Chapter 33

I sit opposite from her in her office in the Erudite headquarters. A large glass window overlooks the Erudite compound as though she is watching them. And the whole city. She sits down and removes her glasses and places them in her chest pocket and smiles towards me. There is a knocking on the door.

"Come in please." She says with a second to none formal sounding tone of voice. She rests her hands by her computer. Her nails have been bitten raw. Weird how the rest of her isn't a step out of line. A young male with a muscular frame, dark brown hair, a hooked nose, green eyes and dimpled cheeks enters the room. I know this guy from somewhere. He hands Jeanine a pile of paper and he has nervousness to him. "Mine and Cara's lab report on the produce testing in Amity." He says. He briefly looks at me and looks back to Jeanine. He his quite good looking and I know for certain I know him from somewhere. Jeanine looks at the papers and makes a smile. "Ah, thank you Caleb, a hard worker as ever." I look up in shock. Caleb Prior? Tris's brother. He transferred to Erudite from Abnegation. I thought I recognized him. He looks strange in a suit, but handsome none the less. Though no match to Connor's appearance. He smiles giddly and his skin reddens. "Thank you Miss Matthews." Caleb says, he looks at me again as he leaves the office.

Jeanine puts the papers to the side of her desk in a neat pile. A young woman with her hair in a ponytail and dark red lips pours a brown liquid into two white cups beside me and Jeanine. "Thank you Laura." Jeanine says quietly. Laura nods her head and stands to the side. Jeanine takes a sip of her drink. "So Miss Eaton. Are you happy with your new faction?" She asks putting her cup down.

"It has its moments." I reply back. Jeanine adjusts a strand of her hair.

"Good. It is hard to sever bonds with friends and family. So many people don't stay true to themselves who they are. But that this the problem with human nature, it holds us back. That is why it is necessary to iron it out." She says not moving her grey eyes off of me.

"So you think human nature needs to be eradicated?" I ask her with shock. Human nature is what makes us. If it doesn't exist then who are we? Who are we if we aren't ourselves?

"Well I think human nature is the enemy. Human nature prevents us from the most important rule; Faction before blood. Difficult yes. But necessary in order for our survival, the faction system survival. Human nature almost destroyed our society the faction system is what brought it back." Jeanine explains. "As Dauntless you are required to protect the habitats of this city so therefore the faction system. And I am wanting to know if you would help me with that."

"Help you?" I ask. She nods her head.

"Yes. I need to know I can count on you to enforce the law even if someone you care about has broken it. Do you know Abnegation is breaking the law by putting up the faction less and harbouring Divergents?" She asks. I get a sick feeling in my stomach. Does she know I am Divergent? Does she have an exact list?

"No I wasn't aware but if that is correct then thank goodness I left." I say faking a smile. Jeanine chuckles making my blood heavy with ice.

"Good. Because if Abnegation continue to exist then they will eventually kill the faction system. Divergence is extremely dangerous it is the biggest threat we face along with human nature." There it is out of the smartest person in this city. Confirmation on how much danger I carry with me.

"Well I'll be glad to be any assistance to you." I respond light headed.

"Well I will have my car take you back to Dauntless." She says smiling.

I sit in her car in silence as we drive through Chicago. The sky is darkening and the streets are empty. I bite my nails until blood begins to draw. A drop of it falls onto the leather seating in the back. I have never been in a car. Not many people have; oil has become an extreme rarity that not many people can afford. In the night the black, sleek body work is probably difficult to see. Like a panther.

We arrive in Dauntless Eric and Max are outside waiting for me with folded arms. Jeanine's driver lets me out and like a child I look to the floor as I walk towards Eric and Max.

"Ah there you are Stiff. We were getting worried about you. It is illegal here for initiates to leave without permission. But as you are doing so well we will let you off." Eric says with a patronizing tone to his voice. "Now get back." He adds. I nod. I feel tired my nerves have run wild today I have learned that Erudite really are tracking us down. And if they can lay one little finger on me I will be dead.

I walk down the cold hallways with my hands in my pockets. It is that quiet I can hear dripping water from the chasm. I want to cry, but I can't, that is what hurts me. Sometimes someone gets so low that the only thing they can do in order to get back up is cry. Someone grabs my wrist and I revolt my body to face them. Tris, she puts a finger to her lip and she takes me down a sideway. "Where did you go today?" She asks whispering. I sigh. "I needed to get out." I reply.

"You went before we had chance to finish." She says.

"Sorry if I over-reacted. I was only told that I am good as dead." I sarcastically say.

"Listen we can help but you need to come with me." Tris. I nod. And I follow her movements. We headed back to the tattoo parlour which is only lit by a few orange candles, the silhouettes of the flame flicker against the designs on the white boards. Tris sits beside Tori who is giving me a disapproving look. I see her shake her head. "Ok there is a way of passing through without getting caught. It is just a case of knowing what to do. Last year I was in your situation, but someone helped me and I have gotten him to help you." As soon as Tris finishes her sentence I hear the glass door slam behind me. I turn to see who will be "helping" me and underneath the flickering orange lights. I see his face that haunts me, that makes my blood hot. Four. 

I break out into laughter. "Him?! Really?! Oh please he has never helped me before. What will make him start now? He abandoned me three years ago I can't look at him." I turn my back on him the way he did with me three years ago. My hand folds itself into a fist, I want to punch his face in but I would have Marcus's blood on my body. Any trace of him makes me sick. Tris shakes her head and points her tongue against her cheek. Tori just raises her eyebrow. 

