Chapter 34

We lean against a rail on the outside. The Hub is visible for a moment I feel like we are children again just staring at it for ours. Occasionally glancing at our reflections in the glass windows. He slowly picks at his nails. I look up to the dark sky. "I get it ya know. The name Four, four fears." I say to break the cold silence that is between us. If this is what left of the close bond we had before then I want to cry. But it is all my fault this. I pushed him away like I do when people dare get close to me. He looks at me with a sad smile. "Four then four now kiddo. Somethings just never change." He replies. He looks to his feet. "Do you wanna know why I transferred here?" He asks. I nod my head. He takes a deep breath.

"Part of the reason was to get away from Marcus. Another small part is because we had both planned to escape here when we were younger. But perhaps the biggest reason is that whenever he was beating me you use to take the blame for everything. You use to jump in front of that vile leather belt to protect me. It was because of me you had more scars than necessary, so I thought if I left maybe things would get better for you. I'm nothing but bad news, but I could see things didn't improve between you and Marcus. And I felt sick because of it. I'm sorry Sonia, I know that doesn't mean much and I don't blame if you want to be as far away from me as possible. I don't blame you. But I wanted to make sure you survive this." His voice has begun to sound teary.

He transferred for me, for us. I remember every night he used to lay next to me and tell me that we would be brother and sister in Dauntless and for so long I believed him. I'm ridden with guilt so much I cry. I've pushed him away so far I don't think we can be mended. "You were always the brave one. I don't deserve to be your brother." He adds. I shake my head and wipe a tear away with my palm. 

"It's not your fault Tobias. Look at me I am bitter, no wonder you left. When I came here all you wanted to do was to be my brother. But I pushed you away so far." I turn into a crying mess ashamed of what I have done to him. He wraps me in his arms and pulls me into his chest. "Listen it isn't your fault. You had to be a fighter for so long and you built your defences up." He says. "When you pass I want us to be a family, just me, you and Tris. I want you to come to our wedding." He says with a grin. I nod my head. He hugs me again. "You had better get going, You're facing your own fears tomorrow." 

"Ok. See you then...Tobias." I say with a weak smile. 

"Will do...Sonia." He replies back. 

I smile on my way back to dorm, I have my brother back now. I finally see why he left, I finally have something to fight for here and I am not going anywhere. For the first time in years I feel almost complete. With Tobias by my side. We haven't spoke in three years but it doesn't feel like he has been away for that long. I turn into the chasm and I faintly see the outlines of an olive skinned male with dark brown hair. He sits on the bench looking over the roar of the chasm. The closer I get to him he has an irresistible force which pulls me in further to his aura. Connor. He looks pretty sad and his body shakes. I take a seat next to him. His usual combed to the side hair is a little out of place. 

"Oh hey where you been, are you ok?" He asks with a shock. 

"I just had to get away for a while. I'm fine what about you guys?" I ask him. 

"We're good. I couldn't sleep I am worried about tomorrow, though you have nothing to worry about." He says with an emphasis on the word 'you'. I frown. "What is that suppose to mean?" I ask. He shakes his head and puts in the palm of his hands. "I know what you are...It is obvious. I have seen it before." He replies not taking his eyes off me. I begin to shake and move back. Like a baby animal. I try to force a shocked smile. "What am I then?" I ask. 

"Divergent." He whispers. That word runs through my body like a truck. Or a bullet. I can't deny it. I'm a terrible liar. "C-Connor I -" I begin to speak but he stops my by pressing his hand on my shoulder causing another impulse to run through my body. "Don't worry I won't tell anyone. Because it would be hypocritical of me to. Because I am the same. Candor, Dauntless, Erudite. Divegrent." Relief picks me back and I rest my hand on his shoulder. "I won't tell either." I say with a reassuring smile. 

He smirks and he loosens the grip he has on my shoulder. "I also know how Erudite are capable of lying. And how dangerous they can be." He takes a deep breath. "My brother was Divergent, he had one of the highest IQ's in the faction. But they found out and they killed him, making his death look like suicide. I knew I had to get out of there." He whispers and tears fall from his dangerously beautiful eyes to the ground. "And I know there is a chance of me being caught so I have to say this just in case. I like you a lot. I mean when I look at you I feel as though I am going to combust into a pile of flames. I feel alive and I am hooked on you." He adds. I feel light headed as he gets closer ans I feel hi swarm body touch mine. "I might be in love with you." He whispers before pulling me so his lips can touch mine. 

They are warm and have a taste of lime and water. It feels strange, put it feels right. Like I have found a new energy that just needed to be released. He moves his lips away and that energy has quickly disappeared. I am almost breathless. If I died now, I would have died alive with my life fulfilled. He smiles a little and his face is red. "Sorry I did that. I just had to. But I know I don't have a chance against that Four guy. I have seen the way he looks at you. Why would a girl like you settle for a guy like me? When you could have the illusive Four huh?" He asks. 

I get a sick feeling in my stomach. Then it turns into a tickling laugh. "Ew! Four he is my brother. How could you think we were together"? I ask. Connor quickly raises his head up to me. I stop laughing. "If you do feel that way about me, then I feel the same way towards you." I whisper back. Slowly he smiles and he takes my hand before we kiss again. I feel his breath on my face and his smooth fingers hold my cheeks. "Together?" He asks. I smile 

"Together." I reply so easily. And together we walk hand in hand back to dorm.