask me out. What kind of question is that? Is she trying to give my hopes up?

"I'd say no."

"Well you are being a Boowah!" She exclaims and walks out of the room.

"Wait! Bri, come back!" I yell to her. I hear some huffing and then the door swings open.

"What?"

"I'm the one suppose to be mad," I say and stand up. I then run out of the room leaving Brianna behind. I keep walking until I reach the kitchen.

"That's better," I say under my breath.

"What's better?" I hear Logan ask from behind me. I jump at the sudden voice and turn to him.

"I, um-Bri....Bear," I stammered. Why the hell do I always act like this? Stupid feelings, stupid embarrassment.

He gives me a weird look and then shakes his head with a smile.

"I have no idea what that means," he says chuckling. I let out a forced laugh.

"Me neither," I mumble.

"So..." Logan trails off. "Once this party is over, do you want to watch a movie or something?"

My eyes widen. Logan and I...watching movies...together?

Damn Alex, get a hold of yourself! You've done this before, just because you have feelings for him doesn't change anything.

"I mean, there's a super heroes marathon coming on at 8:30," he explains and I nod a little too quickly.

"Yes, I'd love that!" I say smiling. Alex, stop being so weird.

"Cool," he says.

"Cool," I say.

~

A few hours later, the party is over. Everyone except Brianna, Logan and me have left. Yes, even Sam has left.

"You need help cleaning?" Logan asks and I shake my head.

"Its your birthday, you don't need to clean."

"Its my birthday, I'm aloud to clean," he retorts.  I laugh.

"Touche."

After about 25 minutes of cleaning, sweeping, and breaking glasses-that was all Logan- we finish.

"I can buy you new glas-"

"It's fine," I interrupt. I'm just glad to be spending time with him;even if it means he breaks some plates.

"So you want to watch the movies now?" Logan asks and I nod. I go sit down on the couch as he outs in the first movie.

He sits down next to me and automatically puts his arm on the top of the couch. If I lean any closer, we would practically be cuddling; which excites me, yet terrifies me.

~

"FINALLY WE WATCH SPIDER-MAN!" I exclaim. Spider-Man is my favorite super hero and I've been waiting almost all night for it to come on.

Logan chuckles. He chuckles. At me. He's technically laughing at me.

I look over at him and he's staring at me. I automatically feel self- conscious, and I try to cover my face with my hair.

"Stop staring at me," I mumble.

"Well, it's not my fault you look better than the movie."

I blush, even though I don't completely believe his compliment.

"Shut up."

Oh my gosh- he just-now he's smirking- that cocky bastard.

I'm interrupted by Logan asking me something

"Alex, we are friends right?"

"Of course"

What is he going to say. Stop biting your lip, you look sexual, Alex!

"Well I like someone, should I ask them out, sometimes I think she likes me but I don't know."  I heard Logan ask. He likes someone? There goes my chances.

"Well, ask her if she likes you."

He looks over at me.

"I..I don't know."

"J-just do it. Call her and tell her," I say even though I don't exactly want him to.

"Ok," he takes out his phone and dials a number. 'voicemail' He mouths and u nod.

"Alex.. I kinda fancy you. I don't know if I really like you but I want to find out could we like maybe go out sometime?"

What did he just say? Alex as in me Alex?

I don't know if I want it to be me or not.

Why couldn't he of just watched Spider-man and be quiet? Ugh, I can't say yes, what if I mess up?

"Umm- c-can we please just stay friends?"

"Sure... it's getting late I better go" Logan says. He gets his stuff and leaves without saying 'Goodbye.'

Oh God.. I just blew it with LOGAN FUCKING LERMAN. I saw his eyes water up. What if he actually liked me? Why did I just do that? He probably hates me now. I'm so stupid.

Unless, Unless he's acting. I mean, he is an actor after all. All these feelings he apparently "have" for me could all be fake.

The door opens and Bri walks in

"Hi!" I hear Brianna say as she walks into the apartment.

"Hey." I say, not as enthusiastic. She notices and frowns when she sees my distant expression.

"What's wrong?" She asks. "And where did Logan go?" She adds.

I shrug. "He went home."

"Why?"

"I..I don't know," I lied. I feel bad for lying, but I don't feel like talking about it.

"Alex," she says plainly. "What happened?"

I shake my head. "Nothing happened."

She gives me a blank stare. She then sighs.

"If you don't tell me, I'm gonna have to ask Logan," she told me. I shrug.

"Better him then me."

"Seriously though Alex. What the hell happened?!" She exclaims. "And don't you dare say nothing because I know it wasn't nothing."

"I just made a bad decision, okay?" I admit, quietly. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay.." She says. "Will you ever tell me?"

"Well yeah, someday. It's not that big of a deal." I admit. "I just don't want to talk about it."

She raises an eyebrow, still wondering what happened.

"And no I didn't do drugs or get drunk or anything bad. That's not what I meant by making a bad decision," I tell her. She sighs.

"Okay, talk to you later." She then leaves. I put my hands on my head.

I'm so stupid.

'You did the right thing,' I told myself. 'He doesn't actually like you. It's just him appreciating you for being a good friend.'

I tell myself these things over and over, but a part of me wants him to like me. But everyone who has a crush wants them to like them though right? Right. I've had this crush for only 8 hours and I'm already going mental. I wish I didn't like anyone at all. The curiosity to know if they like you or not is killing me. Even though a large part of me doesn't believe he likes me at all.

"Alex! Do you want to go out for dinner-" she stops when she sees me. I didn't even notice the tears that were starting to fall down my cheeks. I seriously have to stop this, I need to stop crying over a small crush. I'm pathetic.

"Yeah, dinners good." I say, wiping my cheek.