"Sonia! Please. You're my sister just let me make sure you survive this. Please." He pleads as though his own life is on the line. But it isn't, it is mine which is on the very thin line. But the begging he puts on makes think that he is legitimate. I sigh and close my eyes. 

"Fine. Whatever." I say half-arsed. 

Me and Tobias walk on over to the fear landscape room. My skin is trickling with a glistening sweat. We walk in silence. This is the closest I have been to him for three years. But like I did when ever I was with him three years ago I feel protected. He still has the same impression on me. He turns the handle of the door and holds it open for me. I walk in and he follows making sure the door is closed behind him. I sit on the reclining chair and watch Tobias's long fingers type on a keyboard. 

"Are you Divergent?" I ask him. 

"Yes, just like you." He says without looking at me. I look deeply at his face, at his features; the dark blue eyes, the dark brown hair, the olive skin, the full lower lip and the scars. I then move my eyes to my reflection in the nearby window. We kinda do look a like. Except my eyes are green his are blue. Despite that little variation it can't be denied we are related. I don't know if that is a curse or comfort. He grabs two familiar serum guns and he applies a silver pad to my temple and he puts a silver pad on his temple. His thumb is still smooth from memories of him stroking my face to get me to sleep.

"Who's landscape are we using?" I ask him.

"Mine." He simply says. Undeterred He softly injects my neck and he injects his neck before laying next to me on the chair and together we go into the unknown. 

The room has become a rooftop. An orange sky, the tips of the buildings, wind blowing in my hair and the glass floor which reflects me and Tobias. He looks around and I watch him. "We need a way off the roof. Any ideas?" He asks. Sweat has only just begun to break on his forehead. I look down from the edge of the building we are and see the dark tunnels between the spaces of this building and the next. "We...could jump." I say. 

"No. That is the quickest way they will find out." He scolds me. "Look around for a way to stop it." He adds soother than the first comment. I frantically look for a way to escape. I look down the side of the building. But there is nothing but smooth glass and steel so we can't climb down. "Hurry this is timed." Tobias orders out of fear. His grey t-shirt is beginning to have dark patches of sweat form. I look around again and see a metal platform that enters the open window of another building. Our connection. Our lifeline. "Over there!" I shout. I run over to the platform and run along it, steadily enough so I don't fall off and die. Tobias follows and we both leap into the open window. 

We end up in a dark metal tunnel. The dust is heavy in the air it is enough to make me cough. Tobias is close to me and I feel the warmth of his sweat on my skin. "Number two fear of confinement. This one you can only stop if you can calm yourself." His breathless voice explains. A ear bleeding screech of metal follows and it forces my eyes close and makes my heart stop beating. I push my back against the moving walls and my feet against the opposite wall to hinder the movement. I close my eyes and try to think of happy stuff. Rainbows, unicorns, dauntless cake. The screeching of the metal eventually stops after it has stretched my heart for an eternity. 

I open my eyes and like Tobias my body is covered in sweat. My skin is sticky and my hair wet. I see him stand to his feet and walk down the chasm. Towards a girl with long dark brown hair who sits in a wooden seat underneath a spotlight. Her back is facing me, so I can't make out her facial features. He picks up a gun from the floor and loads it with a silver bullet. I walk round to the front of the chair to see who this girl is. Her skin is pale, her eyes wide and brown, her lips unusually pink her face too innocent. She can't be any older than me, in fact she kinda looks like me. "W-who is she?" I ask Tobias. Without any emotion he talks. "An innocent. Here in Dauntless we have to carry out orders we don't agree with. I have been given the task to kill her. But I can only do it if I look away." He points the gun to the girl's head and turns his head and closes his eyes. And he pulls the trigger. 

The room shifts but not before I catch a glimpse of the young girl laying lifeless in a pool of ruby coloured blood. Together we stand in a familiar territory. Grey walls, grey flooring, no decorations just grey for miles. We are in an Abnegation house. I look over to Tobias who skin is shining in the light from the sweat that drips off of his shaking body. Oh no, no please no. I know where we are all too well. My mouth is dry and like Tobias I am probably covered in sweat. My knees shake. "The last one is your worst fear." Tobias simply says. I look around the kitchen and see Marcus wrap a leather belt around his hand. His usually tidy clothing is a mess. His shirt is un-tucked, his hair is a storm over his head and he stumbles with every step. I step closer to Tobias like an animal under threat. He grabs my forearm, tightly. It is only when I see a body on the ground. A girl with her dark brown hair in a bun, her grey robes covered in thick blood. Me.

Marcus looks straights towards me and I am reminded of what fueled my fire to escape his clutches in the first place. 

"Tobias! Stay there!" Marcus shouts, he walks over to my lifeless body. Like the girl in the last situation I am laying in a pile of blood. Marcus draws his hand back about to hurt me again but I see Tobias run over to Marcus and elbow his face and prevent him from doing anymore damage. Marcus falls to the floor Tobias turns to look at me and then we are back in the fear landscape room. Together our bodies are a shaking mess. Carefully he removes the silver pad from my temple and we walk on over to the outside of the compound. It then comes to me, Tobias isn't the person I should be hating. It's Marcus. What have I done?